The ride back to the apartment complex was silent, Shinso gently rapped his foot against the floor of the carriage as it came to a halt in front of the building.
"Ehh, Parterre de Fleurs huh? You must be stacked!" The carriage driver—a young man with sleek brown hair, smiled back at us.
"Yeah, yeah." Shinso grumbled, stepping out of the carriage's side door and assisting me.
"Could at least acknowledge me." The man let out a low sigh as he commanded the horses forward. The quiet clacking of their hooves against the cobblestone road could be heard as it disappeared into the thin fog.
Shinso slowly turned to me and breathed in the air. "It's cold."
I remained silent, looking down at the road beneath us. I had to knock myself out to end Ayumi's suffering. I was the one who was hurting Ayumi. I was the one who was bringing about suffering with these abilities. My fathers demonic image flashed in my mind, bearing an inhuman smile as he chuckled deeply.
"Is it good to not feel like shit?" He asked, crossing his arms.
A sudden, sharp tug from Shinso pulled me forward, returning me to reality. I had narrowly avoided a carriage that was about to hit me. The driver quickly cursed me out before he kept moving.
"Hey..." Shinso cupped my chin and forced me to look at him. "You don't look good."
"I-I'm fine." I shrugged, a small and forced smile playing with my lips. From the way Shinso's thick brows furrowed I could tell I wasn't fooling him at all.
"No, you're not. Let's get you inside."
Shinso pulled me into the lobby as he sat down in a chair near the dining table we had just eaten at. He grabbed the pot of drinking chocolate and quickly poured me a glass, mixing in a spoonful of cream and milk. It was almost like the other boy knew exactly what I liked.
"Drink up." He said, his tone almost motherly as he pushed me the teacup filled with the steaming liquid. The milk and cream didn't seem to go that good of a job in cooling the drink down. The steam quickly fogged my glasses.
I slowly brought the drink to my lips, taking a small sip. "It's almost like you were made for me."
"Maybe I was, but who am I to judge?" Shinso leaned back in the chair, stretching his arms above his head.
"You're not used to being pampered, are you?" I shook my head, recalling my entire childhood. "No...I'm not."
"My mother doesn't really care, and I put my father behind bars...I think."
Shinso shook his head. "He's most likely in jail now. Physical abuse is a big penalty."
"I could have called the police hundreds of times before, but my f-father would have beaten me half-to-death if I even tried." My hands began to quiver slightly, and the pain in my forehead began to resurface.
"I don't want him to be behind bars....I-I want that son-of-a-bitch to burn."
I let out a sharp groan of pain, causing me to drop the teacup to the floor and stumble back to the floor. Shinso's body shot up as he darted towards me, cupping my chin and forcing me to look at him.
"Hey! Calm down." His grip tightened around my chin, and his brows remained furrowed in obvious concern for my being.
Just then, Shinso's gaze drifted upwards a few millimeters, catching sight of the crimson sigil on my forehead. His eyes widened as his breath lightened.
"What is that?" He asked.
"N-nothing." I ruffled my bangs over the marking, concealing it from view. The curtain of hair didn't have much of an effect, as the radiant crimson light passed through the locks like a car's headlight.
"No...thats..." Shinso gently parted my hair, gazing at the symbol. My body habitually reacted, and I delivered a sharp slap to his palms. "It's nothing, ok?!"
My breath heaved in my chest as the burning intensified slightly. Shinso seemed taken aback, but not angry by my sudden outburst. He tucked his hands into his pockets whilst he glared at the strange markings.
I felt my stomach coil into a knot, the guilt of having hit him overwashing me. I saw my father deliver a sharp slap to my mothers cheek, sending her to the kitchen floor with a grunt of pain. The man, who had seemed to turn into a giant, strode over to her with a grin reminiscent of a demon.
"I-I didn't mean to...I...I." I didn't know what to say, the guilt sealing my throat shut like a thick paste. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't talk, all I could do was watch Shinso.
"Hey, hey." Shinso watched as tears began to prickle the corner of my eyes, threatening to spill forth.
"I'm not mad—not at all." Shinso's voice softened as he reached out his hand, placing it on my trembling shoulder.
"We all have outbursts, we all get angry like that. Don't let this one moment ruin your night." The indigo-haired boy leaned down near me, his lips inches from mine.
"You're not a monster...you're a human." He grabbed the sides of my head, pressing his forehead to mine.
"You're not like your father...he's gone. You're safe."
Hearing his words, I felt the knot in my stomach tighten. The veins in my head wanted to burst as I shoved Shinso off of me, sending the boy back a few steps.
"Shut up." I growled, my teeth gritted as tears began to flow down my face. "I-I..."
I fell silent, my body moving on its own as I turned around and darted down the hallway, dashing up the stairs and barging into the apartment room. I stormed over to my bed and plopped down onto the bed, letting out low sobs into the pillow.
Why did I react like that? Why would I act so violently and hurt Shinso? Why did I cause Ayumi to suffer? Why did I drink that damn potion to begin with?
Those thoughts raced through my mind, causing my heart to constrict with guilt and agony. My body sunk into the sheets as I clutched the pillow with my hands, my fists turning snow-white as I threatened to tear it to shreds.
"Lookie what we have here." A voice sounded behind me. My shot up and I turned around, clawing at the air. Suddenly, a figure manifested out of nowhere. They had a broad forehead, short black hair and a muscular build. On their tank-top were numerous alcohol and food stains, and they were carrying a fast-food bag.
"Looking pathetic like always, dumpster boy." My father chortled, popping a chicken tender into his mouth.
He was eating the same fast-food meal I was supposed to have the night he was sent to prison. I could tell this ghastly figure was mocking me as he continued to eat the food with an almost ridiculous sloppiness.
"I hope y'beat up that clerk for me, otherwise I'd rip the poor man's head off." He said, some food falling from his mouth as his lips curled into a smile.
Just then he put the bag down on the bedside table, walking over to me and sitting down on the bed beside me. The man in the tanktop remained silent for a few moments as he reached into his pocket, taking out something that made me want to throw up.
It was the butcher knife, coated in warm, crimson blood. The man gently laid it out on my lap, giving me a gentle pat on the knee. "You more than anyone else wants to stick that in me."
As if to mock me further, my father spread his arms and grinned like a monster. His form quickly changed, his muscles bulging obscenely as a pair of goat-like horns protruded from his skull, tearing through his skin and causing blood to trickle down his forehead.
My "father" noticed this, wiping some of the blood off his forehead and onto his now forked tongue. "Too bad you pass out when you see this stuff. It's actually quite tasty."
My "fathers" skin was now a dark gray, and his body grew muscles reminiscent of body-builders. A large, demonic tail swung side-to-side behind him, gently swaying as he continued to gaze into me.
"Shut up..." My hand darted towards the knife on the bed, picking it up and stabbing him right in the throat. My breath hitched as more crimson blood gushed forth from the open wound. In an act of finality, I closed my eyes and twisted the knife, feeling the tissue and muscle tear like pieces of paper under my grip.
"W-what are you doing?!" I heard Shinso's voice call out, strained.
My fathers figure instantly disappeared, and I caught sight of Shinso on the bed. His face was almost blue as my hands remained clasped around his throat, my teeth sinking into the soft tissue, but failing to penetrate deep enough to cause wounds.
I don't think my hands moved so fast in my life. I instantly retracted my hands from Shinso's throat, which were trembling heavily behind my back.
"What the hell..." I whispered. Tears began pouring down my face as I scrambled back on the bed, pressing my hands against my head as I began to hyperventilate. Shinso gagged and coughed as he slowly leaned up on my bed, gazing at me with a look of annoyance on his face.
"What the fuck was..." His eyes widened when he caught sight of my distressed form. The indigo-haired boy slowly took a deep breath as he crawled over to me.
"Hey...you're not doing very well." His hand wrapped around my shoulder.
I couldn't speak at the moment. I wanted to, but the words were lodged in my throat. Shinso's other hand trailed up and down my face, tracing small circles up and down.
My breathing remained shaky and quick in my chest, the room around me spinning. I leaned back against the wall, my breathing quickening even more. I felt like I was gonna pass out.
At that moment, Shinso's arms wrapped around me as he pulled me into his chest. He looked down at me with empathetic eyes, a small smile forming on his face.
"Hey...you're ok." He said, one of his arms loosening to wipe my tears away. My head lowered into his chest as a wave of fresh tears poured from my eyes, dampening Shinso's outfit.
"It's ok...you're ok." Shinso whispered, burying his head into my hair, inhaling the scent deeply. "I got you."
I felt the boy rocking my body back and forth as if I were an infant, his breathing remained still, and he began to hum softly. It was a song I didn't exactly recognize, but I felt like I had heard it before.
We stayed like this for a good ten minutes. Eventually, my tears dissipated the longer I sat in Shinso's embrace.
"There you go...you're ok." Shinso smiled softly.
I looked up at the boy, his grip around me loosening as I wiggled out of his embrace. My face flushed slightly as I ran a hand through my hair.
"You're...oddly good at comforting." I said with a small smile.
"I'm not used to it, but I feel like...you're that one person I wanna do it to." Shinso's smile widened slightly as he leaned back in my bed, stretching his arms above his head.
Seeing this, I heaved. "I sleep there." I let out a low, deprecating chuckle.
"Well..." Shinso's lips curled into a Cheshire smile. "Maybe I can be your pillow tonight."
"E-excuse me?..." My face heated even more, and I turned away from the boy.
At that moment, Shinso's hand gently cupped my chin, forcing me to look into his eyes. "Last time you dodged. This time, there's nowhere you can run."
Shinso leaned forward, his lips crashing into mine. I felt a surge of shock, and I instantly pulled away from his grip, inhaling all the breath I had lost.
"I'm not ready for that!" I gasped, my face turning slightly pale. Upon seeing this, I think I saw Shinso pout a little.
"Why?"
I looked towards him, my eyes moistening again slightly. "I don't want to...be like him."