It was a month later both of our birthdays passed and we ba talked anymore even though all I could think about was her. Throu the month after we broke up I felt worthless and like I wasn't e going to feel like anybody to another person. I had gotten close t boy named Tri. I had found out he liked me and even though I may have felt the same way as him I hoped it would help me find myself we dated all summer. During that summer I learned about Aub Wyatt and her tragic story and even though I had been terrified death, hearing that some had been feeling the same way made happier and I was almost obsessed with the thought of death.
I had just started 6th grade. I was excited and was happy wasn't going single until he started telling people we werent datin after finding that out I felt deeper than you couid ever imagine and ended up breaking up with Tri for my own mental health. I had met some amazing friends going into middle school, some I knew from mutual friends, some brand new, some I've known forever without ever talking to. I had met Leana through our best friend, she was a kind, funny, smart and a silly girl. I thought nothing could ever go wrong for her but when she opened up it wasn't as picture perfect. I met Mikey from school. We had some classes together and we seemed super different and yet when I learned about her messed up past I felt like I met someone like me and would listen to the things I related to. Finally I made a friend named Alex. We had gone to school together for years but didn't really know each other. She was also very kind and smart but she was there when I needell a laugh or when I just needed someone to talk to.
This friend group had been exactly what I needed. They helped me figure out who I was when I realized I was a lesbian and didnt feel subjected to being just a girl. We all got in and out of relationships, some bad and some good but we got out of it together. When I got out of my relationship with Tri I felt completely alone and ended up cutting my thighs until scars appeared.
It was after school when nobody was home. I was getting ready and putting on a loop necklace when I wanted to pull it tight and never let go until everything was over and I blacked out. Me and Arabella had regained communication so instead of following my impulse I texted her we had promised that we could always come to each other and trust each other without telling others what had happened.