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Chapter 86 - Mr. Book

Death Ravens. A rather intimidating name for a docile creature.

These avian animals are simply called "death ravens" for that reason; wherever there is death, they will soon follow.

Their plumage consists of nightly feathers. Their beaks are crooked and often chipped or cracked. The older a death raven becomes, the more likely you are to see white appear in their feathers, as if their skeleton is exposed.

Our history has dictated their namesake: borne from graveyards and risen from the ground. Death ravens are mysterious and unpleasant, although very alluring to some.

It is said that one day, a lord of the undead will take the creature as a companion, and the world shall know the true meaning of death.

Excerpt from Kreatures of Keceo, A Brilliant Bestiary

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After forcing Mr. Keeper to read for some time, they all decided to take a break, staying in the study in the Great Library.

Mr. Keeper fell into the seat, utterly defeated.

"How do ye read that boring shiet?"

"It's not boring," Gwyn corrected. "I read an old news article about Summoning Day and how the people of Keceo admired it before the twenty-fourth."

Mr. Keeper groaned.

"Like I said, boring shiet."

Elise also fell into a chair.

"Oh, just because we couldn't find any receipts from Gold General down there, you are going to be all mopey?"

"I'm not mopey!"

"I mean, it's your fault we are in the predicament in the first place. I thought it was fun to browse from the pile occasionally, but eighteen more rooms, just like that one?"

His face turned a little greener.

"Listen here." He waddled over to the book on the pedestal. "Look at how easy this is." He grabbed a piece of literature he's already read and crammed it into the book, then slammed the cover. Moments later, it disappeared. "Convenient, right? Just place it in the book and forget! Now no one bothers me about the Great Library being a mess!"

"But now downstairs is a mess!"

"Aye, but ya know. No one goes down there and... Future problems and such."

"You don't say, you vile green shrubbery!"

A voice erupted out of nothing. It sounded chivalrous, and it clearly didn't match any of the group.

Elise fell out of her chair, drawing her dagger.

"Who said that?"

"Me!" The book flapped its covers as it talked. "Do you know how long it has been?"

Mr. Keeper looked terrified.

"Ahh! What the fuck are ye!"

"I'm your worst fuckin' nightmare, you blubbering bobble popper!"

"What's going on?" Elise asked, keeping a safe distance from the book.

"I've no clue!"

Mr. Keeper tried to grab the book, but the second his hand touched it, it sprang to life again.

"Let go of me, you animal! Do you treat women how you treat books? Just grasping at my edges with no concern for my longevity or readability!?"

He spoke fast and rolled his 'r's. Gwyn slowly approached the talking book, gingerly taking it into her arms.

"There, there…"

What do I call this thing anyway?

"Book? It's going to be okay."

Gwyn petted the cover. The book purred in her hands.

"I say again, what is going on?"

Elise stood confused. Although she had an extensive knowledge of magical items, she had never heard of a sentient book.

"I've an idea." Mr. Keeper waddled up to Gwyn, who caressed the book's covers. "Book, were you formerly an elf?"

The book opened to somewhere in the middle, then narrowed its pages, appearing to glare at the green goblin.

"Whose asking, Grabby Man?"

"My name is Mr. Keeper, and I run this library."

"So you're to blame for the travesty that is the basement!"

He ripped himself from Gwyn's hand and smacked himself against Mr. Keeper's head.

In response, Mr. Keeper pulled out his wand and looked as if he was going to cast a spell.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Gwyn stepped between them. "Book… what shall we call you?"

The book then idly flapped, as if he had no idea what she was asking.

"I'm not quite sure. I don't remember anything. I feel as though I've woken up from a long rest."

"So, you don't remember anything before today?" Elise asked.

"No… I just now felt someone slam my pages shut with something between them. I feel so… violated."

The sentient book shivered. It spoke dramatically, as if they were performing in a play. Then, their pages flipped and revealed the anatomy of a male elf. Then it folded in on itself to cover the private parts on the page.

"Guys," Gwyn said urgently. "Maybe this book knows what's in the basement. Book!" Gwyn spoke in a commanding voice. The book jolted as if it were startled. "Do you know of any information about the texts within this library?"

The book floated in the air like a bird flapping its wings, but instead of wings. It sounded as if they were pages turning dozens of times repeatedly. At this moment, a scribe walked into the library, saw the book floating in place with four people talking to it, and wordlessly turned and left.

"I see shapes, but… hmmm… this is odd…"

The book furrowed its pages.

"What's odd?" Elise asked.

"Quick!" The book said urgently. "Open me to any page!"

He flapped at an increasing pace. Gwyn plucked him from the air and flipped to a page at random.

"Okay…" Gwyn sounded unsure. "You're at a different page, now what?"

The book was oozing desperation.

"The words! What do they say!?"

"Uh… uh…" Gwyn tried to read the words, but there were no words; it was just a series of pictures. "There are no words on the page."

"Another page!" The book shouted, even more urgently than before.

Gwyn felt the pages become moist, as though the book was sweating.

"Okay! Jeez..."

Gwyn opened to a page in the middle.

The parchment despaired.

"More pictures!"

"What's he goin' on about?" Mr. Keeper asked.

"No... no... this can't be happening."

"What can't be happening?" Gwyn asked.

"I can't fucking read!" The book shouted.

"What?" Mr. Keeper stifled a laugh. "A book that can't read that's—"

"Now listen here, you little green fuck," The book flew from Gwyn's arms and flapped mere inches from the Lotmon's face. "I don't know you, and I don't like you. I can tell you that you only read documents that have anything to do with finances. It's pathetic. Expand your horizons, you greedy log slogger!"

"Now ye listen here, ye leather-bound bastard," Mr. Keeper said, clearly over the shenanigans. "Ye are a book, ye have been not doin' this shite since I've been 'ere and now ye suddenly makin' a big fuckin' fuss." He grabbed a page, ready to tear it. "If ye don't knock off yer shite, I'm gonna 'ave to—"

Gwyn then snatched the book from Mr. Keeper.

"What are you doing!" Gwyn then held the book close to her chest. The book seemed to be shaking in her arms. "A librarian of all people should treat books with respect." Gwyn petted the cover of the book, and it purred in her arms. "Just because this book doesn't contain the history of inflation throughout the kingdoms, doesn't mean you get to bully him!" For whatever reason, Gwyn felt sorry for this book. He had an attitude, sure. Didn't mean you get to deface him. "You of all people know how scary it is to be dropped into another world with no information on it."

 Mr. Keeper looked embarrassed at Gwyn's logic.

"Aye, you're right." He said mournfully. "I'm sorry I threatened ye, little book."

The book didn't say anything, but then made a noise like it was sticking its tongue out at him.

"Oh-ho! That's it!"

Mr. Keeper jumped for the book in Gwyn's arms.

"He's just a little guy," Gwyn said, patting the book.

"So am I!" Mr. Keeper grumbled, almost pouting.

"Okay, okay. This has gone on long enough." Elise stood between Mr. Keeper and the sentient book. "Mr. Book."

"So we're giving it my name now?" Mr. Keeper said jealously.

Elise just ignored him and addressed the book.

"You can't read. Not the end of the world. Do you know of the documents you've put in the basement?"

The book looked thoughtful for a moment. It was remarkable, especially to Gwyn, how much emotion the book conveyed through the movement of its cover and pages.

"I know when documents and books are placed inside me, but I am unaware of their content," the book said shyly.

Elise nodded.

"I see." Elise turned to Gwyn. "Chosen One, if I may be so crass, shall we burn this book?"

Mr. Keeper fidgeted with his fingers.

"Not a bad idea, that is."

Gwyn looked at the book. Although it didn't have eyes, or any facial features for that matter. She felt it giving her something akin to puppy-dog eyes.

Gwyn addressed the book in her arms.

"Mr. Book?"

Mr. Keeper grimaced.

"Not ye too…"

"Yes. Me too." She cleared her throat and continued. "Mr. Book?"

The book nodded in understanding.

"Do you think you can help us find something in the basement?" Gwyn asked, gently stroking the book's cover.

"I can't read… how can I help you find something down there, mi'lady?"

Gwyn narrowed her eyes at being called "mi'lady", but didn't let it consume her.

"Not only you." Gwyn looked towards Elise. "Can you contact Artero and tell him to bring Rodrick, if possible?"

"C-c-contact Artero? W-w-what for?" 

The thought of last night haunted Elise, how Artero had kissed her so suddenly, what he had said after that Whisperer left. Unfortunately for the elf, she was acting extremely suspicious.

"Um... so we have more people to read?"

"Oh, if I tell Artero that he has to read, he won't show up."

"Make something up then," Gwyn said plainly. "He knows about the wishes. He has to help."

Elise bit her lip and sent the message. Blood dripped from her nose shortly after.

"And you."

Mr. Keeper appeared shocked. 

"Me?" 

"Yes. You need to help the book, and the book will help you. Mr. Book and Mr. Keeper. 

"No!" The book and Lotmon shouted simultaneously. 

Mr. Keeper crossed his arms.

"I'd rather use 'em for kindling."

Mr. Book ripped himself from Gwyn's arms and flew back to the pedestal.

"I'll just stay right here."

"No, you won't." Gwyn picked up the book and forced it into Mr. Keeper's hands. "We are going to read every single document. You've complained about not having help, well, now you have it."

"But Gwynnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn." Mr. Keeper fell to his knees, pleading.

"And no more adding to the basement."

"But that's how the elves have done it for hundreds of yeaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssss." Mr. Keeper now rolled on the floor like a child having a tantrum.

"New management, baby," Gwyn said. "What does everyone keep saying? 'If it worked, it should've happened by now?'"

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