SOHINI'S POV
Whenever I develop a crush, it doesn't stay in the safe zone. Becomes wild, consuming thing that eats me from the inside out.
And with Vedant Khanna, I had completely lost the sanity.
It wasn't just a crush.
I thought about him all the time. Morning, night, even when I was supposed to be focusing on the Battle of Plassey or solving equations.
I masturbated to the way he said "simplify" in that calm, confident voice. Imagined what his hands would feel like on my waist, tracing my legs.
I'd already picked our kids' names—Sidhant for a boy, Vinni if we had a girl. I imagined us waking up in a room with cream-colored curtains, sharing coffee, kissing over textbooks.
In my head, we were meant to be.
In reality? I don't think he even saw me.
"Where's your head, Sohini?" Maa's voice yanked me back. The chai had spilled over, hissing onto the stove like a warning.
"Sorry," I murmured, blinking hard, giving her a crooked smile like nothing was wrong.
She handed me a cup and sat down. "How's your tuition going?"
"Good," I lied.
Because if I told her the truth—that I spent every tuition session dying a thousand deaths—she'd call me crazy. Or worse, stop sending me.
The truth was, I thought maybe Vedant would sit beside me, explain things gently, maybe brush against my arm. Maybe smile at me like I mattered.
Instead, he tutored me with another girl. Maya Sharma.
She wasn't even smart. She just wore lip gloss and tiny clothes and laughed at everything he said like he was some kind of stand-up comic. She dressed like she was heading to a party, not a tuition class. Low-cut tops. Shimmery eyeliner. Her boobs always half-out.
And he gave it to her. He liked it.
"Correct, Maya. Good job," he said, every single time she answered something. His voice soft, his eyes kind.
And then he'd glance at me. "You following, Sohini?"
I'd nod. Always nod.
Even when I had no idea what he was talking about. Even when my brain was fried from just watching his lips move. I never dared ask a question. I didn't want to look dumb in front of him. I wanted to look—pretty. Mysterious. Desirable.
I was none of those things.
And when he explained logarithmic equations or binomial theorems, all I did was watch the veins on his forearm, the way his T-shirt hugged his chest. The soft stubble on his jaw. The way he'd sometimes adjust his chain absentmindedly. I wanted to touch it. Touch him.
"You understood?" he asked again, eyes on me this time. I had been staring at his mouth for at least two minutes.
"Yeah," I said, my voice barely above a whisper.
He sighed. "Alright. I'm giving you two ten questions. Finish them in thirty minutes."
I stared at the paper.
The numbers looked like a foreign language. I didn't even know which chapter we were doing. I tried to scribble something, but I felt like vomiting.
Meanwhile, Maya breezed through it like she was born solving equations. Her pen danced. She hummed under her breath. I wanted to stab her with my geometry compass.
"Sohini," Vedant's voice was sharp, "Who are you waiting for?"
I panicked and started writing random crap. Thirty minutes later, he collected our papers.
He checked Maya's first. Smiled. "Only one wrong. Well done."
She giggled. "Thank you, Vedant bhaiyya."
Bhaiyya? Did she think saying that made her pure? Please. She wanted him the same way I did.
Then he looked at mine. His brows furrowed like my paper had personally offended him.
"What is this?" he asked, holding it up like a piece of garbage.
I swallowed. Looked down. The floor suddenly became very interesting.
"You didn't get a single one right." His voice wasn't even angry. Just—disappointed. Like he expected nothing and still got less.
"You're not listening. You're not asking questions. You just sit here like a statue. Are you even trying?"
"I—I'm trying," I whispered, even though I didn't believe it myself.
He slammed the paper on the table. Maya jumped. So did I.
"No, you're not. You're wasting your time. And mine." His voice was ice now.
And just like that, my heart cracked open.
"I don't think this is working. If you don't understand anything, then maybe—maybe you shouldn't come anymore."
I blinked. Did he just say that?
He didn't even look sorry.He just leaned back in his chair, exhausted, like he was done dealing with me. Like I was a burden.
And then my eyes flicked to Maya.The way she smirked. The way her eyes said "he's mine now."
Maybe he wanted her. Maybe he always did. Maybe he only let me come to make her feel smarter.
"I'm sorry," I whispered. My throat was closing up. My chest felt like it would cave in.
I picked up my books, my pen, my half-dignity, and left.
He called my name once. Just once. But it was too late.
I ran. Down the stairs, through the gate, I ran like I could outrun his words.
The tears came only when I reached home. Hot, fast, ugly tears. I shut myself in my room and let them fall.
He didn't care. He never cared.And I—I had built a whole love story out of a few smiles and a pencil he once lent me.
How stupid could one girl be?
"Sohini? You're early today—" Maa peeked into my room, holding a bowl of soaked almonds. I quickly wiped my tears, sniffing hard.
She frowned. "What happened, child?"
I shook my head, but she came in and sat next to me, hand on my back. And just like that—I broke. All of it. The humiliation, the ache in my chest, the ugly feeling of being invisible.
"H-he scolded me—for f-failing the test," I stammered between sobs.
But that wasn't the real reason I was crying. The real reason was far more pathetic.
That he thought I was stupid. That he didn't even want me there. That he looked at Maya like she was the center of the world and at me like I was a problem to solve—or worse, a problem to discard.
He told me not to come anymore. Just like that. Like I was nothing.
Maa sighed. "This is what happens when you don't study. Why don't you practice? Hm? All you do is read those silly love novels—"
"Maa," I whispered, voice cracking. "I'll prove him wrong. I'll—"
She stopped mid-rant. Maybe it was something in my tone.
"I'll show him I'm not dumb," I said, eyes burning now, not from tears but from rage. "I'll show him I can do this."
And I meant it.
That night, I pulled out the very chapter he'd given the test from. I watched YouTube tutorials, hiding my phone inside a reference book. I solved examples again and again until my fingers ached.
No more fantasizing. No more lip-staring.
I studied late into the night, my eyes red and heavy, but I didn't stop. Not even when the fan creaked like it was judging me. Not even when my back screamed from sitting upright for too long.
For the next few days, I skipped tuition. I didn't go. Not even once.
Maa didn't scold me this time. Maybe she could see I was studying harder than ever. She let me be.
I ignored everything—my novels, my dreams, even Maya's smug Instagram stories in his house.
And just when I had started feeling stronger—just when I was ready to face him again—he came to me.
The door bell rang, I froze, textbook in hand, heart launching itself into my throat.
Maa opened it.
"Oh, Vedant beta?"
And in that moment—All my resolve, my rage, my focus—it faltered. Because there he was. Again.At my door.