The day started normally enough.
Birds chirping.
Café windows fogged from fresh muffins.
Naomi sleep-talking something about dream-dating a marshmallow prince.
I had just finished prepping the cinnamon star rolls when she stumbled down the stairs in her blanket burrito form and yawned.
"Morning," she mumbled.
"Still human?" I asked.
"Debatable."
I passed her a glowing tea mug and smiled. She sipped, blinked, and suddenly straightened.
"There's… something on the door."
I followed her gaze.
And there it was. A glowing envelope.
Floating.
Spinning lazily in the air.
Emitting sparkles like it had watched too many fantasy dramas.
Naomi reached out and it gently dropped into her hand.
She opened it.
---
The Invitation
Inside: a thick card. Gold-trimmed. Elegant cursive.
> To Reika E. and Esteemed Companion,<
By recognition of prior deeds, disruptions, desserts, and deviations from common logic,
you are formally invited to the Grand Archive of Atheria for a full record review.
Please arrive in your least flammable clothing.
—Archkeeper Inkwell
P.S. We've updated your title list.
Naomi stared at me.
"You have a title list?"
"Please don't make me say them out loud."
Naturally, she insisted we go immediately.
---
The Archive
It was located at the edge of the city—an enormous tree-library hybrid with rotating staircases, whispering parchment walls, and owls that judged you for dog-earing pages.
We were guided by a floating bookmark.
A very smug one.
A short elderly man in a massive quill-shaped hat greeted us at the entrance.
"Ah, Lady Reika. And her... mortal accomplice."
"I'm her best friend," Naomi said cheerfully. "And occasional chaos manager."
The man gave a knowing nod. "We've been expecting you. Follow me to the Records of Disturbance & Distinction."
Naomi was way too excited.
---
The Title Room
A golden plaque above the door read:
Catalogue of Honorifics: Reika of Elsewhere
Naomi practically bounced.
"Honorifics? How many do you even have?"
"I stopped counting around Chapter 12."
The room inside lit up as we entered.
Glowing scrolls unfurled from thin air and began reading themselves aloud.
Loudly.
> "Reika the Custard Challenger."
"Reika the Pudding Provoker."
"Lady of the Croissant Uprising."
"The One Who Bribed the Jellyfish Council."
"Honorary Crumb Queen of the Sky Baker's Guild."
"Protector of the Leftover Tea."
"The One Who Sneezed and Froze Time for a Whole Market."
Naomi had fallen to her knees, wheezing.
I covered my face. "I said stop."
The scrolls ignored me.
"Muffin Diplomat to the Flour Folk."
"She Who Accidentally Sat on the Eternal Scone."
"The Sparkle Storm."
"Snackbreaker."
"The Girl With the Impossible Coupons."
"Chaos Catalyst of the Quiet Café."
Naomi was now crying into a tissue one of the books had handed her.
"You're a legend, Reika. I thought you just made good toast!"
"I do make good toast!" I protested.
But the scrolls continued:
"Uncrowned Duchess of Delicious Mayhem."
"Reika of Elsewhere."
The last one echoed for a moment.
The room fell quiet.
Naomi stood and looked at me, eyes wide. "They've named you after your origin."
"Yeah," I said softly. "That was the first one. Chapter 1. When I showed up out of nowhere and accidentally solved a squabble with soup."
She smiled gently.
"…I'm glad I get to be here for the rest of your titles."
---
That Evening
We walked home from the Archive under a pink dusk sky.
Naomi munched on sugar quills she'd snuck from the librarian gift shop.
I carried a parchment with my updated record and a gentle reminder from the Archivist not to start "any more snack-based revolutions without advance notice."
Naomi elbowed me. "Think they'll ever give me a title?"
I grinned. "They already have."
She blinked.
I held up a tiny scroll she'd missed from earlier.
"Naomi the Steadfast: First Witness to the Elseworld Walker."
She looked at it.
Then at me.
Then grinned so hard I thought the sky might break open with sparkles.
"Not bad," she said. "But I'm aiming for 'Princess of Pancakes.'"
"You'll earn it," I laughed.