"You think I don't know how a broken trust feels like shit?" Victoria's voice was thick with emotion, each word trembling with pain. "I've been through it, me and Elena. And I regret my actions every day I wake up in your arms. I hurt you so badly, and yes, I am the biggest dipshit in the world, but..." She sniffed, wiping at her nose with the back of her hand like a child. "I've learned my lesson. I'm trying my utmost best to make up for what I have done, but James, you don't even give me room to work something out, and you haven't released your hold on the anger you have toward me."
Her voice was rising now, passion and desperation bleeding through every word. "Scream, yell, curse at me, do something to unleash your anger. I will understand. I can take it. I deserve it. The honest truth is you are too good for me, too kind, and I messed up the greatest thing that could ever come into my life."
Victoria's voice cracked on the last words, and she pressed a hand to her mouth as if trying to hold back a sob. "And I'm sorry for still wanting you, for still loving you. I can't control these deep rooted feelings. They consume me every second of every day. I love you. I love you so much it physically hurts. Please believe me."
After the long rant, Victoria broke down completely, tears streaming down her face as sobs shook her shoulders. She wrapped her arms around herself, rocking slightly as the weight of her emotion overwhelmed her completely.
James felt his lips tremble as the familiar sting of incoming tears threatened to overwhelm him. Her words hit him like bullets, each one finding its mark and tearing open wounds he thought had started to heal. The raw pain in her voice, the genuine remorse, the desperate love, it all crashed over him like a wave, threatening to drag him under.
He forced himself to cool his emotions and looked away, his jaw clenched so tight it ached. He refused to be swayed by her tears, no matter how genuine they seemed. His chest hurt so much, the pain was almost physical, like someone was squeezing his heart in a vise. Victoria was right about his need to vent his grievances, to let out all the poison that had been building inside him. But the thought of losing his temper and going off on her seemed much worse than simply walking away after a calm discussion and deciding to end things peacefully.
He had been doing fine before she returned, managing so well, rebuilding his life piece by piece. Just why did she have to show up and ruin everything once more? Why couldn't she just leave him in peace?
James gritted his teeth, overcome by a surge of anger so intense it made his vision blur. The fury was mixed with grief, with longing, with a hundred other emotions he couldn't name. His hands clenched into fists as he asked, his voice rough with barely controlled emotion, "Is that your wish? For me to vent my anger on you?"
Victoria wiped her tears with shaking hands and slowly nodded her head, her voice barely above a whisper. "Yes. Let go of your pain and put it on me. Let me ease your burden, if just a little. I can handle whatever you need to give me."
James wanted to confirm she wasn't playing games with her words, that this wasn't another manipulation disguised as sacrifice. His voice was hoarse when he spoke. "You're sure about this?"
Victoria moved closer to him on the bed, her movements careful and deliberate. Then suddenly she planted a brief kiss on his lips, her touch gentle but desperate. "I want you to let it all out like this," she whispered against his mouth, her voice husky with unmistakable invitation, and kissed him again before he could react, this time deeper, more purposeful, her body language making her intentions crystal clear.
James understood her insinuation immediately, the sexual undertone in her words and the way she pressed against him leaving no room for misinterpretation. The realization that she was trying to seduce him, that she thought she could manipulate him through physical intimacy even now, sent his anger into overdrive.
He pushed her away with more force than before, his whole body trembling with rage and unwanted arousal. His voice was raw and furious as he warned for what felt like the hundredth time, "Don't kiss me." The fact that his body had responded to her touch only made him angrier, disgusted with himself for being so weak.
He stared at her for a long moment, his chest heaving as he fought for control. When he spoke again, his voice was cold and final, each word delivered like a death sentence. "If I fulfill this wish of yours, then you voluntarily leave my life if I don't change my mind about you afterward."
Victoria felt her heart stop at his words. She clenched her fists so tight her nails dug crescents into her palms, the physical pain a welcome distraction from the terror clawing at her chest. She knew the risks involved in agreeing with him, knew that this could be signing her own exile from the only happiness she had ever known. But this was the only way she could get him to start viewing her in a different light, the only chance she had to help him discharge all his negative feelings toward her and maybe, just maybe, find something worth saving underneath.
She eventually nodded in agreement, though the motion felt like signing her own death warrant.
James stared back and nodded too, something dark and determined settling in his features. Then he walked toward the bathroom, his movements sharp and purposeful. Before disappearing inside, he paused at the threshold, his back to her as he spoke without turning around.
"Get ready."