Monday morning arrived with the weight of inevitability, dragging James from restless sleep into the harsh reality of anticipation. He'd spent the weekend replaying Victoria's promise over and over…Consider this my first offering…until the words had worn grooves in his consciousness. Now, as he stood before his bathroom mirror adjusting the midnight blue tie she'd sent, James felt the full magnitude of what he'd gotten himself into.
The silk felt different against his throat from his usual ties, heavier, more luxurious, like wearing someone else's expectations. His reflection stared back at him with eyes that looked slightly wild, pupils dilated with a combination of excitement and terror that made him look younger than his twenty-six almost twenty-seven years.
She's going to see me wearing it, he thought, his fingers fumbling slightly with the knot. She's going to know I accepted her offering.
The thought sent heat coursing through his system, making his hands shake as he tried to get the tie positioned correctly. Three attempts later, he finally managed something that looked presentable, though his neck felt constricted by more than just the fabric.
James arrived at the office forty-five minutes early, hoping to settle into his routine before Victoria arrived and turned his world upside down again. The building was still relatively quiet, with only the earliest employees beginning to trickle in for the day. He made his way to his office on autopilot, his mind consumed with speculation about what Victoria might do next.
Once inside his office, James hung his suit jacket on the back of his chair and rolled up his sleeves, settling into his usual Monday morning ritual of reviewing weekend emails and preparing for the week ahead. The familiar routine should have been comforting, but instead he felt like he was playing a role pretending to be the composed professional James Mitchell while internally counting down to Victoria's inevitable appearance.
Every footstep in the hallway made his pulse spike. Every time someone passed his office door, James found himself looking up expectantly, his body tense with anticipation that was becoming almost unbearable. The silk tie felt like a brand against his throat, a constant reminder of Victoria's promise and his own inexperience with whatever game they were now playing.
He was deep in his third attempt to read the same email when Marcus from creative appeared in his doorway, looking like he had been hit by a truck.
"James, man, I need to talk to someone," Marcus said without preamble, his usual easy confidence replaced by something raw and desperate. "Can I come in?"
James looked up from his computer, immediately registering the devastation written across Marcus's features. The normally put-together creative director looked like he hadn't slept in days, his hair disheveled, his shirt wrinkled, dark circles under his eyes that spoke of emotional exhaustion.
"Of course," James said, gesturing to one of the chairs across from his desk. "What's going on?"
Marcus slumped into the chair like a puppet with cut strings, running his hands through his hair in a gesture that somehow made the mess even worse. "Susan broke up with me."
The name hit James with recognition. Susan, Marcus's girlfriend of four years, the woman he'd talked about with the kind of casual certainty that came from long-term commitment. James had always envied that confidence, the way Marcus spoke about his relationship like it was a permanent fixture in his life.
"I'm sorry," James said, meaning it. "What happened?"
"Same thing that's been building for months," Marcus said, his voice hollow with defeat. "She says I'm not... God, this is embarrassing. She says I'm not doing it for her anymore. In bed, I mean. Says I've gotten lazy, predictable. That she feels like she's with a roommate instead of a boyfriend."
James felt heat rise in his cheeks at the intimate revelation, his inexperience with relationships making him feel completely out of his depth. He had no frame of reference for these kinds of problems, no wisdom to offer someone who was clearly in pain over issues he had never even encountered.
"That must be really difficult to hear," James managed, hoping he sounded more supportive than he felt.
"Four years, man," Marcus continued, seeming to need to talk more than he needed advice. "Four years of thinking we were solid, that we were building toward something permanent. And apparently she's been faking it for months, just waiting for me to figure out what was wrong."
The raw pain in Marcus's voice made James's chest tighten with sympathy, even as his mind reeled with the foreign concepts being discussed. Relationship dynamics, sexual satisfaction, the complicated negotiations that apparently happened between couples, it all sounded like a language he'd never learned to speak.
"Did she... did she give you any specifics about what she wanted?" James asked carefully, trying to be helpful despite his complete discomfort with the topic.
Marcus laughed bitterly. "Oh, she was very specific. Said I used to be adventurous, used to make her feel desired instead of just going through the motions. Said I'd stopped paying attention to what she needed, stopped trying to learn what made her feel good. Man, her porn search is unattainable. I can't replicate those actors."
Each word felt like a personal indictment to James. He'd never had to navigate these complexities, had never been responsible for another person's satisfaction or happiness in such fundamental ways.
"Maybe..." James began, then stopped, realizing he had no idea how to finish the sentence. Maybe what? Maybe try harder? Maybe communicate better? He was dispensing advice about things he'd never done, offering solutions to problems he couldn't even fully comprehend.
"You're lucky, you know," Marcus said suddenly, looking at James with something that might have been envy. "You're smart to stay single, to avoid all this messy relationship bullshit. At least when you're alone, you can't disappoint anyone."
The irony of the statement wasn't lost on James, who was sitting there wearing Victoria Sharp's tie while struggling to offer relationship advice to someone far more experienced than he was. But Marcus's assumption that he was single by choice rather than circumstance stung more than James expected.