POV - Kyas
We lay there in our room, Elias and me. On our beds, in the dark, staring at the ceiling, our hands connected by hooked forefingers between the beds, to maintain the connection. Neither of us sleeping. Emotionally numb and just being here, together. Breathing. Something had changed in our bond, but I couldn't place what it was.
I heard the moaning start on the other side of the wall, like last night. They had begun. The nightmares. I turned my head and looked at Elias. It was time to go.
I got out of bed, but Elias grabbed my hand. "You promised."
I nodded. "I promised." I meant it.
I hugged him tight. My brother.
I slipped out of our room and quickly into Papa's.
He was thrashing on his bed, fighting whatever unkown demon the sheets had become.
"Called for you... you never came back... so sorry, I lost you... my fault." He repeated, the same as the last time.
"Called for you... Kyas!" He screamed.
I moved. I touched him. "I'm here, Papa!"
He sat bolt upright, searching for me. "Kyas?"
I touched his hand. "Here, Papa. I'm here."
He pulled me into a hug. I tried not to, but tonight, things were different. Tonight I knew that he really WAS my Papa, and that I couldn't have him. Because I promised. So I stole the moment, and hugged him back.
He leaned away. "I'm so sorry, Kyas, I tried so hard to find you."
I smiled at him. "But you did find me, Papa. Here I am. I am home."
He visibly relaxed, and I realized that it was actually the truth. Papa had brought us home, Chaos and me, the day he brought Blaze home. One day, I'll tell him.
"Kyas," he asked, "where did you go? Why did you leave Papa?"
Some truth. "I went far away. I didn't want to go." I said.
"How are you here?" His next question. "How can I touch you?"
Some rules. "The Moon Goddess knows the witch kept me, and now I'm free. She lets me see you on the full moon, but only then. I need the moonlight to stay."
"Kyas, are you real?" He whispered. "Why do you look like Elias now, when you left at three?"
Some lies. "No, Papa, I'm not real." True. "It's still a dream." Lie. "I look like Elias because...um...we are brothers, he's my twin. I should look like him." Both.
He hugged me again, and pulled me all the way up on his bed. I suggled close, soaking him up. A father. I had never had one, but had been facinated by the interactions he had with Elias. The good ones anyway.
"Can you stay with Papa, Kyas?" He asked eagerly.
I smiled at him, sweet and innocent. "Of course I can. Until the moonlight dies."
"Papa?" I asked him. "What would you do...if I were real? If I really sat with you on your bed right now?"
"Well... I would... probably tickle you." He said.
Tickle?? What's this?
"Does it hurt?" I asked, curious.
"Well, no. It feels like... this." He reached over wiggled his finger in my armpit.
It made me giggle. He tickled my other armpit, and I giggled again. The game began, he had me rolling in minutes, full throated laughing. Finally, he pulled me up, ending the game, saying we could wake the house.
He yawned, and leaned back and I snuggled against him. I felt safe, protected, small. Loved? All new things for me. I never had a Papa, but now this one was mine. Until the moonlight faded.
"Papa?" I asked, in a small voice I had never used before.
"Yes, son?" He said.
"Tell me a story? From when I was small? Before I couldn't come home?" I asked.
His eyes looked up to the ceiling, but saw only memories there. "Well, there was this one time, when Elias..." he began.
My ear was against his chest, his voice rumbling as he spoke. I could listen to this forever. I could hear his heartbeat, the sound he made when he breathed. His smell. The way he shook my whole head when he chuckled.
He painted a world with his words. One I had never known. Where there was a Mama, a Papa, a set of twins, and I got to be one of them...sometimes. Where it was safe to play, and a pack to surround you, and help you if you fell down or cried. Where there was so much to eat that you could throw it, hit Papa in the eye, and he wouldn't beat you for wasting it. Make believe was fun. I was never that. The world he painted wasn't real, Neither was I.
Soon, Chaos told me the moon was setting, and time was short. I moved to sit up, I didn't even notice when his story had turned to snores.
"Papa." I shook him. "Papa, wake up, have to go soon, and I need to ask you some things."
"Go?" He woke up. "No, Kyas, don't leave Papa."
"I don't want to, but the Moon Goddess says I must." I lied. "Can you do something for me?"
"Anything! I love you, son." He said. He probably believes that, but it's a lie. Love is for somebodies, and I'm nobody.
That actually broke my heart a bit... for Elias. In the time I had been here, two full moons, I had never heard him say those words to my brother.
"Chaos, needs an apple every morning, and...I need something else. Something important." I said, very seriously
"I need you to...love Elias. Like you love me." I asked.
"But...I do love Elias, just not the same." He said.
"Make it the same Papa. Show him. Because he doesn't know." I said, because I know what his pain feels like. The bond tells me. "Can you do that, Papa?"
"Of course, son." He said.
I stepped back from the bed. "I have to go, Papa."
"Kyas, stay with me, please?" He begged.
"Someday," I said, tears threatening to spill over. "Wait for me, Papa?"
"Always." He said.
I stepped out of sight just as the binding pulled me back. I cried behind my barrier as Chaos jumped up and took my place.
It hurt, to have him so close, but not be able to reach him. And Elias had done that for seven years. So I would do it for a while. Because I promised.