The next morning arrived like a curse.
After nearly getting confessed to death by Rika, chased by Female Sukuna, and glared into paralysis by a yandere Gojo, Yuu had only one goal: blend in. Be normal. Keep his head down and avoid eye contact with anyone capable of launching a city-level domain expansion for love.
Too bad the world had other plans.
"Stand straight, posture confident, but not cocky," he muttered, walking toward the homeroom building of Jujutsu High. "Smile... not seductive. Casual. Respectful."
> System Tip: Charisma [MAX] makes 'not seductive' impossible. Good luck.
He sighed.
Inside the building, a crowd of students buzzed with excitement.
"Did you hear? The new transfer's supposed to have limitless potential!"
"Some say he's even stronger than Gojo-sensei…"
"And hot. Like painfully attractive."
Yuu froze mid-step.
> Stealth Attempt: Failed Attention Acquired: 23 Students. Yandere Candidates: 7 Potential, 3 Confirmed.
He pushed through the doors—and immediately all conversation stopped.
Dozens of eyes turned to him.
The silence was short-lived.
"Oh. My. GOD. That's him!" a girl gasped.
A cursed crow overhead cawed twice and exploded.
Someone dropped their staff.
Even a plush panda in the corner turned to stare.
And right in front of the classroom stood Principal Masamichi Yaga, arms crossed, with a blank expression. A cursed puppet hovered behind him ominously.
"So, this is our anomaly."
Yuu bowed quickly. "Yuu Takahashi. Sorry for the fuss. I swear I'm low maintenance."
> Lie Detected. Penalty: None. Too Obvious.
Yaga grunted. "We'll see."
From behind Yuu, the familiar sound of high heels clicked against the wooden floor. He didn't have to turn around to know who it was.
"Yuu~" Nobara sang. "I saved you a seat."
Before he could reply, a chilly voice cut in.
"I already claimed the seat next to him." Shoko appeared behind Nobara, her calm face unreadable.
"Oh? You don't even teach this class," Nobara snapped.
"I'm auditing."
"Auditing what, his heartbeat?"
Before either could explode, the temperature in the room dropped a few degrees. Everyone instinctively stepped aside as a new arrival entered — her blindfold in place, but her cursed energy unmistakable.
Gojo Satoru. Female version. Smiling like she already owned the building.
"Well, well, if it isn't our golden boy," she said cheerfully, floating a little off the ground. "Did you sleep okay? Or did Rika keep you up with another love letter?"
Yuu's mouth opened, but no sound came out.
> System Update:
Rika Orimoto Status: Stalking from Dimension Fold.
Observation Detected.
Affinity: 99%.
"I… don't want to talk about it," he said weakly.
Gojo winked. "Don't worry. I've got a few tricks to keep her out… unless you want her in."
"I don't!"
"Too bad," said a new voice — familiar, ancient, laced with raw malice and seduction.
Sukuna. The female version again. Leaning in the doorway, sipping what looked like strawberry soda with a bloody straw. Her kimono was stained with cursed glyphs that pulsed with life.
"You're mine already, soul-bonded boy."
"Why is everyone in this school acting like I'm a cursed dating sim protagonist?!"
> System Notification: Current Genre: Reverse Yandere Harem Battle Arena School Rom-Com (with Death Traps)
Yuu facepalmed.
"Principal Yaga," he said, desperate for normalcy. "I'm ready to start class. Please. Save me."
The puppet behind Yaga spoke. "Transfer approved. Let's see if your power justifies the chaos."
"Sit," Yaga said.
Yuu obeyed instantly and dropped into the only unclaimed seat — only for Nobara and Shoko to sit on either side of him in perfect sync.
Gojo floated behind them.
Sukuna leaned against the windowsill.
Even Utahime peeked through the classroom window, her face suspiciously flushed.
> Current Threat Level: "Romantic Hellfire"
Yandere Tension: Escalating
Neutral Zones: None
Teacher Intervention: Impossible (They're part of it too)
Yuu slumped in his seat. "Just one quiet day. That's all I ask."
> A.S.H.A Activated. "Would you like to temporarily feign death?"
"…Tempting."
Just then, the door slid open again—and someone unfamiliar entered.
A tall woman in combat gear, with a commanding presence and silver-blonde hair tied back into a sharp ponytail.
Mei Mei.
Her piercing eyes scanned the room, and then locked on Yuu.
"Ah. So you're the new moneymaker."
Yuu blinked. "What?"
Mei Mei smirked. "With power like that, you'll attract attention. I'd like to offer you a deal. Partner with me, and I'll protect you from the rest. For a small commission."
> System Alert: Mei Mei Affection Rising
Interest: Transactional.
Possessive Tendencies: High.
Threat Rating: Dangerous if Rejected.
"Oh no," Yuu whispered.
All four other girls stood up at once.
"Back off," Nobara said.
"He doesn't need a bodyguard," Shoko added.
"I am his bodyguard," Gojo said cheerfully.
Sukuna grinned. "And I'm his soulmate."
Yuu slammed his head into the desk.
The class had just started.
And he was already in the middle of a four-way yandere war, with no end in sight.