I broke down again, unable to hold it in anymore. My voice cracked as I said, "Phu… I don't know what kind of life you live, and maybe I never really asked. I'm sorry for that. But I need you to understand something…"
He leaned closer, eyes locked on mine, quiet.
"I get hurt easily," I added. "I panic easily.That's just who I am. If something's going on—if your life is complicated or messy—I want to hear it from you, Phu. Not from someone else."
My voice shook as I continued, "Even if it's bitter, I'd rather it come from you. So I can take it, so I can brace myself. I know love isn't all about happiness. I know there'll be pain. But I want that pain and that happiness to come from you, not from someone else. I want it to be ours."
Phu didn't wait. He pulled me into a tight embrace.
He held me like he didn't want to let go.
"I'm sorry," he whispered into my shoulder, his voice breaking. "I'm so sorry, Ian. I didn't mean to break you. I didn't mean to hurt you like this. I was stupid. I was scared. I'm really, really sorry."
I held him, too.
For a moment, we were just two people—broken, scared, but still holding on.
Phu held me tightly in his arms, the warmth of his body grounding me in the middle of everything I was feeling. Still wrapped in that embrace, he gently kissed my neck, his lips soft against my skin. I felt a shiver run down my spine.
He pulled back slightly, looking into my eyes as if silently asking for permission. Then, without breaking our gaze, he lifted me effortlessly and carried me to the bedroom. I didn't resist—I was still clinging to him, my heart beating fast but not from fear. From something else. Something new.
He laid me down gently on the bed, still close, still wrapped around me. His kisses moved from my neck to my ear, his breath warm and teasing.
"Phu… that tickles," I said with a soft laugh.
He smirked. "I know. That's why I'm doing it."
There was mischief in his eyes, but also tenderness. I whispered, "I've never… done this before."
Phu's expression softened. "Don't worry," he said, brushing my hair from my face. "We go slow. Only what you're okay with."
He slowly unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off, revealing his toned chest. He leaned down and helped me out of mine, his touch gentle, careful, reverent. He kissed my collarbone, then down to my chest, leaving a trail of warmth behind.
When his lips reached my nipple, I gasped—not out of fear, but out of unfamiliar sensation. He smiled softly, never rushing, never forcing. Just being there—with me.
The night unfolded slowly between us—intense, tender, overwhelming.
Phu's touch was electrifying. A jolt ran through me with every caress, each one sending shivers down my spine. I bit my lip, trying to control the sounds that threatened to escape, but the sensation was overwhelming. His fingers danced with a confidence that both thrilled and terrified me.
"Phu," I gasped, my voice barely a whisper. "It's... It's too much."
He paused, his breath hot against my ear. "Too much good, or too much bad?" he murmured, his voice laced with a playful intensity.
I couldn't answer. I didn't know. It was all so new, so intense, that I was lost in a whirlwind of sensation. My body was on fire, every nerve ending screaming for more.
He seemed to sense my uncertainty. His touch softened, becoming more gentle, more explorative. He traced the curve of my thigh, his fingers light as a feather, then dipped lower, teasing the edge of my desire.
A moan escaped me, louder this time, and I arched against his hand, unable to resist the pull. "Ahhh.....Phu..."
He chuckled softly, a low rumble in his chest. "I like that sound," he whispered. "Do you like this?"
I nodded frantically, my eyes still closed, lost in the moment. His touch was driving me wild, pushing me closer and closer to the edge. I could feel the tension building within me, coiling tighter and tighter, and I knew I was about to shatter.
The wave hit, a blinding white heat that seized my body, making me arch against the sheets, the grip on the bed frame tightening convulsively. Phu's aggressive kiss deepened, sucking my breath away, his finger nipping harder on my nipple, grounding me in the intense pleasure and pain.
My moans became guttural cries, ragged breaths tearing from my throat as the tremors rocked through me, a complete surrender to the release.
Every muscle tensed, then melted, leaving me breathless and trembling, clinging to Phu as the echoes of the climax slowly faded from the room, leaving behind the pounding of our hearts and the damp sheets beneath us.
We lay there, tangled in each other—our breaths still uneven, hearts racing in sync.
Phu turned to me, his eyes soft and searching. He smiled, brushing a few damp strands of hair away from my forehead. "That was… intense," he whispered.
I let out a breathless laugh, still catching mine. "Yeah… it was."
There was a quiet pause. Not awkward—just full. Full of everything we didn't need to say out loud. He leaned in again, his lips brushing mine—not rushed, not hungry like before, but slow and tender. Like he was sealing the moment. Like a thank you. Like a promise.
I closed my eyes and let myself sink into it. This kiss wasn't about passion—it was about staying. About being here, now, with him.
He pulled away just enough to rest his forehead against mine.
"No matter what happens next," he murmured, "just know I'm not going to disappear."
I didn't answer. I just held him closer, hoping he could feel what I couldn't yet say with words.
For the first time in days, I felt calm.
Maybe it wasn't perfect. Maybe the future was still messy. But right now?
Right now, it felt like love.
Afterwards
We both had a quick shower. I looked around for Phu's bag, searching for one of his oversized shirts. I found a white one—soft, worn, familiar—and slipped it on. It hung loosely on me, almost like a hug.
Still towel-drying my hair, I sank into the couch, the fabric cool against my skin. The room smelled faintly of soap and something that was just him—calming, comforting, like nothing had to be said.
"I'm hungry," I said, rubbing my stomach.
Phu, already half-dressed and towel-drying his hair, looked at me and grinned. "Pizza?"
I nodded. "Easy and fast."
He picked up his phone and made the order, then came to sit beside me. We scrolled through channels and settled on a random Thai drama—some over-the-top romance that made us both laugh and cringe at the same time.
When the pizza arrived, we didn't even bother with plates. We just opened the box between us on the couch and started eating, tearing slices, feeding each other in between giggles and mock drama reactions.
Every chance he got, Phu leaned over and kissed me—on my neck, my fingers, my nose. It was like he couldn't stop touching me, like he was trying to replace every past hurt with affection. I smiled through every bite, every kiss, every glance.
For the first time in a long while, I felt full. Not just from food—but from something deeper. Warmth. Safety. Maybe even hope.
"I could get used to this," I said quietly.
Phu looked at me, his eyes still gentle, and replied, "Then let me make it your everyday."
Phu stayed over for the night. Since I had work in the morning, I contacted Nok around 8 a.m. to let her know I'd be there by 11.
"Okay, don't be late," she said. "Today's the result day—James is picking all the final pictures for the agency to submit for the advertisement."
"I won't be late," I promised.
Phu got up around 9 a.m. We had a simple breakfast—just bread and sunny-side-up eggs.
He kept staring at me the entire time. I looked up at him and asked, "What is it you want to say?"
"Nothing," he replied with a soft smile. "I'm just looking at my boyfriend, who looks really cute and sweet."
I laughed. "Oh, really?"
I walked over and stood beside him, sipping my coffee while watching him eat. He looked back at me while biting into the bread and egg.
That's when I noticed a little piece of egg yolk stuck on his upper lip. Without saying a word, I leaned in, gently sucked it off with my mouth, and smiled at him.
Phu froze for a second, surprised, then grinned. "You're dangerous in the morning," he said, still chewing, eyebrows raised.
I laughed and went back to my coffee. "Well, you said I looked sweet. But sweet doesn't mean boring."
He chuckled. "Noted."
There was a comfort in the kitchen now—no drama, no lingering pain—just soft smiles and quiet joy. After everything that had happened, this felt… earned.
I glanced at the time. "Shit, it's 9:45 already. I gotta shower and get ready or Nok will murder me."
Phu said, "Go, go. I'll clean up here."
Before I could leave, he grabbed my wrist gently. I turned.
"You're really going to work with James today?" he asked, a hint of concern in his voice.
I nodded. "Yeah. I can handle him. Besides, it's just picking the picture—will be settled in 1 hour."
Phu studied my face for a second, then gave a small nod. "Alright. Just text me if anything feels off, okay?"
"I will."
I leaned in and kissed his cheek—soft, short, but filled with reassurance. "Thanks for last night. For… not running away when things got real."
He pulled me into a quick hug. "I'm not running anymore. I promise."