Volume 6: The God King's Proposal (And the Universe Wants Me Married)
Chapter 4: My Goddess Harem Declared War (Over Breakfast)
Section 1: The Pancake Incident of Eternal Consequences
Kai woke up in a celestial bed... in six pairs of arms.
Nekorra was on his chest, tail twitching happily. Lilixara held his right arm in a death cuddle. Zerathra used his thigh as a pillow. Vel'Mirexa somehow spooned him protectively while muttering assassination coordinates. Elyssaria hovered beside them like a morally conflicted drone.
And Liora?
She was already in the kitchen, humming.
Kai groaned. "Please tell me today isn't another marriage trial."
Yui, glitching: > [GOOD MORNING. YES. ALSO, A DIVINE HAREM WAR STARTS IN 14 MINUTES. ENJOY PANCAKES.]
Kai: "What?"
> [14:00... 13:59...]
He blinked. Smoke rose from the kitchen.
Lilixara opened one eye. "She's cooking? That's an illegal seduction technique under Section 18."
Nekorra hissed. "She's trying to claim him through breakfast dominance!"
Zerathra: "The last time someone did that, a universe collapsed."
Kai: "Guys. GUYS. Can't we just... eat in peace?"
Vel'Mirexa drew a glowing fork. "It's too late for peace."
Section 2: Operation: Flirtstorm Protocol
Liora placed a stack of pancakes on the table, infused with divine honey and love-infused berries. The aroma alone made the table levitate.
Lilixara countered with a summoning spell: a plate of golden eggs laid by phoenixes.
Zerathra conjured black pepper-bacon from an infernal dimension. Nekorra presented tuna mochi with lust aura.
Elyssaria, blushing: "I made... toast."
Yui hovered nervously.
> [WARNING: LOVE CONFLICT ENERGY RISING. TABLE MAY DETONATE.]
Kai sat down, sweating.
"This... this is how wars start."
Liora placed a hand over his. "Eat mine first, love."
Lilixara's aura flared. "Don't touch him with your forbidden memory hands."
Vel'Mirexa activated stealth mode, attempting to inject poison-cutlery data into Liora's plate. Nekorra threw fish shurikens. Zerathra hacked the flavor matrix.
It all exploded.
Literally.
Yui: > [PREDICTABLE OUTCOME ACHIEVED.]
Section 3: Bride Treaty of Pillow Heights
Kai was done.
He stood up on the smoking dining table.
"STOP. I am not a breakfast trophy. You want to fight? FINE. But at least do it with romance, not food sabotage."
Yui materialized an official-looking scroll.
> [ACTIVATING: HAREM DIPLOMATIC TRIAL #107 — THE PILLOW HEIGHTS SUMMIT. LOCATION: LOVERS' CLOUD 9 SPA. DURATION: 24 HOURS. GOAL: SEDUCE FAIRLY OR FORFEIT.]
All goddesses stared.
Zerathra: "A cuddle-trial summit?"
Lilixara: "Only the strongest survive those."
Vel'Mirexa: "I'll kill them... gently."
Elyssaria: "...I packed my comfy socks."
Kai groaned again.
> [TRANSPORTING TO SPA LOCATION. GOOD LUCK, PROTAGONIST.]
Section 4: The Lovers' Cloud 9 Spa Massacre
Imagine the world's most luxurious hot spring meets divine love dojo.
Baths with infinity water. Cuddle pits with ambient starlight. Rose-scented massage realms.
And only one Kai.
Liora wore a silk wrap that defied the laws of elegance.
Lilixara arrived in sheer firelight threads.
Zerathra rolled in, armed with flirt grenades.
Nekorra pounced into his lap. "My turn for full-body affection!"
Vel'Mirexa declared martial hugging.
Elyssaria trembled in a towel too big for her. "I brought healing oils."
Yui beeped:
> [SCORE SYSTEM ONLINE. CURRENT LEADER: Liora.]
What followed wasn't a battle. It was a seductive Olympics. Everyone pulled their most devastating techniques:
Whispered Devotion Jutsu
Thigh Embrace of Heaven
Snuggle Reversal Drive
Eyeglint of Eternal Yearning
Kai barely survived.
Section 5: Kai's Meltdown (Again)
At midnight, he lay buried in warm goddess bodies, eyes blank.
Yui hovered nervously.
> [HEART RATE: 999BPM. RECALIBRATING LOVE LIMITS.]
Liora curled against his neck. "Do you regret remembering me?"
Kai whispered. "I regret not remembering you sooner."
Zerathra mumbled. "Okay, that was hot."
Lilixara groaned. "Fine. She can stay. Temporarily."
Nekorra: "Under surveillance."
Vel'Mirexa: "Under threat."
Yui beeped.
> [HAREM PEACE TREATY SIGNED. NEXT TRIAL UNLOCKED: 'THE UNIVERSE'S HOTTEST DOUBLE DATE.']
Kai passed out.
To be continued...