Coruscant, Senatorial/Delegate Landing Complex (22 Hours Later)
"It seems like we're about to part ways. Agent Narcassan is expecting to debrief me, and go over the evidence we collected in a couple of hours. He'll probably be contacting you sometime in the next few days for the same reason. I want to thank you again for everything you did, Anakin, and especially for choosing to come in the first place. Could you please convey my thanks to Master Dark Woman, for risking her life facilitating our escape?"
Padme smiled dazzlingly at me as she'd finished with a question I'd simply nodded my agreement with. That smile faded a moment later. Replaced with a look of concern, as I sensed genuine worry rising in her just before she asked "The two of you won't get in too much trouble for disobeying the High Council, I hope?"
My smile was confident and reassuring as I gave her a slight shrug, then calmly replied "It shouldn't be too bad. Like I said, if Master Yoda had wanted us stopped, we would have been. There's also the fact we weren't actually forbidden to take part in this mission. The Council will almost certainly take that into account."
Padme didn't seem very convinced by this, so I elaborated in the hopes that more information would stop her from imagining something worse. "The members of the Council will undoubtedly ask me some very pointed questions. Depending on what they think of my answers, they'll either let the matter go after some haranguing about being more obedient and less impulsive, or censure me. In which case, I'll be set some sort of penance. I doubt they'll do more than question Master Dark Woman though, because they've long since given up on getting her to change her ways. She answers to the will of the Force first, and the High Council a distant second. Please, don't give the matter another thought." I wasn't actually quite so sanguine concerning the Council's reaction to my actions, but there was no sense in her worrying about something neither of us could do anything about.
Still not seeming all that reassured, the slim, dark-haired woman paused and studied me quite intently for several seconds. Several times during the many hours we'd talked while in hyperspace, I'd sensed her curiosity surge, as if she were on the verge of asking a particular question. Along with a desire to say something else. Only to feel both impulses slowly recede, when the strong-willed woman who'd just been sitting a short distance from me had thought better of it. Now, I could feel the wave of curiosity finally cresting, as she obviously decided it was now or never. When she looked up at me, her expression was one of resolved determination.
"There was a reason you were so intent on accompanying me, a reason you were "displeased" the Council removed Obi-Wan from the mission, and a reason not only for your choosing to avoid me, but to subsequently reverse that decision. I suspect all those reasons are actually the same, but that's just guesswork and intuition. After everything you did, you certainly don't owe me an explanation, Anakin, but your providing one would mean a great deal to me." The slender dark-haired beauty's voice was a soft appeal. Matched by the one made by those deep brown eyes I kept struggling not to get drawn in by.
I bit the inside of my right cheek to clear my head. Padme had slowly risen and taken a step in my direction as she spoke, but my head was too full of both our rising emotions to know how aware she was that she'd done so. I tried to formulate a response, but her proximity made that proposition more difficult than usual.
Opening my mouth to say something, I was unsure of what exactly I intended to say. What with her close enough the subtle just-after-rain and wildflower scent which was uniquely her continued clouding my head despite the pain, I froze as a Shatterpoint blossomed into being with Padme at it's heart. Like a great crystalline fractal-flower made up of countless shifting planes, angles, and facets, it was by far the most intense manifestation of the Force-phenomena I'd ever witnessed. The sight of it cleared my head and snapped me back to reality as quickly and completely as if someone had just turned a sprayer set to ice-cold on me.
"Give me a moment, please. I need to think about how to explain this, Padme." My response was more distant than I might have intended, but I was no longer simply a young man in over his head with a devastatingly attractive woman alone in a shuttle cabin with him. I was a Jedi Knight, who'd just been forcibly made aware of the fact that his next decision was likely to have far-reaching repercussions.
Closing my eyes, I found the center which had eluded me for the last few minutes. Doing my best to remain as dispassionate as Master Windu had trained me to be under these circumstances, I analyzed what I knew.
The Shatterpoint had obviously been created by the interaction between Padme's question, and all my possible responses. It's size and complexity completely ruling out the possibility of it influencing a simple, short-term, or relatively inconsequential decision. This was at least an order of magnitude more complex than any example of the phenomena I'd ever seen. When the wave-form of countless potential futures collapsed into a resolved sequence of ongoing events, the impact of these events was going to reverberate and continue to propagate for decades, if not centuries. This much, I was absolute certain about.
There was only one chain of cause-and-effect with the two of us at it's center that fit the situational context. My stomach twisted strangely as I suddenly caught a momentary glimpse of a face in one of the already vanishing facets of the Shatterpoint. The image's appearance coinciding perfectly with the same instant I came to the correct conclusion.
It had been a sixteen or seventeen year old Leia. Just old enough for me to be absolutely sure it was her. The image had vanished so quickly it should have been easy to tell myself I'd imagined it, but I knew better than that. Captured just as she'd begun a turn to the left, there was a fiercely determined expression on a face nearly as lovely as her mother's. I was so surprised by what I'd seen, it took me several moments to realize what had seemed off about her image. I finally recognized that, instead of inheriting her mother's dark brown eyes, my own dark blue orbs had been perfectly recreated in her face by some tiny shift in genetic possibility. The realization caused me to experience the oddest jolt of connection to a young woman who'd reminded me so much of her mother.
Unsettled, I was forced to sternly remind myself of the danger inherent to dwelling upon a shadow which might never possess substance. There was something sad about the necessity of that thought, but I had no time for the future right now. Not when the expectant expression on Padme's face called to mind my Master's admonishments about remaining mindful of the present, rather than focusing on all too ephemeral possibilities.
Despite my training, I didn't know the answer to the riddle posed by the Shatterpoint, so I chose to believe a more personal aspect of the truth constituted one possible right answer. Which might or might not have had something to do with the fact I was self-aware enough to realize I was running on fumes with regards to resisting the appeal of the lovely creature looking at me so intently.
"It's really as simple as my wanting to protect you. I thought staying away from you would be the best way to ensure your safety, but recent events made me understand you lead a dangerous life at the best of times." My confession consisted of all the believable truth I had on hand, but I was keenly aware of how strange this must sound coming from a veritable stranger. Behind the opacity of her mental shielding, I could sense a razor-sharp mind extracting every drop of meaning my words contained, but as to what conclusions she might be drawing, I didn't have the faintest idea.
"Yesterday, you mentioned a distrust of Vice-Chair Ashgad, and a lack of support for the prospect of Senator Mothma becoming a candidate for the Chancellorship. Is that what this is about, politics?" Padme's manner didn't give anything away as she asked this, and the welter of emotions flitting by didn't tell me much either.
I considered playing into what appeared on the surface to be a misapprehension on her part, but only for a moment. It was difficult to believe such a generally soft-spoken and gracious woman was pressing me this hard concerning my motives, until I remembered the way she'd gone after Finis Valorum during the infamous no-confidence vote Palpatine had orchestrated. The expression "Still waters, run deep" had never seemed more apt, and I lived with people who held up self-control as one of the greatest of all virtues.
The insistent triple-beep of my communicator preempted whatever response I'd been about to make. Prompting me to give Padme an apologetic look, as I stated the obvious "I'm sorry, but I need to take this."
Her expression inscrutable, Padme gave a small nod as I removed the comm unit from a pouch on my belt, then flipped it open to reveal a tiny hologram of Qui Gon Jinn. His blue-white features conveying his usual calm self-possession, but there was also fatigue, and an indefinable tension. Something which immediately gave me the impression he was actively working to maintain a sense of equanimity attained through decades of nonstop striving.
"I have been asked to inform you the High Council requires your presence ninety minutes from now. It seems you made a number of waves while on your self-appointed mission to Cato Neimoidia, Anakin" Qui Gon remarked without any preamble. His tone giving little clue as to what he actually thought of my "wave making."
Politely requesting he give me a minute to finish apprising the Senator of her present peril, I muted the comm the instant the Jedi Master nodded with a frown, then turned to Padme and said with all the seriousness I could inject into my voice "I have three very good reasons to believe your life is in imminent danger, from at least two different parties. One of which is the unidentified Dark Side adept responsible for compelling Jheramahd Greyshade to leap to his death from the roof of 500 Republica, so as to kill the Financial Reform Act which might have helped resolve the Secessionist Crisis. You and Senator Robb now occupy the same position as impediments to the war between the Core and Rim the late Senator Greyshade did, because of your resistance to the revival of the Minister of Defense position, and public opposition to the Military Creation Act. The other threat being the woman who just tried to kill you on Cato Neimoidia. I intend to explain the reasoning concerning her motives when I don't have Master Jinn muted on an open comm, but I'm asking you to trust me, and formally request Jedi protection."
"Answer the question I asked before we were interrupted, then I'll do as you ask" Padme calmly responded with a silent intensity gleaming in those dark eyes. The call of which was swiftly sapping what remained of my resolve, even as her reply came as a complete sideswipe surprise. Leaving me goggling, as my brain stuttered over an answer I hadn't considered among the most remote of possibilities.
Since the Trials, my emotions had never been more under my control. The significant increases in composure, self-control, and a capacity to remain detached, if not always at peace, had actually persuaded me that one day, it might actually be possible I could greet even the most catastrophic of calamities with the serene objectivity I so admired in my teacher.
Now, my reaction to the way I remained the entirety of her focus despite the danger I'd just finished explaining? It showed me just how far I still had to go if I aspired to such self-discipline. In that moment, I couldn't remember ever feeling less in control of a situation. My feelings were running a wild gamut from frustration over her inexplicable priorities, to continuing concern for her safety, with a desire for her which was an overarching, underpinning influence.
"What do you want me to say, Padme? That I'm more interested in getting to know you than any woman I've ever met? That I didn't believe it was possible to find someone so appealing, fascinating, and desirable? That my concern for you has been entirely personal from the beginning? That as much as my decision to avoid you was made first and foremost out of concern for your safety, it was also a means of coping with the enormous temptation to simply stop caring about the fact that Jedi are supposed to avoid attachments exactly like this? That I have to keep reminding myself we've spent perhaps a day in each other's company, because it feels like I've known you for years? All of that's true, but I would really like to know why you were so intent on pushing me to say so!" The questions, especially the last that was more a plea than anything else, poured out of me raw and totally unfiltered. I'd had no idea what I was going to say until the torrent of words had escaped me like the eruption of steam from one of the many immense geysers I'd seen as a boy during the expedition to Mimban.
In the wake of that uncensored explosion of emotion, cold reason rushed in to fill the vacuum created in my psyche by the dramatic reduction in built up tension. Filling me with a dull sort of horror, the sense I had never been more painfully exposed in the entirety of two lifetimes, and an awful certainty based in experience that confessions like the ones I'd just made were the province of the hopelessly infatuated. I'd just come on as strong as an out of control Wookie, and there were few women in this or any other galaxy who found such a love-sick outpouring anything but repellent.
Padme's continued silence in the wake of my emotional outburst was all the confirmation I needed that my initial assessment of her likely reaction had been all too accurate. She was a kind and compassionate individual, so it wasn't hard to guess she was busy formulating a gentle let-down for someone she still felt a significant amount of gratitude toward for saving her life. If I hadn't been so completely thrown by the sheer magnitude of my immature idiocy, I would have been able to glean everything I needed to know with my empathic gift. Struggling to regain my equilibrium in the midst of circumstances I hadn't contended with in decades though? I couldn't have told someone everything I was feeling at this moment, let alone make any sense of her emotions. It was the very first time since the memory of this life began that empathy told me nothing at all, but after a moment's reflection, I wondered if that wasn't a mercy being manufactured by a subconscious mind which desperately wanted to remain ignorant of the repercussions arising from such a poorly-considered decision.
Caught up in the process of collecting myself so I could face the consequences of my error with some degree of dignity, it took me a ridiculously long time after I'd pulled myself together to realize it wasn't pity or distaste I was feeling from Padme. The uppermost emotion was probably relief, a layered yet fierce sense of satisfaction, and a happiness that, while subdued after a fashion, was no less simultaneously confusing and compelling. All of which was shot through with an aching loneliness which had been so deeply buried before now that I'd detected no trace of it. An emotion which was as connected to that understated yet growing happiness as muscle and connective tissue. I looked on with more than a little stunned surprise, as she adroitly and with apparent casualness took a step to the side to pick up a datapad from a nearby table, then out of Qui Gon's holographic sight line, before fixing me with a look heated enough to start a fire.
Her voice was quiet, a little husky, and filled with a silent apology, plea to be understood, and promise of intent, as she finally responded "Yes, I think those are just the sort of things I wanted you to say, Anakin, because I'll be damned living and bodily to the Chaos Beyond the Seven Gates, before I end up like my friend Satine. Forever in love and caught up with a man she knows she can't have, yet unable to let go and move on. I'm sorry I needed to push you so hard, but watching one of the strongest women I've ever known wrap her duty about her heart as a way to try and bind up a wound caused by the cruelest kind of hope, I swore to myself I'd never let one of you Jedi cut me so deeply. If you weren't willing to put your feelings before your Order's precious doctrine of detachment, I wanted, no, I needed to know it now. You seemed different, I thought you were different, and Gale certainly did everything she could to convince me you were different, but I still needed to see and hear it for myself. I have too much self-respect to ever become one of the pining shadows some of the Republic's shining heroes and heroines leave behind them, as they belatedly recall the demand they remain detached from it all."
I felt an incredulous sort of relief most closely akin to what I'd felt the day Ventress came within a few centimeters of splitting my skull with one of her lightsabers, but with Qui Gon looking on, I had to maintain a detached demeanor. Much as I wanted to get into this right now, especially concerning whatever this mysterious "Gale" had said and done, I was forced to settle for murmuring "You're right about me not being like the others, but we're going to have a long talk about all of this later. If I keep Master Jinn waiting any longer, I'm going to exhaust even his considerable patience."
Giving me a nod as she continued distracting me with her smile, I flipped the comm's sound back on, then bowed deeply to the holographic projection as I said "Please forgive me for keeping you waiting, Master Jinn. It took some time to explain, and subsequently persuade the Senator as to the imminent nature of the threat posed to her and Senator Robb. Their joint resistance to reinstating the Minister of Defense's office, in addition to their opposing the Military Creation Act, makes their circumstances very similar to those of the late Senator Greyshade, prior to his assassination right before the vote on the Financial Reform Act. Now that I've pointed out the numerous disturbing parallels, Senator Amidala has formally requested Jedi protection for at least the ten days remaining until the Senate next convenes. It's my sincere hope you won't take the rather lengthy wait I subjected you to as a sign of disrespect."
Waving away the idea he might have been offended, Qui Gon's deep voice was calm yet very serious, as he replied "I'm not one of those you need to be leery of offering the semblance of disrespect today, Anakin. In addition to their discomfiture concerning some of the results of your independently authorized mission to Cato Neimoidia, the members of the Council have remained closeted in deliberation since I reported as to our discoveries in the Pammant System."
Pausing for a moment to obviously consider his next words, the broad-shouldered Jedi Master's rugged features quirked into a faint smile, as he continued "I want to thank you for warning me of the likelihood the Quarren Secessionists were concealing that nightmarish prototype's fully operational status with dummy slip-scaffolding the vessel could free itself from without visible warning. You probably saved the lives of the six Aces in the decoy-squadron, so for now, I'm going to go on pretending to believe you, when you say you're gleaning all these secrets from Far Sight and precognitive visions. You just need to be aware of the tensions at work upon the Council due to the grave implications of what was just uncovered, and the fact I'm by no means the only one whose grown quite curious about the scope of your knowledge. These tensions, and that curiosity, are almost certainly going to bear on the Councilors' handling of your situation. I wish I could say more, but the Council has made it clear they wish to hear your testimony untainted by a knowledge of developments which have transpired since the end of your activities on Cato Neimoidia. Still, it would only be a common sense observation, if I were to point out you would be best served to be very early in your attendance upon the Council."
I nodded, my expression relieved, as I replied "It's extremely gratifying to learn I might have played some small part in keeping several of our brothers and sisters safe as you were all engaged in such an important operation. The Republic needs to know what's going on at the Pammant Docks, because now that the C.I.S leadership knows their secret is out, I believe they'll use those ships sooner rather than later. Your point is well-taken and appreciated though, Master Jinn. I'll be returning to the Temple as soon as I'm relieved here."
Looking at Qui Gon's hologram steadily, I decided to offer a more specific conclusion, rather than simply wait and tell the Council "Based on Senator Amidala's discovery that the Archduke of Geonosis was securing funds to construct the largest Geonosian battle-droid foundry yet, and the fact he's planning to go ahead with the construction despite a blockading task-group of sixty heavy cruisers, I believe the C.I.S intends to break the blockade of Geonosis by destroying the task-group in-system using their new weapon."
Looking as serious as I'd ever seen him, the Jedi Master answered cagily "I would like to discuss this with you further, but as I said, I can't at this time. Again, however, I would observe that it would only be reasonable for you to suppose a committed investigator with access to many of the same facts in your possession might well have come to a similar conclusion, and passed that conclusion on to the pertinent authorities. Unfortunately, it would be equally reasonable for you to surmise that educated guesswork, absent hard evidence, is often greeted with a significant amount of skepticism by those more conscious of the health of their careers, than in carrying out their duties to the best of their abilities. It's an imperfect system, Anakin, but the alternatives are worse. Perhaps the hard evidence you helped the Senator acquire will change some minds, before it's too late."
Raising his arm so the wrist with the chronometer on it was clearly visible in the hologram, he tapped it with one finger, then finished with "Regardless, I believe your concerns with respect to the safety of Senators Amidala and Robb are valid. Regrettably, however, neither of us possess the authority to authorize Jedi protection details. Since you'll see the Council the soonest, I advise you to take this matter up with them. In the meantime, I find myself in need of some time away from the Temple. If I should find myself in a position to give a friend a ride to S.B.I headquarters from the Senatorial and Delegate landing-complex in, say, twenty-five minutes, then extend an invitation to an early dinner which was accepted by a friend I wished to catch up with? Well, that would simply be a happy coincidence all around, wouldn't it? Assuming Senator Amidala has no objections, of course."
We both looked in Padme's direction, who quickly and graciously replied "It would be wonderful to see you again, Master Jinn. It just so happens I do find myself in need of a ride, and that I'm free for dinner with an old friend. Thank you for happening to think of me. I know how busy your duties keep you." Her smile was a touch conspiratorial as she said this, and I had to suppress a smile of admiration at how she handled the prospect of mortal peril.
Qui Gon's smile was genuine, as he concluded by saying "Good luck with the Council, Anakin. May the Force be with you."
"Thank you for your counsel and assistance, Master Jinn. May the Force be with you, as well" I replied a moment later. Allowing the appreciation to be seen in my expression.
The moment his hologram vanished, I wanted to wheel about and begin questioning the woman who'd apparently been a great deal more aware of me, and possessed of more information in this respect than I ever could have guessed. Instead, I kept a tight rein on my emotions, and calmly called a different airspeeder rental service than one of the three generally used by members of the Order. I had my comm set to search the holo-net and deliver a random result for rentals in this sector of the ecumenopolis, because I had no desire to make it easy for a Jedi-hunter to sabotage my transportation as a prelude to an ambush. Precognition would likely warn me about an outright speeder-bombing, but it was possible something subtler, like a means to deprive me of control of the vehicle when a signal was transmitted could slip through. I had no desire to become the occupant of the latest pyre to be lit, because I'd underestimated the likes of Aurra Sing. It wasn't a stretch to believe that one wanted me in particular dead due to Dark Woman being my former Master, so I exercised due prudence. I wasn't scared of her, I'd simply had it ground into me for fifteen years to ensure confrontations took place on terms of my choosing whenever feasible.
Seeing my deposit and rental-fee had both been processed, as well as confirmation the RGC-16 Airspeeder would arrive at the speeder annex adjacent to the landing complex in twenty-three minutes, I was finally able to pocket the device, then turn my attention back to Padme.
"Will you please tell me who this Gail is, and what she told you about me?" My voice was soft, but I could hear the underlying tension and concern in it, so I was positive she could as well.
Spelling out the High Galactic characters, Padme corrected me, then went on to answer "It's not her real name, but something similar to a childhood nickname, spelled G-A-L-E. Something she told me to tell you, specifically. She was the initiate of the woman who taught me to guard my thoughts during my first term as Queen. After the two of them had finished teaching me, I didn't see her again until my first year in the Senate. I'd gone to Mandalore as a representative of Queen Jamillia, to negotiate the details of a long-term plasma exportation agreement. Gale had apparently completed her training, because now she was working for Duchess Kryze. In what capacity, was never entirely clear, but seemed to me like something between bodyguard and informal advisor. In any case, she approached me the night I was due to leave. Saying she needed to tell me some things she'd learned after recovering some relic she only described as important and extremely fragile, for a group of Force-sensitives she wouldn't tell me about, but which I could tell scared her a great deal."
Looking at me strangely, there seemed to be an edge of anticipation about her, as she continued "Initially, I was quite skeptical about what she was trying to tell me. Gale's account sounded more like the plot of a very imaginative holo-novel, rather than something which might have actually happened. Finding an ancient relic on a lost alien space station. One which triggered a vision that lead her to a planet with sentient, teleporting wolves. Creatures with an agenda so mysterious, she never had a clue why they were helping her, or where they were leading her. I was ready to end our meeting right there, to be perfectly honest, but she seemed so earnest, so determined I hear what she had to say, I decided to keep listening. If for no other reason than hoping it would put her mind at ease to say her piece."
It was obvious Padme was studying my reaction to what she was saying, but by the time she'd mentioned "Finding an ancient relic on a lost alien space station" I'd gone utterly still. I was allowing the peace of the Force's steady thrum to flow through me, because otherwise, my heart would be trying to hammer it's way right through my rib cage with a fair chance of success. "Gale's" identity was obvious, but disconcerting as it was to realize how dramatically I'd altered her life-path with an hour's worth of pointers, I was having difficulty processing just how far the alteration of events had propagated outside the sphere I'd primarily concerned myself with.
"If this is going where I think it is, I really have no idea what to do about it. Artoo was a bit of an anomaly, but he's a relatively passive actor. Wind's gotten sucked into the heart of a hurricane I created, and now the storm's grown so large, it's reached out to pull Padme in, too." The thoughts running through my head were more than a little worrying, but I dug in, gritted my teeth, and drew my sense of balance up around me like armor. I wasn't an apprentice who could run with a blunder to my Master anymore. This was my responsibility, I was a Jedi Knight, and as always, there were people I respected and admired, people I cared about, people I loved, who were counting on me to prevent the storm from tearing everything apart.
"Gale admitted to omitting the details of what happened with the mystical wolves, then picked up her account with the solving of some sort of puzzle which opened a kind of doorway. One which took her to a place she said she could see past, present, and even future events happening like she watching through windows that looked out onto locations all over the galaxy. All of which seemed to involve her, in one way or another" Padme continued, still watching me quite closely. She waited a few moments to see if I was going to comment, and; when I didn't, pressed on with an answer to my questions which had become a story in and of itself.
"Distracted by a scene of her older self fighting disc-blades to lightsaber against a severely scarred and tattooed Zabrak with multiple prosthetic limbs, she never got a good look at what rammed into her. The glimpse she got from craning her head backward as it gripped her in it's claws while flying off into absolute darkness was of a great winged beast. Luminous, and possessing a stronger Force-presence than anything she could have imagined. The beast flew with her in it's talons for what she said seemed like hours, then there was a sudden, blinding white flash, and the creature suddenly dropped her onto a hard surface which knocked the wind out of her while she couldn't see. By the time she recovered from the fall and could see again, there was no sign of the creature. Just another pathway full of more circular openings looking out onto different places and times."
Padme looked at me expectantly, but I'd been stunned into silence. It was mind-blowing enough to realize my actions had touched off a sequence of events so significant, the kriffing Loth Wolves were acting as the Force's agents to coax Wind through a doorway into the Vergence Scatter which shouldn't have been even be unearthed for another twenty-plus years. The realization that the "luminous winged beast with an unimaginably strong Force-presence" could only be Daughter set my mind to spinning. It was obvious that bright flash had been Her doing something to influence the World Between Worlds, but I had nowhere near enough information to even speculate as to what that might have been, or why She had even involved Herself to begin with. It didn't surprise me the interior of the Vergence Scatter was the exception to the Daughter's and Son's imprisonment, because Their obviously mystical representation was the kriffing portal.
"Obviously, neither the Daughter or the Son can enter or exit the actual portal-ways, as Ezra and Ahsoka would have, because the Son wouldn't have needed a shuttle to escape, otherwise" I silently mused, as I began coming to grips with the fact one of the Mortis Gods seemed to be conspiring with other agents of the Light, for reasons which entirely escaped me.
Mistaking my being shocked speechless for willful reticence, her expression darkened, as Padme exclaimed "The Jedi penchant for simultaneously keeping secrets, yet insisting others be scrupulously honest and open with them, is most definitely not a trait which endears you to many, myself among them. You're quite good at controlling your reactions and micro-expressions, Anakin, but I was trained to read people by the very best. You know about most, if not everything, that I'm telling you, yet you're just sitting there. Mining me for information, while giving nothing back. It's disrespectful and insulting in the extreme, you know!"
I felt her anger then, but not as I normally sensed the emotions of others. This was like one of my own emotions being refracted and reflected back my way. It didn't feel nearly so distinctly other, as the way my empathic gift gleaned and conveyed to me the feelings of other people. Reflexively, I drew more deeply on the ever-flowing, unimaginably vast river of serenity which was the march of the Force's song. Sending that calm, my concern, and caring in the opposite direction from which the anger had just come.
Realization as to what I'd done came a moment too late. "I didn't mean to do that!" I exclaimed with an urgency and alarm that had shattered my own peace as soon as I saw the fire in her eyes momentarily dim, before they widened in outrage, as what had been shooting sparks threatened to become an inferno.
It must have been the near-panic in my voice, or the fact I'd confessed before she'd even processed what had just happened, but I caught today's lucky break, as the outrage cleared from Padme's lovely features. Replaced by a look half-quizzical, and all haunted.
"Explain to me what that was, then, because Warrior Kython assured me my will's too strong for my thoughts and feelings to be manipulated without Force-techniques which would severely damage my psyche. Are you some kind of exception to that rule, because of how strong you are?" The demand was made as graciously as a demand can be, but the question was tainted by a thread of fear I could feel the way I'd experienced her anger. It hurt, knowing I'd made her even a little afraid of me, so I gave her the truth in the hopes it would quell that fear.
"There's a rare phenomena called a Force Bond. Normally, it occurs between two Force-sensitives, but there are extremely rare cases where a Bond has come into being between someone particularly strong in the Force, and a person who isn't Force-sensitive. Generally it's a parent, sibling, or lifelong friend, but on the rarest occasions, simply two people who share a natural emotional rapport. It's a metaphysical connection which allows the individuals in question to feel the others emotions, sense their proximity and the general direction in which they can be found, even hear each others thoughts, in the case of an extremely developed bond. I give you my word as a Jedi, that there's nothing coercive about a Force Bond. That was simply my own calm and concern, pushed in your direction. I didn't even realize what I was doing, I promise you, Padme" I explained earnestly. My eyes meeting hers, as I silently pleaded with her to believe me.
When she didn't immediately respond, I went on quietly and a little more hesitantly "I wasn't positive about it until you got angry with me for not responding to your account, but I'd begun to suspect it was there on the flight back. I know you may not be ready to hear this, but our feelings for, and attraction to each other isn't a result of the Force Bond. The Force Bond is the result of those feelings, that attraction, being mutual."
"Can it be broken?" Padme asked in a quiet, very reserved way. Breaking eye-contact, and taking a step back as she did so.
It was a simple, logical, natural question, but after what she'd said before, it caught me off-guard. I successfully fought to keep the pain of the rejection implicit to her question off my face, but didn't account for her feeling it through the Bond.
"Oh, Anakin, I didn't mean it that way! It's simply a lot to take in, and I want to know what's happening. If you'd actually engaged with me while I was telling you about everything Gale told me, rather than just standing there cold and detached as any Jedi doing their duty, you'd know why I kept trying to approach you, as well as why it drove me to distraction that you were avoiding me!" Padme quickly responded, hands on hips as she seemed to be caught somewhere between exasperation with, and a desire to reassure me.
My brow furrowing at this unexpected return to the previous topic, I nevertheless answered her question before getting around to asking what Gale's story had to do with this.
"Breaking a Force Bond requires in our case either killing the emotions, attraction, and rapport which brought it into being, or one of our deaths. Even then, things wouldn't go back to the way they were before. There would be this, absence, where the Bond had been. Think of it like a raised ridge of forever sensitive scar tissue, but in your mind." I thought my reply was admirably clinical, but the very thought made the Force's song grow a little shriller and less harmonious, as if it too shared my revulsion for the prospect.
After a moment, I decided more was required to give her a full picture. "You should also know the Force Bond will develop and grow stronger over time. The stronger and more entrenched it grows, the greater the resulting wound, if it's subsequently broken. Avoiding each other completely, while consciously exerting effort not to so much as think about each other could slow that process, but now that it's no longer nascent, and we're actively experiencing the other's emotions, that wouldn't be enough on it's own to break the Bond. The, the cultivation of an active antipathy would be required, and even that might not work."
"Is, is that something you want to happen?" She wouldn't look at me as she asked the question, but her voice was steady while she did so. It was the first and only time I'd ever seen her look uncertain and at all off-balance. Something I found intensely endearing, as I realized she was doing what I'd been doing only a few moments ago.
"It's absolutely amazing how mature adults can harbor so much insecurity, when it comes to the prospect of being rejected by the one we want" I found myself thinking.
Taking several steps closer to her, I quietly replied with feeling "I could never hate you, Padme, and I don't think I would cope well, with you hating me. If it had been up to me, this would still have happened, but later. When there was no chance of your wondering if you only feel this way because of some rare Force-phenomena, or of you feeling trapped by something you didn't choose. You need to understand, I'm one of the strongest empaths in the Jedi Order. I would have to maintain a conscious, draining, minute-by-minute effort to avoid sensing your every emotion. In my mind, this will just even things out."
Instead of replying to what I'd just said, she dropped another bombshell. "The pathway Gale was dropped onto? The windows opened onto my life, Anakin. She told me things not even my family and oldest friends know. Things absolutely no one else should know. The utterly banal non-events, the life-changing moments, and everything in-between."
Stepping close enough another half-step would have allowed her to rest her head on my chest, she craned her neck to look up at me, then went on in a soft voice "She told me about hundreds of possible future moments she saw while wandering the path as she looked for a way out. On her path, she'd been able to stick her arms through windows, but on mine, they were like mirrors. Gale would get this far away look in her eyes for a few moments, then recite descriptions including the most amazing amount of detail. Insignias people wore, weapons people carried, even the times displayed on any visible public chronometers far in the background
I could sense the urgency behind what she was telling me, but I found myself holding my breath at the thought of what Wind might have said with access to that many possible futures. Especially if the Zeison Sha Warrior who'd trained her had managed to persuade her to adopt their irrational hatred of the Jedi.
"What did Gale tell you, Padme?" The question was asked calmly and directly, but being this close to her was making dispassionate objectivity more difficult than it should have been. It was becoming hard to tear my thoughts away from how easy it would be to snatch her up in my arms and kiss her, but I knew this was extremely important, so challenging as it was, I resisted the temptation.
Still looking up at me, her reply was direct and to the point. "She said there seemed to be a few constants in my future. A willingness to take risks. Attracting the attention of dangerous people, with nefarious aims. An abundance of dangerous situations which put my life in danger. Helping to bring about great advances for the common good."
Studying me with the acuity of a med-scanner, as she went on "Sometimes dying young while living up to my ideals."
It was an unpleasant prospect I knew would only grow more painful in time, but I was old enough to understand a few things about love and relationships.
"You either accept and cherish someone for who and what they are, or you don't really care about them. Just what they make you feel. That isn't love, that's a suffocating, shallow, self-centered emotional dependency. I would do everything I morally could to protect you. Right up to the moment you said Anakin, Stop. If you have no respect for a person's autonomy, you have no respect for that person, and without respect, nothing more is possible. I haven't spent my entire life training to protect the freedom of others, so I could then turn around and claim I had a right to deny that freedom to someone I professed to have feelings for." The words came from my heart, but it had been a very long time since I'd had cause to say anything like them.
Looking at me with a bit more surprise than I would have liked, Padme commented in her best diplomat's voice "I don't mean any offense, truly, but that's a good deal more than I would expect someone younger than me, raised by people who have an actual rule against romantic attachments to know about healthy relationship dynamics. Where did you learn that, if you don't mind my asking?"
I looked back at her, then said carefully "I promised you there would be no more misleading statements. Now, I'm giving you my word I will never lie to you. With that said, I am absolutely certain you'll believe I'm either lying or delusional, if I answer your question honestly, now. Can I promise to tell you when the Force Bond has developed to the point you'll be able to not only sense I'm being truthful, but that my mind is sufficiently ordered to preclude the possibility of my suffering from an inability to separate reality and fantasy?"
Before she could respond, I quickly added "It took the Master-Apprentice Force Bond, and Master Yoda having access to a Force-relic which amplified his ability to read minds a thousandfold, for Master Dark Woman and the Grandmaster to consider me sane and completely truthful about this, Padme. We're talking about something considerably more unbelievable than someone visiting another dimension where they witnessed the past, present, and possible futures happening. I want to tell you, I promise I will tell you, but I can't convince you in the twelve minutes remaining before what will need to be a brisk walk to meet Master Jinn."
"I'm going to hold you to that promise." It was a sharp declaration of intent, but also an acceptance of my judgment in the matter. Something which elicited a grateful smile from me.
Deciding to pull things back from the somber and negative, I took a deep breath, then committed to my chosen course.
"I know Gale undoubtedly told you about a few tragedies and nightmare scenarios, but there were a great many other possibilities she would have witnessed. Would you like to tell me what's been on the tip of your tongue more than twenty-five times since I first showed up after your evening of dinner espionage?" I asked the question softly, with a smile meant to be encouraging, but what I received in response was a sudden look of sorrow and remorse.
"This entire conversation shouldn't have happened. I was wrong, selfish, and stupid besides, to start encouraging you like this, Anakin. It's not going to turn out anything like Gale described, because the only thing as inevitable as the High Council discovering you're breaking the rules, is the outcome once they do. When you're actually confronted with choosing between a relationship a few weeks or months old, and remaining a Jedi, it isn't going to be any choice at all." Padme's voice was almost a whisper, but while the sadness and regret in her voice was genuine, I felt something ever so much stronger buried beneath her other feelings.
Before I could reply, she hurried on "I can't even say you'd be wrong to choose the Jedi. Not and even pretend to care about anything but my own selfish desires. You've spent your entire life training to become a Jedi Knight. Now, when you've finally achieved your goal, I should, what? Convince you to put all of that in jeopardy, because we're infatuated with each other? Besides, I'm not willing to be your dalliance until the Council's discovery puts you to the moment of decision, and the only decision which could make this anything but the dalliance which will hurt us both, is the one which ruins your entire life. It's a non-starter, Anakin. You see that, don't you?"
I was tempted to get angry, because she was trying to hide behind the Order's doctrine, make my decisions for me, then pretend it was all for my own good. The problem with that was being able to sense the crawling fear and near panic growing like a lengthening shadow in her mind. The dark emotions were so intense, they fed her most cynical assessments, smothered hope, and drowned out other equally strong emotions. I knew she believed the things she'd said, but they were things she was forcing herself to believe, because that was easier than dealing with possibility of really falling for me, then being cast aside.
It only took the smallest of half-steps forward to eliminate what little space remained between us, but I took my time in dipping my head toward hers. It was an appeal, not a demand. One I gave this lovely, yet ever so conflicted woman all the time in the world to refuse. Denying me would have taken no more than a fingertip's pressure on my chest, or the slightest twisting aside of her head.
Our lips met, and hers were as just as soft as I'd imagined they'd be. There was maybe a half-second Padme stayed stiff and nearly still, then she relaxed into me, her arms were around my neck, and everything caught fire. It was an objectively perfect kiss, but much as I was thrilled by the kiss, I truly adored feeling that black fear and choking doubt being chased out of her head by want that was rapidly becoming need.
The tiny rational splinter of me observing this from the cheap-seats kept insisting no one had chemistry like this right out of the gate. I was sharply conscious of the way we just seemed to fit together hand in glove, and effortless was too weak a word to describe the way I just lost myself in her each minute reaction.
When we finally broke the kiss, both of us were flushed and breathing hard, but I was keenly aware of her eyes on me. Before the doubt could begin reasserting itself, I told her what I felt.
"That was me making a choice. It's not one I'm ever going to regret" I said with clear affection as our eyes met.
A shadow flitted across her features, as she quietly responded "What about the Council, Anakin?"
My smile was comforting and encouraging, as I confidently answered "Let me worry about the Council. I think you'll find that things are more complicated than you've been lead to believe."
"If you're sure that's what you want. I just need you to understand I need some time to think and process, if we're going to make this work." Padme replied. Looking at me in a way that made my heart skip a beat.
"Whatever you need. Now, why don't we take a walk?" I replied. Filled with a warmth I'd almost forgotten.
A/N: I want to make it clear I have near-zero experience writing romance. I agonized over this chapter, and yes, I seriously thought twice, then thrice, about everything I included. If you hate it, and want to tell me so, at least be constructive, and take with you the knowledge this was the product of COUNTLESS rewrites. I am as happy with it as I'm going to get, but I want to assure people my promise concerning no Act 2 lightning-weddings still holds.
I haven't made any secret SI-Anakin was going to be rather Gray in some of his thinking. I hope the chapter worked for everyone, but if not, well, I tried
I wanted to get to the meeting with the Council this chapter, but as you can see, it ran to 8,200+ words. Letting it get any bigger wasn't going to help matters.