The Shen family sent their old carriage again. The paint was fading on one side, and the cushion inside had lost most of its shape. But the horse was strong, and the driver didn't ask questions.
That alone made it better than the Bai family.
I stepped in without help. No one from the Bai household came to see me off. Not even the steward. They already considered me gone - again.
The streets of Yinxin City were busy. Peddlers were shouting, steam floated from breakfast stalls, and children ran barefoot. The sky was a little cloudy, but people were smiling.
I watched it all through the small window of the carriage.
These people lived in a world that did not need me.
The Shen family estate was built on higher ground, past the scholar quarter. Its walls were made of red clay bricks, lined with tall pine trees. The guards at the gate wore clean robes and sharp expressions.
They let me in without asking my name. Maybe they knew my face. Maybe they didn't care enough to stop someone they thought already lost.
A young steward led me through a side path. We didn't enter the main courtyard. He didn't say a word. His footsteps were light and fast. I had to walk quickly just to keep up.
We reached a plain study room. One table, two stools, no tea.
He bowed once and disappeared like smoke.
I stood and waited. The room smelled faintly of ink and dry bamboo.
After a while, someone stepped out from behind the curtain.
"Third Miss Bai."
It was Shen Qingyan.
He wore a pale grey robe. His belt was tight, his sleeves clean. His hair was tied back with a single jade pin.
He looked like a man with no time for extra words.
I bowed. "Young Master Shen."
He didn't ask me to rise.
"I heard you survived."
"I did."
He stared at me for a long moment. "Did you know the Bai family sent me a new letter?"
"I expected it."
He held up the letter. The wax seal had already been broken.
"Your family offered to renew our engagement. My uncle thinks it is worth considering."
"Do you agree?"
"I do not."
He folded the letter once, twice, without tearing it.
"Your voice is different," he said. "You speak less now."
"I find silence easier to manage."
His lips lifted slightly. It wasn't a smile. Just something close.
"You know, when we were engaged the first time, you tried to impress me by writing poetry."
I nodded.
"You quoted three wrong classics and called snow 'silver mud.'"
"I had a fever."
"You had arrogance."
"Now I have porridge."
Shen Qingyan blinked. That was the closest thing I'd seen to surprise on his face.
"Did death sharpen your tongue?"
"It sharpened my understanding."
He dropped the folded letter on the table.
"I rejected their offer," he said. "But I did not tear it. You're not mine to destroy."
"That's generous."
"I'm not generous. I just dislike loose ends."
"And I'm a loose end?"
"You were."
I didn't look away. "Then what am I now?"
"A mystery."
That silenced us both.
He turned to pour himself tea. There was only one cup.
"You can stay in the city if you want," he said. "But don't go back to the Bai house. They'll throw you out again when you stop being useful."
"Where should I go?"
"Not my concern," he said. "But if you plan to die again, do it quietly. The last time caused a lot of trouble."
I bowed again. "Then I'll try to die more politely next time."
He raised the teacup halfway, paused, then set it down.
"You've changed."
"No," I said. "This is who I always was. The one you saw before - that was someone pretending for you to like her."
He didn't argue.
"You may leave," he said.
I turned to go.
But before I reached the door, he spoke again. "The old scholar who used to teach you still runs a bookshop near the eastern bridge. He might not hate you as much as your family does."
"Is that advice?"
"It's a suggestion. Don't get used to it."
I nodded and left.