Harder than she expected.That's the truth Eliza didn't say out loud.
She missed him — missed him in a way that made her chest ache. The house felt quieter without him, even though he'd never lived there. Her world just felt… smaller. Like someone had taken all the color out of it and left her watching everything in grayscale.
She didn't want to admit how often her eyes wandered to her phone. Or how many times she scrolled through their old messages just to see his name pop up again. Just to feel a little bit of the warmth he gave her even if it was through a cold screen.
He'd only been gone a few days, but the space he left behind felt massive.
Sure, they texted constantly. Little messages all day long memes, jokes, random thoughts, pictures of cute things, weird things, beautiful skies. Lucifer never stopped reaching out.
And they FaceTimed every night even if it was just for ten minutes before one of them dozed off. Sometimes he called her while curled in bed, hair messy, blanket pulled over his head like a kid. Sometimes she answered while standing in the kitchen, whispering soft late-night things with sleep still in her voice.
It helped.
But it didn't fix it.
No amount of video calls or sleepy smiles could replace the way he looked at her in person. Or how it felt when he hugged her tight, like he was afraid she might float away if he let go. She missed the way his hand would find hers under the table when no one was looking. She missed the way he smelled like a mix of soap, mint gum, and that warm mischief that was all his.
She missed him so much, her stomach twisted with quiet, aching knots.
So she stayed busy. Or at least, she tried to.
She helped her mom hang fairy lights along the staircase, humming half-heartedly to the Christmas playlist echoing through the house. She reorganized her bookshelves until her hands cramped. Cleaned her room twice. Even sorted her closet, tried on old outfits, and danced to imaginary music just to fill the silence.
But none of it worked.
Eventually, she gave up pretending and texted Ava.
Eliza: Wanna hang out? I need a distraction.
Ava: I thought you'd never ask. I'm bringing snacks and snow boots. Prepare for chaos.
It was freezing — the kind of cold that bit through gloves and made your breath hang in the air like ghosts. But Eliza bundled up, shoved her phone deep in her coat pocket, and headed to the nearby park.
To her surprise, Ryan was there too.
"Oh great," Eliza groaned as she spotted them, arms crossed. "The chaos twins."
Ryan threw a handful of snow in the air like confetti. "You're welcome. I bring sunshine to every gathering."
Ava rolled her eyes. "You bring loud commentary and bad jokes."
They found a bench under a tree dusted in soft snow. The world around them was quiet — blanketed in white, the kind of hush only winter brought. Everything felt slower. Softer.
Eliza leaned forward, elbows on her knees, watching her breath fog in the air.
"It's no fun when Lucifer's not around," she said quietly, not really intending to say it out loud.
Ava glanced at her and gave a small smile. "You really miss him, huh?"
Eliza nodded, tugging her scarf tighter. "I didn't think I'd feel it this much."
Ryan stretched his legs out dramatically. "So, Ava. Would you miss me like that if I wasn't around?"
Ava snorted. "Miss you? Who even remembers you once you leave?"
"Ouch." Ryan clutched his chest in mock pain. "Straight through the heart. I'm emotionally destroyed."
"Good," Ava said with a straight face — and then nailed him in the face with a snowball.
Eliza laughed — full, belly-deep laughter that surprised her. The kind of laugh that shook off the heaviness sitting on her chest. Watching them bicker like some cartoon couple made her forget for a moment how much she missed him.
Ryan wiped snow from his lashes. "You know what? When I disappear and become a famous millionaire, then you'll miss me."
Ava raised an eyebrow. "Only because I'd finally have peace and quiet."
Eliza leaned back, the bench creaking beneath her. She closed her eyes, letting the snowflakes settle on her lashes while their voices drifted around her like background music.
Her phone buzzed.
Lucifer: Miss you.
Lucifer: I saw a snowflake that looked like a heart and thought of you.
Lucifer: Also I think a squirrel tried to fight me. Not important but I panicked and threw a peanut.
She smiled, lips tugging upward as her fingers wrapped around her phone. She could almost hear his voice in her head — dramatic, ridiculous, warm.
She took a deep breath, pretending for a second that he was sitting beside her again.
Later, the three of them found a food truck selling hot chocolate and sat near the portable heaters, cups clutched in cold hands.
Ryan groaned. "Four more days and it's a new year. Ugh. Then comes the final-year exam madness."
Ava sighed. "Can we not talk about that? Just for once?"
"Yeah," Ryan agreed. "Peace never lasts. Then we're grownups. Bills, resumes, college decisions…"
Eliza stared into her cup. Her chest felt tighter than before. She wasn't ready. Not for endings. Not for growing up. Not for everything to change.
"Anyway," Ryan said, nudging her. "What are you doing for New Year's?"
Ava shrugged. "Same as always — awkward family party, cousins I barely know, and my aunt asking if I've got a boyfriend yet."
Ryan laughed. "Sounds like a nightmare."
He turned to Eliza. "What about you?"
Eliza blinked, then looked down at her cup. "I don't know. Probably watching a movie with my family."
Ava tilted her head. "Is Lucifer coming back before New Year's?"
"I… don't know," Eliza whispered.
And she hated that she didn't. That little ache in her chest tightened all over again.
Eventually, the sky turned dusky blue, and the wind picked up. They walked together until they reached Eliza's house. She waved goodbye as Ryan and Ava continued down the street.
---
The walk back to Ava's place was unusually quiet.
The snow muffled everything — cars, voices, even their footsteps. Ava kept her hands deep in her pockets, walking beside Ryan in a rare silence. For once, he wasn't teasing. Wasn't making dumb jokes or poking at her just to get a reaction.
She cleared her throat. "So… what are you doing for New Year's?"
Ryan shrugged, eyes on the sky. "Don't know. Probably nothing. Maybe just… I don't know. I kinda wish I had someone to start the year with."
Ava glanced at him. His voice had sounded softer than usual like something unsaid had slipped between the words.
When she noticed he was already looking at her, she quickly turned away, cheeks stinging from more than just the cold.
They reached her front porch. Ava hesitated. She wanted to say something anything but the words didn't come.
Ryan offered a small, easy smile. "Alright then. I'm heading out. Take care, Ava."
He turned, stepping off the porch — but paused when she called after him.
"W-wait… um… thanks for the walk," she said, not meeting his eyes.
Ryan's grin softened, his breath misting in the cold. "Anytime."
Then he waved and disappeared into the snow.
Ava stood there a little longer, watching him go. Snowflakes settled on her lashes, and her heart thudded quietly in her chest.
She wasn't sure why she felt warm when the air was freezing but she did.
She turned, stepped inside, and gently shut the door behind her.
To be continued....