I looked back at him who was so casually holding a conversation as if it was normal to hold on to me like this. I looked up to find some lurking eyes. What if they thought something was happening between us. I had to act. I pulled with a little bit of force and kept walking. I didn't look back. In truth I was flustered, how would anyone react to a guy suddenly holding on to their hand. I pulled my hand up to my face and constantly tried to remember the feeling of our hands touching. I thought about those eyes, those magic colored eyes. What is it about him. I felt so flustered that I was about to be out the hall but felt a pull back. I looked back to find him, Ratuk looking at me with such yearning eyes. It made me tingle.
"Let's dance Aza." He said.
And just like that he whisked me away back onto the floor. He possessively held me tight to his body. This prince was crazy, there was no sense of care of his surroundings. His hand in mine felt warm and almost matched my body temperature instantly, or I matched his. As we swung in sync, I couldn't help but enjoy the moment. Did I really forget this guy? I looked up to those eyes and how locked they were on me, as if to always remind me he was paying attention. He kept a cracked smile with me and never looked away. Unlike me who was shied away from that obvious look. I was starting to feel the feeling in my chest that I didn't want this to end, I wanted to always have him in my line of sight, to see what he would do next. But why did I feel this way? It's not like I have known him for long. Well supposedly. The difficult part was I found Ombte interesting too, just not the same feeling. What do I do? I know my father would appreciate both of them.
"What are you so distracted by while I stand in front of you?" Ratuk asked, bringing back to our dance.
"Ah, just how good a dancer you are." I found the words to say.
"I'm good at more than this." He said.
"Really? Do tell." I say in a sarcastic way.
"Hmm, are you inspecting me Aza?" He says getting closer.
" Just would like to know who one of my suitors are." I said looking away.
"Aza, would you like to take a walk in the morning, along that garden you love." He said.
I froze for a moment and looked up at him.
"Maybe if I'm up." I said stopping our dance and trying to walk away.
He locked his grip around my waist.
"You are going to drive me crazy." He said.
Should I test these feelings? See where it will take me? I mean my father did say I can choose, so I have time to do so, Why shouldn't I?
"I can't wait." I said with a teasing look.
He dropped his face down with his hair serving as a curtain.
"Aza…..You have no Idea." He said.
With his tight grip I started to feel hot. He made eye contact back with me and his eyes were cut sharp looking at me as if there were bad thoughts behind those eyes.
"Good bye." I said to him.
He let me go, which I was kind of disappointed. I turned away and walked away.
"We will now have final game of the night. Aza?" My father wavered to me.
I walked over to him. I was a little worried.
"For tonight's game, we will have our guest suitors who will be blind fold, while the chosen women will dance with you, Aza included. The goal is to see if you can notice which one is the princess. "
What a game my father has up his sleeve. He is showing interest, I guess that one thing. I got a little shy. I looked over to Ratuk who was looking at my father with an earnest look. This guy. When all the men were blind folded they all stood in a line and waiting.
"Let the final game begin!" My father said.
The girls began to dance. I watched and waited. I was going to jump in every time it was time to switch out partners. As the music played the dancing started. I watched Ratuk and how he danced with his partner. He didn't squeeze her. I stepped in first for Ombte. We danced stiffly as if he was trying to use his other senses. He rubbed my hand while together, It felt a little weird. The dance was too stop once the man figured it out. Next, I moved to Shahadi. He again was a bad dancer and he seemed to be more focused on balanced than actually on his partner. I then lastly moved to Ratuk who after a few seconds squeezed me tight. This wasn't fair he was the last guy to dance with me. Of course he would know what dancing with me would be like. Strangely he didn't give away that it was me but kept dancing. As it was time for me to restart the dance, Ratuk pulled me back to him.
"It was a pleasure dancing with you Aza." He said. Everyone stopped and the other two removed their shawls.
"How did you know?" I asked.
"A man does not forget the way his woman feels in his hands." He answered.
My father seemed interested.
"Ratuk, please enjoy a walk with the princess before she goes in for the night, congratulations, everyone else let's have more cheers before sleep."
My father said with excitement. All I could think about was him. He knew me by the squeeze of my waist, how? As we walked through the back garden, Of course soldiers were behind us. As we walked we talked about our childhood and how we use to actually play with each other a lot. We even talked about the differences in our homes. It was refreshing to talk to someone that wasn't apart of this kingdom but still royally with similar expected duties. He picked me a flower and handed it to me.
"You use to like putting these in your hair." He said.
"How is it that you know so much about me?" I asked.
"You were worth observing." He said with a smirk.
"I happy to have met you." I said.
"Oh yeah, now I just need to convince you I'm the best man for you." He said looking up to the sky.
"How are you sure you're not?" I asked playfully.
He looked at me quickly. I too had a smile that had grown mischievously on my face. He turned back with his hands in his palm.
"Aza, you're making it hard for me. " He said.
We found a shade and decided to rest.
"Why do you want to marry me?" I asked.
"Do you believe in love?" He asked me.
"Love? I don't know I never focused on it, or learned about it for that matter. My parents tell each other and my siblings and I they love us, so I guess I always looked at it as a family exchange." He bursted into laughter.
I pouted towards him and he seemed to not care.
"What's so funny about that." I said in a dull tone.
"It's just that you have such a small mind, Love is so much more complex than that." He said.
"How so?" He stopped laughing and actually gave a thoughtful look.
"Well, it's different for everyone. No one knows when it comes, and you can't stop it either." He said looking at the stars.
"How is it for you?" I asked out of curiosity.
"Me? Well I can't sleep, too deep in thought to eat, my brain constantly awake with many thoughts, you start to find yourself consumed by a presence that is yet to establish itself. I mean your body shoots these shivers all over you when you touch-" He stopped after looking at me.
I on the other end was fascinated by this idea of love. I never considered it was one I would have a chance to experience. It makes me believe my world was small just as Ratuk said. What If I could love? Would my outlook on life change? Would I find something else worth searching for.
"What?" I asked.
"You look so serious." He said.
"Well, I want to try and conquer this love feeling." I said.
"Well love is something you find in your heart." He said pointing a finger to my chest.
"My heart?" I said thinking more.
My mother always told me my heart was always responsible for those excitements I would feel, or even when I was hurt, she said my heart was trying to express its self since it is buried inside.
"Also love only works for the right person." He said putting his finger in the air. It reminded me of Hotep when she would teach us things.
"Well, who would be a good person?" I asked.
Maybe Ombte would be an easy person to try on, he was calm, centered, and even solid. Surely it would be easy to love him, That way I could skip all the sleepless nights and hungry strides.
"For you....no one." He said in a deep tone.
"What?! Your saying I'm going to be alone all my life?" I said with a doomed face.
"What I'm saying is there's no one I would let take you from me." He said moving close to me.
His knee brushed passed mine creating a build up feeling that I was not use to feeling. The feeling shot into my legs and hit lowly into my private area. What was that feeling. His olive skin reminded me of summer. And when he touched me it was just as warm. We stared at each other for a little while. Slowly I felt compelled to move my face near his. Under less than seconds he grabbed my waist sliding me closer to him and planted a kiss on my lips. I was frozen in shock. Was this normal? Well no I know it wasn't, I was afraid of if anyone saw, if things would get worse. The longer he kissed me the longer I wanted to stay in his grip. Whatever is happening, is mixing a pot of stirred emotions as well as fear.