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I finished the script in the early morning hours and dogged up all of the In-N-Out food that eventually fell onto my crusty laptop.
I had trouble sleeping on the new mattress—it felt too soft, as if I were a dead body in a casket—and in my dream, I had all of my friends and family in Villa Albergoni. But out of nowhere, the villa caught fire, and we were forced to flee. Somehow, I ran alone toward the fields, and after some time, out of breath, I looked around and realized I was lost.
The dream ended there, and I woke up covered in sweat. I grabbed my phone. 12:22 PM. I looked at my notifications and opened Twitter. It was mostly about the election, but when I saw my name, I scrolled down:
Trending: Ryan Stone New Estate in Beverly Hills (200 comments)
I was surprised to see people in the comments congratulating me, but of course, there were a few saying that my parents, who were some high-level producers—they probably did not even know what a producer was—had bought the house for me. They also said that I was fenced in with a hundred security guards, had a private chef, and had bought a Rolls-Royce.
But I was more shocked to see that the cheating controversy had completely died down. In fact, my profile had skyrocketed to 1.5 million followers, and my latest tweet about Looper's success had 75,000 likes.
There was news surrounding Call Me By Your Name and that it would premiere at the Capri Hollywood International Film Festival in early December, ahead of the Academy Awards season. Sony Pictures had high hopes for the film to get some nominations, especially Best Screenplay.
The publicity for the film had increased due to Andrew's relationship and mine due to speculation. CMBYN was one of the most anticipated movies set to release in December, followed by The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, Django Unchained, and Les Misérables. Mark wanted me to do Conan tonight and reassured me that there would only be a brief question about the scandal.
Mark wrote up a response: If I have caused great distress towards Emma I apologize. After a tough breakup, there are always feelings of anger and misinformation. I wish nothing but the best for her and I know she's a great actress so she will be fine.
Flash a smile toward the camera, move on, and talk about my next project. TMZ, People Magazine, and Hollywoodwire would say that I was mature for my age and that there were no correct sides. People would move on, and next week's issue would be about how Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson reconciled to promote the final Twilight movie. Or it would be about 7 Ways to Cook A Steak Manly Enough for the Wolf Pack: How to Grill Red Meat That Will Make Your Man Howl for More!
The driver was ready outside, and I walked toward the black Escalade. For a moment, I turned around. Now, seeing the mansion in bright daylight, I was shocked to see how big it actually was. The design looked like Tony Stark's mansion in Iron Man—minus the ocean view—and felt so far removed from Los Feliz that I began to wonder if I had dreamed up my old apartment. It felt like I was the narrator in Fight Club and that my secondary personality was a washed-up actor living in Los Feliz who died from a panic attack.
I sat in the back seat, and as the car went toward the gate, I looked back at the house in such complete wonder that I forgot Rebecca was in the car.
She tapped my shoulder. "Hello"
"Oh, sorry"
"I have been trying to reach you for the longest time. I thought Mark was going to kill me"
"Me too"
"And I told Mark that this was a good thing. There's no such thing as bad publicity, except no publicity"
I sensed a tumor growing inside my brain and asked how long the ride was.
"45 minutes, sir"
I leaned back in the seat and looked up toward the roof.
"I totally feel so bad for Emma. Did you hear she was receiving some hate comments. Like can't even imagine"
I closed my eyes, and she began to talk about her style. "Did you buy her the Celine Luggage Tote, like that's the holy grail right now"
I nodded my head.
"Really? Wait at that party we went to at Paris Hilton's place did you sleep with some model. What was her—"
"Rebecca. I'm going to take a nap, wake me when we reach the studio"
"Sure"
I dozed off after Rebecca opened her phone and went on Tumblr, pinning images under the board "Wedding for the Bitches."
We reached Warner Bros. Studios, and I woke up to a tap on my shoulder as we drove past a tall metal gate. The driver stopped near Stage 15.
Rebecca said, "Did you memorize what Mark wrote?"
"Yes"
"I saw your last Conan interview. It was really funny."
"I paid him to laugh at my jokes"
"Like how much?"
"$20,000"
She gasped. "I feel like I should get a raise then"
The moment she finished her sentence, a production assistant came toward the car, so we both got out.
She said, "So nice to have you again. Conan really liked the last interview"
"Thank you"
Inside Stage 15, everything became darker and louder. PAs hurried past us with headsets, and the audience was already seated. A makeup artist powdered my forehead and fixed a loose strand of hair before attaching a microphone beneath my jacket.
I saw Kristen Stewart pacing around the studio. She kept running her hands through her red-dyed hair.
I approached her. "Hello. Nice to meet you"
"Hello. Umm, Kristen"
"I know you. You're all over the magazines"
She smiled. "And I know you too. You're all over the magazines too"
I said, "Yeah all over the c-list, 10 ways Kim is fixing her image before divorce trial newspapers."
She responded, "I'm so fucking nervous. I'm an actor but can't handle the audience like I'm some chef and hate food"
"Don't worry. Be like Gordon Ramsay and just don't give a fuck"
"Ha. Yeah. I think it's my time"
"Good luck"
I stayed near the monitor with Rebecca and watched Kristen take her seat beside Conan.
Conan said, "You've been with Twilight for four and half years and now you're done. What now, do you know?"
She said, "Not really. I'm in such a desperate search for a job, actually. Something that I really liked" She put her right hand over her arm and looked to the side.
Conan said, "Well would you like to be an intern at the show?"
The audience laughed. But I was already somewhere else, picturing what I would say. When Kristen's interview ended, Conan stood and shook her hand. She walked past us on her way backstage, and we exchanged a quick glance before she gave me a small thumbs-up.
The floor manager pointed toward the stage. "Ryan, you're next"
"Today, we have the star of Looper and mortal enemy of Jordan Schlansky. His next film premieres this December with co-star Andrew Garfield. Everyone, please welcome Ryan Stone!" Conan lunged out of the chair, and there was loud applause.
I came out and was surprised by the overwhelming reception. Conan shook my hand and pulled me into a quick hug before guiding me toward the sofa.
The set looked exactly the same as before: the blue sofa sat beneath the lights, behind Conan's desk was a painted nighttime view of the California coast, and a large full moon glowed above the horizon.
"Ryan Stone," Conan said as I sat down. "Welcome back"
"A pleasure"
"To refresh everyone's memory Ryan was here a couple months ago to promote Looper"
There was applause, and I could not help but smile. Conan smirked. "See and you told me backstage you thought the movie was going to flop"
I put my finger to my mouth and tried to grab Conan, who leaned back. There was a roar of laughter, and Conan continued, "You were with Zachary Quinto and you talked about filming your new movie in Italy. How was that?"
"Amazing. I mean, unfortunately, Zach wasn't there but it was bliss"
"Thank god. Imagine if Spock was there," Conan put on a high-pitched voice, "Highly illogical this set is. This can't be real, captain"
I tried to imitate him too. "Change is the essential process of all existence, captain. Ryan, are you cheating on me with Andrew Garfield?"
The audience was in stitches. Conan replied, "Are you? How was working with Spider-Man?"
"Great. Unforgettable experience. What a great co-star, but I don't know how you do this show every day with people like Jordan?"
Conan smiled. "You would do anything for 12 million dollars a year"
I violently shook my head. "I play Ant-Man for 12 million dollars"
The studio eventually felt warmer and more open, as if a car's sunroof had slid back to let the sky in. I could finally see the audience's genuine laughter, and I leaned back in the chair while Conan asked, "I read recently that—"
"You read?"
Conan pressed his index finger up the bridge of his nose. "Actually, I went to Harvard so, come on"
"My bad"
The audience and Conan chuckled.
"You already finished another movie too. God, man, do you know what a break is?"
"Do you know how to tell a joke?"
The audience roared, and Conan, again, put his hands up.
Conan continued, "I'm curious is there a director you enjoy working with, what separates them"
"I just worked with this new director Damien Chazelle. And man, a director who has a clear vision, and fortunately all of the directors I worked with had an end destination it removes all of the stress and I can do my job"
"Yes. And you're accepting all of these indie movies too, with new directors. No Spider-Man offers?"
"I wish. I mean it's not really a conscious choice. I mean you don't think when you put on a tie like that?" I pointed to his bright red tie that had purple stripes on it.
"It's not even that bad, don't laugh at his dumb joke" Conan pointed to the audience.
"Maybe next time, we can swap"
The audience clapped in unison.
"Maybe." Conan looked at the time left. "You're an incredible actor and love the business. How do you deal with the criticism and fallout of a relationship?"
I inhaled and exhaled. I looked around at all the eyes on me, then looked straight into the camera.
"For that. I am so sorry for the people that I have hurt and let down. And in the case of Emma, she's dealt with a lot"
A single tear came out of my eye, and I couldn't help but think of when J.K.—playing Fletcher—said, "Oh my dear God. Are you one of those single-tear people? Do I look like a double fucking rainbow to you?"
I continued, remembering the note. "After a tough breakup, there are always feelings of anger and misinformation. I wish nothing but the best for her and I know she's a great actress so she will be fine"
Conan looked at the audience, who were obviously moved. "Don't worry when I was 20 I hated myself and now look—"
I leaned back on the blue sofa and looked straight toward him. "I can see why you hated yourself"
Conan laughed. "And that's all we have." Conan held up a picture of the poster for Call Me By Your Name. "Make sure to watch CMBYN in theatres next month. Everyone, Ryan Stone!"
The audience stood up, and the applause echoed across the whole studio. For a second, I thought they were trying to rush the stage to attack me, but then I realized they were doing the opposite.
I smiled and said, "Thank you so much!"
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