I watched the atrium through the glass of the living room. The basil had overgrown, and the succulents had spread, coloring the dark soil in every shade of green.
Who would take care of it when I'm gone?
On the way back through the loop, I thought of all the people I had wanted to say goodbye to but couldn't. Norah's library books still sat in my room.
She wouldn't understand anyway. If I went to say goodbye to her, she would ask where I was going, when I would return...
And I couldn't tell her the truth.
I couldn't tell her that I had no idea where I was heading, only that I had to leave the City.
And I already knew I would never be able to come back.
I heard V's steps come down the stairs, and I shook away these thoughts. I still couldn't admit to myself that this was our last evening together, but I knew I would hate myself if I didn't enjoy every single minute left with him.
I would give myself these last few moments, and then, I would be gone.
And V will be able to move on then.
He'll be able to find himself alone. He'll find someone who will not make him feel like he has something missing.
Yes. That was the right thing to do.
And Chandra promised she would help him in that process.
"Ready?" he appeared by my side with a small backpack I had never seen before.
"What are you bringing?" I asked, curious about what he had gone to fetch for so long upstairs.
"It's a surprise," he shrugged it off with a small smile before checking the time on his analog watch.
Already, Poly had launched the mist inside the atrium.
Poly... I watched her whirr around our feet, always worried when she knew we - or I - would step out into that supposedly harmful mist. It wouldn't do much to me, though, but still, V seemed to get triggered by it.
I sighed, realizing I would miss having her around all day, too.
"Are you alright?"
"Y-Yeah," I snapped back to V's worried eyes.
I was wasting the precious time we had. I would have all the time in the world to miss them when I'd be gone tomorrow.
Let's focus on the present moment.
Just as the first time, we covered our faces. I guided V through the smoke for him to be able to close his eyes and not get too teary-eyed like last time.
I realized then that I wanted to cry too.
I felt a big ball of emotion in my throat, and I actually let my eyes get teary, having the perfect reason to blame.
"Are you sure you're alright?" V checked again, his sad eyes ever more worried about me.
His hand came around my face, his thumb grazing away a tear on the corner of my eye.
"Yes. Just the mosquito mist," I shrugged it off with a chuckle.
I leaned into the warmth of his touch, then took his hand in both of mine and walked beside him like that.
My hands wrapped around his, I wondered how I would be able to let go of him.
"I have to admit..." V spoke in a careful tone. "I can't wait for you to get the check-up tomorrow. These nightmares... I don't want to see you going through that ever again."
Again, I couldn't imagine what it must have been like for him to be jolted awake by my panic attack.
I didn't want him to think about it, and I didn't want to discuss the imminent time I will be leaving tomorrow.
"So, what kind of surprise did you plan?" I asked in the tunnel as we began our journey to the oasis, wanting to change the subject.
"I'll show you when we're there," he answered with an enigmatic smile.
We walked in silence through the tunnel, and I closed my eyes at times, letting his strong presence guide me. My arms wrapped around his, I tried to imprint this moment into my memory.
When we arrived, I was once again entranced by the magnificence of the oasis.
We had made it right before sunset, and the light cast a warm, golden glow across the dunes. The water's surface shimmered, reflecting the tall palms and leafy acacias. The place felt alive, serene, and impossibly beautiful, as if it existed only for us.
Seeing the oasis bathed in the last sunlight of the day made it feel entirely different from the one I visited in the dead of night, with people from Tardigrad.
It helped me imagine that these were two distinct worlds.
"Will you tell me now?" I asked him again when we finished setting up the big blanket I had printed on the sand.
"Now, yes..."
He opened his backpack and took out another small bag.
"Change into these," he said with a shy smile, and I looked at him, confused when I peeked inside the small bag and found some clothing that didn't seem familiar. "We're going swimming," he finally explained.
"But... I don't know how to swim," I uttered, surprised by his initiative.
"Me neither," he chuckled, taking off his glasses. "No one is taught in the City. We'll just paddle around... Stay where our feet touch the ground. Go change behind some bushes... I have something else to install here."
I walked to the trees and changed into the bathing suit V had brought for me. Thankfully, it wasn't one of the triangle bikinis I had seen yesterday, but a soft white one-piece.
It was my first time wearing a bathing suit. I felt a rush of excitement mixed with nerves. I was grateful that, again, I got to experience something new before leaving tomorrow.
Returning to our spot, I froze at the scene before my eyes.
Dozens of small candles surrounded the blanket and the sand, flickering like a magical starlit sky.
"V..." I whispered, overwhelmed.
He smiled and pecked a small kiss on my cheek.
"It'll look even better once the sun sets completely... I'll go change too."
He walked to the bushes I had just left, and I didn't even react, still too stunned by the scenery.
The candles flickered, their artificial flames dancing across the sand as I sat back onto the blanket. It looked perfectly magical. The sun had already disappeared behind the dunes, and the golden light had softened into magical shades of blue.
I would miss this place.
More than the library with Norah. More than the greenhouses I had explored with V, where we shared our first real kiss. More than Stellar Slices, where he had confided his secret to me.
More than our house, and more than Poly.
Here, despite my secret identity, I felt the closest to who I was.
Who I could be.
My eyes swept over the beauty of the oasis, but they kept darting to one specific spot...
I couldn't help myself. I had to peek.
Behind the large, swaying leaves, V was taking off his clothes.
The foliage hid parts of him, but enough of his body was exposed to make my breath hitch.
I wondered for a fleeting second if I had also been exposed when I changed... But that thought vanished as the sight before me stole my focus.
I caught sight of his naked, broad shoulders, leading down to his strong arms, flexing subtly as he moved. He slid one strong leg out of his pants, then the other, revealing the tight curve of his muscles.
My jaw dropped almost instinctively as my eyes traced the ridges of his abdomen.
I kept on admiring his breathtaking silhouette.
And yet... his body felt familiar, as if my hands had already memorized every line, every curve.
In our quiet shared nights, during stolen kisses, I had traced him in secret.
Suddenly, he turned around.
Our eyes met.
"Sade!" he faked a disappointed tone.
"S-sorry!" I stuttered, heat rushing to my cheeks, unable to hide how flustered I was.
The playful smirk tugging at his lips only made my heart pound faster.
I didn't even look away. My staring had been far too obvious, and there was no point in hiding it now.
V walked back to the blanket, his fingers tying the cordon of his swimming shorts, his biceps flexing with the motion, making my gaze linger even longer.
"Sorry," I said again, glancing in his direction but not daring to meet his intense, dark eyes.
"It's okay..." He sank his knees onto the blanket behind me, leaning his head against my shoulder before pressing a small, teasing kiss there. "I also peeked."
I dropped my jaw, gasping in surprise, and he laughed at me.
My mortified face made him laugh again. I tried to grab him, but he was too fast, already running toward the water.
I chased after him.
Just like last time, we splashed each other, laughed, and found every excuse to touch each other's skin.
At some point, as if he couldn't resist any longer, V's arm slid around my waist, pushing my body against his. His other hand grabbed around my neck, tangling in the wet strands of hair clinging to my skin.
He pressed his lips to mine, and we melted together, losing ourselves in the deep kisses. Our skins glistened from the water, flushed from the chase, and yet the air we exchanged between us felt fresh.
We kept kissing, as if we would never need to take another breath, as if we could simply feed off each other like that.
Against my lower belly, I felt his pressing desire. My trembling limbs left no doubt for him, as his hands caressed my back, tracing down to my hips, pressing me harder against him.
When we stopped kissing, the water had settled around us. Our foreheads pressed to each other, our eyes closed. We simply enjoyed the silence between us and the oasis.
When I opened my eyes again, I realized V had his open already, studying me carefully behind his long, dark lashes.
He gulped and blinked really fast, as if I had pulled him out of a reverie.
"Let's try..." he murmured in a low, raspy voice, staying reverent to the silence of the place.
He took my hands and walked backward, deeper into the lagoon. The water was warm where the sun had hit the surface, but cold at our feet, the textured bottom feeling strange beneath my toes.
"Try to float," V instructed, a shy smile on his lips. "I'll hold you."
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