The sun had barely peeked over the horizon when Saiki Kusuo decided that today, instead of exploring the far corners of the Cardinal World or people-watching in a busy marketplace, he was going to follow one… particular… individual. Someone who, at first glance, didn't seem impressive at all, but had somehow managed to hold Saiki's interest.
That person was none other than Gobta.
Saiki, floating invisibly behind him with a cup of coffee jelly in one hand, thought to himself, Out of all the people in this kingdom, why am I following this guy? I can literally hear the thoughts of the most powerful Demon Lords, and yet here I am shadowing a goblin who thinks "stealth" means crouching slightly.
It started early. Gobta woke up in his small but cozy quarters, stretching his arms and yawning like he'd just run a marathon in his dreams. He smacked his lips, looked around, and muttered, "Alright… breakfast time."
But instead of heading to the dining hall like a normal citizen, Gobta tiptoed out and began creeping toward the kitchen. His "stealth" consisted of him crouching low, arms spread out like a cartoon thief, and peeking around corners dramatically.
Saiki sighed. If Shuna doesn't see him coming, I'll be impressed. He's practically announcing himself with every exaggerated step.
Gobta entered the kitchen like a soldier infiltrating enemy territory, eyes darting left and right. Then he spotted them—freshly baked sweet buns cooling on the counter. His grin widened.
"Oh-ho-ho… jackpot." He reached out slowly—
"Gobta."
The voice of Shuna came from behind him like a divine judgment. Gobta froze mid-reach, sweat dripping down his forehead.
"O-Oh hey, Shuna! Didn't see you there… uh… I was just… making sure these weren't poisoned!"
Shuna folded her arms. "Poisoned?"
"Yup! You know, royal food safety and all. I'm basically a hero."
Saiki spooned another bite of coffee jelly into his mouth. That's… not even remotely convincing.
Shuna gave him the look, the one that said, "I know exactly what you're doing, and I'm going to let you live, but only barely." Eventually, she sighed and handed him a single bun.
"Just take this one. And stop sneaking around my kitchen."
Gobta took it like he had just been handed the crown jewels. "Thanks, Shuna! You're the best!"
After breakfast, it was "training time." Or at least, it was supposed to be. Gobta had other plans.
He slinked around the courtyard, trying to blend in with barrels, walls, and sometimes just standing still and pretending to be a statue.
Yeah, that's not going to work, Saiki thought.
And sure enough, within two minutes, Hakuro appeared behind him.
"Gobta."
Gobta jumped like a cat who'd been sprayed with water. "Ah! Hakuro! I was just… stretching before training!"
"Stretching? While hiding behind a barrel?"
Hakuro's eyes narrowed before he simply grabbed Gobta by the back of his collar. "Let's go."
And so began Gobta's morning drills—dodging wooden sword strikes, practicing footwork, and running laps around the training grounds while complaining loudly about how "unfair" it all was.
Saiki hovered nearby, sipping the last of his coffee jelly. He complains, he struggles, but somehow, he doesn't quit. That's… oddly respectable. In a very pathetic way.
By midday, Gobta swapped his training gear for his uniform—yes, Gobta was also the local "policeman." He strutted through town with his chest puffed out, greeting citizens like a celebrity.
"Good morning, Officer Gobta!"
"Morning! Don't worry, folks, your hero's on duty!"
Saiki tilted his head. Hero? You chased your own tail this morning trying to hide from Hakuro.
Sometimes Gobta patrolled serious-looking, hands on his hips, scanning for trouble. Other times… he just got distracted.
He spotted a group of kids playing and immediately joined in, chasing them around and letting them "defeat" him in an epic pretend battle. The children cheered when he dramatically "died" in the street.
Later, he cornered a group of tourists, offering them a "special tour" of the Storm Kingdom. His tour was… creative.
"And here's the palace wall! Fun fact: I once stood on top of it during a siege and scared the enemy away just by flexing."
Saiki blinked. That… never happened.
The tourists clapped anyway.
As the sun set, Gobta finished his patrol and returned to the tavern for dinner, telling anyone who would listen about his "heroic" day. He exaggerated every detail, from the "high-speed kitchen infiltration mission" to "training so hard the ground cracked beneath him."
Saiki floated in the corner, invisible as ever, thinking, He's ridiculous. But… the kingdom wouldn't be as lively without him.
The next day....
The sun rose lazily over the Storm Kingdom, its golden light spilling across the cobblestone streets. Gobta yawned loudly as he adjusted his "official" patrol hat, which was actually just a slightly bent cap Shuna had sewn for him. Today was another day of "protecting the peace," as he liked to call it… but in reality, it usually meant wandering around, looking important, and somehow getting into weird situations.
What Gobta didn't know, however, was that he was about to have the luckiest day of his life—thanks to a certain invisible pink-haired psychic quietly tailing him.
Gobta strolled down the main street, hands in pockets, whistling a tune he just made up. Saiki floated along behind, sipping on a coffee jelly cup.
Gobta spotted a bakery cart.
"Ohhh, is that the new honey bread? Man, I'm broke though…"
As he sighed and walked past, the baker accidentally tripped, launching a fresh loaf right toward the street. Before it could hit the ground, Saiki tilted it telekinetically so it flew directly into Gobta's hands.
"Oh! Free bread?!" Gobta grinned, biting into it without question. "See? The world just rewards heroes like me!"
Saiki rolled his eyes, "Yare yare. It's called gravity… plus a little help from me."
Hakuro was already waiting at the training grounds, arms crossed.
"Gobta. You're late."
"Oh no, Master Hakuro, I, uh… saw a suspicious squirrel and had to chase it away! Dangerous animal control, you know?" Gobta tried to slip past.
Hakuro grabbed his shoulder—except, suddenly, a loud CRASH echoed from across the yard. A training dummy had "mysteriously" fallen over and rolled into the weapon rack, scattering swords everywhere.
Hakuro sighed. "Clean that up, Gobta. We'll… postpone training for now."
"Yes! I mean—yes, sir!" Gobta saluted, walking away a little too cheerfully.
Saiki floated overhead, adjusting his glasses. "You're welcome."
Gobta was walking his "route" when he noticed a group of kids trying to pull their ball out of a tree.
"Don't worry, children! Officer Gobta will save the day!"
He jumped, flailing hopelessly at the branch. Saiki, bored, flicked the ball loose with a tiny psychic push, letting it drop perfectly into Gobta's hands.
"See? Precision rescue!" Gobta puffed out his chest.
"Woooah, Gobta's amazing!" the kids cheered.
Saiki spooned another bite of coffee jelly, "Yare yare...If they only knew their hero needed a floating babysitter."
Near sunset, Gobta spotted a suspicious-looking man sneaking out of an alley with stolen fruit. He hesitated—he wasn't sure if he should confront him.
Before he could decide, Saiki telekinetically tripped the man, sending him sprawling face-first into a cabbage cart. Gobta casually walked over and put a hand on his hip.
"Aha! Caught you red-handed! Or, uh… cabbage-handed?"
The townsfolk clapped as Gobta "arrested" the thief.
Gobta returned home, absolutely convinced he was having the greatest patrol day in history. He flopped onto his bed, grinning.
"Man, I'm just… naturally awesome."
Saiki stood in the corner, invisible, sipping his last coffee jelly of the day. "Yare yare...If only you knew, Gobta… if only you knew."
For once, Saiki smiled faintly to himself before disappearing into the night, leaving Gobta to his stories and laughter.