I was numb.
Numb to the cold water he'd wiped across my cheeks.
Numb to the damp cloth smoothing away the blood on my skin.
Numb to the sound of my own heart beating too fast, too loud, too much.
Kael hadn't spoken for a while. Not since he said my name.
"Auren."
He whispered it like he'd known it for years.
Like it hurts to say.
Like it tasted too good on his tongue.
And I–
I didn't know what to say back. So I just sat there, letting him wipe the world off me, piece by piece.
His hands weren't rough.
I expected them to be. He was a commander after all.
I'd seen them grip a sword. Hold a man by the collar. Crack a threat like a whip between his teeth.
But here?
They were... soft. Controlled. Reverent.
And warm. So warm.
He trailed the cloth along my collarbone, slower than he needed to. Then over the dip of my throat.
I flinched. Not from fear. From something else.
Something that made my stomach knot and my chest burn and my eyes flutter half shut before I could stop them.
"Kael…"
I didn't mean to say it like that. So soft. So–
Desperate?
He paused. The cloth was still pressed to my neck.
His other hand rose. Not the one with the rag, but his hand. Bare. Unfiltered—
I snapped back into my current situation when he tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear, and then…
Then his fingers brushed down the side of my jaw. Light. Testing.
Like I was made of something precious.
"Tell me to stop," he murmured, voice low, thick, tight.
"If you want me to."
I should've said it.
Should've pulled back.
Should've remembered who he was. Where we were. What I was.
But I didn't.
Because his hand had slid to the back of my neck.
And his thumb was tracing slow, aching circles against my skin.
And the look in his eyes– gods, that look–
He wasn't asking as a commander. He was pleading as a man.
"I'm still shaking," I said, trying to breathe.
"Then let me hold you," he whispered. "Let me take that from you."
He did.
Kael pulled me forward, gently, until my forehead rested against his collarbone. His arms wrapped around me. One across my back. The other curved low at my waist.
But it wasn't just holding.
Because when I shifted slightly, trying to find air, my thighs brushed his.
And he didn't move away.
No. He tightened his grip.
Like the thought of distance between us hurt more than anything else.
His hand slid slowly, almost cautiously from the middle of my back to the small of it. Then a little lower.
And gods help me, I arched.
Just slightly.
Enough for his breath to catch.
Enough for his other hand to trail up under the hem of the shirt he'd given me.
Fingertips meeting bare skin.
"You're warm," he said, voice half a rasp.
"So are you," I whispered.
And then his lips grazed my hairline. My temple. My cheekbone.
Not quite a kiss. Not yet. But every breath felt like a promise.
And every touch was like a question he was afraid to ask.
I didn't stop him when his fingers traced the curve of my waist.
Didn't stop him when his lips moved closer to mine.
Didn't stop the low hum he made when our noses brushed and we both forgot to breathe for a second too long…
"I thought I lost you," he murmured.
"You didn't."
"But I could have."
His forehead pressed to mine. His breath tasted like the start of something dangerous.
And when our lips finally met-
It wasn't a kiss. It was a claim.
One that stole the oxygen from my lungs and the fear from my bones.
One that made my whole body scream alive.
And still, his hands didn't stray too far and his lips didn't ask for more than I gave.
But they promised they could. And I—
…I was scared of how much I wanted that.
The kiss was supposed to end.
A brief brush of lips.
A fleeting mistake.
A moment of comfort born from chaos.
It should've ended.
But it didn't.
Because the second I leaned in. The second my mouth parted against his,
Kael growled low in his throat, and everything shifted.
His hand, once gentle on my waist, tightened.
Not hard. Not rough. But with intent.
Like he finally allowed himself to want.
His lips, already firm, deepened. Pressed harder. Opened wider.
His tongue brushed mine with a hesitation that shattered too fast to stop.
And I gasped.
That was all he needed.
Kael took that gasp like a gift, claiming it with a hunger I didn't expect.
One hand slid beneath the hem of my shirt again. Fingertips dragging across my spine, tracing the dip at the small of my back, possessive, deliberate. His other cradled my jaw, thumb stroking the corner of my mouth as he kissed me harder - deeper.
My hands–
Gods.
One had tangled in his shirt. The other gripped his shoulder like I was afraid to fall.
Afraid to let go.
Afraid to want this as much as I did.
The kiss turned messy.
Teeth scraping.
Breaths hitching.
Tongues sliding in a rhythm that felt far too natural.
He pulled me into his lap like it was nothing.
Like I weighed nothing.
And I gasped again, thighs straddling his hips without even thinking. I could feel him now.
Hot. Hard.
Unapologetically aroused beneath the thin fabric between us.
His name–
"Kael…"
– came out as a moan against my throat.
Because his lips had moved down my jaw, to the column of my neck, then lower.
He bit just lightly where my shoulder met skin, and I shivered so violently he cursed.
"Tell me to stop," he murmured again. But his voice was wrecked. Desperate.
"Just say it. Say the word and I'll stop–"
"Don't," I breathed, hips pressing forward, my forehead falling to his shoulder.
"Don't stop."
His grip changed.
No longer cautious.
His palm dragged over the bare skin of my back, flattening against my spine and his mouth returned to mine with a fever I couldn't match. So I let him lead.
And Kael?
Kael worshiped.
His lips kissed like they'd missed mine for centuries. His hands wandered like he needed to memorize every line, every scar, every shiver.
There was nothing polite about the way he moved anymore. Nothing restrained.
Only raw, fraying tension. The kind that made you forget what breath even was.
I rocked against him, unthinking.
His hips pushed back. Hand curled under my thigh, fingers slipping beneath the fabric to touch skin, just skin, no further. But gods, it was enough.
Enough to make me tremble.
Enough to pull a sound from me I didn't know I could make.
But it wasn't just lust.
There was something aching in it too.
In the way he kissed my temple between gasps. In how his hands never lifted me too roughly. In the way he paused just for a second, his forehead pressed to mine.
"I thought I'd never hear you say my name," he whispered, voice wrecked.
"Not like that."
I didn't know what to say. So I kissed him again. I didn't know what's gotten into me.
ButI didn't need to understand this.
Not yet. I just needed him.
Right here.
Right now.
And god's, so help me–
Kael gave me everything.