I was crying again.
I'm not proud to admit it.
Was it because of some deep seated pain of sorts? Nope.
Maybe I was spiraling through a depression or having a midlife crisis? Or possibly could it be that I stubbed my toe again?
Nope again, in fact, none of the above.
Instead, I was crying because of this…
This thing in front of me.
This absolute weapon of mass destruction that currently took the innocent shape of a bowl of ramen.
"How?" I whispered between mouthfuls, tears coming out of my eyes like freshly dewed grass.
"How is it so good?!"
Ichirakus ramen was a master-craft in culinary arts.
The presentation? Visually stunning.
The flavor? Out of this world.
The noodles? Perfectly cooked, not too soft or too hard, just the right texture.
The broth was savory and filling, enhancing the subtle spices of every bite.
Each piece of meat felt like I was eating prime wagyu, melting in my mouth with each bite.
You may think I'm kidding, but the scary part?
I wasn't.
My mother in my first life had never made japanese food, let alone ramen and yet…somehow, someway… it brought me the feeling of eating a home cooked meal at her table.
Was this what that dude from Ratitoullie was going through at the time?
I was literally brought to tears.
"What the hell did they put in this ramen?!" I blurted out after my final gulps.
To my right sat Naruto with his own bowl, happily eating while in between mouthfuls sending me the biggest grin I've ever seen.
"I told you it's good."
"Good doesn't even describe it." I told him flat out. "Trust me, when food manages to bring a man to tears that isn't just cooking anymore, that's food for the soul. It's literally soul food."
"You're not wrong," Naruto nodded sagely.
A giggle stole my attention as I looked up and saw the daughter of the restaurant, Ayame Ichiraku, watching both of us closely with a smile.
I froze.
Ayame was pretty in a homely way, there was a certain softness about her features that gave me the impression that she was incredibly kind.
Her dark brown hair was tied up in a bun and she was only clad in a simple black dress and white cooking smock, but somehow the way she held herself made it appear high class.
I'd been so tired after my run here with Naruto that I'd simply laid my head on the table when we entered and only looked up when the bowl was in front of my face.
That means she'd watched.
She watched the entire time as I stuffed my face…
All the while crying like a baby…
As her amused gaze bore into my eyes the only thing I could do at this point was not react.
"..."
"..."
"Ahem, Miss, please give me some face and pretend you never saw that."
"Fufufu." She laughed. "Your ears are turning red."
I cupped my ears while attempting to keep as straight a face as possible.
"I'm sure you're imagining it."
"HAHAHA" Naruto burst into laughter.
"I've never seen you embarrassed like that before Kitsuji, that's a good look on you."
"Shut it," I shot the blonde a look while slowly removing my hands off my ears.
Did they really turn red? God I hope they didn't.
"So your name's Kitsuji huh?" Suddenly the older brunette was much closer, leaning over the counter as she got a close up look at me. "I'm Ayame Ichiraku, nice to meet you."
"Kitsuji Batto," I bowed slightly, "the pleasure is mine."
There was a small pause as she evaluated my introduction with an inquisitive gaze before a playful smile came on her face.
"Well aren't you a charmer? Don't think I'll forget what you said earlier, soul food was it?"
"Aboslutely." I agreed, utterly serious.
That seemed to catch her off guard as her playful look shifted, her eyes widening a bit.
I could tell her type straight off the bat.
The best way to flip the script on these teasing types of women was to not play along to begin with.
She probably wanted to nudge me some more, get another reaction out of me, but unfortunately for her that was a one time thing.
"It truly was an incredible meal," I continued before standing up, making Naruto make a squawk of surprise.
I then gave her a full ninety degree bow. "It reminded me of a meal my mother once cooked, thank you very much."
When I looked up she was giving me a stunned look, one that quickly morphed into one of embarrassment as she shifted her posture, a hand on her hip while the other twiddled a lock of smooth brown hair.
"Geez…your welcome I guess. Hehe~ anyone who gives Me and Dad's cooking that type of regard is always welcome here. You don't really have to go as far as to bow though."
"It's just the way I felt about it, Miss Ayame."
"Well, if you say so…"
"Ah! Let the kid express himself Ayame!" A Male voice chimed cheerfully from behind her.
There was a ruffling of cloth before a figure stepped from behind a cloth curtain.
"It's been a while since we had such honest folk in here."
Standing there with a metal ladle in his hand and a passionate look on his face was an older man wearing white clothing and a chef's hat.
It was the God of Shinobi himself, the True Sage of Six Paths of this verse.
Teuchi Ichiraku.
Okay maybe he wasn't all those things, but to me he might as well have been considering his food gave me such incredible nostalgia.
"Naruto! How are ya kid." He asked with a smile, giving my classmate a hearty pat on the shoulder.
"I'm great!" Naruto grinned back, "better yet, i'm improving with every bowl, old man."
Rather than be offended at the knucklehead calling him old, Teuchi simply laughed.
"That's good, that's good. Make sure to eat lots of ramen every day so you grow big and strong!"
The chef flexed his arm with a big smile.
"Haha it's a done deal! Believe it!" was the response.
I blinked.
Wait- no i'm pretty sure eating ramen daily wouldn't be the most nutritious thing around right?
My thoughts were cut off as Teuchi stepped in front of me and held his hand out.
"I'm Teuchi Ichiraku, I also heard the things you said about my cooking."
"Kitsuji Batto," I introduced myself again, reaching out and shaking his hand with a firm grip. "Like I said earlier, it's a pleasure, your food is amazing."
Somehow his kind smile became even warmer, "The pleasures all mine. You've got good tastes kid, come back anytime. Any friend of Naruto's is a friend of ours."
"Yeah," Ayame joined in agreement, eye's warm. "If you need anything just let us know, we won't bite you know."
"I appreciate it, Teuchi-Sama. Ayame-Sama." I earnestly told them, making sure to use the highest form of honorific I can think of.
Teuchi and Ayame had always been some of my favorite characters of the series, one of the few people who'd supported the hyperactive ninja all the way since childhood.
It was great to see that in person they were still good people.
"Fufufu no need to add Sama to it Kitsuji, Ayame is just fine."
"Hmm, let him address you how he wants Ayame, it's quite good for the younger generation to know how to respect their elders." He then crossed his arms, shooting the blonde beside me a fond look. "Besides, it's not like I get much of it from our number one customer over there."
Contrary to Ayame's refusal of the honorific her father seemed in a good mood from my manners, even managing to throw shade at my classmate.
Said addict was face deep in a bowl as he happily chowed down.
Seeing him in such a position… I admit, I was a bit envious.
"There is one thing you can do for me right now, Teuchi-Sama, Ayame."
Ichiraku raised one of his eyebrows. "Hm?"
"Can I have one more bowl please?"
He shot me a big grin.
"Kid you can have as many as you want."
(Scene Change)
After The God of Shinobi himself made me another bowl of ramen, this one I managed to scarf down without bursting into tears, he went into the back to accompany his daughter.
It was just me and Naruto in the shop at the moment and I could only gaze in wonder as the blonde finished his fifth bowl with a blissed out look.
"Dude.." I couldn't help but say in awe, "This shouldn't even be physically possible, those bowls are the size of your head."
"Whaddya mean? *Slurp* This is- *Slurp* nothing." He said in between mouthfuls before swallowing the broth of the bowl in one go. "I could easily go for a couple more bowls."
"Please don't." I deadpanned, "Watching this is starting to make me a bit noxious."
"Heh," Naruto rubbed his nose with a finger, "You're just jealous you can't eat as much as me, don't worry, you'll get there."
"Uh, no. Don't think I will." I mumbled while watching him rub his swollen belly. " not unless I magically gain another stomach or something."
Although.. now that I think about it, couldn't I just use Insight to manually speed up my metabolism to absorb and redistribute nutrients faster?
Wait- why the hell haven't I thought of that already? I was literally studying the digestion system like four days ago…
Thoughts for later.
"Are you really gonna go for another bowl?"
"Nah I'm done," he stretched, his stack of bowls leaning haphazardly. "In fact after all this food I should really get some training done."
Training huh, he's not wrong… that gets me thinking.
"Hey Naruto, That's actually something I wanted to ask you about."
The blonde paused mid stretch, tilting his head. "Wuzzat?"
"Where exactly do you train?" I scratched the back of my head impishly. "I've been trying to find a private training ground but all the ones I know of are Genin only."
He perked up. "Oh?! Somewhere private huh? That's easy, I know a spot."
What? It can't be that easy can it?
"Really?!"
Perhaps sensing the doubt in my question he shot me a suspicious look.
"Oi Oi, I'm gonna be the boss of this place one day, you know?" He stood up straighter and puffed out his chest. "Of course I know most of the super top secret spots around here by now."
"Okay okay. I believe ya, no need to brag about it."
With guys like this it was better to just go with the flow.
Content with my statement, Naruto gave a satisfied nod before continuing. "Its a bit out of the way but I could show you if you want."
"Please, it'd be a big help actually."
Hey, I may be an asshole in both lives but in my first life I was at least raised with manners okay. A little politeness could go a long way sometimes.
"Hah, Leave it to me!" He rolled up one of his orange sleeves and pumped his bicep. "I know the perfect spot to train, should we go now?"
"You got anything else to do today?"
"Nah I'm free, lets do it. Ah-" He paused "We'll have to stop by my house though, I gotta grab a few things."
"That's fine." I shrugged, "I'm not in a rush or anything."
"Great!"
With our plan settled, we both paid for our meal by leaving the ryo on the counter, before exiting our seats.
If this training ground is a decent size, I've got some ideas I want to implement…
Later on, I realized we were so swept up in training fever that we even forgot to properly say goodbye to Ayame and Teuchi.
Hopefully they don't mind.
(scene change)
We walked side by side on our way to his house, my hyperactive friend had his hands behind his head as he hummed something under his breath.
I tried not to pay too much attention to it, but people really did avoid him.
It was as if he had a barrier on him, the people parted and maneuvered around the blonde like a school of fish would an outcropping rock.
Wherever he went, smiles became frowns.
Of course, the joyful protagonist appeared completely unphased.
For each person who sent a scathing look his way he'd simply flash a broad grin.
As we moved deeper into the city one older woman saw him and flashed an ugly snarl before quickly turning around.
I looked over at Naruto.
He seemed completely unbothered, in fact, there was a grin on his face that simply projected smugness.
I raised an eyebrow. "Okay, you wanna explain that one? She actually looked like she would strangle you or something."
"Haha yeah," He rubbed his nose with a finger, glee evident. "I bet she did."
I gave him a look at his weird response. "Uh, you gonna tell me why?"
"Hmm. I gathered about a hundred roaches in a shoebox, covered them in itching powder, then put it under her bed while she was sleeping." His expression was like a cowboy that had just wrangled his first bull. Full of pride. "She was itching for weeks haha."
I stopped walking momentarily, the mental imagery hitting me.
Then I shivered.
No. Nope. Not thinking about it
He noticed the pause and turned slightly to shoot me a side eye with a foxy grin.
"What?"
I continued my walk, quickly catching up to his gait.
"Eh, I mean- I know you like to prank people…hell you've even gotten me a few times now that I think back on it. But…I guess I've never seen you do anything that severe to anyone at the academy."
And I'm glad he didn't.
That wasn't a harmless prank in the vaguest of terms, that was just some straight up malicious shit.
I mean you really gotta think about it. He broke into that ladies house to get this done. That's some hardcore stuff if you ask me.
He kept his easygoing smile, but there was something dark in his expression that I'd never seen before.
For a moment, I got the impression he was reliving a memory.
"She deserved it." He said the words with a carefully guarded tone.
"..."
"..."
"I believe you."
I simply affirmed his words and left it at that.
I mean good grief, anyone who managed to get that kind of response out of Naruto of all people definitely deserved what they got coming to them.
I honestly didn't expect the guy to have it in him.
But then again…
When any man is oppressed, they're going to find a way to create an outlet for their stress.
I suppose this was just Naruto's way of approaching it.
My remark obviously wasn't within the normal ballpark of what he was expecting, as he scratched his head and gave me a curious look.
"You're not gonna ask why I did it?"
I raised an eyebrow, "You said she deserved it so i'll take your word for it."
"Just like that?"
"Just like that."
There was a small silence as we continued our walk.
"You know when you're not being such a grumpy downer you can be kind of cool Kitsuji."
"Oi, don't go throwing shots my way cause you're embarrassed."
"Embarrassed? Who's embarrassed? For what? Not me!"
And just like that, the awkward moment was surpassed and our journey continued.
Along the way we ran into quite a few more people who looked like they had a personal bone to pick with Naruto.
Each time he would give a grin that gives me chills, before explaining what he did to them and why he did it.
"Hey! Hey! That baldy with the hat used to always bring his dog around to do its business on my lawn. I told him to stop but he laughed in my face and said he could do what he wants, so I gathered a bunch of dog crap from the park, put it in a bag, lit it on fire and threw it on his porch. Hahaha it took him ages to stomp it out."
He explained to me loudly even as the same man he was talking about was passing us.
I could literally see the mans knuckles turn white as he balled them up into fist, but he didn't say a word.
"Oh! See the skinny guy with the ugly hair? He owns a market store, he used to only sell me rotten milk. It was when I was younger so It took me a couple weeks to figure it out. Once I realized though, I found out what shampoo he used and replaced it with paint thinner. That's why his hair looks like that, it's fake. "
Each story he told me made my eyes go bigger and bigger until I couldn't help but ask
"How the hell did they not all band together to kill you yet?"
"They tried a few times but i'm pretty good at sneaking away."
"You literally wear a bright orange jacket,"
He grinned smugly.
"That's what makes me awesome."
"Fair enough."
I couldn't contradict him on that.
(Scene change)
I looked out on a worn down apartment complex that looked similar to my own.
"I gotta grab my training supplies," Naruto told me. "You can wait outside or come in if you want."
He then made an odd face, clutching his stomach.
"Actually, you might as well come in, I gotta use the restroom real quick."
"Guess all those bowls of ramen really came back to bite you huh."
"Actually, I think it was the milk I drank this morning. Urgh- actually let's just go."
He then rushed into the complex, leaving me to tail after him as he entered an apartment, leaving the door ajar for me.
I heard the sound of a door closing before I was left alone at the entrance of his place.
Walking in I was greeted with a simple flat, its space even smaller than my own.
Walking into the living room I saw a mess.
Empty ramen cops, old dishes, dirty laundry and more.
It wasn't a pig sty per say, but it was definitely a room lived in by a teenage boy.
My fingers jostled restlessly against my pants as I observed the room.
Walking through it I spied a tiny kitchen to the left, a stack of dirty dishes in the sink.
My eye twitched.
I walked out of the kitchen and towards the right I could see an open door to what looked like a small closet that had been turned into a study.
In it was an assortment of academy textbooks and scrolls along with random papers scattered around, all arrayed in a way that someone could sit in the middle and see everything at once.
It was honestly pretty respectable to me that the blonde appeared to really be trying his best, whether it was at school or at home.
However, the fact that it was in such disarray was raising my blood pressure.
I closed the door before taking a seat on his weathered leather couch.
My eyes roamed around while a finger on my thigh kept tapping away as I spied more and more trash around me.
Don't do it Kitsuji, you don't have to do anything, this isn't your house.
Then I spied it. Right there in the corner, evil's avatar itself.
A trash can that was full, its lid bulging.
"Alright that's it."
I lost it.
(Twenty minutes later)
*Flush* *Creak*
"Oh man," The blonde exited the restroom with a grin, "I really needed that, thanks for waiting Kits- did you clean my house?!"
Indeed, what awaited the number one hyperactive knucklehead was a clean apartment and in the middle of his living room I sat.
I was practically sprawled out over his couch.
"Yeah, I cleaned it." I admitted, staring up at the ceiling.
"Wow! Thanks!" The blonde said with awe, looking all around. "You didn't have to do that."
My eyes shifted to him.
"Yes. Yes I did."
"No really, I would've gotten to it."
At his words I suddenly stood up, before walking over to him and giving a cold stare.
"Naruto."
"Yes?"
I gave his shoulder a firm grip.
"Please keep your house clean."
"Well I mean- normally I do a good cleaning once a month-"
My eye twitched before I forced myself to calm down and let go of his shoulder.
"Look." I cut him off while pointing to the living room, "See this living room?"
"Yeah?"
"See how all the trash is gone?"
"Yeah."
"See how I gathered up all the dirty laundry and straightened out the cushions of your couch?"
"Yeah.."
"It's nice right?"
"Yeah…"
"Feels more roomy right?"
"..."
"I think so too." I told him, giving a kind smile.
Then I urged him to follow me into the kitchen.
He sweat-dropped but didn't put up a fight.
"See this kitchen?" I pointed to the spotless kitchen, clean dishes stacked to the side and now empty trash can.
"Er, I was gonna get to that."
"You see it though right?" I butt in.
"The kitchen?"
"Yeah, the kitchen." I confirmed. "It's nice right?"
"Yeah…It's nice.'
I then gave him a grin and a firm pat on the back.
"Let's keep it that way." I told him. Still smiling.
"You know you can be really creepy sometimes, Kitsuji."
"Thanks bud."
"That wasn't a compliment."
(Scene change)
"So this is it huh?"
I surveyed Naruto's training ground with interest.
After my subtle threatening of the blonde to keep his place up to standard. It was only a ten minute walk from his abode until we came across it.
It was placed on the outer rim of the village, a small glade in a copse of trees with green grass.
I could see that the place was well used, as there was a training dummy with plenty of gouges from ninja tools in the middle of the area.
"That's right!" The blonde boisterously told me with a big grin. "Welcome to one of many secret training grounds of your future Hokage!"
"Not bad." I murmured.
I'm sure any ninja that wasn't fresh out of the academy could easily find this spot, but it wasn't like I didn't already know that.
Avoiding the eyes and ears of a village full of competent ninja was basically impossible as I was now, but it was well out of the way, and felt a lot more private than the academy training grounds.
"So why'd you need a place like this anyway? I normally just come here cause the academy's grounds close at sunset."
"Eh," I shrugged. "I just feel like I concentrate better when there's less eyes on me."
Naruto shot me a confused look. "Does that really matter?"
"Of course." I replied. "Isn't it a lot cooler when you train by yourself, only to surprise everyone later when you come out with a cool move they've never seen before."
I put it in terms he could understand.
His fist hit his palm as he nodded sagely.
"You're right! That's totally the best way to do it."
"Of course I'm right. The rule of cool has never let anyone down."
I saw his eyebrows narrow as he mouthed 'rule of cool.' but I shook him out of it by patting his shoulder.
"Anyways, wanna spar?"
That seemed to work as his expression lit up.
"Hell yeah! Are we allowed to use kunai and shuriken?"
I paused before glancing at the tool pouch on my right thigh.
I'd taken to keeping it on me at all times. It was oddly calming to know that you always had a weapon on hand.
"I don't think that'll work." I told him. "Mine aren't blunted like the ones we get from the academy."
After learning that the training tools we got from the academy were intentionally dulled, I'd made it a point to personally buy some ones that were actually lethal.
"Ah, you can just use some of mine, I took some extra when Iruka sensei wasn't looking so I could train later."
My eyebrows raised. "Did you just admit to me that you stole from the academy?"
"Nah," He waved a hand flippantly. " I'm just borrowing them. I'll return em' later."
"You know..Iruka sensei probably noticed, he is a Chunin after all."
"No way. I'm sneaky enough to get past a guy like him." He boasted while crossing his arms in an X. "Besides, even if he did see it, he didn't say anything about it to me. So either way it's fine."
"..."
I wanted to reject his line of thinking purely based on the principle that there's no way a Chunin wouldn't catch an academy student doing something before two things came to the forefront of my thought process.
One, this was the guy who painted the Hokage monument in broad daylight while in a bright orange jumpsuit. And two, he actually made a good point.
"Huh.." My head tilted in awe. "I didn't know you could say something so smart."
"Oi."
"Heh."
This guy was too easy to tease.
(Chapter End.)