The morning after Rei helped bind a cursed beast in secret, he woke up to the scent of burnt toast and bureaucracy.
He stepped outside to open his herb stall, only to find three men in purple-and-gold robes standing in a semi-circle around his front table like vultures waiting for a corpse to die properly.
Behind them stood a fourth man in polished armor, his face locked in the grim seriousness of someone who ironed his socks and saluted housecats.
Rei narrowed his eyes. "You're either here to inspect my herbs or confiscate my soul."
The man in the tightest robe stepped forward, puffing out his chest like a pompous chicken.
"I am Jander Quilt, certified assistant to the Assistant Inspector-General of the Orenth Guild of Beast Affairs," he announced, brandishing a scroll like a sword. "And you, sir, are in violation of multiple Guild statutes."
Rei blinked. "That's a lot of confidence for a guy whose wig is on backward."
Jander yanked the powdered monstrosity off his head with a scowl. "Mock all you want, tamer—unlicensed tamer—but we have reports. You performed an unauthorized high-grade spiritual binding in a non-sanctioned district."
Rei sighed. "I sell herbs."
"Do not insult our intelligence."
"That's hard," Rei said dryly, "when one of your inspectors is sniffing my chamomile."
Indeed, one of the assistants had picked up a jar labeled "Sleepy Leaf" and was cautiously sniffing it like it might explode.
The armored man cleared his throat. "Sergeant Kroll. Outer City Patrol. We've also received complaints of unregistered beast housing, selling spirit-sensitive reagents without guild permits, and giving a noble's wyvern 'hallucinogenic tea.'"
"That wyvern had trauma," Rei said. "It saw a ghost bird. I fixed that."
"With psychedelic fennel!"
"It worked."
Jander slammed the scroll onto the stall. "You are hereby summoned to the Beginner's Beast Bonding Tournament tomorrow morning to verify your credentials. If you refuse—"
"We fine you," Kroll added, crossing his arms. "And possibly seize your... uh... rabbit."
Rei slowly turned to Kroll with the look of a man deciding whether jail time was worth it.
"You. Touch. The bunny."
Fluff, resting on the herb shelf, opened one eye.
Kroll took a full step back.
Rei set down a receipt and smiled at Jander. "Fine. I'll enter your little pet parade. But if I win something, I'm invoicing you."
---
That Evening – Inside Rei's Back Room
Ellyn paced furiously, violet hair bouncing with every step. "You're being forced into a tournament because you saved my life?"
Rei sipped his tea. "I know. Ungrateful world."
"This is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!"
"No, the dumbest thing was sticking your hand into a void rift."
"Second dumbest!"
She threw up her hands. "What are you going to do?"
"I'll lose."
"You what?!"
"I'll go, let Nib fake a cramp, and throw the match. They'll forget me in five minutes."
"You tamed a cursed voidbeast. You scared off a noble's drake. And your bunny might be a god. No one's forgetting you."
Rei held up a finger. "Correction: they'll forget if I don't reveal anything."
Ellyn squinted. "And your squirrel?"
Rei gestured to Nib, who was currently chewing a hole through the tea table's leg with blissful malice.
"He can fake being weak. Croaky can't be trusted—he always starts singing."
From the corner, the frog let out a soul-wrenching rriiibbit.
"See? That's his warm-up tone."
---
Next Morning – Orenth City Arena
The arena stood like a proud relic from another age—grand, half-crumbling, and absolutely overpopulated. The seats overflowed with peasants, nobles, merchants, and spirit beast enthusiasts betting hard-earned coin on creatures that might explode at any moment.
Rei stood quietly in the competitor's line with a wooden slate bearing his name:
"Rei Valen – Class: ???"
All around him, other contestants showed off exotic beasts: a lava mole, a lightning falcon, even a floating slime bear.
Rei had a squirrel.
And a snoring bunny stuffed in a pouch.
People stared. One boy pointed. "He brought a pet store reject!"
Rei waved. "She's half-shark. Careful."
More laughter.
---
Match 1: Rei Valen vs. Delv the Flame Fang
Delv strutted into the ring wearing red leather armor, a full chest of pride, and a face that screamed "bragged about this on his parents' coin." His bonded beast, a three-headed flame fox, roared dramatically.
"You sure you want to do this, squirrel boy?" Delv asked, smirking.
"I'm just here for the snacks."
The bell rang.
Delv pointed. "Ignis! Maul!"
Rei nudged Nib forward. "Play dead."
The squirrel darted forward—and promptly tripped over its own tail and rolled across the dirt like a tumbleweed of shame.
The crowd howled with laughter.
Even Delv paused. "Seriously?"
Nib groaned pitifully and flopped belly-up.
Rei gave a thumbs-up. "Good job, buddy."
Then the flame fox froze mid-pounce. Its three heads all twitched.
It sniffed once… and bolted.
Literally ran away. Yelping.
Everyone went silent.
The referee hesitated. "Uh… match forfeited? Winner: Rei Valen?"
Rei pointed. "I didn't do anything."
The crowd erupted.
---
Backstage
Ellyn smirked from behind the curtain. "Trying to lose, huh?"
"I tried."
"You tripped your squirrel and still won."
Rei flopped onto a bench. "This is my nightmare."
Kreg walked in holding a meat pie. "Bad news. The betting boards just raised your odds. You're the favorite now."
"I'm being punished for doing nothing."
"You're being worshipped for it," Ellyn corrected.
---
Elsewhere – Guild Observation Room
A magical mirror shimmered in a dark room above the arena. Several Guild observers sat in silence, watching Fluff clean his paws.
"He's done it again," said the scribe.
"No spells cast. No commands," muttered a robed elder. "Just a bunny and a stare."
"I think it blinked once."
The High Beast Examiner leaned forward. "Increase surveillance. That boy's hiding something."
A long pause.
Then the mirror cracked.