"Do I really have to do this?"
Joo-hyun, not yet an adult, sat with his knees pulled to his chest, a sulky expression on his face. Han-gyeol, holding a razor blade and staring at his wrist, gave a bittersweet smile.
"Would you like to turn away?"
Joo-hyun knew that no matter how much he tried to stop Han-gyeol, he would still smile a bit more comfortably after doing such things. So, Joo-hyun would always turn away and wait for time to pass.
With his powerful ability to control water, his intellect that helped him escape dangerous situations, and the trust of his comrades, there was no mission that could kill Han-gyeol.
However, Han-gyeol couldn't win against himself.
He hanged himself in his room. Joo-hyun was the one who found him first. The blue feet swaying in the air still appeared vividly in his dreams. Since that day, the image of himself hanging from a rope had been added to Joo-hyun's thoughts about his own end.
It occurred to him that the last time he had cried over someone's death might have been that day.
After a brief hesitation, Joo-hyun threw the rope into the fire. Pouring oil over it, the flames grew larger.
Joo-hyun didn't know where to get such a sturdy rope. Therefore, he probably wouldn't die the same way Han-gyeol did. He had once thought he would like to die that way, since Han-gyeol, swaying from the rope, had looked like an angel flying in the sky.
Suddenly, Joo-hyun thought of Cha In-ho. Specifically, he remembered the happy smile on his face despite being slapped.
Cha In-ho was an inscrutable person. Joo-hyun could never be sure what his smile meant or whether it was genuine. Nevertheless, Cha In-ho's smile always shone brightly. Seeing someone smile like that for him made Joo-hyun feel less need to hasten his own death.
He felt sorry for Beom-gyu, who had asked him to promise to cry for him, but he still couldn't cry. His eyes stung, but it was surely because of the smoke.
As Se-hwa, who had been staring at the flames for a while, turned to leave, the sprinklers, which no one knew existed in the old Block C, activated, pouring water from the ceiling.
The strong spray soaked the entire room, leaving everyone drenched. From head to toe, their whole faces were soaked, as if they had burst into tears.
The burning flames quickly subsided. Despite not having burned for long, everything was reduced to ashes.
"You look like a drowned rat!"
"And what about you, Se-hwa?"
The runaway espers, who had been staring at each other with soaked faces, began to laugh one by one. They couldn't remember the last time they had laughed so hard. Though they had never played in the water before, this must be what it felt like.
"I didn't even know there was such a system here."
"Me neither. No matter how much I used my powers, the alarm never went off."
As Joo-hyun stared blankly at the remains of the burnt rope, he lifted his head to gaze at the crimson sky beyond the open window. The sunset, still split vertically by the bars, retained its radiant beauty.
* * *
"Joo-hyun, you don't know how good guiding is, do you?"
Han-gyeol, lying on the training ground floor, soaked with his own power, had said. Joo-hyun, breathing heavily beside him, frowned deeply.
"Why wouldn't I know? I get it every week."
"No. You don't know. Getting guided by someone who truly understands you is vastly different from the revolting guiding we get here."
Joo-hyun had no idea what that was like or what the difference was. After all, he had never received proper guiding before his runaway incident and his transfer to Block C. His world as an esper consisted entirely of the bleak, grey confines of Block C. How could he know what ordinary espers did or what kind of guides they met?
"...You said you had a matching guide, right?"
"Yeah."
"What are they like?"
Joo-hyun, who had turned to lie on his stomach and prop himself up on his elbows, asked. Although he had heard the story many times, he remembered every detail. However, Han-gyeol looked so happy when talking about his matching guide that Joo-hyun, who rarely saw such joyful smiles, would ask him again and again.
"I first met them at the centre..."
Even though the story always started at the same point, Joo-hyun listened with interest. Tales of a world he had never experienced and never would always intrigued him.
When Han-gyeol finished his story, he gave Joo-hyun a gentle smile. His eyes curved into half-moons, and dimples appeared, a beautiful smile that only emerged when he talked about his matching guide.
"I hope one day you'll find a guide like that too."
"That's not going to happen. Who would guide a runaway esper..."
Despite Joo-hyun's curt response, Han-gyeol's smile didn't fade. Joo-hyun glanced at Han-gyeol's wrist, marked with multiple lines, and then pretended to be sleepy and closed his eyes.
Recalling the past, Joo-hyun looked at the guide sitting before him. He nudged the shopping bag pushed towards him.
"What is this?"
"It's a hoodie. It looked good on you last time."
Joo-hyun's eyes narrowed at the tone suggesting it was obvious. Cha In-ho remained unfazed, even in the face of Joo-hyun's intimidating gaze.
Peeking into the shopping bag at the crisp white hoodie, Joo-hyun muttered that it wouldn't stain if it got bloody, surprised at himself for considering the gift in the first place. Rebelling against his own acceptance, he glared harder at Cha In-ho, who said softly,
"White suits you, Joo-hyun."
It seemed almost ridiculous to hear such words while wearing all black.
"Of course, black suits you too."
Sometimes, Cha In-ho seemed to see right through Joo-hyun's thoughts.
Consciously schooling his expression, Joo-hyun grasped the shopping bag by the fingertips. The rustling noise seemed disproportionately loud. The hoodie had indeed been comfortable. While he couldn't go out socially, he could at least wear it in his room.
"...I never asked for this."
"I just wanted to give it to you."
"Is there a special occasion?"
Cha In-ho briefly raised an eyebrow before smiling warmly, as if he knew something. The knowing smile irritated Joo-hyun.
"Let's call it a belated matching gift."
Joo-hyun fell silent. He had nothing to give in return. In every aspect—wealth, honour—he couldn't compare to Cha In-ho.
"This matching was entirely at my request, so it's only right that I give you something."
Again, Joo-hyun doubted whether Cha In-ho was a runaway esper who could read minds. In a hesitant voice, he asked,
"...Did you buy this specifically for me?"
Going out of his way to a shop he didn't need to visit, spending money, and carrying the clothes here—it seemed too much trouble for him to accept. He already received unexpected guiding through this matching and had his life saved.
"I just bought it on the way. No need to feel burdened."
Joo-hyun's scarred fingers crumpled the shopping bag. Yet Cha In-ho, seemingly unaffected, laughed, possibly having read his thoughts again.
Actually, Joo-hyun had burned most of his clothes during a recent ritual of sorts, leaving his wardrobe bare. Clothes had become precious. He decided to accept the hoodie. It wasn't as annoying as nicotine patches. If someone offered, there was no need to refuse.
"...Thank you."
Cha In-ho nodded, as if it were no big deal, but his acceptance made Joo-hyun feel a little more at ease.
Seeing the clothes wrapped in transparent plastic reminded Joo-hyun of Beom-gyu, who had worn a hoodie during a mission. Beom-gyu had said that one should smile when happy and cry when sad. Despite Joo-hyun's negligence, which led to Beom-gyu's death, Beom-gyu had told him to smile.
Hesitating, Joo-hyun forced a smile. It wasn't the usual sneer or a show of anger.
The awkward smile, as if he were smiling for the first time in his life, vanished quickly. Yet Cha In-ho seemed to have seen it. His eyes wide with surprise, he left earlier than usual that day. It must have been a terribly unattractive smile.
Feeling a bit upset, Joo-hyun found the new white hoodie incredibly soft and warm, like being wrapped in feathers or clouds.
Though not the fateful, heartfelt guide Han-gyeol had described, Joo-hyun found his temporary matching guide to be not so bad after all.
Recently, Joo-hyun wore the hoodie Cha In-ho had given him every day. It was much softer and more comfortable than the everyday clothes provided by the centre, and the hood gave him a cosy feeling when he pulled it over his head.
The narrow, hard mattress was the only place in the world where Joo-hyun felt at ease. The barred window, grey walls and ceiling, and overly plain furniture might have seemed like a prison to someone else, but to Joo-hyun, it was home.
Lying there for a long time, he raised his hand slightly. The sleeves were dirty with grime. Having never owned white clothes before, he had only just discovered this side effect. He thought about avoiding blood and gunpowder stains.
In fact, most of his clothes were black, so they might all be dirty without him realising it.
Just as he was about to drift into a late afternoon nap, a sharp electric shock from his choker jolted him awake. The approaching sleep fled instantly.
Joo-hyun sprang up, stripped off the hoodie, and donned his uniform. It took only two minutes to layer on the clothes and lace up his boots tightly. Even so, he might still be scolded for being late, depending on the mood of the person summoning him.
The electric shocks through the choker, used to summon espers, always made Joo-hyun shudder. It was a signal to report to the office for a mission. He was sick of this painful method, preferring they simply use the intercom, send an employee, or at least call via the communicator.