Probably because of what happened between us that night, I decided to avoid Lukas for a while. But living under the same roof, no matter how much I tried to keep my distance, it was impossible to completely ignore each other. It felt like the walls between us were thin, and every so often, I deliberately left him some private space and time, hoping to create a boundary I could hold onto.
One day, while I was at work, I overheard my coworkers gossiping about our boss' private affairs, specifically about how he was taking care of his mistress because she was pregnant. The words hit me like a shock, and an inexplicable panic seized me. Even though it had only been two months since Lukas and I had been intimate, I realized I had forgotten to take my contraceptive pills. The fear of potentially being pregnant overwhelmed me.
My heart pounding, I decided to hide the truth from Lukas and took immediate action. After work, I went to the hospital for a physical examination, my mind racing with fear and uncertainty about what might happen next.
I arrived at the hospital, and the place was bustling with activity. The fluorescent lights flickered overhead, and the corridors buzzed with the quiet hum of conversations and footsteps. It was past eight o'clock in the evening when I finally finished my examination. Thanks to modern technology, the results would be ready in less than an hour, but I was too anxious to wait that long. I chose to stay and wait, pacing back and forth in the hallway, feeling restless and distracted. My mind was elsewhere, clouded with worry and uncertainty, so much so that I wasn't paying attention to my surroundings.
Suddenly, I heard a voice call my name softly. "Stella?"
The sound was so familiar that it felt like I was in a dream. My body froze for a moment, then almost instinctively, I wanted to run to him, to hug him tightly. "Jake..." I whispered, my voice trembling.
I hadn't expected to see him here, especially under such circumstances. My mind was thrown into disarray, unprepared for this encounter. When I looked at him, I felt my thoughts scatter, leaving me momentarily blank.
Jake took a cautious step toward me, his face filled with concern. "Your—" he started to say, reaching out as if to touch my hand, but then hesitated, remembering last time when he had accidentally slapped my hands away. His expression softened, and he stopped mid-sentence, unsure.
We stood there, a few steps apart, the air thick with unspoken words. Neither of us moved closer, maintaining a tense, awkward distance as we looked at each other, caught in a moment of silent understanding and unresolved feelings.
"Your complexion isn't good, are you not feeling well?" Jake asked softly, his voice tinged with concern. He lowered his head slightly, glancing at the medical consultation form I had in my hand—a habitual action he often took when he was worried or trying to understand a situation.
I was caught off guard by his attentive gesture. In my nervousness, I hurriedly tried to hide the paper from his view, but in my haste, it slipped from my grasp and fluttered to the floor at his feet.
He bent down smoothly to pick it up, and as he glanced at the paper, his eyes widened slightly when he saw the word "Obstetrics" printed clearly on the form. His face stiffened, and he looked at me, stunned. There was a flicker of something—surprise, hurt, confusion—before he managed to force a small, strained smile. "Congratulations," he said bluntly, his voice lacking its usual warmth.
"No, that's not what..." I wanted to clarify, to explain, but the words caught in my throat. I saw the hurt flash across his face—a look that pierced me deeply—and I knew that any explanation I offered might be futile. The bitter ache in my chest grew stronger, and I could feel tears teetering at the edge of my eyes.
In the end, I managed a very faint smile, one that felt more like a grimace than genuine happiness. It probably looked like I was on the verge of crying, and perhaps I was.
Jake noticed the tears welling in my eyes, and I could see the hesitation in his gaze. Instead of reaching out or offering the comfort he usually did, he simply stood there, as if understanding that he didn't have the right to comfort me now. His silence was heavy, filled with unspoken regret and restraint.
After a moment, Jake spoke softly, almost detached, as he turned his back to me. "Goodbye now."
I watched him walk away, my heart tightening at the sight. "Goodbye..." I whispered, my voice barely audible, as I stared at his retreating figure. He had always been the one to come after me, to chase away my fears. Seeing him leave like this, without a word or a hug, deepened the ache inside me. It felt like the end of something fragile and precious.
Lost in a daze, I barely registered the nurse at the front desk calling my number repeatedly. Her voice was insistent, but I was so absorbed in my thoughts that I didn't hear her at first. It was only when someone next to me gently nudged my shoulder and pointed to the number on the screen that I finally snapped back to reality. My senses returned, and I realized it was my turn.
The results were finally in, and I saw the words clearly—"Not Pregnant." For most, this might have been a relief, a weight lifted from their shoulders. But for me, an overwhelming heaviness settled deeper into my chest.
I wondered if I should call Jake, if I could find the words to explain everything, to share the truth behind those results. But even as the thought crossed my mind, I hesitated. What would I say? How would he respond? Would it change anything? Or would it only deepen the distance between us?
In that moment, a stark realization dawned—no matter what I said or did, we could never go back to how things once were. The past was a fragile memory, shattered beyond repair. The encounter with Jake had solidified my decision. I knew now that I had to move forward, even if my heart was still trembling from the weight of it all.
As I stepped through the doorway, a flicker of surprise crossed my face. Lukas, who usually returned home late after long hours at work, was already here—early today. Not only that, but there was a warm aroma lingering in the air, and I noticed the carefully arranged dinner on the table, which I had bought earlier. It was now ten o'clock in the evening, a clear sign that he had been waiting patiently for me all this time.
A sudden wave of self-awareness washed over me. I became acutely conscious of my scent—something faint and unfamiliar that I couldn't quite place. Although Jake and I hadn't had contact recently, I wondered if Lukas could detect Jake's scent lingering on me. The thought made my stomach tighten with anxiety.
Lukas looked up from where he sat, his expression serious yet gentle. "Where have you been?" he asked, his voice low but steady.
I hesitated, caught between the truth and the silence that had been growing between us. After a long, strained pause, I finally found the words. "I went to the hospital."
Lukas' brow furrowed slightly as he looked at me with concern. "Are you not feeling well?" he asked softly.
"Hmm," I hummed in response, trying to keep my voice steady, even as my mind raced with unspoken thoughts.
He didn't press further about the reason for my trip to the hospital. There was no anger or frustration in his tone for returning home late—just quiet, gentle worry. "Is there anything wrong with your body?" he inquired, his eyes searching mine.
"No," I replied simply, though inside I felt a tangle of emotions I couldn't quite articulate.
"Just make sure to pay attention to your health," he added softly, offering a subtle smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.
I nodded in response.
Lukas looked at me with a mixture of tenderness and patience, then let out a slow, resigned sigh. "You know you don't have to be so afraid of me," he said softly.
I remained silent, unsure of what to say or how to respond.
He continued, his voice gentle but earnest. "If you don't want children, then I won't force you." His words hung in the air, heavy with meaning.
I understood the implication behind his words but I was caught off guard by what he said. "You know that I don't...?" I trailed off, unable to fully voice my feelings or doubts. It was difficult to admit that I didn't want to get pregnant, even to myself.
Living with Lukas for some time had built a foundation of trust, yet there was always an unexplainable strangeness that lingered beneath the surface. The idea of not having sex or children against his own instinct—especially since he was an Alpha—felt like a breach of unspoken expectations. Lukas never broke his promises easily, and his words now carried a weight that made me wonder about the boundaries we were navigating.
Lukas sensed no particular urgency in Stella's silence; to him, it seemed like a natural reaction from her. He believed that by expressing his feelings openly, he had eased some of the unspoken tension between them. Without further words, he decided it was time to leave the dining room.
"I'm going to sleep," he said softly, his tone calm but decisive. Without waiting for a response, he turned and moved to exit the room, leaving the door slightly ajar behind him.
I remained there, standing motionless, my mind a whirl of thoughts and emotions.