Somewhere behind the load screen, beneath a pile of unused assets and beta regrets,there is a mountain where reality is put on trial.
It is called… Mt. Debug.
And I was just summoned to stand before it.
Welcome to Court, You Absolute Narrative Menace
I wasn't expecting a mountain. I was expecting, like… a metaphorical tower, or maybe a conference call with Arceus.
Instead, I was teleported to an actual, snow-capped mountain surrounded by floating error messages and neon judge gavels made of hex code. The clouds above were shaped like warning signs, and the air smelled like recycled data.
The platform I landed on read:
"WELCOME SAVE FILE GOD – PLEASE WAIT TO BE JUDGED"
I glanced at my team. Midnight Daddy was already cloaked in shadow, sniffing the ground like he sensed an ancient presence. Amber showed up a second later, hacking a vending machine in the wall that spat out Debug Cola™. Karen floated beside me, completely unbothered. Chadlax somehow brought a thermos of mac & cheese.
We were ready. Ish.
Then a voice rang out.
"THE TRIBUNAL NOW CONVENES."
And everything went dark.
The Tribunal of Meta-Canon
When the lights came back on, we were in a glowing courtroom suspended over a pixelated abyss. Three figures sat on the high bench:
Glitch Judge Red – Silent. Helmeted. Communicates in game sounds only.
Professor Censura – A forgotten NPC from a scrapped beta build of Gen I, now in a lab coat made of old Pokédex pages.
ERROR #011-EXE – A floating piece of code that looked suspiciously like a missing gym leader from Kalos, but corrupted beyond recognition.
"YOU STAND ACCUSED," Censura began, "OF VIOLATING THE FOLLOWING LAWS OF POKÉMON NARRATIVE STRUCTURE…"
She pulled out a scroll.
It hit the floor and kept rolling.
"Unapproved transmigration. Save file manipulation. Unauthorized creation of reality-persistent Pokémon. Allowing a shiny Umbreon to achieve sapient godhood. Teaching glitches to read. And worst of all…"
She paused for effect.
"…Breaking canon for the aesthetic."
Amber gasped, offended. "It was a great aesthetic!"
Midnight Daddy rolled his eyes.
Exhibit A: The Forbidden Starters
"Bring forth the witnesses," ERROR #011-EXE hissed.
Three Pokémon were wheeled out on digital thrones.
They looked like starters—but wrong.
Igniraffe – A fire/psychic giraffe that constantly hovers three inches above the ground and never blinks.
Aqualope – A water/fighting antelope with a surfboard tail and unblinking, judgey eyes.
Florashade – A ghost/grass flower Pokémon that hums in reverse and causes mild existential dread.
"These," Censura explained, "were the original Gen V starters. Cut because they were too powerful,too weird, and too self-aware."
Florashade whispered, "The code remembers."
I shivered.
The Tribunal leaned in. "And yet… YOU, Save File God, taught them to dream again."
I turned to my lawyer—Midnight Daddy—who just shrugged.
Fair.
The Charges (And Counter-Hacks)
Censura banged a gavel made of corrupted badges. "How do you plead?"
Amber stood up. "He pleads chaotic good."
"That's not an official plea."
Karen floated up. "He doesn't recognize your jurisdiction. You're running on deprecated firmware."
A warning siren went off.
WITNESS: MIDNIGHT DADDY – SUMMONED
Midnight Daddy stepped forward, glowing like a collapsed star.
Censura narrowed her eyes. "You are the key issue. A Pokémon who should not exist—free, sapient, and able to reject narrative control."
Midnight Daddy's rings glowed. He opened his mouth.
And said:
"That's a you problem."
ERROR #011-EXE shrieked.
Red played the Pokémon Center jingle in approval.
The Forbidden Battle
Suddenly, the floor shattered.
We fell into a coliseum built out of unused tiles from Gen II.
"If you will not comply," said Censura, "then you will BATTLE.One-on-one. With a Forgotten Starter."
The ground shifted. Florashade floated forward, chanting in code.
I turned to Midnight Daddy.
"You up for this?"
He cracked his neck. "Time to debug."
Battle Start: Midnight Daddy vs. Florashade!
The air twisted. The crowd of corrupted NPCs cheered, glitching in and out of random outfits. The judge table disassembled into a scoreboard.
Florashade moved first—used "Remember When"!Midnight Daddy was hit with a wave of nostalgia so strong he briefly flashed back to being an Eevee in the intro cutscene.
But he shook it off.
And then he attacked.
Midnight Daddy used "Shadow Patch"!Super effective! The move rewrote Florashade's ghost-type coding!
Florashade became Fairy/Grass.
It blinked. Looked confused.
Midnight Daddy smiled. "Now you're real. Your move."
Florashade bowed.
The Tribunal gasped.
The Verdict
The battle ended not with a KO, but with mutual respect. Florashade approached the bench.
"I revoke my testimony. He did not corrupt me. He validated me."
Red played the evolution jingle in minor key.
Censura sighed. "So be it. Charges… dropped. For now."
ERROR #011-EXE flickered and vanished with a frustrated hiss.
"Leave this place," Censura warned. "But know this: your power grows. And reality does not take kindly to freelance gods."
Aftermath
As we exited Mt. Debug, Amber handed me a Debug Cola.
"You realize they're gonna come after you harder next time, right?"
Karen nodded. "Probably with lawyers made of time loops."
Midnight Daddy just walked beside me in silence, glowing faintly. I gave his back a gentle pat.
"You were amazing, you know."
He looked at me and smiled.
"I'm just getting started."
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