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Chapter 6 - Waking Up

Cain clutched his head after screaming out like that, tears silently flowed down his face. 

Then all of the sudden, strong, warm slender arms wrapped around his shivering frame, pulling him into a tight hug. 

"Please, tell me what's wrong."

Maevis's voice was surprisingly soft for a change, and in Cain's mind, this was a rarity. It calmed that side of him down, but the memories of what had happened to him back on earth, losing his family and then dying like that… it was all too much, so the crying wouldn't stop, not anytime soon. 

His voice was chopped up and stuttered as he tried speaking.

"I-I'm sorry… it hurts, too much…"

He was able to mutter those words before letting his body sink into her warm embrace. He did not remember the last time he had gotten to hug Miss Maevis like this, maybe when he was younger than now. Through sobs buried in her warmth, he was able to sincerely express his emotions. Her long-white dreadlocks almost served as a blanket to hide him away.

Although Cain and Leo's minds were now one, it only meant that the strange process of the combining of their unique consciousness had become complete. It did not guarantee a peaceful balance, or give the boy a strong discernment of who he originally was. 

Did Cain wake up with Leo's memories? Meaning he was still Cain? Or did Leo die and wake up in this body with Cain's memories, meaning he was still Leo? 

'I can't tell… I don't understand, who– which one am I!? Why is this happening!?'

He clutched onto Maevis's arms as he sobbed. 

She had seemingly decided to let him cry, before questioning him again.

As Cain was crying, the warmth he felt from hugging Miss Maevis slowly began to remind him more and more of when he would cry into his mothers chest as a younger kid. Not remembering the specifics back then on why he was crying, he had probably gotten bullied again at school for his white hair. But nonetheless, it almost felt the same, her warmth, and the strength that he could feel from her embrace.

Suddenly Cain jolted back, not bothering to wipe the tears flowing down his face as he shifted away in the chair from Maevis with an almost horrified expression.

"You're not my mother!

Maevis's eyes slightly widened. Her brows furrowed in confusion rather than anger. It was true that she was not the boy's mother, but nevertheless she had raised him to this point. The same goes with the rest of the children in the orphanage. 

They do not call her mother, of course, she's addressed as Miss Maevis. However, if any of the children were to have an idea of what it was like to have a mother, Maevis was it.

"What's wrong with you?" She said, her tone a mix of stern and softness.

Cain's eyes widened slightly, as if shocked by his own words.

'What… Why did I say that? She's… no, she isn't? But she is– or, she might as well be-'

'I-I have a mom though, her name is Everyn… Wait, no, that was his mom? But I am him…'

'How is this possible… It's like I'm two people, at the same time. oh- oh my god I'm gonna be sick…'

Just then Cain tried to swallow down his saliva but couldn't hold it in and immediately found what he thought and then knew to be a small trash bin in the corner of the bedroom. Emptying his stomach.

Maevis watched this with an extremely worried expression. After he was done, she gently took him by the shoulders and brought him to the edge of the bed.

"Speak, now!" 

Her usual bluntness was back, only this time she had to be strict, so he would finally talk to her.

Cain was still crying silently, but this time he gathered himself to look up at her silver eyes.

"I'm sorry… I didn't mean that, I… something is wrong with me, Miss-"

She gently brought him back into her embrace before he could finish speaking. It was obvious that it was hard for him to do just that.

"Something's happened… I-I have memories of someone… I don't know!"

His voice rose and dipped as he tried to control his sobbing but it didn't work. 

Maevis comforted him as she held onto every word, trying desperately to understand what was bothering him right now. 

"You have memories? Memories that aren't yours?"

Cain nodded his head against her frame as he was still crying.

Maevis's eyes narrowed in thought as she comforted the boy.

"Who's are they?"

The boy took deep breaths as he tried to gather himself to respond.

"Another…kid. We are the same age but, h-he died.."

"It was dragons…"

"B-But I remember everything…"

"His whole life…like, it was my l-life."

"It was my life,"

"Our lives…"

"Miss Maevis, I don't know who I am…"

He couldn't finish his rambling, his shuddering voice collapsed into crying again.

As he held onto her through choked sobs, Maevis listened to him while in deep thought, she had a solemn expression. As if she had an idea of what may have happened.

"You are Cain, okay? Not some other boy, I am looking at Cain right now, you understand?"

She said sincerely while squishing his face. The boy stared at her for a while as silent tears flowed before nodding. 

Someone reminding him like this, would have to do, for now.

"I might be able to find someone to help you, but you have to wait till later tomorrow."

"For now, try and go back to sleep and tell me in the morning how you-"

However, before she could finish speaking, Cain held on tighter and spoke quietly through a strained voice.

"Please… Don't leave me alone, not yet…"

The woman's gaze suddenly softened as he did this. She had never seen him in such pain before. Pain that didn't come physically, it was something deeper, in the soul. Something she was all too familiar with seeing throughout her life in others. But never did she think she'd see it in one of her children.

"Alright."

—--------

That next morning now as Cain was waking up. 

His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed, lashes clumped together with dried tears. The skin beneath them was tender, bruised with shadowy smudges. He had cried his way through the whole night, barely even remembering if he had actually slept or not. 

Miss Maevis was gone, she most likely had woken up early to start the day. After all, he was not the only kid in this place. He was still in her room, laying in her large bed, the scent of her mixed into the thin sheets. It was oddly comforting.

For a brief moment, as soon as he woke up, there was peace in his mind. The warm morning light shone softly on his face from outside the window. For those couple seconds he felt clear, it was as if everything that happened last night was just a bad dream.

However, the serenity did not last. As he slowly began to wake up more, all the memories came rushing back in, and he was once again struck with that ill feeling of confusion and sorrow. It was hard, having someone else practically fused with you, even if it was only in mind and not body.

He knew that physically, he was in Cain's body. And although that was a slight consolation, it was still not enough to combat the overwhelming emotions and reality of his situation. For one, it was frightening, how did this happen? Humans naturally fear the unknown, adults included, so it was only more natural that a child would be beyond terrified.

Along with the fear and confusion of what he had gone through, there was also the constant mental battle of trying to discern who exactly he was. Or more specifically, who he wanted to be. He had been Cain his whole life, and Cain wanted to act and do things like Cain did. But then he had also been Leo his whole life, and Leo wanted the exact same thing. How could he just "choose" who to be?

It would feel like a betrayal to one or the other, as if abandoning himself. It was a very consuming matter, one that, if the boy even tried comprehending further, he would puke again.

'Why did this happen… God I hope this just goes away soon. Please, I don't want to keep feeling like this…'

'I'll just f-figure it out later… It's too scary to think about!'

The boy left the large bed and looked around Miss Maevis's room. None of the kids were used to being in here, only when they'd get in trouble during the night. But now that he had been left to sleep in, Cain was free to "explore." A part of him felt like he could brag about this later to the other kids, but then he found his slightly high spirits immediately overshadowed by the ill emotions of grief and sorrow that would not be going away anytime soon. He had just lost his family, after all. 

The room was small but spacious. There was the wide bed of course, with two nightstands oddly made out of stone on either side. A mighty longsword, laying in its sheath on the side of the bed in between a nightstand. Looking above the bed, on the wall, hanging off a protruding nail, was a black-shiny obsidian crown.

And to the left of the bed at the end of the room, instead of a wall, there was a wide window with no curtains or frames. Feeding the light within.

Rathshaw was a small, isolated island off the Velmoran coast. The orphanage sat on this hill with a beautiful view, overlooking it from Miss Maevis's bedroom.

This hill was north, almost at the end of the island. It nestled nicely in a tall grass and tree area. Almost hidden from the rest of the island's main life.

From the window, Cain could just barely make out the edge of Rathshaw's main city. Slightly peeking out through the tall tropical trees, far down the hill and about 180 meters to the right. Tall wooden shaft houses, or poor excuses for buildings peeked out down there. That place was called Old Crown Row - the heart of the island on its eastern edge. You could find and meet all kinds of people and pirates down there.

And most strikingly, an old, fat pirate ship that appeared to be sitting in the trees down there. Attached and held up by two tall ones.

Cain was naturally aware of this information, but even though that was the case, he still felt a slight wonder as if seeing these things for the first time. It was as if he was continuously being reminded of information he seldom forgot. And far off into the distance, although he couldn't see it, he knew that was where The Rookslums were. 

Once a noble district, now a ruin nestled in the western side of the island. That place was rarely visited by anyone on the island, only home to a certain special group of people.

And finally on the south end of the island was "The Maw." Which was just a stupid nickname given by the pirates for the docks, which was once a trading port.

It had been made pretty clear throughout Cain's life here at the orphanage, that it was forbidden to go down to any populated areas on the island. Only some of the eldest of them would be taken once a month to go with Miss Maevis on a shopping or hunting trip.

But enough about that for now, right about now was usually the time to eat. 

Cain reluctantly got up from Miss Maevis's bed and made a left turn out the door frame. The hallway was spacious enough and made out of thick wood. The cold stone floor could be felt under his feet as he walked through the unfamiliar, yet familiar orphanage. 

He started to instantly remember and recognize a few things on the way. But until he'd see something again, he wouldn't know what was there. He simply blamed the confusion on whatever happened to him last night and continued walking.

The hallways were dimly lit with lanterns, and once Cain had reached the middle of the orphanage, he stood and observed. He knew this was "the middle" because standing there, he could see four different turns into four different spacious hallways, and he had just come out of one of them. Behind him, on the first left, were the dorms where all the kids slept. Then at the end of that hallway on the right was Miss Maevis's bedroom - where Cain had just come out of. The only rooms in the orphanage that had doors were the ones with beds in them, and the exit. 

Everything else was just an open doorway.

Then in front of him going straight, that hallway had turns leading into the dining area and the kitchen. The dining area was on the first right, it was hard to miss it, seeing how it was a wide and spacious hall. As for the kitchen it was farther down that hallway on the right as well. 

So the dorms and bedrooms behind him, then the dining area and kitchen in front of him. But what did the hallways that were to the right and left of him have? 

Those hallways were different, because for the ones behind and in front of him they ended at a dead end. Meanwhile, the hallways to the right and left of him went farther down and had turns. The hallway to the right had a left turn all the way down it, and the hallway to the left had a right one. 

Cain decided to quickly go see what was down one of them before going into the dining area, where loud talking could be heard. 

Choosing the hallway to the left, he walked down it and after reaching the right turn, looked over and remembered. That was where the exit and entrance leading outside was - which was at the end. Then to the right of it was a storage room. He went up to the exit door and slightly opened it, peering outside, hot tropical air instantly flooded his face. After adjusting his eyes, he saw the outdoor area. 

Outside on the right was a small area where the grass was lower, this was where laundry was done. Clothes hanging out to dry. Cain did not pay that much attention though, he was looking at the tall grass and trees out in front of him. The beauty of the sight was a little comforting, along with the warm air on his face.

'I can barely remember the last time I felt this warm outside…'

'It used to be so cold… in that place.'

Memories of Leo and his family having to cuddle up to create any bit of warmth flashed faintly in his mind as he took in a breath of fresh air. Two subtle tears escaped down his face. 

'I wish they were here, to feel this warm too.'

Suddenly as Cain was about to go back inside, the door creaked open behind him as it opened up and a voice called out.

"Cain, you out here?"

A slightly older voice sounded as a person stepped outside. It was Gabriel, he was one of the kids here at the orphanage. Immediately wiping his tears before turning around, he nodded silently as a swell of emotions filled him. Looking at him, Cain saw his dark brown eyes and long curly blonde hair. His skin was similarly white to Cain's, sharing that same light tan as well.

At first it was immediate familiarity, after all, Cain had known him his whole life. But then on the other end as Leo, he felt a little disconnected. It was a strange feeling, meeting someone you've known your whole life seemingly for the first time. 

After nodding he followed Gabriel back inside.

"I saw you heading down here from the eating room."

Gabriel said as he and Cain started heading back inside, probably to then go into the dining area. All the kids in the orphanage ranged from ages ten to fourteen. With Gabriel being the only fourteen-year-old, making him the oldest.

Cain was silent on the walk back until they reached the middle of the orphanage, where he had previously stood before choosing to explore what was down the left hallway. 

"Um, do you remember what is down that hallway?"

Cain said as he looked and nodded over towards the hallway that he wasn't able to "explore" yet.

"Uh, yeah? That's where the training hall and the bathrooms are."

Gabriel said with a slight yawn.

"Why? You forgot? Haha you seriously had a bad night huh?"

Cain didn't respond as he silently tried to remember what the training hall and bathrooms looked like. But once Gabriel had reminded him of their existence, their images slowly faded back into his mind.

"Oh, okay I remember now."

Cain simply said with a sigh as he began walking to the dining hall now. 

"Hey, you alright? You know we all heard you screaming last night right?"

Gabriel said with a slightly skeptical side eye.

Cain took some time to respond before they reached the wide entrance to the hall.

"Yeah… It was a really bad dream. B-But I think Miss Maevis is helping me feel better."

Cain said while in thought. Gabriel suddenly laughed as he patted Cain's back. 

"If Miss Maevis is making you feel better then it was definitely a horrible nightmare."

Cain suddenly shifted away from his touch.

'Wait, why did I do that? It's just Gabe-'

Gabriel noticed his strange behavior.

"Uh, you good?"

Cain nodded slightly in response. 

"I-I'm fine, just still a little messed up from the dream."

He said as he left Gabriel's side and walked into the dining hall. 

Suddenly, familiar faces and voices filled his mind as he stepped into the lively atmosphere.

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