"If I hurt you, I'm sorry, but it's the truth."
"Don't be ridiculous. Who wouldn't be sad when a comrade dies?"
Beom-gyu shouted, and before he could control his ability, Joo-hyun felt a sharp pain on his cheek. When he rubbed it with the back of his hand, a bit of red blood smeared off.
Startled by Joo-hyun's wound, Beom-gyu let go, and Chae-kyung squeezed in between them.
"Stop it. Fighting among ourselves won't do any good."
Even through the jet-black sunglasses, one could sense Chae-kyung's sharp gaze. Beom-gyu wiped his tears with his arm and took a few steps back.
"Of course, we're sad too. Hana was a good person. But maybe we're too exhausted to cry over every single death."
Yes, they were too exhausted. They were tired of seeing those who had laughed beside them until yesterday fail to even return as corpses, and tired of living on the edge of death every day.
A chronic lack of guiding they had never experienced before becoming runaway espers. Dirtying missions. Guilty consciences. Fear of death. The feeling of losing everything they had built up in their lives.
Se-hwa, who had gone on a rampage six years ago, had been declared dead, and she couldn't contact her family and friends.
Seung-cheol, who had been in Block C for over three years, had a deep scar on his wrist that would never fade.
Chae-kyung, an S-grade esper before he went on a rampage, needed a higher dosage than others, leading to his addiction to guiding drugs.
And Han-gyeol… Joo-hyun shook his head. Thinking about someone who died long ago didn't help with surviving now.
Perhaps the reason Joo-hyun had survived in Block C for eleven years was because he had left so little behind. His life had been a mess from the start, so there was nothing to miss or look back on.
"I don't understand. Isn't it natural to be sad when someone dies?"
Beom-gyu said, his voice trembling. He was the only one here who still contacted his family.
Generally, an esper's family distanced themselves from their children from a young age, and as they grew up, missions kept them apart for long periods, diminishing their affection. When they heard that their child had become a runaway esper and could no longer be contacted for safety reasons, the connection was severed.
Even if they were family, knowing the infamy of runaway espers, they couldn't help but be afraid.
But Beom-gyu's family was different. They pestered the centre to let them at least speak with their son, and eventually, Beom-gyu was allowed to hear their voices. Of course, there were rules that he couldn't speak about missions or Block C, but Beom-gyu seemed content with that.
In the hallway outside Block C's lounge, there was an old payphone. It was the only way runaway espers could contact the outside world, but interestingly, calls to 119, 112, and the Esper-Guide Centre were not allowed.
Moreover, even if there were no rules, there was no need to worry about revealing secrets. The communication system filtered out sensitive words, so the other party would only hear sounds like tuning a radio.
At first, Beom-gyu seemed to struggle with the trial and error of communicating with his family, but now he chose his words carefully when making calls. Regardless, he was the only one in Block C who bought phone cards from the shop.
The centre director was worried that Beom-gyu might slip up and assigned him only typical esper missions. His ability being unsuitable for assassinations was also a factor.
The other espers in Block C didn't tell Beom-gyu about the dirty and grim missions they usually handled. There was no need to.
Everyone silently hoped that Beom-gyu, uncharacteristically bright for a runaway esper, would stay that way. That's why they didn't know how to react now.
Usually, when news of a comrade's death came, they mourned in silence. Then they got up and pretended to be normal to face the future. There was no need to add sadness to a reality already filled with discomfort and pain.
But for Beom-gyu, who thought it natural to laugh when happy and cry when sad, his comrades must have seemed strange.
"Stop crying and wipe your tears. I'll take Hana's clothes. Anyone else need anything?"
When Se-hwa shouted, everyone shook their heads. Only Beom-gyu stared at Se-hwa in shock.
Runaway espers didn't have anyone to conduct their funerals. If their bodies returned, it was fortunate enough, but unstable waves lingering in the corpse were deemed too dangerous. Destroying a body of a runaway esper was considered in line with safety measures.
With no family to claim their belongings or a coffin for keepsakes, the items naturally went to their comrades. It was a practice that had continued for a long time. Joo-hyun owned several belongings of those who had died.
"You're all insane."
Beom-gyu spat out the words and stormed out of the lounge with a rough motion. The remaining people made bitter expressions but didn't follow him.
"He's just young."
Se-hwa, lying on the sofa staring at the ceiling, remarked. Seung-cheol, who had been silent, let out a big sigh.
"To be honest, his reaction is normal."
Bom-i, chewing on a cigarette filter, commented. Her eyes, uncovered by her eyepatch, sharply stared into the air.
"Acting normal is only possible in a normal environment. How can we cry and fuss over every little thing in this hell?"
"Is a friend's death a little thing?"
Se-hwa and Bom-i glared at each other. Though usually on good terms, the situation had put them on edge.
"I said, stop fighting. Let's calm Beom-gyu down later."
"Chae-kyung hyung."
"Yeah?"
"Are we crazy?"
Chae-kyung didn't answer. Neither did anyone else, and Joo-hyun hadn't asked the question expecting an answer.
Even typical espers in Block A risked their lives on missions. When a close comrade died, they mourned with tears. Se-hwa, Bom-i, Chae-kyung, Seung-cheol—all had the same experience before going runaway.
But what made Block C different that they couldn't even shed tears for a comrade's death?
"...Who knows."
Beyond the bars of the window, the sky was a bright blue. An unknown bird flew somewhere beyond.
Hana, who particularly liked rainy days, had died on a clear day. Mourning the life of someone who couldn't even get what she wanted at the end, Joo-hyun buried his face in his palm. No tears came.
* * *
He could feel Beom-gyu's sidelong glances, but Joo-hyun didn't pay any attention. Honestly, he didn't have much to say. When he turned his head, Beom-gyu flinched and fixed his gaze out the window.
Today's mission was unusual as it involved just Beom-gyu and him. Normally, Beom-gyu only took gate-related missions, but this time his ability was needed.
'Illegal guiding drugs are being smuggled at an abandoned port. Find and destroy them all. Don't let anyone notice.'
Beom-gyu's ability was 'Air bomb'. His power could detonate the air without leaving any trace of fire, ash, or even light.
Moreover, Joo-hyun's skill in assassinating without being noticed made him the perfect partner to eliminate the gang members and destroy the drugs.
Despite the mission involving killing, Beom-gyu was included because he understood the dangers of illegal guiding drugs. The drugs were so dangerous that even criminals' deaths were justified if it prevented their distribution.
The mission itself didn't seem too dangerous or lengthy, but the real issue lay elsewhere. Currently, Beom-gyu and Joo-hyun's relationship was strained. After the incident with Hana's death, they hadn't had a chance to talk through before being sent on this mission.
Specifically, Beom-gyu hadn't yet cooled his anger, showing a slightly hardened attitude, while Joo-hyun remained as indifferent as ever.
Joo-hyun thought Beom-gyu had to resolve his feelings himself and thus had nothing to say. Apologising felt unwarranted since he didn't see himself as at fault, and he wasn't the type to comfort gently. So, he did nothing.
Feeling Beom-gyu's gaze again, Joo-hyun glanced sideways, causing Beom-gyu to flinch and turn away quickly. Joo-hyun swallowed a sigh and looked out the window.
In the reflection, he saw himself wearing a black hoodie. To avoid being recognised as an esper from the association, especially a runaway esper, he dressed like a regular person.
Inside the loose hoodie, he had concealed several lethal weapons, including a dagger and a handgun, but outwardly, he appeared normal. Or maybe he didn't. Perhaps people could tell he was a killer just by his aura.
His dark red eyes reflected dully in the window's glass. Finding it distasteful, Joo-hyun pulled his hood further down and sank into his seat.