Chapter 5: "Specialist" Status and the Akatsuki's Demise
[SYSTEM MESSAGE: REPUTATION ESTABLISHED. NEW ROLE ACQUIRED. PREPARING FOR FURTHER ACCIDENTAL HEROICS.]
Turns out, saving the Kazekage (mostly through being an utterly irritating distraction) earns you some serious brownie points. Even if those brownie points come with a side of "we don't quite understand you, but you're useful, so we'll tolerate you." My new title: "Team Kakashi Specialist." It sounded official. It mostly meant I was now formally stuck with the most dysfunctional yet strangely endearing group of ninjas in Konoha. And I had the Puppet Master Jutsu. Life was good. Well, as good as it gets when you're constantly worried about rogue ninjas and existential dread.
"Honestly, 'Specialist' just sounds like a fancy word for 'the guy we throw at problems when we're out of sensible options.' Which, given the track record of Team 7, means I'm going to be doing a lot of throwing. And probably a lot of screaming. And definitely a lot of sarcastic commentary. It's a living."
The final confrontation with Sasori and Deidara was… messy. Deidara, bless his explosion-loving heart, was a blast (pun absolutely intended). But my main focus was ensuring Sasori's demise, and confirming my acquisition of his skills. The fight was a blur of clay birds, puppet attacks, and me providing a running commentary of the absurdity of it all.
During the chaotic final moments, when Sasori, in his true body, was being cornered by Chiyo and Sakura, I decided to provide one last, glorious burst of 'hate' fuel.
"You know, Sasori," I called out, my voice echoing in the collapsing cavern, "for a guy who's so obsessed with art, you really missed the mark on your grand finale. No dramatic lighting? No emotional orchestral score? And the dialogue? Utterly predictable. Honestly, if you're going to die, at least make it interesting!"
[SASORI HATE METER: 90%]
His eyes, wide with a mixture of pain and incandescent fury, locked onto mine. He lunged one last time, a desperate, final attack, aiming his poisoned blades directly at me.
"You… will… be… SILENCED!" he shrieked, a raw, guttural sound.
I didn't move. I just stood there, a smirk on my face, as Chiyo and Sakura delivered their final, devastating blows, impaling him with their puppet arms. His body went limp, his eyes still burning with hatred towards me.
[SASORI HATE METER: 100% - BLOODLINE: PUPPET MASTER JUTSU ACQUIRED PERMANENTLY!]
"Bingo. Sweet, sweet hatred. The kind that fuels empires and, apparently, my ability to copy cool ninja tricks. Sasori, you magnificent, grumpy, puppet-obsessed weirdo, you've truly given me a gift. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some puppets to redecorate. Maybe with glitter. Lots and lots of glitter."
The dust settled. Gaara was rescued. The Akatsuki duo was defeated. And I was now a proud owner of the Puppet Master Jutsu. I could practically hear Stiles Stilinski cheering in my head, probably suggesting I make a puppet of his lacrosse coach.
Back in Konoha, the debriefing was… an experience. Tsunade, the perpetually exasperated Hokage, stared at me with a mixture of suspicion and grudging respect.
"So, Adam," she said, her voice heavy with implied threats, "your 'accidental' map proved… remarkably accurate. And your… 'presence' during the fight was, shall we say, unique."
"Just doing my part, Hokage-sama," I chirped, adopting my most innocent expression. "I have a knack for finding things. And for motivating people. Sasori, for example, seemed incredibly motivated by my constructive criticism. Sometimes, people just need a little push, you know? A little… verbal persuasion."
Kakashi, leaning against the wall, his visible eye still betraying a hint of amusement, chuckled. Naruto, his hair still pink, grumbled something about "being lucky." Sakura just rolled her eyes, but there was a faint, almost imperceptible, hint of a smile playing on her lips.
My 'specialist' status was confirmed. I was now formally assigned to Team Kakashi. Which meant more adventures, more pranks, and more opportunities to annoy powerful people into giving me their abilities. It was going to be a wild ride.