Prakhar quietly went to his room.
He gently took off the black-and-white panda-like t-shirt,folded it with care as if it were a precious gift,and placed it in the safest corner of his wardrobe.
Then he sat on his bedand picked up his diary.
He took a pen and a deep breath—
For the first time today...I felt like I truly belonged to someone.In someone's eyes, in someone's breath,in someone's smile...I am not just a name anymore—I am a feeling. I matter.
Before today, I never really felt what it was to live...not these breaths, not these heartbeats... but when...Shrey's fingers were wrapped around mine,I felt alive again... I felt my breath, I felt my heartbeat...And now, I want to hold on to these feelings within me.
Prakhar kept shaking his leg and fidgeting with his fingers.Sitting across from him, Advait had been watching for a while.When he realized Prakhar wouldn't speak first, he said—
"What's wrong, Senapati... you seem a bit troubled."
Prakhar looked at him for a moment, then lowered his gaze.
Advait made two coffees and placed one in front of him.Picking up his own cup, he said,"If you want to share, you can... as a friend."
Prakhar lifted the cup and quietly muttered—"When did you start believing in relationships?"
Advait smiled,"Exactly... I don't. Because I'm a nihilist—Someone for whom the world doesn't matter.Not the world, not its people, not any relationship...That's why I don't judge anyone either."
Prakhar looked outside and whispered—"I think I have feelings for Shrey..."
"Hm..." was all Advait said.
Prakhar looked surprised—"You don't find it strange?"
Advait replied calmly,"What's strange about it?"
Prakhar hesitated—"He's a boy, and I am too...How can I feel for a boy?"
Advait asked,"Have you ever had feelings for a girl?"
Prakhar shook his head.
"Ever felt your gaze linger on one?"
Again, a no.
Advait said—"Yes, because you are gay.You belong to the LGBTQ community—where people are attracted to the same gender.
But...it's not against nature," Prakhar interrupted—"I mean..."
Advait began explaining—"I get it...In one way, yes, it may seem 'against nature',because if it weren't, nature wouldn't have created two sexes—it would've made only men or only women.
But tell me—Did nature hand you a rulebook saying you must like girls and only be attracted to them?Is it written somewhere?"
Prakhar lowered his head further.
Advait continued—"Nature created all beings to live by their instincts.With time, opposite genders came together and reproduced—but that doesn't mean same-gender attraction is unnatural.
Even our scriptures have examples of same-gender couples—Mitra and Varuna — mentioned in the Rigveda.Ancient Indian temples — Khajuraho, Ellora, Ajanta,even the Sun Temple at Konark —have sculptures that depict such relationships.
Later, when Western colonial powers and Mughals invaded India,they deemed these acts 'sinful'and started persecuting people.
But even in Baburnama,Babur's affection for a young boy 'Babri' is mentioned.Some historians even speculatethe Babri Masjid was named after him—though not confirmed.
Greek civilization had Pederasty —a custom where adult men mentored and were intimate with younger boys.
Even in Greek mythology—Zeus loved a beautiful youth named Ganymede.Philosopher Plato called male-male lovea form of high "spiritual love" in his Symposium.
Roman Emperor Hadriandeeply loved Antinous.When Antinous died, Hadrian built temples in his honorand declared him a god.
Moral of the story:Whether it's India or the rest of the world—same-gender love has existed,been accepted, and respected.
If you feel something for someone—then you feel it.If someone makes you happy—then they do.If you're comfortable with someone—then you are.Why overthink it?"
Prakhar was still silent. His breaths had grown heavier.
"But society..."
Advait completed the sentence—"Yes... it may not accept you.But you'll have to fight.For yourself, and your love.But before that—you must accept yourself.Admit that yes, you're gay.And there's no shame in it.
You know, feelings aren't as complicatedas we make them out to be.It's society that complicates them."
"But Kunwar...he won't let me stay here...He'll move heaven and earth to claim me again..."
Advait asked gently—"What do you want?"
Prakhar looked at his tangled fingers and said—"Life doesn't follow what I want, Advait..."
Advait stared at him and said,"Senapati... remember when we were brought to the palace together?We trained side by side,suffered wounds no one else saw...We became each other's healing.
But we never looked at each other that waybecause hearts don't beat based on logic...Same with Kunwar.
When he first saw you,he was told you were his—his property.And being egoistic and obsessive,he couldn't stand when you received attention from others.He nearly went mad with jealousy.
Remember last time—he nearly killed his own brother for touching you.That's why you're being punished right now..."
"And that's exactly what I fear...what if he hurts Shrey?" Prakhar looked into Advait's eyes.
"I understand...But it's your turn now.Go and tell that mad Kunwar—he can't control everything.If you feel something for someone else,then he can't have you.And even if he does—what will he have? Just a body. Nothing else.
You think he'll understand?You saw his madness yesterday..."
Advait paused, remembering Kunwar's rage.
"So what?Will you keep running from your feelings for the sake of a madman?Till when, Izaan?Till when will you let others ruin your life?"
"Go and tell Kunwar—you are Izaan. Not Prakhar.The 'Prakhar' he craves... he never even existed."
Advait stopped,because tears had begun flowing down Prakhar's cheeks.
"I'm sorry..." — he placed a hand on Prakhar's shoulder.
Prakhar hugged him tightly.
Advait staggered, but then steadied.There were some truths...only he knew.
His voice now firmer—
"Don't run from the truth, Izaan.Go tell Kunwar—you're not the one he's looking for..."
Prakhar lowered his head.
"I won't be able to, Advait...Not if someone else dies again because of me..."
Advait interrupted—"Nothing happened because of you.It wasn't your fault.Don't blame yourself. It was just fate."
Prakhar nodded, wiped his tears,and moved to sit a little farther.
After a few moments of silence, he asked—"Where's Diamond?"
"Shrey took him..." Prakhar replied.
Advait rolled his eyes—"Look at that... he's already learning responsibility."
"Shut up," Prakhar said, slightly annoyed.