"—doing out here? Hey."
Something jostles Noel out of a light doze and he picks his head up blearily. "What—?"
Jade's unimpressed face hovers directly in front of him. The hand on his shoulder tightens. "Why are you sleeping in the hallway?" Jade asks impatiently.
Noel blinks at him. "Why are you here?"
Blowing out an annoyed sigh, Jade shifts his grip to Noel's bicep and stands, hauling Noel up after him. Noel is more or less powerless against the sudden display of strength, and he stumbles from the unexpected change in position, head spinning.
"Didn't you say you were at your family's for dinner?" Jade all but drags Noel to his door, placing his finger on the sensor lock until it clicks. "Why did I come home and find you in the hall? Did the sensor malfunction?"
Shaking his head to dislodge the drowsiness, Noel stumbles into the foyer, where Jade finally releases his arm. The imprint of Jade's grip pulses slightly, but at least it doesn't hurt like his wrist. "No," he mumbles in response, running his fingers through his messy hair. "I just fell asleep."
"On the floor?"
"Yeah. Sorry." Noel trudges into the living area and heads for the stairs. "Goodnight."
"Wait."
Normally, Noel wouldn't obey that easily, but his brain is still foggy with sleep, and Jade's voice has an uncompromising edge to it that halts him in his tracks. Glancing back, he finds Jade way too close, staring down at him with narrowed blue eyes. "Did something happen?" Jade asks.
Noel's stomach gives an uncomfortable lurch. "Why?"
A muscle twitches in Jade's jaw. "You seem weird."
"I'm just tired." And why should you care, anyway? Noel thinks bitterly. Why should anyone care?
When Jade doesn't free him from his intense stare, Noel sighs. "It's nothing," he says. "Dinner was stressful, and I've had a long day. Happy?"
"Stressful?"
Noel presses his lips together. "Yeah. I was almost poisoned."
Jade's brows lift in surprise and Noel uses the opportunity to slip away, quickly mounting the stairs.
"I can't even tell if you're joking," Jade calls after him.
"I'm not," Noel shoots back. "See you tomorrow."
The cats are already curled up on his bed when he gets to his room, and he doesn't even bother going through the proper routine. He just shucks down to his underwear and t-shirt, switches the lights off, and crawls under the covers.
Within seconds, he's asleep again.
----------
The next day, he feels so awful that it takes him until he gets to work to remember that he already had a reason to feel awful today, even before his stupid family made things worse.
A message pings on his tablet partway through his shift, from Jade's private channel.
Don't forget.
As if he could actually forget.
"First session today, huh?" Dr. Summers raises her eyebrows knowingly when he comes down to fake doing his job. "Good luck."
Noel doesn't respond, chewing anxiously on the end of his pencil and staring at the half-finished sudoku puzzle in front of him.
"You'll probably pass out again," she warns. "So just be ready for that."
"Yeah," Noel croaks.
"Don't be too nervous. This situation isn't…the most healthy, but you were made to do this. Or, not made. Evolved. Whatever. Your body is equipped for transference, so you'll be fine."
"Jade manifested when he was four, right?" Noel looks up, setting his book down. "Has he had guiding intolerance since the very beginning?"
Dr. Summers grimaces at him from across the desk. "From what he's told me, yeah."
"I heard him say he hasn't been below eighty in a decade."
"Probably longer," she says. "Stress can make corruption accumulate more rapidly, and Jade…went through some stressful times as a child."
Noel furrows his brows. "Do you mean when his parents died?"
"Yeah, his parents and his sister…among other things."
Jade having a sister is news to Noel. It's not mentioned in the basic trivia that everyone passes around about Jade Ransom. He frowns. "What other things?"
Dr. Summers shakes her head. "I don't know the details. Jade and his uncle are probably the only ones who do."
Noel thinks back to Jade's scathing words about Fletcher Ransom on the roof. "Do you know much about his uncle?" he asks.
"No—Jade doesn't like to talk about him."
"Hm." Another thought occurs to Noel. "Oh yeah, what happened to that other guide who was in the basement? The one you called before me?"
"Oh, Genevieve? She's fine." Dr. Summers waves a hand dismissively. "I called someone to take her to the medical bay while Jade and I brought you here. She woke up just a few hours later, no harm done."
"That's good."
"I did kind of have to tell her that she was successful in guiding Jade before she passed out," Dr. Summers admits, almost guiltily, as though Noel cares about stolen valor. "Otherwise, she would have wanted to know why he didn't melt down."
"That's for the best." Biting his lip, Noel turns his attention back to his puzzle. "I'm sure she'd do better tonight than I'm going to."
Dr. Summers barks out a laugh.
----------
By the time he's on the way to Jade's apartment, Noel's stomach is in knots. The bruise around his wrist is ugly, dark and mottled against his pasty skin, and it had been a trial keeping his sleeve down low enough to cover it, but the bones all feel fine, so there isn't really anything he can do. Depending on what Jade wants to get up to, though, there's no way he won't notice it. Whether or not he'll care is another issue.
On the elevator, he briefly entertains the idea of using the injury to postpone their session tonight, but he dismisses it just as quickly. It feels underhanded, plus, knowing Jade, he'd just drag Noel to Halo's medical bay to eliminate the excuse, and Noel absolutely doesn't want that to happen.
So it's with a fluttering heart and a queasy stomach that Noel steps into the apartment.
He had a later shift today, so the sun has mostly set outside of the giant windows, leaving just a sliver of pink and orange glowing on the horizon, quickly receding behind the tide of velvet blue night. Jade is sitting in one of the blocky modern armchairs, reading beneath a lamp, and he looks up when Noel enters.
Even across the large room, his direct gaze makes Noel's heart squirm.
"Dinner is ready," Jade says, flipping his book shut and standing. "Let's eat first."
It's a good idea, since Noel will need all the energy he can get, but he can't bring himself to eat much of the nice meal Jacqueline left for them. Jade inhales several helpings while Noel can only pick at his, trying to calm his thundering pulse and failing.
When Noel returns from packing up his leftovers, Jade is standing by the table, arms crossed, expression hard.
"I'm going to take a shower," he tells Noel. "Come to my room in half an hour." And he leaves.
Noel just stands in the dining room for a moment, trying not to scream.
He showers too, because why not. May as well try not to embarrass himself more than necessary. After he dries his hair, he takes a half-hearted stab at styling it, trying to make the unruly brown waves look even slightly intentional, but it's a fool's errand and he quickly gives up, letting them fall loose around his face. He grimaces at the mirror and his pasty, hunted reflection grimaces back.
As the timer nears its end, Poe and Coppelia watch him pace the length of his room from the bed, their little heads moving in sync.
"It'll be alright," Noel assures them and himself. "It's not like I'm going to die. This time, at least. Probably. It's just a bit of touching. I'm an adult. I can totally handle that."
Coppelia chirps and flops over on her side. Poe looks like he wishes cats could roll their eyes.
When his time is up, Noel leaves his door open for them to wander if they want, and makes his way to Jade's room on unsteady legs. Standing outside, he has a swift panic attack about his decision to wear joggers and a sweatshirt, before forcing himself to calm down and focus on what he should actually be panicking about.
At his quiet knock, Jade's voice calls for him to come in, and he opens the door. Hysterically, he believes he can hear it squealing, like the iron door of a prison cell. He certainly hears the conclusive clang when it shuts behind him, sealing his fate.
Jade's room isn't much different from his own room, to Noel's mild surprise. His room is still fairly sparse and impersonal, since he hasn't been here very long, but Jade lives here, so Noel would have thought his room would be more customized. There are a few personal touches here and there—an acoustic guitar on a stand in the corner, a few books scattered on surfaces, a bulky, old-fashioned stereo under the TV, but aside from that, this may as well be a guest room too.
Two lamps on either side of the bed are the only illumination, making the large, stylish room feel warmer and more intimate; however, any comfort Noel might have taken in that shrivels at the sight of Jade sitting on the bed in nothing but a pair of sweatpants.
Jade Ransom is a very attractive man. This fact hasn't escaped Noel's notice, but it didn't really have anything to do with him, so he kind of brushed it off before. Now, though, it's impossible to ignore. Tall, muscular, with smooth bronze skin and effortless ebony curls and stunning blue eyes—his face is unrealistically handsome, symmetrical and sculpted, with a strong jaw and high cheekbones and full lips. Even his brows are nice, dark and heavy over his piercing stare. Noel hasn't had an opportunity to see Jade shirtless until now, and his chest definitely lives up to the hype, broad, toned, packed with muscle. The sweats sit low on Jade's pelvis, and Noel can make out the solid plate of his stomach, the peek of two sharp hip bones. A trail of dark hair begins beneath his navel and thickens as it disappears into his waistband. And his biceps—
Noel deliberately tears his gaze away, cheeks burning, feeling bizarrely guilty, as though he's been caught sneaking a look at something he's not allowed to see. When standing directly in the beam of Jade's otherworldly gaze, Noel's own untidy brown hair and bony limbs and dull gray eyes seem even more inadequate than usual.
Jade shifts, leaning back on his hands. The position only highlights the chiseled slope of his torso. "Are you just going to stand by the door all night?"
"Is that an option?" Noel responds before he can stop himself.
Jade quirks an eyebrow, and Noel cringes internally. Before he can talk himself out of it, he crosses to the bed and sits down beside Jade, leaving some space between them. For a beat, Jade just stares at him, eyes boring into the side of his face.
"You seem nervous."
A manic giggle escapes Noel's mouth. "Maybe a little."
"Relax," Jade says, not unkindly. "I said we wouldn't go all the way today."
"Then what are we going to do?" Noel asks around his racing heart.
"Make out a bit," Jade says casually. "Touch. I'll blow you, if you want."
Noel lets out a choked noise, clenching his fists on his thighs. "No, it's fine," he manages.
Jade hums. "I can still get you off, if you let me. It's the least I can do."
"It's really—fine. I'm not even sure if, um—if I can," Noel admits, ducking his head. A curtain of messy hair swings down to hide his face. "Right now."
"Trust me." He feels Jade shift closer, the mattress dipping with his weight. "If it's me, you definitely can."
"Aren't you full of yourself," Noel mumbles.
"I have confidence in my techniques."
An involuntary shiver runs up Noel's spine just before a gentle touch brushes his hair aside. The sudden contact jolts through him like a jumpscare and he whips his head up. Jade pauses, his hand still in the air, lips tugging into a frown.
"Seriously, calm down," he says. "If you're this tense, you might hurt yourself when you start guiding. You're acting like you've never done this before."
Noel bites his lip, wondering if he should just tell Jade that's actually true, that he's a complete virgin who's never even touched another person below the belt, let alone gotten off with them. It's not like he has any pride left at this point, right? His reactions say it all anyway. But then Jade is reaching out again, fingertips flickering over Noel's temple as he tucks Noel's hair behind his ear, and the opportunity vanishes beneath a wave of anxious heat surging up through Noel's chest.
"Just trust me," Jade rumbles, leaning in until his blurry face is all Noel can see. "You'll be fine." And he presses their lips together.