"Fucking OW."
Rhiannan groaned and rolled onto her side, sand sticking to every part of her body like the world itself was trying to make her exfoliate. She adjusted her dress so her boobs weren't flopping out. Not that her tiny tittie committee boobs were going anywhere, but just in case.
She blinked rapidly against the harsh light of a giant sun that looked a little too close for comfort. Her body ached. Her head pounded. Her mouth tasted like tequila and regret.
She sat up slowly, wincing.
Her beach cover up was shredded, glitter still clinging to the sheer fabric like some tragic mermaid party favor. And underneath it? A sparkly ass nightgown that looked like it was spun from moonlight and poor decisions.
"What in the Sailor Moon hell is this?" She humphed, stomping her barefeet into the sand. She peered around, her eyes widening. She was most definitely not in Maui anymore. Her mind felt heavy, and foggy. She blinked., and realized she didn't remember a fucking thing....other than stepping on a glowing disc and waking up here.
"Okay, nope. I'm dead. This is the afterlife. Fuck. Did I die on camera? Did I just become a ghost influencer? Why can't I remember anything!? I must have hit my head harder than I thought, fucking hell."
Rhiannan shivered lightly, wrapping the remnants of fabric around her body as she realized she had not one clue where she was, who she was, or what the fuck to do. She thought for a second. Well, may as well attempt to make a fire to stay warm before night falls.
She wandered down the beautiful beach, spying the occasional purple starfish and she could have sworn she saw a mermaid dive under the sea. She gathered a few dry driftwood sticks and made a small pile. She searched and searched the beach for some type of flint or rock she could use to make a spark and came up empty handed.
She sighed dramatically, flopping down into the sand next to her stick pile. She layed down, staring up at the strange sky. Have their always been three suns? She wondered. It was beautiful. A pale pink sky with three small, bright orange suns. She smiled. What a beautiful place to live. She may freeze to death, but at least it was pretty.
She stood again, deciding to search more. She walked along the shoreline with wonder in her big brown eyes. Soaking in the scenery. Her auburn hair blew behind her in the breeze and she inhaled deeply as she walked, leaving footprints in the sand behind her.
Suddenly, the wind picked up, slapping her hair right into her face and she sputtered wildly, brushing it away. The hairs on the back of her neck stood straight up and she shuddered. Something was coming.
She wasn't alone anymore. She narrowed her eyes, searching the horizon line but saw nothing.
Then she heard it....creaking. Wooden. Rhythmic. The sound of sails and wind.
Her eyes snapped to the horizon farther out.
A ship.
Not just any ship. A huge, sleek, dark vessel cutting through the violet waves like it was on a damn mission.
And it was headed straight for her. She thought wryly, 'Of course theres an evil pirate ship headed straight for me' She stood staring ahead, the wind kicking up sand around her feet.
She whispered to the wind, "Bring it on." She tilted her head, narrowing her eyes as the barest hint of bell like laughter was heard on the breeze.
She stood there staring, trying to figure out what the hell to do. Should she run? Face them head on. She hummed low in her throat and began to sing softly to calm herself. As she sang, something incredible happened. Small sea creatures slowly crawled from the water. Birds flew overhead chittering loudly and one landed on her shoulder, lightly nipping her cheek with its beak.
She gasped, and didn't move for fear of scaring them away. I'm a real life Disney princess, she thought excitedly as the creatures continued to come from the sea, sky and the nearby forest. Within minutes, Rhiannan was surrounded by creatures she had never seen before, at least she didn't remember it.
She stood in the middle, as the creatures all surrounded her protectively in a tight circle as the ship continued it's approach. She took a deep breath, feeling much calmer and somehow safe within her circle of magic creatures. Her mind whirled. Is this my life? Why am I alone on this beach? Her brow furrowed as she calmly watched the massive pirate ship head towards them.
One of the creatures, the small blue bird who had nipped her cheek, spoke suddenly, "Mistress, we will keep you safe. The Goddess sent us to protect and guide you. Do not fear the ship, they will help you." Rhiannan smiled at the bird, thinking she must have lost her mind, as it has just spoken to her. She nodded in response, not sure what to say to this tiny bird.
She stood firm, planting her barefeet in the sand as she prepared herself to meet the pirates.