In some place in Magnolia, lies Zack who wondered aimless within this pouring rain.
Zack knew he should go right away to the wake, that will be hold in the Fairy Building.
However, halfway towards the wake, Zack found himself roaming around the town for some reason.
It only when the rain itself has stopped, like a lie, was the moment when Zack suddenly halted his wondering steps.
When the rain within the unclear skies stopped, like it was a lie, Zack stopped his wondering steps, with his black suit soaked to his skin, Zack did not care about that at all.
Zack did not care about the wetness or the coldness his soaked suit or dark blue hair is. Even if wearing something wet and soaking is a big deal for normal people who could easily get a cold, or worse the flu from this.
As a Wizard himself, this wetness, this coldness against his skin is nothing to him, the immune system of a Wizard is far better than someone with Magic Power.
And even if he were a normal person, Zack still wouldn't care, as all his attention turned to the sky itself, the very sky that beginning to clear, like the rain that happened not long ago, was a lie.
Zack also noticed the place he halted at, was a bridge, but even so, he did not care and simply turned his green eyes back at the sky with a lost look on his face, while he put his hands in his wet pockets.
With his Haki, he could sense the auras of others that passes him, but even so, Zack still kept his eyes on the sky, he simply did not care about those that passed him, those that noticed his wet and messy attire who stared at him, since he stood out.
He simply did not care about anything, besides looking at the sky that beginning to become more and more clear by each passing moment.
Maybe that was why, as time passes while lost in deep lost thoughts, he did not notice or simply did not care about a specific aura that appeared behind him, along with countless auras that passes him.
At first, this aura only simply stood behind him, few meters away from him, than this aura went closer to him, to the point the aura that he simply did not care, or did not notice right away, stood beside him, with a meter distance between them.
The aura remains besides him for some time for some reason, to the point it slowly got Zack's attention, causing him to look at the owner of that aura.
However, from the moment his unfocused green grassy eyes turned towards the one besides him, his eyes widen, because the one who stood next to him, is someone he knew, and also someone he did not expect to stand beside him.
After all, it was no wonder why Zack felt so surprised, because the one who quietly stood beside him, was no other than Mirajane Stauss, who just stood beside him while looking at the same sky he was looking at, with her sea blue eyes.
"..."
"..."
No words were exchanged between the two of them, and yet again, that should be expected, even if this is the first time that Mirajane came to Zack on her own regard in a long time at that, silence still overcoated the two broken teenagers.
Soon Zack took his eyes away from Mirajane and stared at the same sky he was looking at, but now Mirajane also shared in staring at the vast blue sky above them.
It was unknown how long this silence lasted, several moments passes, and yet no one between the two teenagers share a word, the only thing they did, was to stared at the sky that becoming more and more clearer above them.
They did not mind if they clothing are soaking to their skin from the rain, that was here not long ago. Nor did the two of them care, about the odd stares they got, as those that passes the bridge they are on, becoming curious, why two teenagers are wearing black, but also soaked from the former rainfall.
However, as the two broken teenagers stared in the sky in silence, silence always became what it is, a means to an end.
That the thing about silence, it was never meant to last forever, which is why silence is soon broken, when the one who broke it, was no other than Mirajane herself.
"I… overheard… that you going to leave… the guild… and Magnola…" Mirajane whispered in a bearable hearable tone, a normal person or Wizard will not be able to pick on what Mirajane said in a low tone like that.
But Zack can, with his senses that are sharpened by his Observation Haki, allowing him to hear Mirajane's almost silent words, as if she wasn't whispering them.
"That… is right. I been planning on leaving for some time… but well, you know." Zack went with a bitter smile, turning his eyes away from the sky, and looked at Mirajane besides him, whose sea blue eyes still looking at the sky, but they widened a little before a bitter smile that formed on her lips.
"I see…" Mirajane could only say, in a tone that even quieter than a whisper, but Zack still heard her as clear as before, but remain quiet, seeing the expression on her face, as she still looking at the blue sky.
On the other side, Mirajane wanted to say more than just 'I see'.
From the moment when she lost Lisanna, Mirajane became a mess, her feelings, her emotions, everything about her, became a mess, a chaotic mess, to the point, the walls around her heart, that shielded her from those around her, just simply shattered, like it never existed.
With those walls down, she no longer the Majin she had created, but that little girl, who once again lost someone important to her.
And who is to blame for that?
Who is the one who truly caused the death of her little sister, Lisanna?
Elfman?
No, even if he wasn't in the right state of mind, his Beast Soul is still Take Over Magic, her Magic, in other words, she is the one, who truly killed her own sister…
Her belief, her reasonings, her pride, as well her arrogance.
Those became blades to end her own little sister's life, she was the one to blame for everything, because of her, she once again had to watch, as someone else in her family leaves her.
That is why, it wasn't Elfman's fault, but herself.
After all, is that what kind of person she is?
Within the moments of Lisanna's death, as her body faded like she never existence taught Mirajane something, caused her to realise what kind of person she has become.
She is a fiend, a wicked woman, who cast aside her feelings, all due to some pride, all due to that moment of weakness, that made her feel insecure, due to feeling secured with that person.
Ironic, is it not? All of this damned insecurity caused by feeling safe and secured by someone else.
Because of that, she hurt someone that she has feelings for, someone who could become important to her, along with Lisanna and Elfman. And yet… it was no other than herself, her arrogance, her pride, as well her beliefs and insecurity, that caused everything to happen that way.
While Mirajane does not know of the full details, she wasn't blind, she knew how much pain Zack was in, all because of her.
And yet, she looked the other way, telling herself, it did not matter, even if she was the one who caused this, causing Zack to become so unstable, who mostly drinks himself in his despair, the despair she had caused.
What is why, she is foolish, terrible to a fault, and a wicked woman no less, that who Mirajane had become.
Each time she felt guilt, she forces it down, each time she felt worried, seeing a single moment of him being in pain, she told herself, this is for the best.
And when Lisanna tried make Mirajane realised what she is doing, she just ignores her, telling herself, this wasn't for herself, but for them, but that is just lie, everything she did, was for herself, that how selfish and wicked she is.
When she and her brother told their final farewells to their little sister's gravestone. They came to the wake, but Mirajane herself, has something important to do, and that was to apologize to him, to apologize to Zack, even if she knew she has no rights to say that she is sorry for all wrongs she caused him.
However, Zack wasn't at the wake, at the Guild, he was simply nowhere in sight. When Mirajane noticed Zack was nowhere in sight, she recalled something she had overheard the other day.
That Zack will be leaving the guild, she did not have to guess what for, instead of guessing, her heart tightens and ached knowing it was no other than herself, the cause why he had to leave the guild.
What if… what if the reason why Zack did not come to the wake, is because he going to leave at this very moment?
When Mirajane thought of that, she did not simply left the guild, no, Mirajane ran out of the guild, causing those who did not know what's on her mind, to worry, while others has understanding looks on their faces.
But she did not pay any attention to them, all on her mind, if she were to miss him, when will she have another chance to apologize?
Or what if, she will never see him again?
She hates it, she hatred the thought that she did not want Zack to leave the guild, to leave her, but she has no rights to say that. She has no rights to prevent him from leaving, because he has every rights to do so, especially what she done to him.
However, she still ran after him, because this might be the last time she could tell him, tell Zack how much she hatred herself, from doing what she done, to tell him her real feelings, even if she has no rights for them to be accepted, she least wanted to tell him that…
And yet, even when she found him, she unable to speak a word, even when she opened her mouth, she was unable to say it properly, causing her to bite her lips very bitterly, causing her sea blue eyes to look away from the sky, and turned to the ground with shame.
Not only she is a wicked woman and terrible person, but she also a coward, as well pathetic. Seeing she cannot say anything else.
Silence once again came among them the two teenagers, but this time, the one who broke the silence like glass, is Zack with words that shaken Mirajane to her very core.
"I know… you properly blaming yourself with everything… that had been happening… with Lisanna… as well, my self, right?" Zack went, causing Mirajane to flinched at those words, causing her sea blue eyes to look further down with shame and self-hatred.
And yet, Zack's never next words, caused her to look up and at him, with disbelief, rage aimed at herself, as well something else, something she had no rights to feel.
"While I have no clue what I did… but I always wanted to tell you Mirajane, that I am sorry, I am sorry whatever I did to cause you to hate me. I never wanted you to hate me… after all, its hurts, you know? Being hatred by the one I love. That's why, I am sorry." Zack simply went, in tone like he was talking about the weather.
Even so, this caused Mirajane to look at Zack, who also looked at her with those warmth and yet painful soft green eyes looking at her, along with that faint and soft smile, causing Mirajane to froze in place, as their eyes locked with each other.
She can feel it, the guilt behind his smile, behind his gentle soft looking eyes, that caused her heart to ache.
Two things came to her mind, one causing her to feel something that she has no rights to, and the other was deeper and stronger guilt, realising something she did not realise until now… the guilt that Zack has been carrying.
The guilt that he always thought it was his own fault, but in truth, it always been her own, not his, who did nothing wrong, but her own, who brought things to become like this.
And that made her feel like a monster, when she realises that. And yet, there also that confession.
The confession that quickens her heart and filled with it with shameful joy, joy that she has no rights to feel, but she felt it anyway. And that made her feel sick.
To feel such joy within her, to feel happy with his confession, and as well sick of the selfishness nature within her, that wanted to hear it again, but at the same time, each time she subconsciously thought that.
Her heart also ached in many different ways due to this shamefulness.
This is why, Mirajane did not say a thing, or more like unable to say a word from her lips, as she just stared at Zack in complete silence and blankness, with a shameful heart, that does not know it has it has no rights to beats so much in joy, which in turn, made her feel more and more shameful with herself.
"You don't have to say anything. I just… wanted you to listen, if that's okay? I wanted you to know, one of reasons why I had to leave both the guild, and this town… is to move on those feelings I have for you… maybe the reason why I wanted to tell you this, that I am going to move on… from loving you, maybe that is selfish, selfish because… I wanted to know how will you react when I told you this, pathetic… right?"
Zack with a sad and bitter smile, as he glances at her, with both gentle eyes and words that came from him, that felt more like her heart was being pierced with invisible knives.
While she knew it is her fault, why Zack is leaving… but to think he going to throw away his feelings towards her. Mirajane has no clue what to feel about that.
A part of herself, wanted to refuse this, wanted to reach her hand out, and grabbed him, as she longed for those emotions that she once denied.
And yet, another part of her, knew she has no rights to stop Zack, when she already done the same thing for the feelings she has for him a year ago. Casting them aside, like they were nothing to her.
That is why, Mirajane avoided looking into those green eyes, that always filled with gentleness or love aimed towards her. Because those eyes cause her heart to become chaotic, beating like a maiden in love, and yet, it is also painful, knowing how shameful it is, when she has no control over this heart of hers, that knew no shame.
"Of course, that's not the only reason, why I must leave… to be honest, Mirajane… I… don't know myself. There are times when I feel like an empty shell, who realises I have no clue who I am, who is Zack Smasher truly is. I am even a person? I know I am a person… it just… I don't know, how can I explain it. but that is the second reason why I am leaving.
Not forever, of course. Only until I found myself and moved on those feelings… I have for you. And… the third reason I have now to leave the guild, and this town… and that is the reason to become stronger… strong enough, that I can protect those dear to me…. Because I don't want to lose anyone else that is important to me, that also means you as well, Mirajane.
Even if I will try to no longer love you, you will always be someone who is important to me. Because it was you, and your siblings who given me this life, who took me to the guild, when I was someone so unstable, someone who knew no better about this world, that is why, you are important to me... and why, I don't want you lose you as well."
When Mirajane heard this, she stared blankly at Zack, who said all that with a gentle smile, and a gaze that can melt anyone's heart who looked at them.
Those words, his gaze, that damned gentle smile, caused Mirajane to feel those emotions within her to become stronger.
The guilt.
The self-hatred.
And the shame she felt.
Those emotions that dwelled within her, began to flood, as a leak formed from the dam of her emotions, causing Mirajane to let go of herself, and let everything within her out.
"Are… you a fool? A dumbass!? W-Why are you being nice to someone like me!!?" Mirajane went, and grabbed Zack's wet collar, stunning Zack, upon seeing this outburst of emotions from Mirajane.
"Why are you being nice to me!? I hit you! Throw you away like some kind of trash! Threated you and even cursed at you all the damned time!! And yet… a-and yet… someone like me… someone who let her emotions to cloud her, to let her pride and arrogance get the better of herself… you love me? Me!?
You shouldn't love someone like me… not this wicked woman, who cast away her own emotions, her own feelings, due to some pride… because of me… because of me… BECAUSE OF ME, AND MY DAMNED POINT TO PROVE MYSELF!!! I… hurt you… stepped on your love… and… because of me… Lisanna is… she is-"
As Mirajane shouted all that, with her outbursts of emotions she felt deep within her in the open. Mirajane was too late to realised what had happened in her outburst of emotions, when Zack wrapped his arms around her, as tears began to formed from her sea blue eyes, as she felt the embrace, that brought warmth as well
Warmth, that caused Mirajane to look upwards with a blank stare at Zack's face, that only inches away from her own face.
Before Mirajane could say a single thing in her new confusion, Zack free one hand holding her, and used that hand to wipe away the tears that fell on her cheeks, from her eyes, causing Mirajane to flinched when she felt his gentle fingers wiping them away.
"I don't like it… I don't like seeing you crying, I just hate it, even when I don't know why that is, no, I know. But it is wrong Mirajane, for me loving you? Maybe you are right, I am a fool, a dumbass, but I refer that, Mirajane. I referred to be some idiot, some dumbass, if that meant I do not have to see you crying, and hurting yourself more you already are." Zack went with a bitter smile, as he yet again wipes more tears from her sea blue eyes.
Mirajane just blinks her eyes, as she unable to say anything, before she looked away and lean closer to Zack's chest, and burying her face as well, hiding her face away from Zack, along with a sense of comfort and shame wash over her, as she leaned on him.
"Why… why are you doing this to me…?" Mirajane went with a small voice.
"You are making me greedy for things I shouldn't be allowed to have… Zack. You should hate me… not love me… not embrace me… like this… you should not love someone as wicked and shameful as I am…" Mirajane told, as she raised her loosen arms besides her, and wrapped them around Zack's back.
Of course, this startled our clueless protagonist, being hugged back, as well Mirajane's words, but he remains silent, allowing Mirajane to carry on with her thoughts, or feelings aloud.
"To… tell you the truth… the real dumbass here, is not you… but me. I don't want you lose you as well… if only I realised this… that I too… love you… and yet, here I am… what a shameful woman I am… to have these feelings for you, these feelings I buried, because I were afraid… if only… if only I wasn't so damned… arrogant… so damned full of myself… maybe… I don't have to feel so guilty… to love you…"
When Mirajane said that she looked up from Zack's chest, locking eyes with him.
The two did not say another word between them, as Mirajane tighten the hold of her embracing Zack, which Zack felt, but he was too stunned, by it her words, or her actions, they both surprised and shocked him.
But the surprises were only beginning, as he watches in stunned silence as Mirajane closes her eyes while also leaning closer to his face.
And like that, a single action was made, that caused Zack's mind to halt for a single moment, when something soft touches his lips, and that something, was Mirajane's own lips.
The kiss last few seconds, but in those few seconds, our clueless protagonist experienced something, he never did in his two years of living in this world.
Warmth, a flood of warmth filled him, as soon their lips touched, but something else also came to our clueless protagonist, and that something else he cannot explain, besides he wanted more, another kiss.
On the other hand, Mirajane realised too late what she just done.
Maybe it was the sway of emotions and feelings, or maybe it was something else altogether.
But in the end, that did not change the fact, Mirajane's body moved on its own, seeking the warmth she knew she shouldn't be allowed to have.
And yet, her body moved before her mind, as her selfish heart swayed her reasonings, and before she knew it, she leaned closer to his face and landed a kiss on his lips.
So, it was no wonder, why Mirajane's cheeks dyed with redness of shame and embarrassment.
"I-I s-sorry… I d-don't know what-" Mirajane panickily went, as she unable to find words of her actions, and also removed her arms around his back, and placed her hands on his chest, trying to push herself away from him.
However, Zack reacted on impulse, as he tightens his embrace of Mirajane, refusing to let Mirajane go, which only made Mirajane's cheeks become more redder each passing second still in his arms.
"It's fine. While I have no clue why you press your lips against mine… I didn't hate it. In fact… I liked it, a lot, which I cannot understand it myself. So, don't look like you did something wrong." Zack went with a slight worried tone, as he looked at Mirajane.
"You… you seriously have no clue… don't you?" Mirajane went with both a sigh, and slight shock, as she stopped trying to run away, and once again wrapped her arms around Zack's body, with her hands on his wide sturdy back.
"I don't, does it matter?" Zack went with a faint smile, causing Mirajane to not say a thing for several seconds, before a small and flat giggle left her lips, causing Zack to tilted to one side with slight confusion.
"Does it matter he says…? Does it matter… what a wicked woman I am." Mirajane went resting her head on Zack's chest, which she found oddly pleasant even for the second time.
"Say… do you still want a harem?" Mirajane askes, while still burying her face into his chest. That is why, Zack has no clue what kind of expression she is wearing, when he heard those shocking words from her.
"Yeah…" Zack went, too stunned to give a proper answer to this, and unsure if he truly wanted that. And yet, Mirajane did not see the confusion and unsureness written on his face, since her own still leaning on him.
"Then… can I be allowed in it?" When Mirajane askes this, her hands on his back also tighten for some reason, as Zack can feel her fingers digging into his study back. And yet, in the amidst of the confusion and surprise, a bright smile formed onto his lips.
"Yes… if it is you, you are always welcome." Zack went, however, from the moment he said that, he also became a little startled, hearing that Mirajane answered back with another giggle.
"Seriously… what I am going to do with you…? You should say no, I am greedy, selfishness, and I don't like sharing what is mine… and yet… what right do I have?" Mirajane went, as her fingers onto his back strengthen more.
But Zack did not care about that, as also knew Mirajane did not meant it, nor did she realise she is digging her fingers into his back. Not to mention, for some reason, he kinda like it, he likes that Mirajane tightens her hold onto him, which made Zack slightly puzzled, why he liked it when Mirajane strengthens her held of him.
"Zack… I like you… I really do… but I had to say no… least for now." Mirajane said as she lifts her head from Zack's chest, and looked Zack, right into his green eyes, that looked so thrilled, then startled at her words.
"For now…??" Zack went, still embracing Zack, who smiled at Zack, with a smile so soft and gentle, before she leaned closer towards Zack, towards his face.
When Mirajane came closer to Zack's face, his heart quickens, as memories of that kiss resurfaces, causing to Zack to realise, she going to kiss him again, however that wasn't so, she went passed his lips, and brought them to his ear instead, not to kiss, but to speak.
"Yes… not for now… you not the only one who needed to change, Zack… at this moment, I have no rights to… l-love you. I know you don't care, but I do… I did a lot of things, that you should forgave me for, but you did, or maybe you haven't, but just did not realise it… but even so, that still doesn't change the fact, that I need to change.
To ensure myself, that I will have the rights to stand by you, and to make sure you wouldn't regret l-loving someone like me, who let their pride get the better of them… so, will you still accept me, after that Zack?" Mirajane askes, as she removed herself from besides Zack's face, away from his ears, and locked eyes with him.
They are only inches away from their lips touching, but her lips weren't on Zack's mind, but her soft and nervous sea blue eyes that are locking with his green grassy eyes are.
And from her eyes, there also the crimson pink cheeks of hers, that also caused Zack's mind to become to a halt, as he stared blankly at Mirajane, who for some reason, seems more beautiful, than any other memory inside him.
Being stunned by her beauty, as well her words, Zack answered Mirajane, but not with words, but impulse of his own.
He freed one hand around her waist, and reached for those cheeks, this startled Mirajane of this sudden action, but that was only the start, as Zack leaned closer to Mirajane, whose eyes widen, as this time around, the one who acted on impulse, is Zack, as he presses his own lips onto her own as his answer.
A promise sealed with a kiss, a kiss that is soft, and yet clumsier compared when Mirajane kissed him. and yet, did it not change the fact, this was their second kiss, a kiss that soon turned to a third kiss from Mirajane, who closed her eyes, and the fourth kiss from Zack again.
For half a minute, the two teenagers, who are broken, simply kissed each other, with each kiss filled with deeper and stronger emotions dwelling in them.
But they soon stopped, they soon apart their lips from each other, preventing them from further acting on their impulses. And simply stared at each other while still in their embrace.
They did not say a thing, as silence and understanding came between the two of them, they did not have to say anything else, because it is clear what they did and what they agreed on within this silence while they stared at each other.
Because silence was enough to make a promise between them.
An understanding they needed to change, not just for themselves, but also for each other.
And that vow of their promise, of their understanding, was sealed with that kiss, a vow sealed by a kiss no less.
# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #
How was it?
Was it too forceful?
Too soon?
In the original fanfic, the one who did the kisses, were Zack himself. But I felt he wouldn't even know such an action to be honest.
That is why I made Mirajane the one to kiss Zack.
After all, with all kinds of emotions dwelling within Mirajane with Lisanna's 'death', and how she treated Zack, it no wonder why her emotions were a mess.
And also the reason why their relationship is put on a halt.
This chapter was meant to accept their feelings, but also accept they must also improve themselves, after all, this is character development for the two of them.