Outside the venue, Victoria breathed the cool winter air in and out, her breath forming visible clouds before disappearing into the night. The temperature was sharp against her skin, but it felt cleansing after the suffocating atmosphere inside. She needed this moment, this space to process the confrontation with Chad and the overwhelming emotions that had been building all evening.
As she stood there trying to center herself, she heard the sound of approaching footsteps behind her. Victoria turned, expecting to see Chad following her out, ready to tell him off once and for all. But to her complete surprise, it was James.
Her face brightened up instantly, hope blooming in her chest like a flower reaching for sunlight. He was alone, no sign of Gaia anywhere, and he seemed to be heading directly toward her. Her heart pounded with sudden anticipation as she looked at him expectantly, wondering if perhaps fate had finally decided to give them a moment together.
But James did see her. His eyes met hers briefly, recognition flickering across his features, and then he deliberately sidestepped and walked past her as if she were nothing more than a stranger on the street.
Victoria felt cold, not from the winter sir but from the utterly indifferent treatment. The dismissal cut through her like a blade, sharp and precise and devastating. It felt wrong in every possible way, and she was suddenly reminded of their last encounter, the cold, mechanical way he had used her body to purge his anger. This wasn't what she had wanted from that night, wasn't what she had hoped would come from her sacrifice.
How did they end up like this? How had she gotten to this point in her life where the man she loved more than breathing couldn't even acknowledge her existence? The thought was suffocating, pressing down on her chest until she could barely draw breath.
She hated it. Hated how everything seemed to be spiraling further and further away from anything resembling happiness or peace. She wanted sweet James back, wanted to see the bright light that used to shine in his eyes when he looked at her. Even if she wouldn't be the one to put that light there anymore, it would be better than this cold emptiness that had taken its place.
"You know there's no reason for you to walk off like you didn't see me," Victoria said aloud, her voice carrying clearly in the crisp night air.
James halted mid-step, his shoulders tensing slightly, but he didn't turn around.
Victoria folded her arms against the cold and walked over to stand directly in front of him, forcing him to face her whether he wanted to or not. Seeing him up close again after so many weeks apart, she smiled so sweetly it made her own heart ache. She shook her head slightly, as if marveling at something only she could see.
Looking at him now, like really looking at the familiar planes of his face, the way his dark hair caught the streetlight, the guarded expression in his eyes, Victoria realized with startling clarity that no matter how much she loved him, he would never be hers again. The knowledge hit her like a physical blow, but strangely, it also brought a kind of terrible peace.
"Don't be that person, James," she said softly. "It isn't you. And I don't want to be the reason for such a change."
She looked down and bit her lips, clenching her hands at her sides to provide strength to herself for what she needed to say. When she looked up again, her eyes were clear and determined.
"No worries. I'm not here to beg, if that's what you think." Her voice was steady, though it cost her everything to keep it that way. "Actually, I wanted you to know that I have accepted that as much as I want us to be together, the past lives in the past, and the memories that come along with it should be thought of as happy ones and treasured, not be ridden with pain."
She stopped and breathed in deeply, gathering her courage, then continued while looking him straight in the eyes. James stood completely still, listening to every word with an expressionless face that gave away nothing of his thoughts. His bewitching eyes never strayed from hers, but they might as well have been looking at a stranger for all the emotion they showed.
"I love you, James. I love you so much!" The words burst out of her with passionate intensity. "God, I should have confessed it sooner and said it a million times. I really should have. Love... the emotion was foreign to me, and I struggled to understand it. I was so afraid of you leaving me. And I know we both know that I am not easy. I know I'm not."
She let out a short, broken laugh that held no humor whatsoever. "You're the best thing that ever happened to me. And you know what? I can't... I don't want to live without you."
James remained perfectly still, his silence more deafening than any words could have been. His face was a mask of control, giving Victoria no indication of what he might be thinking or feeling. It was like pouring her soul out to a beautiful statue, one that watched her with familiar eyes but offered no warmth, no response, no sign that her words were reaching him at all.
The lack of reaction should have discouraged her, but instead it somehow gave her the strength to continue. If this was going to be her last chance to say these things, she was going to say them all.
"For the longest time, I thought I needed to fight for my love, that I shouldn't give up. But now I realize that love should bring peace, not toxicity. It should feel warm, like home, not this constant battle between us." Victoria's voice grew softer, more reflective. "Now I realize that love alone isn't enough to make us work."