"Why is this so heavy?"
I swung Sade's bag onto my shoulder, surprised by its weight.
"I can carry it, it's fine—"
Before she could reach for it, I caught the hand she'd lifted and kissed it. Her fingers trembled as I laced them with mine, and we started walking to the loop station.
She had been nervous all morning about the maintenance appointment. It only made me want to pamper her even more than usual.
"What did you pack in here? Notebooks?" I asked, my other hand feeling the shapes through the fabric and guessing what felt like all of her books. "How long are you planning to be gone?"
I chuckled, wanting to lighten her mood, but Sade frowned, her brown eyes looking to the ground.
"Hey," I got my arms around her shoulders. "It's going to be okay. The coordinator I spoke to said it won't take more than three hours. They will check why you keep having nightmares, nothing else. You might even be out before me—"
Her eyes finally met mine.
"You're going to that meeting?" she confirmed something I knew she knew already. "With Chandra?"
"Yes."
"Good," Sade murmured, looking past me.
Finally, I was going to secure a new research project... And new funds with it.
Very soon, all that stress about how we'll be able to stay together will be gone. I'll have more funds, and I'll get to renew Sade's contract. Everything will come back to normal.
Well... Whatever normal meant right now.
In the GlideCab, she curled against my side and closed her eyes. The glass ahead reflected our two silhouettes gliding through the City's tunnels.
Initially, my eyes were only for her.
Until I caught a glimpse of my reflection.
I barely recognized myself.
These past weeks had changed everything I thought I knew about myself. Before meeting Sade, I believed I needed to be in control all the time. I thought I wanted routine, structure, and discipline.
Now, I barely recognized the man staring back at me.
My shirt was a color Sade had picked, saying it brought out my eyes. My lips were flushed from all the kissing we'd done last night. I still wore my glasses, mostly out of habit, since I hardly ever activated the screen anymore. She said she didn't like it when I wasn't present with her.
I noticed things I never used to, like the faint floral scent of Sade's new hairspray, or the shape of a tree she'd pointed out before we entered the station. I had learned to love what once unsettled me, such as the chaos waiting at home, with Sade piling up her freshly printed art while Poly buzzed cheerfully behind her.
I glanced down at her, her hair spilling across my chest. When had I fallen in love with Sade? It had felt both gradual and sudden. I had no reference point to compare it to.
I looked down at her angelic face on my shoulder, her perfect pink lips, her long brown lashes... The face I wished I could kiss all day.
We arrived at the dock station authorized by Love Machina Inc., and I helped her out of the GlideCab. The dock was bare, stripped of any decoration. Only closed silver elevator doors stood there, gleaming under the company logo above them.
When I looked back at Sade, I realized something was wrong.
Her lower lip trembled, her frightened eyes fixed on the blue logo flashing above the elevator doors. Her hands clutched the straps of her bag so tightly her knuckles had turned white.
"V..."
Before I could say anything, she wrapped her arms around me, pressing her face into my neck. I held her close without hesitation, my hand moving gently along her back.
"Everything's going to be fine. You have nothing to be scared of," I whispered, trying to reassure her.
Why was she so afraid of this checkup? Everything had seemed fine when I scheduled it. But ever since her last meeting... Maybe some other machinas had told her something about it? Maybe it would hurt?
"We can cancel," I said already, meaning it more than I wanted to admit. "We can postpone it or—"
She shook her head against my neck.
"No," she murmured, her voice breaking. "I have to do it."
I gently lifted her head to see her, my hands tracing the delicate contours of her face. I tilted her chin toward me so I could study her expression.
Was she saying it because she meant it... or just to please me?
That felt like a question I would forever wonder about when it came to Sade.
"V," she spoke, her glistening brown shuddering, her lips trembling. "I should tell you—"
My glasses vibrated against my temples.
Chandra calling, appeared on the screen.
Sade must have felt it too, because she slowly unwrapped her arms from around me and took a step back as I accepted the call.
"Where are you? The meeting's about to start!" Chandra's stressed-out voice screeched through my bones.
"I told you, I had something this morning. I'll be there in... fifteen minutes, max," I said, glancing at the time on the other side of the screen.
"V, you're jeopardizing my work if you don't show up! They'll think I'm not serious! I promised them you'd be here with me!"
Next to me, the elevator doors opened.
"I'm on my way," I said quietly, ending the call.
Sade gently touched my arm.
"Go."
Her expression had shifted from anxious to almost serene. Some tension still trembled along her brows, but her beautiful brown eyes had turned resolute on me.
She even took a step toward the elevator.
"Text me the second you're done," I told her, adjusting the straps of the bag on her shoulders.
She looked up at me with a strange expression and squeezed my hand one last time before stepping inside.
"I love you," I said.
"I love you more," she whispered back, her voice almost inaudible.
"You can try," I teased, and she smiled.
Before the elevator could close, I leaned forward and kissed her, holding the doors apart with both hands. She kissed me back deeply, her palms coming up to cup my face, drawing it out longer than usual, something I didn't mind at all.
Pulling away, I felt almost dizzy and steadied myself against the wall with a small smile for her.
The elevator doors slid shut, and just before they sealed completely, it was as if a light flickered out in her eyes.
A chill ran down my spine.
It felt like watching my heart walk out of my body.
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