'...?'
When sharing a blanket with another person, all nerves are focused on the unknown space hidden by the bedding. At least, that would be the case for two people lying side by side with their heads on pillows, exuding the same soap scent, on a bed standing alone in a spacious room.
So even if it was just for a moment, the disturbance detected by one side couldn't have gone unnoticed by the other.
Leonardo kept his gaze fixed on the man who still had his eyes closed, their hands touching skin to skin, his slightly cool. If this was an act, it was admirable. He was on the verge of falling into self-reproach for disturbing a sleeping person.
But how many times had he been fooled by this person's face pretending to be asleep? He was overwhelmed by the urge to grab the other's wrist and check his pulse. However, he didn't act on it. Because even now, he could feel the throbbing pulse through the interlocked bones of their hands.
The problem was that he couldn't distinguish whether it was his own or the other's. Judging by how his heartbeat was quickening to the point where it felt like his heart was attached there, it was probably his own.
'Is he awake? Or was he already awake?'
He wondered if the earlier reaction had been an unconscious response in sleep or if the other had been fully aware.
They were now close enough to casually grab each other's hands, so there was no need to be tense about their hands touching. But the scent filling the bed like a sealed room was too strong. It was impossible not to be conscious of the situation, so Leonardo pondered what to do with their touching hands.
He considered grabbing it outright, but quickly suppressed his surging emotions. The other was someone he would soon part with. This person had even wavered in his firm beliefs because of him, and he didn't want to shake him up and trouble him any further.
While his mind tried to be content with staying by the man's side as he allowed, his instincts, ignorant of proper limits, focused all attention on his fingertips. If he were to interlock their fingers here, how would it be interpreted?
'Would he think of it as just playfulness?'
His index finger, laden with countless thoughts, unconsciously raised its head. Just as it was about to bend backward and brush against the other's finger—
Swish–
The cool hand moved away, followed by the broad shoulder turning to face the opposite direction. The rustling bedding, the heavy bed's shaking. The intention of rejection was conveyed through his entire body.
Startled by the sudden movement, Leonardo blinked his stiffened eyes. He blankly stared at the back of the man who had turned completely away. Tick tock, the second hand's sound grew loud again. His embarrassed fingertips and red lips quivered in bewilderment.
The shoulder rising like a mountain and the thick back seemed to be building a wall against him. Then, as if sighing, the thick chest swelled greatly before subsiding.
'Ah...'
Contrary to his inner sigh, Leonardo bit his lip hard. He swallowed dryly and tried hard to regain his composure. Soon, he hurriedly turned his gaze away and stared again at the ceiling he had been looking at while waiting for the Commander.
This was right, this was natural. He didn't know why he felt disappointed.
"..."
It was ironic that he felt this way now, when he had been the one to reject the other who had reached out first. The heart that had descended to his fingertips found its place again, pounding in a corner of his chest. The confusion mixed with embarrassment echoed in his ears like a throbbing pulse, mocking his own actions.
Leonardo focused on the breathing of the other who wasn't making a sound, when he suddenly realized that his own heartbeat sounded too loud. Worried that it might be audible to the person next to him, he turned his body in the opposite direction out of sheer embarrassment.
Small tremors continued on the bed, and the shared blanket was pulled taut on both sides.
A wide space formed between the two people showing their backs to each other. Only childish provocation, shame, and lingering attachment remained there.
The tension riddled with various thoughts dissipated and scattered lazily between the two who had drifted apart.
'...Hah.'
Hugo, who had been staring into space with his eyes half-open, continuously caressed the back of his own hand where warmth had touched, while letting out a sigh.
He gradually cooled the warmth trying to seep in with his palm that held coolness. Eventually, he clenched his fist so hard that his nails almost dug into his skin.
It would be a lie to say he felt nothing in this situation. Knowing this, Hugo was all the more cautious. Leonardo was someone who would soon leave.
Of course, whether Leonardo left or not, he had a duty to protect him from the world. And that world included himself as well. ...That guy didn't know how ugly the man beside him could sometimes become.
Even if it was what Leonardo himself wanted, it was right for a properly minded adult to maintain distance. The boy who had only grown physically just needed someone to lean on. Hugo steeled his heart, telling himself that this was just a clumsy expression of that desire.
'Was I too harsh?'
He did feel bad that the guy behind him seemed to have turned away with a hurt heart. But what could he do? This was the path for both their sakes. Hugo tried to erase his thoughts and close his eyes again for the coming day.
Rustle, rustle–
However, after feeling several movements and shakes, something suddenly touched between his shoulder blades.
Hugo's eyelids twitched for a moment. All his senses focused on the warmth that had come closer behind his back.
Leonardo, who had bumped his forehead against the broad back, asked in a sulky voice:
"...Are you asleep?"
Though he knew he shouldn't answer, Hugo's lips moved on their own.
"No."
At the voice that came back immediately, Leonardo's eyelashes fluttered. Then, leaning his forehead deeper, he asked:
"Did you sleep yesterday?"
Hugo maintained a calm yet cool tone.
"...No."
Yet somehow, the answers came out diligently.
Leonardo, who had burrowed into the man's spine, lightly pressed the back of his hand, still filled with regret, against Hugo's lower back. The firm and massive inverted triangle upper body reacted slowly like a dangerous beast.
"Is it because of me?"
Hugo, who had been answering readily, kept silent this time. His already tense lower abdomen tightened even more.
Though he could have just answered 'no' this time too, that simple word wouldn't come out easily. Hugo was engulfed in deep and intense anguish. Either way, if the answer was delayed, wouldn't it be admitting to being shaken?
Leonardo buried his face in the man's back, vast as the open sea, and swayed as if entrusting his body to gentle waves following the other's breaths. The area around his shoulder blades alternated between tensing and relaxing. Liking the heavy and stable presence, he wanted to stretch out his arms and embrace him.
But no matter how long he waited, the answer never came. Leonardo, who had been getting intoxicated by Hugo's scent, finally furrowed his brows and indulged in the minimum amount of wheedling he could:
"Can't you hold my hand?"
After a moment of silence, soon a thick arm with protruding veins came over his back. The large hand, now warm, grabbed Leonardo's hand that was pressed against his lower back as if snatching it away.
Then, covering the back of his hand and interlocking their fingers, he wrapped Leonardo's arm around his own waist.
"Go to sleep now. Tomorrow will be busier."
Hugo gently admonished while grasping Leonardo's hand placed on his abdomen.
"..."
Leonardo's upper body leaned a little more, fidgeting.
Ten fingers intertwined like tangled thread pressed against the firm and sleek lower abdomen.
Leonardo, barely embracing the large man who couldn't be fully contained in just one of his arms, slowly closed his eyes while feeling the heartbeat that he couldn't tell whose it was.
Enveloped by the resentful warmth that clung to his back, Hugo paid attention to even his own breathing rhythm.
It was his fault for indulging the whim.
Tonight, too, was bound to be long as usual.
***
Throughout the morning, Leonardo wore an expression of having a headache as he struggled with the pile of documents Flynn had brought. He hadn't known this was what it meant when he was told tomorrow would be busier. There was absolutely no time to rest.
"I've listed out the general order and participant list, so keep reviewing them whenever you have time. There probably won't be many situations where you'll speak directly, but just in case, memorize the expected answer keywords."
"Yeah, yeah."
"Oh, right. And we need to go hear the blood test results, but that'll be in the evening after we eat..."
From basic etiquette in the courtroom to tips that would be good to know, stances that could lead the situation favorably on-site. Position statements 1, 2, 3, and 4 for effectively appealing for rights... While Leonardo was grateful to Flynn for preparing all this, he was on the verge of getting a headache from the forced march that had started in the morning.
The black letters written on the paper listed out the trial process, and although he thought it would be easy to understand since he had experienced it once, contrary to expectations, there were far more procedures and things to prepare.
It was quite different from the trial three years ago. Though it was more humane than back then when he had no chance to defend himself, Leonardo started to feel scared.
The discussion topic for this trial was whether his achievements from participating in the peninsula subjugation were worthy enough to atone for his past crimes.
The problem was that those 'crimes' included not only partially destroying the northern grand plaza of the imperial capital, but also resisting the Commander in Frost territory and causing damage to some buildings and land. Challenging the authority of the investigator and showing threatening behavior during the investigation process. It was also written that for the past three years, he had disobeyed the Council's summons and accepted illegal commissions as an illegal mage, gaining financial benefits.
He thought he would only be held accountable for causing trouble in the imperial capital, but they had meticulously gathered every possible charge. Just seeing this, he could feel their determination not to let him go easily, but when he looked at the additional materials Flynn had handed over, he felt overwhelmed.
There, the expected discussion directions of the council members with voting rights were written. The sentence that caught his eye first was 'unprecedented number of casualties'. It meant questioning whether this massive damage could really be considered a 'success' of the subjugation. Even though he hadn't actually heard it, he already felt mentally exhausted as if he had watched the heated debate throughout.
"Did you write all this?"
Leonardo asked Flynn, waving the papers. He could understand why Agrizendro and Flynn had often been absent.
Looking at just the opposing side's arguments, it seemed like there couldn't be a more unreasonable stretch, but they had fleshed it out plausibly to make it seem logical. It seemed that even five bodies wouldn't be enough to set up a favorable situation.
"Huh? Ah, well, yes... But it's just imagining the worst-case scenario, so don't worry too much about it."
Flynn hastily added, fearing Leonardo might think his personal opinions were included in the opposing side's views. Leonardo nodded as if he understood, but his expression became noticeably troubled. While previous battles had been physical confrontations, this time it felt like entering a new arena where only pens and words would clash.
Honestly, he was far from that sort of thing, so his ability to defend himself was woefully inadequate. He could now understand why the 3rd Battalion Commander could brazenly bring up voting rights.
'This won't be an easy fight.'
Flynn glanced at Leonardo's rapidly darkening face. Wondering if he had written it too realistically, he pondered how to boost his spirits.
Putting down the pen he was holding, Flynn tidied up the scattered documents. Then he casually offered a word:
"Blaine, don't worry."
The golden eyes full of concern rolled to the side. Flynn hesitated before adding:
"You have me and the Commander. We're on your side."
"..."
"I might be average in combat, but I'm strong in this area. I'll help you, so hang in there a little more. You've done well so far."
Leonardo quietly looked at Flynn who was comforting him. Flynn, forcing a smile, deliberately put on an even brighter expression.
Perhaps due to not sleeping last night, Leonardo, who somehow looked tired, rested his head on the sofa's headrest. Then, with a face that stirred protective instincts, he casually let out:
"What– That's... reassuring."
At the unexpected response, Flynn's eyes widened, and he reflexively let out a small laugh. To think he'd hear such words from this guy. Feeling inexplicably good, he barely managed to pull down the corners of his mouth that threatened to rise endlessly.
Hiding his embarrassed look with a fake cough, Flynn changed the subject with a barely concealed excited tone:
"We got some cookies as a gift recently, want to try some? I'll bring them with some tea, so you can eat while you work. Eating something sweet helps your brain work better."
Flynn stood up, fumbling around as if he was going to bring them right away regardless of the answer. Just hearing that one phrase made him want to take care of Leonardo even more.
Leonardo nodded briefly.
"Okay."
He stared at Flynn's retreating figure with his shoulders raised high.
'On my side.'
Surprisingly, the anxiety that had been creeping up on him quickly subsided.