Chapter 34 – Bob POV – Wedding Nightmare
The hell… where am I? Why am I in a room full of wedding dresses?
I spun around, arms flailing, knocking over a chair. Panic rose with every step. Each dress I saw made the nightmare worse. One had sparkles. One had a massive train. One looked like it belonged on a parade float.
I shouted at one maid:
"Can you explain why I'm here?!"
She stepped closer, voice trembling:
"Lady Guandoline… you will choose your wedding dress for tonight's wedding."
My eyeballs nearly exploded. I shook my head, backing into a wall.
"Wedding… tonight?! And… a dress? Whose wedding is this?!"
The maid blinked nervously.
"Yours… Lady Guandoline."
I paused. Panic and disbelief battling inside me. Then, muttering in horror:
"My wedding… tonight? Seriously? Already? He is insane."
The maid nod and say " yes lady guandoline ... "
I groaned so loud it probably echoed in the kingdom.
"First—stop calling me that! My name is Bob. Second—I'm not a lady! You saw me. Clearly a man. And… what's your name even?"
She swallowed hard, eyes darting around, then whispered:
"I'm Penelope. And… I know you're a man, but if the king says you're his late Queen Guandoline, then… you are. I can't disobey his orders."
I threw my hands up, knocking over a small rack of accessories.
"Yeah, I know it's not your fault. It's that crazy bastard king's fault!"
She slammed a hand over my mouth.
"Sir Bob! Don't say that in his castle… it's dangerous!"
I flailed my hands like I was conducting an orchestra.
"He's too obsessed with me to hurt me. The only dangerous thing here is my wedding with this insane king!"
She gently pushed me toward the dresses.
"I know, but you need to choose… or I'll be killed."
I rolled my eyes so hard I swear I could see my brain.
"Hope they didn't abandon me…"
"Who?" Penelope asked.
"Nothing," I muttered, sidestepping a massive pink tulle gown.
I grabbed the first dress my hand landed on. I held it up.
"This is the dress. Can I go now?"
"No, Miss, you need to try it first," she said nervously.
I threw my hands up like a defeated gladiator.
"Penelope! I'm not a Miss or Lady!"
She lowered her head, whispering:
"I know, Sir Bob. But I have to act like you are… or the guillotine is next."
I groaned, muttering:
"Fine… let's just get this nightmare over with."
I stepped into the changing room. The dress… oh god. A royal princess wedding gown, gigantic, long, pure white, with flowers sewn in like they were trying to trap me in a snowstorm. I almost tripped over the hem.
I stepped out, wobbling slightly, and showed it to Penelope. She clapped.
"You're kind of cute like this! Soft features… that's why he mistakes you for her. With long hair, you'd literally be Guandoline."
I looked at myself in the mirror, muttering to no one:
"Lucky me… my twin is the late wife of a psychopath king… Honestly, I always wanted to get married, find my soulmate, maybe build a family… but me being the wife of this crazy man? This is… a funny ending for me, isn't it?"
I glanced around desperately.
"Bom, Regis, Clavis, Hector, Faye… I hope you didn't leave me here alone in this nightmare. And I hope you're searching for me… before I faint, scream, or run screaming through the castle with this thing dragging me like a snow avalanche."