Previously on Nathan's Journey, tonight started with post trial Nathan suffering in prison and he was completely broken inside, but through Seven Rings of Hell he found his faith and finally saw Andrea and even crazier Nathan has seen his in what felt like a decade and she has a secret to Tell Nathan... What is it? We'll see...
It resumes back to that moment as Nathan looks at his mom with Faint breath as he waits in anxiety as so many thoughts flow past his mind... Of things he'd rather forget.
"What is it mom? You said Dad left because he had a whole new job waiting in Europe but you didn't want to go because of me. That's why he left." Nathan says exactly what she told him all those years ago, her words and how she said them are still etched into his mind.
"You see son... I don't have much time left." Seen by her wilting hands and her grey hair turning white, truly father time is catching up to her.
"Mom..." Nathan sees her and he gets emotional.
"I want to say this before I become too old and start to forget it. And..." She looks at Nathan and sees him when he was young. "I had to see my little Natie again as this... Might be the last we'll ever see each other..." She says a tear falls from her eye. "I'm gonna stop avoiding what I came to say, it's just... I haven't told anyone this... But... The reason your dad left... It's because when you were born he already hated you because of your hearing perception issue, and he hated that you weren't a child he could mold to be like him, he saw your Unique quirks and he was embarrassed to call you his son, he was embarrassed to have been married to me that... When you were just two years old he cheated on me with his secretary, and he got her pregnant. And... And..." Her tears intensifies this truly hurts her to say "He said he wanted kids... Just not with me... And Always wanted a son just not you Nathan. That was the same night on your 16th birthday I kicked him out, because instead of celebrating your big day he was... Fucking her!" Her voice cracks as this is breaking her heart to say.
Nathan hears this his mind connects the dots, all the times mom and dad were fighting, dad spending more and more time at "Work", it all makes sense now... And it shatters Nathan. "Mom... I'm so sorry you had to carry this burden, these tears inside by yourself for almost 10 years... I'm so sorry especially the way I left..." Nathan says to his mom.
Nathan has a flashback to that day, he blew out his birthday candles marking his turn into a young adult.
"Happy birthday Natie!" Nathan's mom says.
"Thank you mom, where's dad he told me he'd teach me how to drive on my 16th birthday! I've been waiting for this for years!" Young Nathan says his eyes glowing full of adorable innocence.
"Well your father couldn't make it, but we've both been saving since the day you were born for this." She hands him car keys. She spend all her hard work and saving to give Nathan the best path possible, give him a good life even without her husband.
"Thank you so much mom! I love you!" Young Nathan says hugging her tightly.
"But really where's dad? He hasn't been here for a while, and I saw his stuff is gone. What's going on mom?" He says looking at her with his innocent eyes."Okay, fine, your dad said he got this amazing job in Italy, where he's making big Euro's. He said we should go with him but, I didn't want to separate you from New York because these streets are the only place you know." She couldn't bring herself to tell him the truth to those innocent eyes.
"So he abandoned us..." Nathan says the innocence in his eyes fading slowly as he realizes he's fatherless.
"Natie it's not like that." She tries to salvage the last of Nathan's innocence but Nathan isn't listening.
"THEN WHAT'S IT'S LIKE THEN?!!" Nathan rightfully yells demanding answers for why this is happening.
"Look Natie , you don't need him as long as you've got me, everything will be okay. You know that." She tries to comfort him as she opens her arms for him to hug her.
"Mom, I'm gonna prove him wrong, I didn't need him then and I don't need him now, you know what mom, I'm going to go through college without him, I'm gonna get a great job without him, I'm gonna Marry a beautiful girl and have a bunch of kids without him and I'm gonna be a better father than he ever was, and I sure as hell don't need his ass for that either, coz theres not a damn thing he can ever teach me about how to love my kids..." Young Nathan exclaims as he takes his keys and drives out off leaving his mom alone for 9 years...
"How I left... I left just like him... It's ironic, because it's father like son..." Nathan now says as he feels like he's become just
like him..."Momma... How come he doesn't want me?" Nathan says his voice cracking as he desperately tries to find that answer. It's the question that's been haunting him ever since that day. "I've been trying to be better than him, but I cheated on Andrea and that murder put me in here for life. I've been trying to not be like him, I went to college, I got that job, and I have Andrea the woman of my wildest dreams and I have a kid on the way... Yet... I'm never gonna be apart of his or her life. It's like... I'm stuck in this cycle... I want to break it but I can't..." Nathan feels right, the handcuffs on his hands weigh him down, Andrea Is standing on his left side as he can't see her and only sees his mom.
"I've failed both of you... I'm a failure of a man!" Nathan continues to beat himself down as he knows... It's true.
"Did you think I told you this to make you hate yourself? No, you deserved to know the type of man your father was, I'm glad he left because you didn't to have a monster like him, I can say we made it pretty far without him, he can keep butt fucking his secretary for all I care. I'm always so proud when I see you on Tv when you got those awards in college, seeing you trying to make your own path, without anyone's influence , you doing it alone is exactly what I did when I was growing up, my dad hit my mom, it was a time where woman were emotional punching bags. And I left and did what you did. And I ended up with your father because he reminded me so much of my father. It was a endless cycle. I know you are the one who can break it. With your quirks, your calm and composure, your kind soul, and even your hearing those aren't things holding you back it's the things that make you YOU. So son, keep fighting I know it doesn't seem like it because your at rock bottom. When you at the bottom there's only one way to and that's up!" She says this speech she shines her smile as she lifts up her shaky hand and points up at the light above them.
Nathan cries smiling at his mom because this is exactly what he needed, the light he was searching for at end of the tunnel. "Thank mom... Your words will stay with me until the day I die!" He declares as that fire that was in his eyes has finally returned.
"I'm glad I could see that fire one last time... My son... I love you so much. Never forget your one of a kind." She says standing up it visibly shows her constant shaking in each step. "Oh, and I completely forgot... You see the son your father had a son in Europe, he is your half brother. You two will be destined to see each other, your completely counterparts..." She says mysteriously in Nathan's mind he sees a shadowy figure.
"Wait your telling me... I have a brother?" Nathan says as his mind floods with questions about thinking after his mom he'd be the last remaining family left but this changes everything.
"You'll find out yourself when you get out of here."
She says facing the door she opens it stepping into the light outside. "Goodbye Natie..." she walks into the light completely gone from Nathan's sight.
"Goodbye mom... Your will, your fire will live on through me... I promise!!" Nathan thinks as he sees the door shut, but his eye has fully reflected the light.
It cuts to black
To be continued!!