Jessica
They don't even notice me, they don't even notice that someone is in the house, and their ability to not know that someone is standing before them tells me everything I need to know.
I watch them, half blinded with tears in my eyes, my boyfriend and my best friend having sex. I watch silently as they give each other passionate kisses, they hold each other so tight, like their touch gives each other warmth, even though it's summertime in New York and it's hot out.
I don't know what to do, I don't know what to say, there's something in me that has shattered into pieces and I'm not just talking about my heart. My trust, my love and my sanity. I want to go insane.
He said he loved me. Jeremy said he loved me. We were the couple, the cliche couple you'd see in a nineties rom com, him the school's bad boy and me the school's quiet good girl. Those movies will only show you the "happy ending", the couple kiss, and everyone cheers.
But what happens after the kiss?
Well, I think I know now.
My best friend has her face on the bed and her butt up, she's always had nice curves, round breasts and a great personality. I don't blame someone like Jeremy for having sex with a girl as sexy and carefree as Renee. She's always been the one who got the male attention; she's the sexy friend amongst the two of us, so why am I surprised that my boyfriend, since high school, would leave me for her?
He seems to be enjoying the sex, as he fucks her hard and she moans. I don't know if I should yell or just walk away and then disappear. I'm going to choose the latter because I'm never good at confrontations.
I've always been Jessica Humphrey. The quiet, introverted, shy girl who always has her head buried in her books and her designs. People always wondered why and how Renee and I became friends, that's how opposite we are.
I've been Jeremy's boyfriend since Senior year, but I've been friends with Renee since kindergarten. So yes, her betrayal hits harder.
I slowly begin to back away from the room. I want to leave so they don't see me cry. I don't want them to see me cry. I hate when people see me cry, even if it's the people who hurt me and caused the tears to escape from my eyes.
I hit a wall while trying to back away, and Jeremy stops going back and forth, then he looks back.
"Jessica!" He shouts, jumping off of bed. I hear Renee gasp as she jumps out of bed, and they're both putting on their clothes. I cry even more, and that makes me dart out of the bedroom because, like I said, I don't like it when people see me cry.
"Jessica!" Renee yells my name. I can hear the regret in her voice. Same goes for Jeremy. I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear anything. I just make a run for it. While I cry like the pathetic loser that I am.
Before I can even open the door, I receive a tug on my hand. It's Jeremy's hand, I don't even have to look to know that it's him. I have felt the touch of his hands, I have felt them caress my skin. I have always had the urge to touch his hands again. But now? Not so much.
So I retrieve my hand.
"Let go of me!" I yell, and they both look at me aghast, and I guess I'm not the only one who is crying. They're both shocked that I yelled like that since I don't usually yell at people. I'm the soft girl, the girl who barely talks, the people pleaser, the one who doesn't shout or in racist, stereotypical terms. "The black girl who doesn't act ghetto."
Well, I don't care who I was before. I am angry, and I have every right to be.
"How long has this been going on?" I ask them both, and they're looking at each other, their full lips swollen from the passionate kisses. Jeremy's dark brown hair is all messy, and his white skin is paler than usual, which is something that happens when he's either flustered, scared, or nervous.
That's how in love I am with him; I know every detail about him.
I know him. And I know everything about Renee.
"Two weeks." And I knew that she would be the first to confess, that's especially if she knows she's in the wrong.
"Two wee-" I can feel my voice fading away as I cry even harder. Crying is hard not to do. The last time I cried like this was when my mom died of cancer the night before my prom. It was Renee and Jeremy who were there for me, and now I feel like they weren't there for me because they loved me, but because they felt they were obligated to.
I look at Jeremy. Looking at him right now causes me so much pain.
"So while you were telling me you loved me you were busy fucking my best friend?" even I am shocked by the sound of my voice.
"Jess, baby, let's talk-" he moves closer to me, but I push him away and I slap him on the face, my palm touching his cheeks, making them go red. I never in my life thought I was going to hit anyone, but alas, here we are.
"I never want to see either of you ever again!" I attempt to leave, but Renee tries to stop me.
"Jessica, please."
"Leave me alone!" I take back my hand and I run out of the apartment building down the stairs. Some of the neighbors watch but I don't care because I have to get the fuck out of here. I hear the traitors running down after me. I don't think they have anything else left to say about the situation.
I understand them loud and clear.
"Jessica, please stop, Jessica, please." I don't listen to either of them. I don't listen to their cries, I don't listen to their pleas. I just want to get the hell out of here. So I hop into my silver Toyota Corolla. There's a slam on the window, and it's Jeremy, and it looks like he's trying to stop the car from moving.
"Jessica, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you. Please hear me out. I didn't mean to, please."
"Leave me alone, Jeremy, just leave me alone! You've gotten what you wanted so why don't you just leave me be? You love Renee, fine be with her leave me alone."
"I don't love Renee, I love you."
I scoff. Then I start the car because I cannot stand to be in the same vicinity as him. I can't even stand to look at him because it just hurts more and more and more.
"Jessica, please, please, please."
I drive away, I don't look at the rear view mirror to see if he's still looking, I just continue to drive away, and I'm happy with myself because that means I'm becoming less and less of a people pleaser.
Funny how all it took for me to stop being a people pleaser was me being cheated on.
Ping.
My phone chimes, and I look to see that it's Jeremy and Renee; they're leaving me text messages. Jeremy even calls me. I'm not going to answer them. They can both burn in hell for all I care. I'm going to block them both after this.
Ping
This hurts, this hurts so so much. I can't believe they would both do something like this to me. I feel so fucking stupid. I'm stupid. I want to stop crying, but I can't, I just can't, it's all too much.
A honk startles me.
"WATCH IT!" the driver I almost hit yells at me, and I don't even care at this point because I just can't think straight. Maybe I shouldn't be driving when my heart and my eyes are so heavy. But I had to get away from them.
Ping!
Every kiss, every hug, every affection has been a lie all this while. I hate them, I hate them both.
Ping
Ping
Ping
Ping.
"FUCK!" I scream, then I pick up my phone to block them both. I can't wait until I get home, I have to do it now.
While I look for the block button, I receive a heavy hit on my car, which makes the car crash, hitting other cars. I can feel the glass kissing my skin, the taste of blood greeting my lips, and I see death waving at me like he's known me forever.
And then I see darkness.
I hear voices, sirens, people panicking, someone carries my body, and they're all rushing me somewhere, but where?
I am dead, but they're trying to revive me; they try over and over and over again to bring a broken-hearted girl back to life. But it's too late, because when a girl like me dies with a broken heart, we never come back.
Ever.
So after long hours of the doctors trying to bring me back to life, they pull the plug, and they announce that I'm gone, I'm no longer alive. I've left this realm to God knows where; I no longer exist.
So you'd think that's it, you'd think this is the end of my story. At least that's what I think.
Until I strangely receive a kiss on my lips, a kiss that can burn the whole world, a kiss that can destroy powerful gods, a kiss that cheats death, a kiss that I will cherish forever.
A kiss that brings me back to life.
And when I open my eyes, like Snow White and my favourite fairytales, where a girl is saved by a kiss, I stare at my beautiful saviour.
My beautiful saviour, whom I will be grateful for.
Forever