et me summarize my current life situation:
I transmigrated into a game world.
My shiny Umbreon is basically a Final Fantasy boss.
I accidentally triggered the entire Battle Frontier into going DEFCON 1.
And now… Player Three has arrived.
How do I know that?
Because they fell from the sky in a slow-mo landing animation, surrounded by a fog of code particles and bad intentions, and their nameplate literally read:
PLAYER_THREE.EXE"Modded Client Detected"
So yeah. That's not ominous at all.
When NPCs Start Glitching
The moment they landed, everything flickered.
NPCs froze mid-animation. A Wobbuffet started levitating. The sky turned teal for three seconds. A Machamp from the Battle Tower clutched its chest like it suddenly remembered its taxes.
Even Amber, my not-quite-canon traveling companion, looked up from her clipboard and muttered, "Oh no. Not that player."
"Wait," I said. "You know them?"
She nodded grimly. "Beta tester. Got banned during Alpha for trying to install mods into the Safari Zone."
"…The Safari Zone?"
"They turned it into a first-person shooter."
I turned to Player Three.
They were petting a shiny Charizard. Not a regular shiny, mind you — this one had plasma wings and was labeled "CHA0S-ZARD [L95-ALPHA VARIANT]".
Yeah. We were in deep.
Enter: The Flex
Player Three finally spoke.
Their voice was modulated — like a robot choking on autotune. "So this is the punk breaking the system."
"That's… me," I said, trying to sound cool and failing spectacularly. "Hi. Big fan of… not dying."
They looked at Midnight Daddy. "That's not an Umbreon. That's an anomaly."
Midnight Daddy glowed faintly and rotated his rings like a dial. He didn't blink.
Player Three's Charizard snarled.
Karen hissed and hid behind Chadlax, who had somehow summoned a beanbag chair and was eating chips labeled "Max EV Crunchies – Forbidden Flavor."
Amber snapped her fingers. "Focus! Player Three runs on a modded client, which means—"
"—they don't follow game logic," I finished. "Great."
Player Three smiled. Or at least, the pixels of their face did.
"Let's test your save file, scrub."
Modded Battle Initiated: Warning, Everything is Broken
[BATTLE START]PLAYER_THREE.EXE VS ??? (YOU)"This shouldn't be happening."
I tapped my menu and sent out Midnight Daddy.
Player Three sent out CHA0S-ZARD, who roared so loudly half the Frontier went grayscale.
CHA0S-ZARD used Glitchfire Pulse!It's super effective against common sense!
The air warped. Midnight Daddy dodged by literally side-stepping out of the UI.
He reappeared behind CHA0S-ZARD and used Custom Move: No U.
It reflected the damage. CHA0S-ZARD is confused by its own coolness.
"YES!" I cheered.
But then the Charizard stopped. Turned. And said, in perfect text-to-speech:
"Error: Confusion is for peasants."
And then it summoned a second Charizard.
Same level. Same plasma wings. Same evil aura.
Warning: This user has duplicated entities beyond legal stack limits.
Amber choked on her own clipboard.
Karen whispered, "He hacked in a Double Battle... with himself."
Chadlax, MVP of the Apocalypse
Just as CHA0S-ZARD #2 was charging some kind of attack that looked suspiciously like a laser beam wrapped in death flags, Chadlax stood up.
He threw his chip bag at the Charizard. It hit.
CHA0S-ZARD flinched!
"…That worked?"
"Chadlax chips are technically classified as 'Held Item: Explosive,'" Amber explained. "He's not lazy. He's strategic."
Chadlax waddled forward. No battle music. Just his theme song: low-tempo lo-fi beats and crunching.
He used Belly Drum.
Except… he had full HP.
So the system crashed trying to process the cost.
Error: Chadlax refuses to sacrifice HP. Adjusting logic.Chadlax gained max Attack and max Confidence.
He then used Body Slam.
CHA0S-ZARD #2 tried to fly.
It didn't succeed.
Because gravity suddenly applied twice.
Karen's Secret Weapon
With one dragon down, Karen floated into battle like a cotton-candy ghost of vengeance.
Player Three frowned. "What's this? An Espurr cosplaying as a goth?"
Karen blinked once.
The battlefield paused.
Then she used a move I didn't even know existed:
Karen used Ascension.Karen is no longer bound by type or tier.
She floated higher, eyes glowing pink and white.
"W-What just happened?" I asked.
Amber dropped her clipboard. "She unlocked 'True Fairy' form. That's not even code — that's interpretive battle art."
Karen summoned sparkles.
Then threw them like shuriken.
CHA0S-ZARD fainted from sheer aesthetic damage.
Final Move: Midnight Daddy Unleashed
Player Three clenched their fists.
"Enough. I didn't come here to be humiliated by bad code and snack monsters."
They summoned one last Pokémon:
[????? – LV ???]Name: SYSTEM ERRORType: ??? / ???Ability: Undefined
It didn't have a sprite. Just static.
The system stuttered.
Amber shouted, "If that thing hits the field, we could all get force-deleted!"
Midnight Daddy stepped forward.
He didn't glow.
He didn't roar.
He just spoke.
One word.
"No."
The world froze.
SYSTEM ERROR shattered like glass.
[You have been protected by the Umbreon Exception.][Player Three's connection has been terminated.]
Aftermath: Save Restored
The glitch faded.
The Battle Frontier rebuilt itself, as if on autopilot.
NPCs resumed their animations. The sky turned back to "non-apocalyptic blue." Chadlax went back to his beanbag. Karen painted a heart with sparkles.
Amber picked up her clipboard. "You realize what just happened, right?"
"I think so," I said, still dizzy. "Midnight Daddy just Uno-Reversed a corrupted file out of existence?"
She nodded. "You have a shiny Umbreon that speaks in system-level command prompts."
"…That's so hot."
"I'm choosing to ignore that."
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