🛏️ Scene 1 — 3:08 AM | Ryan's Room — The Delulu Dream
> Me (mumbling half-asleep):
"Yeah… I can join that damn department… I just need to study… focus… f—zzZz…"
🎬 DREAM MODE: ON
Suddenly, I was back inside the Anti-Scammer Department.
Cold air. Cinematic lighting. Angelic background music—like I was inside a K-drama intro.
Then she appeared.
Rachel.
Long black hair. Swinging ID badge. Eyes sparkling like they had their own filter.
> Rachel (softly):
"Sir Ryan… good morning."
(Sparkles. Slow motion. Dramatic wind blowing from nowhere.)
I blushed like I failed a blood pressure test. She walked closer… then closer…
She leaned in—
Her lips brushed mine.
I closed my eyes, breath caught in my throat.
> Smooch.
Moooo.
…
Me (eyes still closed):
"Wait… what?"
I opened my eyes.
Rachel was gone.
Standing before me now was…
A buff water buffalo. With eyeliner. And a faint mustache.
> Kalabaw (seductively):
"Daddy… one more kiss~"
Me (in dream):
"WHAT THE ACTUAL—"
---
😱 Scene 2 — 3:09 AM | Ryan's Room — Real World
> "AHHH! BUFFALOOOO!!!"
I bolted upright, panting, drenched in sweat, questioning every decision that led me here.
> Me (wide-eyed):
"Was that a nightmare or emotional damage in disguise?"
Desk? Still messy.
Notes? Still untouched.
Degree? Still nonexistent.
I grabbed the textbook beside me:
> How to Not Be a Disappointment Vol. 2 — Wake the Hell Up
> Me (sighing):
"Alright. No more kissing livestock. Time to actually study."
---
📚 Scene 3 — 8:12 AM | Saint Chismoso National High School
I arrived at school smiling like I got a scholarship from the University of Delusion.
> Me (thinking):
"This is it. My redemption arc begins… with a touch of insanity."
I entered the gate like I was in a shampoo commercial.
Wind? Check.
Dramatic background music? Always.
Delusion? Maxed out.
> Me (to random guy):
"Good morning, Proof!"
> Random guy (confused):
"Uh… my name's Paolo."
> Me (nodding seriously):
"Oh. Right. I meant your earrings."
(pause)
"Wait. Where is your hair?!"
He stared at me like I confessed to a crime.
> Him (slow blinking):
"You okay, bro?"
> Me (grinning):
"Nope. But I showed up anyway."
---
📼 Flashback: Me as a Kid
I've always been like this.
Back in kindergarten, while the other kids ate crayons by accident…
I ate them on purpose.
To assert dominance.
When I lost at jack-en-poy, I challenged my classmate to a spelling bee.
We both cried.
> Me (thinking):
"I may be small… but my delulu is XXL."
---
🧑🏫 Scene 4 — 8:30 AM | Room 203 — The Sexy Subject Teacher
Now here I am. Sitting in the back row. Pretending to take notes while staring at our subject teacher entering like a K-drama lead.
Glasses? Check.
Rolled sleeves? Dangerous.
Aura? Rachel-level.
> Me (blushing again):
"Why does this man give off forbidden romance energy?!"
> Sir Teacher (writing on board):
"Open your books to page 42."
> Me (internally):
"Yes, daddy—WAIT. NO. NO. I mean sir. TEACHER. EDUCATOR."
My brain short-circuited like a knockoff charger.
I glanced down at my notebook.
Only one line was written:
> "He has veins."
---
🛎️ Scene 5 — 4:00 PM | Outside School — Post-Class Delulu Drift
The bell rang. Class dismissed.
> Me (stretching):
"Finally. Time to go home and cry horizontally."
I walked like I just escaped from a dramatic anime arc.
As I passed traffic, I started guessing car brands like a broke Top Gear host:
> Me:
"Honda. Mitsubishi. Is that a Tesla?—nope. Jeepney with a spoiler and prayer."
---
🥟 Scene 6 — Siopao Stand
Then… I smelled it.
Steam. Warm bread. Childhood.
Siopao.
I stopped like I hit a save point in life.
> Me (soft):
"...Mama."
🎞️ Flashback Mode: ON
---
👩👦 6 Years Ago — Our Kitchen
> Mama (gently):
"Anak, when life gets hard… eat a siopao. It's soft. Warm. Like a hug."
> Me (tiny):
"But we don't have ulam."
> Mama (nodding):
"Then siopao is the ulam."
> Me (respectfully):
"Siopao supremacy."
---
🌀 Back to present
> Me (dramatic stare):
"Mama… your steamed hugs still haunt me."
I reached into my pocket…
Empty.
I walked away siopao-less—but emotionally full.
---
🏠 Scene 7 — 5:02 PM | My Apartment (a.k.a. Depression HQ)
Twelve thousand steps later… I arrived.
Home sweet—
> sniff sniff
"Yup. Smells like wet dog, failed dreams, and someone else's regret."
I collapsed on the floor dramatically like a telenovela lead who found out her child has two dads.
> Me (staring at ceiling):
"This is home. It stinks. I love it."
---
🩸 TO BE CONTINUED
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