I reach out towards the warmth despite the fact that I am freezing beyond my endurance; the harsh weather frosts my frail body. My feet are bare–wounded and scarred. I fight through blankets upon blankets of snow, attempting to outrun that man, that tyrant of a man. My own father.
It's below zero, blood trickles out through my nose, the amount of blood that is pouring out is unmanageable. Blood seeps inside my mouth, the taste is repulsive. I cannot even begin to fathom what is occurring to me at this precise instant and why my father would despise me to the point of being willing to murder me, his one and only child. I wipe the blood away from my face with the back of my palm, tainting my once well-taken care of hand. The metallic scent fills my nostrils, a sickening stench defiling a once ordinary evening. As my blood continues to flow out I start to feel an excessive amount of pressure within my head. I begin to start feeling faint. Even though I am experiencing a significant amount of suffering, I must not stop, I must survive him. I scramble through the boundless amount of snow, it's as if it will never end. My breath comes out in husks, I hold my chest severely tight. The pain is overwhelming my body;the air is harsh and without mercy for me. It's seemingly impossible to breathe. Although the pain within my lungs is immense, I have no time to stop and regain my composure.
After the endless amount of hours of relentlessly running through the snow, I seem to have finally succeeded and lost sight of him. I do not understand his sudden change of heart. I cannot even begin to grasp the reason of why he would try to execute his daughter, it is entirely unfair. I have always known from the very beginning that my father wasn't necessarily fond of me, he made that abundantly clear. Even so, all I ached for in life was for my father to love and adore me again like he once had done. He never once wanted me near him no matter how much I had tried to ease his grief. For him to go as far as to try to end my life is completely different from the treatment he always has given to me, he must be demented to believe he can get away with such a crime. What could have imposed him to do such a despicable act. I can not comprehend why he would detest me so incredibly much to attempt to make me permanently disappear. He's a monster, he must be one. There is no other plausible reason he would be so merciless to his own child. I stagger around, my feet frost-bitten and my body filled with complete agony. I wander with no set destination, a barren area with no escape. My pace is slow and off-balanced, I seem to have twisted my ankle whilst seeking safety. Every step I take is almost as if I am stepping in glass instead of snow. Whilst examining the area I am stuck in I discover a tree in the distance. An Evergreen tree, snow covering it to the point of blending in. It appears to be the only tree within miles. I limp with all the might I can, approaching it with caution. I grab onto the tree for stability, it towers above me as if it were a beacon of hope. I peek my head behind it, checking for any sight of my feigned father. I capture not even a single glimpse of him. I am finally some-what safe for now. I slowly and painfully inch myself behind the tree and conceal myself. I lay my back against the firm and rough tree, sliding down into the snow. The pain within my body feels torturous. The Evergreen tree is covered almost entirely with thick dense snow, freezing my body even more than it already was. My entire body is numb with agony. As I lay my weakened body against the tree, blood slowly drips from my feet, corrupting the once pure snow white and staining it red. I put my knees to my chest, cradling myself. I start to hold my immensely frozen hands against my face, attempting to warm myself up in this distasteful weather. I can not produce any warmth. My hands are frigid from the severe weather I must endure, they are entirely numb to the point of extreme pain. It is unbearable. I begin to hold my breath, praying to wake up from this, this, preposterous nightmare… This cannot be reality, it mustn't. It has to be some sort of nightmare, this cannot be my true actuality. If this is a dream my subconscious must be above cruelness.
As soon as I begin to eventually start feeling safe, I hear trudging slowly approaching me and the crunch of the snow echoing within the area. Shattering the comfort of silence. I struggle to pull myself back upon my feet, trying to the best of my abilities to suppress the pain I feel. I run as much as I physically can, overexerting the little energy I have left. I'm moving as fast as my damaged and bloodied body will allow me to do. I must escape, no matter if I have to push myself way beyond my endurance. My body can barely sink down into the snow from the many years of neglect I have experienced from my father.
Why must I allow him to attack me and abandon me as he always has done, what makes him unique to humanity to commit such a despicable act upon me? Why should I allow this wretched man not only to continue to mistreat me but to go as far as to murder me. He is pathetic to try and take his resentment out on me. Pathetic. I can not even begin to comprehend why I am receiving this treatment after everything I have done. I have been nothing but the perfect daughter. Yet he has decided to end my life and discard my lifeless body to depose completely alone. I will not accept this as my end. When he forcefully demanded that I become betrothed to a man who I have never once met, I did not fight it, I accepted his word gracefully. As if his word was law. I uttered not even a single word of complaint, I even signed the certificate as he instructed me to do. I did not object to the proposal even though it met certain death to me, he was ordering me to be married to a commander knight of the enemy country to ours. I decided it was best to obey him as I always have done. To be his perfect daughter. I accepted my fate to be his wife, I did not allow myself to be saddened, I will do what I do best and follow his word. I have done everything in my power to make my father cherish me, I was the perfect student. I studied all of the books in our massive library, I spent many nights sleeping on desks from pure exhaustion. I had done it all. All of my teachers throughout the years adored me and considered me to be the brightest and most talented student they have ever received. Even with all of the work I have done he never once acknowledged it, he didn't even glance my direction. I was useless. My betrothed and I were to meet today and continue with the marriage proceedings, however my father chose to do something so utterly foolish. He must be psychotic. I was forced to endure being sold off as a product and be shipped to another country to solve this war and he turned around to do such deranged behavior. He wanted the power, what will he gain from removing me from the picture? If he kills me, my country will be thoroughly destroyed. Is that what he wishes? To cause more conflict and to stain the water red? This is absurdity. Hatred for my father fuels me and my soul, I cannot feel anything other than pure spite. My steps are becoming faster, my wrath towards him gets a hold of me. I am completely enraged. Whilst running, I suddenly recall my late mother, the one I have not thought of for many years. It has been awhile since I have been able to think of her so freely. I must have been so focussed on my duties as the archduchess of our castle that I have not had a single ounce of time that I had long forgotten my one and only mother. Our relationship was special compared to most noble families, we were unusually close. Everything I did she was right there by my side helping me along the way. She cherished me like no other has ever done before. My mother was the only one who entered my life who truly did value and care about me. Yet, she is long gone. Not even a remnant left of her, other than the name I carry with me in my daily life. She had granted me the name, "Rosaline Dé Anzferd" which was given to me after my great grandmother. It represents beauty and love. Her endless adoration for me appears in even the name that I was given. It's dreadful being reminded of my mother every day for it is within the name I hold.
Her love for me was constant and unbreakable. Each night, when she laid with me ever so gently, she would grace me with a melody. Never once did she forget to sing. Her voice was pure and as soft as the heavens, lingered within my ears like the hymn of an angel. I strive to remember the song she once had blessed me with but it has drifted too far. It has become a distant tune, one I cannot grasp nor name. The sound of her laugh echoes within my mind but it comes out mute. Though my affection towards my mother remains the same as it always has, my memory is left empty. My mind has betrayed me. I cannot recall the colour of her eyes when the sun shined upon her ever so perfectly or the way her hair had fallen upon her shoulders. She has become nothing but a ghost within my mind, one I cannot reach for. She slips away.
Always beyond my reach, no matter how much I strive to even reminisce a fragment of who she used to be. She drifts throughout my mind like a ghost who is unseen, my efforts continuously falling bountifulless. She will never appear to me like she once had done, she is gone from this planet. Utterly gone. She is nothing but a fleeting memory. She had departed from this world when I was but a child. Though my recollections of her grow dim, there's one thing I truly know for certainty is that virtuous wife and a gentle mother. She did all she could within her power despite all the hardships that laid before her. She did everything she could given the circumstances.
My mother's passing drove my father into madness, twisting him into a man I can barely recognize or perhaps unveiling the cold truth of who he always has been. He grew distant as if his very own heart had withered away, and casted aside every trace of the woman he once called his wife. He became psychotic. His grief consumed him, causing rage to be the very backbone that kept him standing. The fire of wrath within him that has never extinguished, even after all these years. He completely destroyed her chamber, the very room she once had laid with me and whispered of love. He ordered the servants to cast out all of the belongings left of her. In doing so, he completely tethered what little remained to our relationship of father and daughter. Ruining anything that could have been. He burned the remnants of the affection I had towards him in the same fire where he set all of her belongings aflame.
I wept at the servants feet, begging, pleading for anything of hers to cling to, wrapping myself around them desperately. Hoping for even an ounce of sympathy. However, I was kicked aside as though I was nothing but a pest. One sorrowful maid had mercy for me within her heart. Once everyone had emptied out, she handed me something that I could never forget. From the flames she saved one singular treasure, a piece of jewelry. My mother's locket, crafted in gold and embellished with delicate engravings of flowers. The kindness she had shown to me that day will never be forgotten for as long as I live. I held the locket that my mother once wore upon her neck within my hands, clenching it so very tight as I sobbed.
The morning following my mother's death, was the emptiest day I have ever known. My father commanded the gardeners to tear up her beloved greenhouse, leaving no trace that she had ever walked upon this earth. It was as if she had never existed. All that she cherished was discarded, including me. I, her child, was cast aside with the rest. Soon, nothing of her remained, no portraits, no belongings and all memory of her was no longer permitted to live.
I kneeled at the door of his study, pleading for him to even glance at me. Hour after hour, begging for even a shred of the love he once bore towards me to return. Maybe for some miracle to awaken my mother from the dead. That had only stroked his fury, he slammed the door open and looked down upon me, in a way he has never once done. I was dragged away by guards and starved for a week. I could not fathom why he sought to destroy the memory of my mother and not only her but me as well. Was i truly that worthless to him? Or did he desire to erase me because I was born of the love he wishes to deny? Perhaps there was never any love at all and it was all an elaborate play. Maybe he only married her for the power and pleasure he would get and once he gained it, we were no longer needed.
Yet, now when I serve a purpose to him and his ambitions, he chooses to end my life instead. He must be determined to see my ruin, I will not allow this. I will not permit this to be my fate. I must survive, I will resist with all the strength I can muster up. I despise him with every fiber of my soul.
Today was the day I was arranged to meet with my betrothed. Our union was to begin. Instead, he wishes for me to meet my end before my marriage is sealed