"Wonder how many girls he had loved and left haunted." -T.S.
The group stayed quiet for a moment, I dreaded someone bringing up truth or dare. Surprisingly Hannah shot her hand up, and said, "we should play Hot Seat! I used to play it in college and it gets pretty… interesting."
Marshall, who has been quiet, since he is the most mature out of all of us finally chimed in. "So what, someone sits in the middle and then we ask questions or?"
"Yes, exactly like that! We each get the chance to ask the person in the 'Hot Seat' a question and you can only skip one time. If they don't want to answer and they're out of skips they have to do a group designated dare." Hannah responded. We all looked around and there seemed to be no objections so we stood up and shifted over to the lower deck of the yacht, where we could sit in a circle and the person at the top of the circle was the hot seat.
Hannah settled into the hot seat with a smug smile, clearly confident. "Alright, hit me," she said, leaning back as if this was just another casual conversation.
Jacob was the first to jump in, rubbing his hands together like he was plotting something. "Okay, let's start easy. What's the dumbest thing you've ever done while drunk?"
Hannah let out a short laugh. "Oh, that's easy. I once climbed into the back of what I thought was my Uber and ended up crashing a random guy's date. Didn't realize my mistake until he asked me why his date was blonde when he'd been texting a redhead."
The group erupted into laughter, and for a second, she looked smug. But then Nancy grinned, eyes sharp. "Alright, next question. What's something you've done that you never want your parents to find out about?"
Hannah hesitated, then smirked. "There was a very short-lived phase in college where I was a Sugar Baby. Let's just say I was going through a rough patch."
Dani gasped dramatically. "Define short-lived."
Hannah lifted her hands in surrender. "Two months! And I only went on a handful of dates. No, I didn't sleep with any of them." She paused, then added, "Except for one. But he was hot, okay?"
The group groaned and laughed, but then the real fun began.
Justin, who had been silent up until now, leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. His voice was casual, but there was an edge to it. "What's the pettiest thing you've ever done to get back at an ex?"
Hannah gave him a look, almost like she was trying to figure out if he was setting her up. "I may or may not have created a fake Tinder profile of his real face, matched with half of his frat brothers, and let them figure out the rest."
Jacob gave a low whistle. "Remind me never to cross you."
Then, Erik spoke up. "Alright, Hannah. No dodging this one, what's your biggest regret?"
The group quieted just a little, sensing the shift. Hannah blinked, the confidence in her expression faltering for the first time. She glanced at the drink in her hand, then at the circle of expectant faces.
For a second, it looked like she might answer. But then, she gave an easy shrug, masking something deeper behind her playful tone. "No regrets. Just lessons."
Allie wasn't buying it. "Lame answer."
"It's my answer," Hannah shot back, smirking.
The game continued, but the tension from that question lingered just enough to make things interesting.
I toyed with the condensation on my glass, debating if I even wanted to say anything. But curiosity got the better of me. I kept my voice light, casual.
"Hannah, what's the most… morally gray thing you've done for fun?"
It wasn't a direct jab, but it was enough to make her tilt her head, a flicker of something unreadable crossing her face. The group responded with interested murmurs, eyes darting between us.
"Oh, that's a good one," Hunter said, leaning in.
Hannah smiled, but it was the kind that felt placed. "Hmm… I'd say sneaking into an exclusive club under someone else's reservation? Does that count?"
Mallory groaned. "Lame. Come on, morally gray. Not mildly inconvenient for a rich guy."
Hannah laughed, swirling the drink in her glass. "Fine, fine. I may have flirted with someone just to get under another person's skin. But only once," she added quickly, before anyone could pounce.
That answer shouldn't have made my stomach feel weird. I told myself it didn't. Especially after she looked over at Erik then to me.
Justin let out a single amused breath through his nose, but said nothing. I wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.
Hannah grinned, standing up from her seat and pointing to Mallory. "Your turn, Mallory. Don't try to dodge the good questions, okay?"
Mallory raised an eyebrow but didn't hesitate, plopping down in the hot seat with a shrug. "Alright, bring it on. Just don't ask me anything too wild." She gave Hannah a knowing look, and the group chuckled, but it was clear everyone was ready for the next round of questions.
I took a deep breath and leaned back, watching Mallory settle in, a sense of quiet anticipation hanging in the air. The game had only just started, and I was curious to see who would crack next.
The game continued with some awkward confessions from Mallory, a few funny stories from Dani and then finally it was Justin's turn. My heart raced as he took the hot seat. Whatever was about to happen I had to play it off as casual as I could.
Justin ran his hands over his jeans, part of me thought he was more nervous than he led on. "Alright hit me with your best shots." He shrugged confidently in his seat.
The first to ask him a question was Nancy, I could tell she was ready to stir the pot by how she smiled at Hannah. "What's the most scandalous thing you've done while drunk?"
He chuckled low, like he was reminiscing for a second. He looked over at her and his shoulders lifted slightly. "I'm not as scandalous as you guys think I am but I have woken up in someone's bed naked with no recollection of the night before." His eyes flicked at me for a split second, so quick I almost thought he hadn't looked at me. I didn't react to his confession, just watched as the others were clearly intrigued.
"I'm assuming it was a girl's bed?" Jacob asked.
"Yes it was a girl's bed" Justin laughed, shooting another glance at me, we locked eyes for a moment before Mallory's voice cut through.
"I have a good one!" Mallory said, turning to look at Justin. "What's the dirtiest text you've ever sent?" She covered her mouth and looked at me for a beat, knowing he's sent me some pretty out there text messages.
He thought about the question, and then laughed. "Uh it's been a long while since I've sent something dirty and it's not like I do that often. But I told a girl I wanted her so badly and then texted how I wanted to dot dot dot, you can fill in the blank. The only reason it was scandalous was because she was sitting across from me with a group of people including her man. Not my proudest moment."
I felt my chest tighten, he was talking about a text he had sent me last week, I knew I had to play it off. A few people howled and laughed, I however turned to look at Hannah, whose smile was more of a scowl.
"Did the text work?" Erik's voice chimed in, cutting through the laughter, and his look was pointed, almost challenging but he had a smirk across his lips.
And for the first time tonight Justin looked a little uncomfortable. He kinda shifted but instantly fell back into his confident self. I wished he would use his skip but once he laughed I knew he was going to answer it.
"Uhm yeah, it worked." Justin's voice was low and I could tell he was giving Erik some push back. It felt like they both knew what they were talking about.
My chest tightened but I sat as still as possible, looking around for Mallory or Dani but their eyes were fixed between the two guys.
Dani then tapped a finger over her lips, and watched Justin with quiet mischief. "What's your least favorite thing to do in the bedroom?"
He laughed as he processed the question. "Uh I think," for a second his eyes flicked to me, he stared at me longer than I wished he did. Then his eyes moved to Hannah. "I'm not the biggest fan of going down on a girl, I mean I'll do it but I don't prefer it." He let out a low laugh and smiled and now he wouldn't meet my eyes because he knew I knew he was lying.
"You're so selfish!" Nancy hollered as she nudged Hannah lightly.
"I said I'd do it, if that's what the girl wants, I just won't initiate it." He shrugged but he was still lying, I never asked him to go down on me but that's always his go to. I guess he just had to play it off. Though I could see the small disappointment in Hannah's face so I don't know what he's gaining from this lie.
Finally Allie spoke up, asking her question. "Hmm I'll keep it PG since you've been hit with some scandalous ones. Do you believe in soulmates?"
He leaned back in his seat, considering his answer for a moment. His voice came out steady but thoughtful. "I think soulmates exist, but not in the fairy-tale sense. It's not some perfect person who completes you or makes your life whole. I think a soulmate is someone who just… fits, you know? Someone who you can share your darkness and your light with, someone who gets you even when you don't get yourself. It's not about fate or destiny—more like two people finding their rhythm in each other's lives."
He glanced around the room briefly, everyone was silent, he seemed as though he was trying to gauge our reactions before smirking.
"I mean, soulmates don't have to be all about roses and romantic gestures. Sometimes it's just about being in the right place at the right time, and maybe not screwing it up. And I just have a way of screwing it up each time. So who knows." He glanced over at Hannah, who for the first time since he sat down had a genuine smile on her face. For a second his mask slipped, and everyone got to see what I see when it's just him and I. I was impressed with how thoughtful his response was. Everyone was as well, saying "awww" in unison.
"I'm not the horrible guy you guys pin me out to be." Justin shrugged slightly but his smile wouldn't leave his face.
I debated on whether I even wanted to ask him anything or if I wanted to sit this one out. But ultimately I knew it would be weirder if I did say something. Considering the fact that we aren't on "good terms". And no one else seemed to mind that I didn't ask. The game moved on with Hunter and Marshall asking Justin some more dumb questions. And Justin laughing them off but answering them in the same beat. And finally the moment I had been dreading.
"August has been a little quiet. Don't y'all think so?" Jacob cupped his hands so everyone could hear him, and once they did they looked my way with big grins plastered.
I shrugged my shoulders trying to play it cool but deep down I was extremely anxious. "I mean I'm not as interesting as you guys think I am."
I glanced at everyone, they all had the same mischievous glint in their eyes, but Nancy was the first to jump in and ask me a question. "Alright, August. We'll ease you in. What's the most rebellious thing you've ever done?
I let out a soft laugh shaking my head, this one was easing me in. "I was never rebellious growing up, Mallory can attest to that." I turned to look at Mallory who shrugged but nodded yes. "Before I found out about my mom faking cancer I never did anything so honestly everything I've done on this trip has been out of rebellion."
"Well then what's the craziest thing you've done on this trip?" Allie leaned in and asked.
I hesitated for a second because the obvious answer is sex but I can't say that, because Erik thinks I'm a virgin, while half of them think I'm not, and the other half definitely know I lost my virginity on this trip. So I took the easy route. "I've told you guys! Skinny dipping our second night here is by far the craziest thing I've done!" My eyes jumped to Erik because I hadn't told him that, I thought he would be upset but instead his expression mirrored intrigue, like he was surprised at my answer.
Dani smirked, and called for attention. "Okay, okay that was a pretty wild night, I am her witness. But, what's a surefire way to turn you on? In any facet."
A few people let out scandalized laughs, and I felt my face heat. "That's a little personal, don't you think?"
"Oh come on," she teased. "You get one skip and I don't think you wanna waste it this early, not when you got Jacob over there foaming at the mouth to ask his ridiculous question."
She was right, it was too easy of a question, I knew I'd need at least one skip to survive the night. I sighed dramatically. "Fine. Confidence. The kind that isn't forced, not cocky either. And…" I hesitated just enough to keep them on edge. "Knowing when to…take control."
That got a reaction. A few impressed murmurs rang through, followed by a couple of raised eyebrows.
Hannah, who had been watching me like a hawk, took the opportunity and leaned in. "Speaking of control…are you more dominant or submissive?"
Justin shifted slightly in his seat, but I kept my expression neutral, not wanting to let them in too much into the inner workings of my mind. "I think it depends on the situation," I said smoothly.
Erik chuckled, clearly amused. "That's not an answer."
"It is, though." I countered with a grin. "Some situations call for one, some for the other. It's all about balance." I was met with a few agreeing nods but my eyes never left Erik's. It felt like a silent challenge, like I was asking him to be more dominant when it came to us.
Moments later, Justin finally spoke, his voice deceptively casual. "Okay, August. I got one for you. What's one thing that will always get you into trouble?" His question seemed easy, but it was filled with so much I couldn't say. Because he was the answer. He was the one thing that would always get me into trouble and by the look on his face, he knew it.
I hesitated for a second too long, their stares were feeling heavy but in the same breath I brushed off what his smirk was doing to me and answered just as deceptively casual. "I think it's safe to say…alcohol will always get me in trouble."
That earned some laughter and nodding heads. Jacob, who had been eagerly waiting his turn leaned in with a smirk. "Auggie, I want to go easy on you but not too easy, so…what's one thing you refuse to try in the bedroom?"
The question landed like a dropped match, and the reaction was instant. A chorus of laughter, a few gasps, I could feel the heat rush straight to my face.
My first instinct was to protest, to say it wasn't a fair question, that I should get a different one. But that would only make it worse. Instead, I forced a laugh and shrugged. "I feel like you guys are overestimating how much I'd have to choose from."
Dani interjected, eyebrow raised. "That wasn't an answer."
I let out a slow breath, dragging my fingertips over my knee as I thought of something…anything…that would be vague enough to keep the truth at bay. My eyes flickered to Justin without meaning to, and the slight raise of his brow told me he'd caught it. He knew. He knew exactly what I wouldn't do, what I had done, what I'd liked more than I should have.
I forced my gaze away before my thoughts could spiral. "Fine," I said finally, keeping my voice light. "I guess… anything involving food. Like, I don't get the appeal of syrup or whipped cream or whatever."
It was the safest answer I could think of. Innocent enough to keep up the illusion that I wasn't secretly breaking every rule I'd ever set for myself.
Mallory tilted her head, clearly unimpressed. "That's the one thing you wouldn't try?"
I nodded quickly. "Sticky, messy, unnecessary. No thanks."
"Lame," Hunter groaned, but the moment passed, the attention shifting just enough for me to exhale.
I dared another glance at Justin, expecting amusement, but what I got instead was something unreadable. Something that made my stomach flip.
Because he knew I was lying. And worse he wasn't calling me out on it. And then my gaze flicked to Erik, who sat there quietly watching me. His smile was soft, almost endearing, like maybe he thought I was silly for saying food because he "knows" I had no other experiences. Before guilt could set in, Marshall finally spoke up.
True to fashion, he's been quiet most of the game, just taking it all in rather than participating. And somehow that made me even more anxious, because that means that he had been silently observing me, he knew exactly where to go. "What's something you want, but you're afraid to go after?"
His question was thought provoking, not directly contributing to anything I'd done sexually or otherwise but something I'd like to do. I sat for a minute, really considering my answer. "I'm not really the reckless type, so if I want something, I always think it through first. But I think I want to go back to school but I'm afraid I'm so far behind that I'd probably finish by the time I was thirty."
For the first time everyone was pleased with my answer, there were no arguments about me not answering it the way they wanted me to. I took in the moment but without a second thought Erik cleared his throat. His question was next.
His eyes were thoughtful, and that released some tension from my shoulders because I knew he wouldn't take it anywhere weird or sexual. But then thinking about what he could ask me heightened my nerves, because that means he could ask about anything.
Finally he parted his lips and spoke. "Do you believe in love at first sight?"
The question rang through my head, slowly at first, and then in a rush of thoughts. Did I believe in love at first sight? I'd never really thought about it, maybe never even considered it. Everyone waited patiently for my answer, but I just stared at Erik, sensing he was waiting for me to say something, anything, that might hint at how I felt about him. And while I do feel that way about him, love at first sight just isn't real.
I bit my lip, trying to sound casual as I thought it over again. "Do I believe in love at first sight? Maybe… I don't know." I glanced around the group, trying to play it cool, but there was something about this question that pulled at me more than I expected. "I think you can feel an instant connection with someone, but love at first sight? I think love is something that grows the more you get to know someone."
I paused, almost sensing the romantic side of me wanting to speak up, but I pushed it down. "I guess there's a part of me that likes the idea of love at first sight. It's kind of a nice thought, right? That someone could come into your life and just click. But realistically, love takes more than just one moment. It's about the way someone shows up for you, the small things that build up over time, the ways you show up for them."
Erik's gaze softened as I finished speaking, his expression almost unreadable for a moment. He didn't immediately respond, instead looking at me with something like quiet admiration, the kind that made my stomach flutter a little.
"Yeah, that makes sense," he said after a pause, his tone thoughtful, as though he were weighing my words carefully. "I guess love does take time, but I like how you still let yourself believe in the possibility of it... even if it's not all fireworks and fairy tales."
There was a brief moment where his eyes lingered on mine, and I almost felt like he was seeing through me in a way that made my chest tighten. He gave a small, almost imperceptible smile, like he was seeing something I didn't fully realize was there, something that felt more real than I was letting on.
"Love's complicated," he continued with a shrug, "but I think, in the end, it's those small things that matter most. The little moments, you know?"
His words were a quiet reassurance, a reminder that even though we may not be jumping into something instant, what we had was still meaningful. The air around us felt a little heavier, like his gaze was lingering on me for just a second longer than it needed to. But then, as if breaking a spell, he looked away and smiled at the group, shifting the focus back to the game.
My heart was still hammering a bit, not quite sure how to react to his words, but before I could settle into my thoughts, Nancy jumped in, her voice loud and exaggerated as she clapped her hands.
"Alright, alright! Enough with the love talk, we're not here to write a romance novel!" she said, giving a dramatic eye roll. "Let's get back to the real questions."
The group erupted into laughter, and just like that, the air shifted from quiet contemplation to playful chaos.
"Yeah, love at first sight is all well and good," Hunter chimed in, "But what's the wildest thing you've ever texted someone or that someone has texted you?"
I looked around at the group whose eyebrows were raised, while Justin had a familiar smirk because he knew it involved him. I stalled for a second shrugging my shoulders. "I don't send risky text messages and I don't receive them." I narrowed my eyes at Hunter and smiled tightly.
"Nah I don't believe it, that smile says innocent but those eyes say something else. Let's hear it!" Jacob chimed in, laughing as he spoke. My eyes flicked to Erik and then to Justin, I looked away in the same instance.
I rolled my eyes playfully and threw my hands up. " Believe what you want but I'm telling you, my phone is as clean as a whistle!"
"I just don't believe you, August! Hmm. Let's see it then!" Nancy now joined in with a raised eyebrow laughing. I hadn't deleted any messages between Justin and I. There was no way I was going to risk it.
"I've sent a total of two texts that could be considered risky my entire life. I swear!" I lied but it wasn't like I was about to show them my phone filled with back and forth messages between Justin and I. And maybe some pictures... but I was hoping I played it off well enough.
Hunter narrowed his eyes at me once more but relented and accepted my answer.
"I got another one for you," Hannah leaned forward in her seat. She had already asked a question but no one gave her push back. Her eyes were full of mischief but her smile was sickly sweet like usual. "Who in this room would you think is best in bed?" She raised an eyebrow, a quiet challenge, like she wanted me to say Justin.
I hesitated for a second, she was definitely baiting me, but I wasn't going to take it or even hesitate much longer. A wide smirk spread across my face. "Oh that's easy, Marshall I mean no disrespect but it's obviously Dani."
Marshall nodded in agreement and Dani stood up and struck a pose, reveling in all the attention. She was my safe answer. I looked over at Erik first, his smile gave nothing away but the look on Justin's face, like deep down he knew it was him. The smirk on his face stayed in place. Hannah looked over at him and then fixed her eyes at me but by the time she reached me I was looking at Mallory.
I stood up, "are we good? Can I go sit down? I feel like I got pressured the hardest!" Before anyone could answer I walked over to Erik to trade spots with me. It was his turn in the hot seat and I think I'm more anxious now than before.
Erik leaned back in his seat, resting an arm over his knee, he smirked at the group. "Alright, let's hear 'em."
Nancy wasted no time, her grin practically devious. "Biggest turn-on?"
Erik chuckled, completely unfazed. "A girl who knows exactly what she wants and isn't afraid to say it."
I tilted my head slightly. That wasn't exactly surprising, but it still caught me off guard. He liked confidence. Directness. I thought back to every moment I'd been hesitant with him. Was that something he noticed?
Dani hummed, eyes sharp with interest. "Good answer. Okay, what's the wildest place you've ever hooked up?"
He tilted his head like he was debating how much to reveal. "A dressing room. In, uh a pretty expensive store."
A dressing room.
In a luxury store.
I blinked, trying to process Erik's answer as the group erupted around us. Nancy wheezed out a laugh, Mallory dramatically gasped like he'd just insulted her personally, and Jacob gave an impressed nod like Erik had just won some sort of award.
"A dressing room?" Mallory scoffed, pressing a hand to her chest. "Not my sacred shopping spaces."
Erik just shrugged, looking unbothered as he took a sip of his drink. "What can I say? It was a nice store."
I sat there, still turning it over in my head. A dressing room.
I hadn't expected that.
I mean, Erik was smooth, sure. Confident in that quiet, effortless way. But this? The same guy who opened doors for me, who texted me good morning every single morning, who carried my bag everywhere without me even asking—this Erik had been hooking up in dressing rooms?
It shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. It's not like I hadn't seen the attention he got, the way women looked at him. I wasn't naive. And yet, something about it felt… unexpected.
Not that I had any room to judge. Not really. Not with what I've been doing these last couple of days, heck even earlier in the day.
I bit the inside of my cheek, ignoring the way my face felt a little too warm.
Dani shook her head. "That's definitely risky. Alright, have you ever been caught in the act?"
Erik laughed. "Not fully, but there was a close call. The door got opened, and I had to, uh, think fast."
Justin smirked. "What does 'think fast' mean?"
Erik exhaled through his nose, still grinning. "Let's just say I had to make myself look… casual. Not sure it worked."
More laughter, but I was too stuck on the image forming in my head. Erik scrambling to act normal. Erik with someone else. Erik being caught. It was a strange feeling—one I wasn't sure I liked.
Hannah, who had been watching him with something close to admiration, leaned in. A smirk plastered on her face. "Have you ever had a threesome?"
The group collectively "ooh'd" at that one, all eyes locking onto Erik.
He let the question linger before answering smoothly, "Yes."
I blinked.
Dani gasped. "And you're just gonna say that so casually?"
He shrugged. "She asked, I answered."
I took a sip of my drink, hoping no one could see the way my grip had tightened slightly. Was I naïve for not expecting that? He wasn't some innocent guy, I knew that. But for some reason, hearing him say it made me realize I had no idea just how much I didn't know. Not to mention at this point him and Justin had both had threesomes. I definitely feel…inferior.
Nancy grinned. "Would you do it again?"
Erik's smirk deepened. "Depends on the company."
I exhaled through my nose. Was he flirting? Did that answer mean anything? He looked over at me for a beat before looking back at Hannah.
Mallory rolled her eyes dramatically. "Okay, next question before this turns into something else."
Allie cleared her throat to capture his attention and she suddenly smirked. "What's one thing you've always wanted to try but haven't yet?"
Erik tapped a finger against his knee, considering. "Something where control is… taken away."
My stomach dipped
The way he said it, almost calculated, sent a slow curl of heat down my spine. What the hell did that even mean? And more importantly, why did the thought of Erik, calm, steady Erik, giving up control make something stir inside me?
The group let the answer sit, some looking intrigued, some looking like they wanted to press for more details. But no one did.
And then Justin, who had been quiet for a few moments, finally spoke up. His tone was light, but there was something sharp beneath it. "What's the best sex you've ever had?"
The room went dead silent for a beat before the reactions exploded.
I kept my face still, but my heart was pounding.
I caught the way Erik's eyes flicked toward me. So fast I almost missed it, but then he laughed and shook his head. "That's classified."
Groans of protest filled the air, but Erik just grinned. "Some things are better left a mystery. So I'll gladly use my skip."
I exhaled, gripping my drink a little tighter. Because for a second, just a second, I had wondered if I was about to hear an answer I wasn't ready for. Suddenly I didn't feel so confident with the little experience I had. And that made me wonder how badly he wanted more from me.
Marshall, who once again stayed quiet, cleared his throat, he wanted in on the questioning. "If you had to describe your type in three words, what would they be?"
Erik leaned back on his chair, like he was pondering the question Marshall just asked. Then after letting the silence linger just a beat too long, he leaned forward.
"Alright," he said finally. "Driven." He counted it off on his fingers. "Unpredictable." Another finger. And then, after a beat, his smirk softened just slightly. "Loyal."
My heart stuttered at the last one. I had been blindly loyal all my life, almost to a fault. And now that I had some freedom I felt like I was anything but loyal. Half the time I'm thinking about Erik and the other half I'm thinking about the next thing I want Justin to do to me. That's not loyalty.
Nancy hummed, tilting her head. "Alright, but what about physically? What's your type in three words?"
I rolled my eyes. Of course we were doing this.
Erik leaned back, looking completely at ease. "Dark hair. Long legs. And—" the corner of his mouth lifted, "—a good stare."
The group reacted immediately. Mallory let out a dramatic, "Oh?" while Jacob muttered, "A stare?" like Erik had just admitted to some niche, highly specific fixation.
Justin scoffed. "What does 'a good stare' even mean?"
Erik just shrugged. "You know it when you see it."
And just like that, my pulse skipped.
I knew. I knew exactly what he meant.
Because Erik had told me.
Not in so many words, but in the way his eyes lingered, in the way he kissed me last night, in the way he'd said it plainly, I like you, August.
And now he was sitting there, answering this question, throwing it out into the air like it was nothing. Like it was easy.
My fingers curled around my drink, and I suddenly wished I'd made something stronger.
Nancy, grinning like she'd just been handed the greatest gossip of her life, leaned in. "And have you ever met someone who checks all three boxes?"
I knew that was coming, but it still made my stomach flip.
Erik didn't even pretend to consider it. His smirk barely wavered. "Maybe."
Mallory groaned, shoving his shoulder. "You're so annoying."
I exhaled slowly, trying to keep my face neutral, but my skin felt too warm. Because now it was just out there, hanging in the air between us. And Erik? He knew exactly what he was doing.
I didn't look at him. I refused to look at him.
Because if I did, I'd have to deal with the fact that I wanted to smile. That I liked hearing it. That I liked knowing.
And that? That was dangerous. Even more dangerous than Justin's reaction to Erik's type.
Out of the corner of my eye, Justin shifted.
It was small, barely anything, a slight flex of his fingers around his drink, a slow, deliberate sip. But I'd spent enough time around him to catch it.
To know that meant something. To know he didn't like it.
And maybe I should ignore it. Maybe I should pretend I don't see the way he reacts…the way his smirk comes just a beat too late, like he has to force himself to wear it.
But I do see it.
And when he finally speaks, when that damn smirk settles a little too lazily on his face, his voice too light, it lands exactly how I expect.
"Huh. Wonder who that could be."
It's teasing on the outside. Pointed underneath. Justin isn't just reacting to what Erik said. He's reacting to who Erik's talking about. And the part that really throws me?
I like that he cares.
And the second that realization settles, so does something heavier. Because I shouldn't.
Not when Erik was sitting there, saying all of that, about me. Not when Erik was the one who made it easy, who made it clear, who wasn't playing some silent, unreadable game.
I should be happy about that. I should be focusing on the way Erik's voice had gone a little softer when he said loyal. The way he didn't hesitate before saying maybe. The way he had looked at me like there was no mystery at all, no uncertainty about who he was describing.
Instead, I was sitting here, watching Justin pretend to be unaffected and feeling something about it.
And that makes me feel guilty.
Because Justin and I, well we're not that. He's not mine to react to me, and I'm not his to like it.
And yet, I do. And I don't know what to do with that. So I shove it down before it can turn into something else. Before I can let myself linger on what it might mean.
Instead, I take a sip of my drink, roll my eyes at him because that's what I'm supposed to do.
Finally, I allowed myself to look at Erik, who was already looking at me, and I couldn't resist my smile much longer.
He stood up, like gravity pulled him to me, and switched seats with Jacob, whose turn it was to be on the hot seat. I still couldn't wrap my head around how little I actually knew about him. I didn't expect him to have had a threesome. I didn't expect him to have had sex in a dressing room. It made me wonder how much more I didn't know about him.
His hand extended toward me. I glanced at it, hesitated for a split second because there was still a tightness in my chest, something I didn't quite know how to push away, before I let myself intertwine my hand with his.
He stood up slightly, scooting his chair closer to mine, close enough for our thighs to touch.
And I let him.
Because Erik wasn't making this complicated. And maybe, for once, I needed something that wasn't.
The game moved on, revealing some embarrassing details about Jacob's past, how in love he is with Allie and exactly what gets him going. Much more info was learned about everyone than I ever needed to know.