The three years following the hiking trip were uneventful by the standards of royalty daily life though it marked a quiet awakening inside of me.
The bond with my father was rather tentative yet meaningful and their time together grew a seed of determination inside of me. My father's constant expedition to the Middle Isles left me feeling isolated.
I was thirteen years old now, I found myself entering the grand halls of the prestigious Sanguinarian Battle Academy. A well-known school throughout the nation that's known for shaping the future of the soldiers of the kingdom. However, the academy was infamous to the students for its harsh and brutal social hierarchy. Noblemen dominated the top echelons, while the common folk and peasants fought tooth and nail to prove themselves worthy.
When I had first set foot in the battle class under the name of " Lorien Drago" The ridicule began to dissolve almost immediately.
"A Weakling like you thinks you can last a day here?"
one of the class's most arrogant students had sneered at me on my first day, shoving me aside as they entered the training hall.
The class was odd, a mix of nobles and talented common folk.
It was designed to prepare the elite for covert military operations.
Though the class was officially portrayed as a prestigious program to boost Sanguinaria's defenses, the truth of the battle class was much darker than established.
Each student was being trained to become a secret agent capable of infiltrating inside Vertasia, while also collecting information and intelligence, and if deemed necessary, sabotaging the enemies from the inside.
"Who's that runt?" asked one of the boys who was outstandingly tall and muscular and was lying leaning back against his cheek with a sharp smirk, following the remark was the classroom echoing with laughter.
I didn't say anything, I kept my head down as I took the last empty seat near the edge of the classroom.
" Hey, are you mute or something? Why didn't you defend yourself or say anything."
another voice chimed in this time soft-spoken, it was a girl with a rather sharp tongue and piercing green eyes.
"You are aware this isn't a babysitting service right?"
I looked up briefly, my eyes meeting hers, my mouth refusing to speak.
"Leave him alone" Alaric, the group's leader has spoken out cold from the back of the classroom." Don't you guys feel bad already? After all, he won't even last a week."
I clenched my fists underneath my desk, though kept my composure.
A week later the class's first major test came in the form of some combat training.
Students were paired off in a sparring arena, with points awarded to them for their strategic thinking and skills.
When my name was called I stepped into the ring opposite of Cassius, the bold swordsmen.
Cassius had grinned as he twirled his mock blade. " Let's make this quick, I don't want this poor wooden garnish to be ruined by your blood."
I didn't respond.
I held my wooden sword awkwardly, my stance unrefined.
The other students laughed at me.
The Teacher's whistle blew, and Cassius sprung towards me, I sidestepped clumsily, barely able to avoid him,
but Cassius's blade struck my shoulder,
sending me tumbling onto the floor.
"Pathetic," Cassius spat on the ground barely inches away from my cheek.
He raised his blade getting ready for another strike.
I managed to roll away, grabbing a handful of sand as I scrambled onto my feet.
When Cassius came at me again, I threw the Sand into his eyes and cunningly moved behind him,
I locked his arms and twisted it with such force that even I was astonished by how I was able to grapple such a goliath.
My arms were locked onto his neck I applied a great force while I concentrated all of my weight onto his neck, and the room went silent.
" ENOUGH!" Shouted our teacher.
I released Cassius, who was passed out on the floor with his arm still clutching his mock wooden blade,
" Cheap tricks won't save you in a real fight!" exclaimed another spectating classmate." I locked onto him and exclaimed. "They might," my voice quiet but firm.
Weeks afterward, we were sent on another wilderness adventure survival mission. I stood at the edge of the forest, the training instructor was stern with only one rule,
" You'll survive this mission with nothing but the clothes on your back. No weapons, No food, No supplies. Your only task is to survive, by any means necessary. This is not a game. Those who fail will not graduate, and to those who may succeed they will perish eventually."
A helicopter roared above us, My classmates and I scattered across the dense unforgiving terrain. I quickly teamed up with four other students, two of which included Julius, my once former bully turned rival, and Evelyn, who was our group's healer. For weeks we worked together foraging for food and even escaping from enemy patrols. One night we were all surrounding a campfire, and Evelyn attempted to strike up a conversation.
"You're quiet", she said while offering me a stick of roasted rabbit.
" I don't have much to say" I replied while taking the kebab from her hands without looking at her.
" You know, You're smarter than you let on, I've seen the plans you've come up with. Truth be told I don't think you belong here with the rest of us at all, we're all just a bundle of idiots compared to you."
I glanced at her, I was unsure whether to take it as a compliment or if it was an attack directed towards me.
"I'm here, aren't I?"
Our Fragile alliance was shattered when one night we encountered a beast, It was this massive bear-like creature that roared at us as it charged towards us.
" RUN!" Julius shouted, grasping Evelyn and sprinting in the opposite direction.
" Wait! What about Drago" she cried while looking back at me.
" He's dead weight, he'll only slow us down!" Julius snapped.
I was left alone, I tried to hold off the beast with a makeshift spear our group had crafted one day when we came across spare metal.
The beast swiped its claws at me, its razor-sharp claws tearing across my face and leaving a deep gash over my right eye. I screamed and cried in pain, remarkably I managed to escape into the dense undergrowth.
For the first few days after I managed to escape,
I was filled with rage and pain, every step I took sent a sharp agonizing pain throughout my body.
The gash above my right eye gashed out blood and pulsed as if it were a heartbeat.
I pressed my hand onto my face, sticky with half-dried blood, I didn't mind. I could barely see with my left eye with the amount of blood I smeared while attempting to close my wound.
The memory of their faces was forever carved into my mind, their betrayal, their cowardness when the beast arrived, and their choice, they decided to leave me behind as if I was nothing.
" Those damn cowards!", I growled to myself, the world was cutting through the quiet atmosphere, my voice was hollow, and it felt as if the trees themselves were laughing at me for my naivety.
How could I have ever trusted them? I clenched my fist, my nails dug into my palms until they left crescent-shaped marks on my skin. I wanted to Hunt them down and make them suffer for what they did to me.
But I'm weak. Too weak to ever fight them, and too weak to live. Those thoughts had sliced right through me painfully more so than the beast's claws. Weakness was the one thing I'd swore I'd never define myself.
This Rage fueled me to keep moving, I moved throughout the underbrush terrain with no plan, no motive, and no direction, just a thirst to survive and keep moving. Anger doesn't fuel your stomach or stop your body from failing.
On the fourth day, I found myself leaning over slumped against a tree, the world spun around me as my stomach clawed at me from the insides. My mouth was dry and my throat burnt as if I had swallowed fire.
I ripped a handful of berries off a bush I had stumbled upon, I made the foolish mistake of stuffing them into my mouth without even thinking about what I just ate. Those berries were bitter and sour enough to make me gag, but I didn't care.
It wasn't until about an hour later that I realized I had made a mistake. I spent the rest of the night curled alongside the dirt, even my own body betrayed me as I kept vomiting until nothing but my stomach acid was left.
"Is this it?, Is this how I die.". I don't know when the hallucinations started but they snuck into my mind like shadows, eerie and malevolent.
At first, it was just auditory hallucinations, just faint whispers that I couldn't quite make out.
Then it became clear. My Mother's voice was sharp and biting and it filled the silence in the room.
" You were always such a burden to take care of," she spat out, her words cut deeper than the wound on my face.
"Why do you think I left you alone in that wooden canoe."
'No!" I muttered, I shook my head in agony, ¨You can't be real."
"Pathetic.", she snickered, " You'll never be anything more than a weak scared child I threw away like garbage."
I Pressed the palms of my hands on my ears, trying to silence her voice, but it didn't work. Her voice was inside of me,
eating at me.
I screamed until it felt as if my throat was tearing itself apart.