1 Piece AU Luffy Charlotte
By: FunahoMisaki
(AN: I own nothing and read last chapter)
Nami's high pitched scream of disbelief and horror woke up the crew as they were heading for her home town. Well it woke up everyone but Luffy and Robin who had already been awake for a while and were enjoying their tea and coffee respectively.
"Oh hey that must be the newspaper." Luffy said having sensed the news coo coming. Nami came storming into the kitchen with the alert and worried boys behind her while Luffy's Den Den Mushi began to go nuts.
"Hello hello. Luffy future king of the pirates here. How can I ruin your day?" Luffy answered, making Robin snort slightly into her coffee at his antics, as he picked up the receiver.
He was answered by rambunctious laughter coming across the receiver.
"Hi Papa Shanks. Call me back when you're sober or can at least talk!" Luffy said more than used to this kind of thing happening and already hanging up.
"So what's got you screaming Nami?" Luffy asked smiling at her while she held up a bounty poster with his face on it, a close up taken of him looking serious while he had his blade in front of him. No sight of his guns and ammo though so it was probably taken somehow during his fight with Mihawk.
"Huh. Sweet I got a pretty decent bounty to start out with." Luffy said grinning while Robins eyes widened at the amount on the poster.
"Now everyone will be after us for your bounty! I've never seen one this high!" Nami complained as she glared at him while crying and she somehow had shark teeth? He wondered how she had done that.
"Well it's lower than most of my families but still at least it's higher than little Anana's! If a four year old had a higher bounty than me I'd be ashamed to call myself a Charlotte!" Luffy said with a small laugh as he looked at the modest 430,000,000 bounty on his head. Pretty low but given he was just getting started it made sense.
Zoro, Sanji, Usopp, and Robin even jaw dropped at hearing him call the bounty low.
"Wonder why Papa Shanks was laughing though? Ah but I guess he was drunk after seeing this and celebrating." Luffy wondered about that and his snail began to ring again.
"Hello. Future King of the Pirates here. How have I or can I piss you off?" Luffy answered the snail again and there was laughter again.
"Nice question there Luffy. Have you seen your bounty and the newspaper?" Smoothie asked and the snail was grinning and there was laughter in the background. Sounded like Papa Shanks had been hanging out in Tottoland when the news came in.
"My navigator just shoved the bounty poster in my face. I know it's a bit low. Sor-" Luffy began but was cut off by a loud snort.
"Luffy that's higher than my first bounty, peroin. And higher than anyone elses in the family for a first bounty." Perospero said sounding disbelieving and amused and making Luffy look relieved at that.
"Have you read the newspaper article to go with the bounty yet?" Katakuri asked leaning in and Luffy wondered if they had been having a tea party to celebrate.
"Not yet! Anything good or important?" Luffy asked because even though he did know how to read and write, and he was writing down his adventure so far, he didn't really like to read more than he had to. Aunty Brie mentioned his brain was made of rubber which made it harder for him to think and read especially for extended amounts of time.
"They don't know you're adopted for one." Katakuri said dryly and Luffy shrugged. Adopted or not he was a Charlotte through and through and no one would ever survive trying to claim otherwise.
"Which means that they were guessing at your parentage from what you had apparently said when talking with Mihawk and a Marine had overheard." Katakuri said and Luffy could tell that he was pinching the bridge of his nose.
"How screwed up is the family tree in their minds? Cause I mentioned Mama Ama, Mama Branch, Mama Smoothie, Papa Peros, Papa Benn, Papa Shanks, and Papa Kata at some point or another while talking with Uncle Hawky." Luffy asked with a grin wondering about how screwed up the family tree would be in the newspaper and almost eager to read it now.
"That's just it son. They apparently couldn't riddle out who your Mama Ama and Mama Branch are and apparently didn't hear about me, Perospero-onii-san, and Benn being your papas. They only heard you mention Mama Smoothie and Papa Shanks." Katakuri said and there was loud laughter in the background again along with a few cries of 'I CAN'T UNSEE IT' from what sounded like Aunt Flambe.
"They think I'm the by product of Papa Shanks and Mama Smoothie?!" Luffy asked and he sounded gleefully amused at that, imaging how many heart attacks that news was causing right now.
"Morgans called us when his coworker was writing it up and he was nearly choking on his cigar he was laughing so hard. The worst part is that if they got drunk enough one day then it's entirely possible that they could have had you when Smoothie was sixteen." Katakuri said and Luffy busted out laughing at this, imaging the look on Uncle Morgans face when he heard that 'big news' about to be published.
"I think the worst part is that Smoothie decided to flirt with Shanks and tease him over them being parents and he decided to flirt back since he's drunk, peroin." Perospero said and Luffy choked on another laugh. Oh god he could only imagine the looks of disbelief and horror on his families faces at the two of them flirting!
"Please tell me that's going to be in the next newspaper." Luffy near begged with tears in his eyes from laughing so hard and trying to restrain his laughter in order to get the words out.
"Hell yeah it is." That was Aunt Effilee who said that and Luffy began laughing anew.
He should probably expect a call from Uncle Kaido and the Old Mustache Man soon but oh god he couldn't even breath right now he was laughing too hard.
The marines were terrifying themselves without them having to do anything and now they were going to add to it. Because of course they were.
They were pirates after all! Why wouldn't they prank the marines?