I shake my head tentatively. It can't be. I barely even remember him.
The demon queen must be playing some prank on me. She must be doing this to tear us apart...to spoil our plans.
I feel Arya's cool hand rest on my stiff shoulder. I shrug it off.
But...the writing feels so real. The handwriting sparks a memory that I had long buried. After Yumi died, I used to read the love letters they had exchanged while he had been away at the Imperial Army.
I had read the letters so many times because I wanted to know more about my heroic brother that never lived long enough for me to know him.
I would never mistake his careless scrawl. How could the demon queen know how to imitate his handwriting?
Could it be true? Is he alive? What do I do about it if he is?
I look at the woman standing beside me. The untrusting, angry look is gone from her eyes. She is looking at me tenderly, like she knows exactly how I feel.
How would she know? She never had a family.
I turn on my heels and walk to the door. At the door, I stop and look over my shoulder.
"If there's any trace of my brother left, I'm going to find him and save him".
I walk away.
"Let him go". I hear my mentor say to her.
I half expected her to follow me, but as I listen, all I hear is the echo of my own footsteps.
Where do I even begin? In all my time here, I've never come across a demon ruler called Claw. Arya had mentionned that she had seen all the demon rulers. Had she seen Claw?
Even if I wanted to go back and ask her, my pride won't let me. I've already turned my back on her. Maybe, I've even hurt her - though I'm not sure that's possible.
I'm going to figure this out on my own. That's why I work alone. I'm going to fight him if it comes down to a battle. No one knows that I have attained the highest rank. I am confident enough to go one on one with a demon ruler. It is a closely guarded secret. I've spent my existence training for a day like this, I just didn't expect my enemy to be my own long lost brother.
But lately, I've been feeling less confident about my abilities. I often wonder if it is just a state of mind, or probably stress and exhaustion weighing down on me.
I need to find Fang. There's no guarantee that she would give me the answers I seek, but, it is worth a try.
I enter my room and close the door.
I walk to the edge of the bed and start pulling off my robe. I sit on the bed, barechested, and wait.
After waiting and coming to the conclusion that she won't be coming, she appears before me.
"Poor Xian Xian". She whispers and carresses my cheek.
She runs her hand over my lean torso and gasps in delight.
"Have you finally decided to give into my desires? Do you know how long I've wanted you? Just say the words, and I'll bind your body and soul to mine". She purrs into my ear as her hands skim over the rigid muscles of my back.
"Only for the right price".
Her fingers cease their exploration and she fixes her gaze on mine.
"Name your price".
"I want to see Claw. I want to talk to him".
She rolls her eyes as she mulls my request over in her head.
"That's a very difficult request you are asking of me. Claw hates to come to this place, and he's not the being you think he is." She leans closer to whisper, " Sometimes, I'm afraid of him. He's loyal to a fault, but he is powerful enough to kill me".
"And why are you telling me?"
"For your own good. He hates the entire continent, including you. There's no point in trying to conjure up emotions that no longer exist".
"You did this to him!"
"There, there, sweet boy. He was already dying. I gave him another chance at life, you see".
"No, I don't. You could have let him die the death of a hero - a death he deserved. Yet, you took that from him".
"And what do you think you can offer him, dear?"
I remain silent.
She circles my right breast with her thumb. The sleeves of her robe is tickling my skin.
"Are you sure you don't want something else? I can offer you a lot". She says in a very enticing voice.
"Either that or my freedom".
"What about the girl?"
"I don't care about anyone but myself".
"That's good, because I was beginning to fear a romantic relationship between the two of you".
"What is it going to be?" I ask in a firm voice.
She covers her mouth with the sleeve of her red robe and squints her eyes shut.
"You are putting me on a pedestal, my love. I can't do any of those things for you".
I smirk.
"Then, you don't want me as badly as you claim you do". I say quietly, with the kind of calmness I know would drive her to insanity.
She caresses my jaw, her black nails digging into my skin.
"You know I want you. I could just force you to submit to my will".
"If that were possible, you would have done it since, like you did to Rames. But, you and I know that my Will is too strong for you to bend or manipulate. We can only do this the old fashion way, you can't eat you cake and have it, Fang. Trade by barter, what will it be?"
She bites her pale lower lip.
"I do want you. I want to do so many things to you. But, as promiscuous as I am, I have my limits".
"One of your limits is Arya, right?"
Her eyes become very round.
"What about her?"
"She was your slave, wasn't she?"
"Was? She still is my slave".
"Not for long. I can decide to make love to her, and force you to watch from your glassball".
She laughs.
"You know how to make a woman wriggle in her own skin. But, you're not that ruthless".
I scoff.
"I only look out for number one - myself".