They returned to the Smith house just as the late afternoon sun began to paint the sky orange. They felt refreshed, connected, and wrapped in a bubble of shared secrecy and happiness. The bubble lasted exactly as long as it took them to walk through the living room door.
The entire family was there. Rick was soldering something at the coffee table, Jerry was losing to himself in the board game, Morty was engrossed in his phone, Summer was filing her nails, and Beth was reading a book on equine surgery. They all looked up at once.
"Ah, look who's back from their... off-site strategy meeting," Rick said, pushing up his welding mask.
Kaelen and Padmé smiled politely, trying to slip past unnoticed and head to their room. But it was too late. Rick's bionic eye and Summer's teenage eyes were too sharp.
"Well, well, Padmé," Summer said with a mischievous smirk, putting down her nail file. "Did you guys have a very... intense diplomatic session? 'Cause you've got a negotiation mark right there." She pointed to her own neck.
Padmé instinctively brought a hand to her neck. She felt a faint soreness and flushed a crimson color that rivaled the robes of the Royal Naboo Guard. A love bite, a clearly visible memento of their afternoon at the motel, was exposed for the entire Smith family to see.
"It's... it's an allergic reaction to this dimension's pollen," Padmé lied, her Senatorial composure failing her for the first time.
"Uuuurp!" Rick belched. "Sure! 'Pollen allergy.' And I suppose the similar mark on Kaelen's neck is a 'shirt fabric irritation'?"
Kaelen touched his own neck, realizing he too had been marked. His attempt at appearing indifferent crumbled.
Jerry looked between them, completely oblivious. "Pollen? Oh, yeah, this time of year is terrible! You should try some antihistamine. I've got some excellent generic brand."
"Oh my God, Dad, shut up!" Summer moaned. "They're hickeys! My ghost uncle and the space queen have been making out somewhere!"
Morty sank deeper into the couch, wishing a black hole would open up and consume him. "P-please, can we not talk about my uncle's love life?"
Beth closed her book with a sigh of resignation and an amused smile. She looked at Padmé, not with judgment, but with a kind of female camaraderie. "Well, at least someone in this house is having fun."
"Hey!" Jerry protested.
"It's not what it looks like!" Padmé insisted, her Queenly dignity fighting a losing battle against embarrassment.
Kaelen decided the best defense was a good offense. He wrapped an arm around Padmé, pulled her close, and kissed her cheek, uncaring of who saw them.
"Don't worry, darling," he said with a cheeky grin. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. We were just... practicing. For our future. You know, the family-building part."
The word "family" made Rick choke on a belch. "Practicing?! Don't tell me the interdimensional parasite and the Ewok queen are trying to have a baby! Holy cow! Can you imagine the result? A kid with my genius, a politician's moral compass, and the ability to use the Force to steal cookies from the jar! It'd be the perfect tyrant!"
"Don't call him a parasite," Padmé said, her protective instinct overriding her embarrassment.
"And Ewoks are from Endor," Kaelen corrected.
"It's the same thing!" Rick yelled. He turned to Kaelen, a look of comedic horror on his face. "You used protection, right? Please tell me you used those nanotech barrier thingies I gave you! I don't want to be grandpa to some tiny Sith Lord with my hair!"
Kaelen and Padmé exchanged a quick glance. A glance that was both a shared secret and a silent confession. Kaelen's smile widened.
"About that..." he began, clearly enjoying Rick's panic. "There was a slight... equipment malfunction."
Rick's expression went from comedic horror to genuine terror. The thought of a new variable, a grandchild with the potential to be even more chaotic than himself, was the one thing that could truly scare him.
"Oh, no," Rick whispered. "No, no, no."
Kaelen laughed, relishing the moment. For once, he had rendered the loudest man in the multiverse speechless. He and Padmé, with their "negotiation marks" and their shared secret, had achieved the impossible: they had terrified Rick Sanchez. And in that chaotic house, it felt like a victory.