"Okay, let's start the match!" Chitose, acting as the announcer, declared with full enthusiasm. Everyone in the stadium eagerly clashed, trying to push one another in order to win the first competition.
So, how exactly did this happen? Well, this riot started with a simple game.
"What are you guys doing?" I asked after sliding the door open, only to see my older sister tied to a chair.
They exchanged a meaningful look and pointed at the porn game lying peacefully on the table.
"We were short on players, so..."
I simply raised my hand, silencing them. "You don't have to explain. Now that we're all here, we can play. It's better than forcing someone." I walked over to Takao, who gazed at me with pleading eyes. With her mouth taped shut and her body tied up, she couldn't even struggle—she just gave me a pitiful look.
"I'm freeing you now."
After regaining her freedom, she immediately started taunting them, which I found ridiculous. This girl really knows how to look for trouble. But we ignored her and focused on the game instead.
"This game only needs four players, right? Since Shin's joining—"
"Nope..." Kenji, who had been feeling relieved thinking he wouldn't have to participate in that filthy game, was immediately robbed of hope.
"I modified it. Now we can have five players," Roka said proudly, flexing the box of her custom game.
Kenji stood still, black lines metaphorically forming on his forehead. But then a realization struck him. 'Wait a minute... Since Takao was forced to play, maybe she could take my place instead? 'He was about to speak up when—
Whoosh!
A strong gust of wind swept past him, followed by a numb sensation in his chest.
Chitose had stood up on her seat and kicked him. Kenji was knocked down, though the damage wasn't too bad. What bothered him more was her leg now pinning him down.
"You owe us big time for saving your ass, and now we're just asking you to play a game? And you've got the nerve to act like this!?"
"Urghh..." Kenji grumbled, trying to push her off, but she was too strong. He couldn't even budge her. "But the game is just too... you know!?"
He didn't say it out loud, but it was enough to upset Chitose.
"And here I thought you'd man up and keep your word! If we didn't come to save you, you would've ended up in the worst state!" she snapped and began giving him a beating.
"They could've drowned you in the sea with two empty plastic bottles tied to your legs," Sakura added casually.
"I'D DIE IF THAT HAPPENED!"
"Or they could've buried your whole body underground, leaving only a straw to breathe through—one that opens and closes at specific times," Chitose said.
"You sadistic bitch!"
We just stared at them with deadpan expressions. Then Roka added something to spice things up.
"No, they could've *beeped* while *beep* *beep*!"
She spouted something so terrifying that it sounded like a broken bot due to all the censored words.
"I'm sorry! I get it! I'll play! Just let me play!" Kenji cried, both guilty and desperate to avoid more suffering.
"It's just a game anyway. It's not like you're gonna die," I said.
"They're already killing me!" he retorted.
"Well, that's because you refused to play," I replied, shrugging.
"..." He was completely speechless.
"Can you guys keep quiet? I can't focus on reading..." Takao said as she sat comfortably, crossing her legs while munching on our clubroom snacks and reading an I Love Manga volume.
"..."
'Looks like someone's more deserving of a beating than Kenji,' I muttered inwardly but didn't dwell on it. After all, it's normal to show hospitality to visitors—even if it's someone as shameless as her.
"By the way, big sister, how come they caught you? Did they barge into your clubroom and abduct you?" I asked casually.
"You're really something, Shin!" Chitose protested. "Do we look like the kind of people who'd do that?" she asked, clearly annoyed.
"We'd be surprised if you didn't," Kenji said casually.
Everyone glared at him and resumed giving him a beating.
'What a guy...' I sighed. 'If he could just zip his mouth and stop throwing tsukkomis, he'd live such a peaceful life.'
"Me? Well... since we don't have any club activities today, I just came to hang out. I didn't expect not to find you here... and then get caught by them instead," Takao explained.
I pinched the bridge of my nose and shook my head in disappointment. "For some reason, you're getting more and more shameless."
"Hmm? Did you say something?" she asked, looking confused.
"Nope, must be your imagination," I said, waving my hand dismissively.
"Don't think too much about it," Chitose chimed in, leaning back with her hands behind her head, speaking smugly. "She probably doesn't have any friends. There are only junior members in her club anyway."
A large vein popped up on Takao's forehead. "I do have friends! Like... Fukinishi-san!"
"Who?"
'Fukinishi-san...' Hearing her name made me pause. 'If I remember right, she's the heir to a family pottery business—clay molding and all.'
'If I had to define my ideal girlfriend personality-wise, she'd be a great example. Appearance-wise, she has short hair and thin eyebrows and always wears a serious expression that gives off a mature vibe. She'd be perfect for a serious relationship... But if I wanted to mold something from scratch, then she might not be the best choice.'
"What's that smell?" my thoughts were suddenly cut off by Chitose's outburst.
"Smell? I take baths regularly! It's definitely not me!" Takao quickly crossed her arms in an X-pattern, defending herself from the unspoken accusation.
"No, not that..." Chitose replied, sniffing the air again, but the scent was already gone. "It disappeared as fast as it came..."
"What are you talking about?"
"It's faint... but without a doubt, it was the smell of a maiden in love," Chitose said dramatically.
"..."
"What kind of bullshit is that?!" Kenji, having just recovered, let out another tsukkomi.
"Anyway, can we start playing now?" Roka asked.
The porn mags game was no different from a dice game—just roll the dice, move, collect porn mags, steal mags, and sometimes lose some. The one with the most porn mags when reaching the goal wins. Regardless of whoever reaches the end, the only thing that matters is the number of porn mags collected.
"Since Kazama-san and Shin-san are joining us, how about you pick your characters?" Roka said, setting two face-down character cards on the table.
'Hmm...' I didn't pick one right away and fell into deep thought. 'There are only two character cards left. One is Ganzi, a dark-skinned monk I used once as a temporary character. The other is Pervy—a one-eyed, perverted, tentacle-wielding psychic alien.'
'No one likes him, even though he's a rare card. But honestly, it doesn't really matter who I get. I'm bound to win this game easily.'
"Kenji, you can pick first. I'll settle with whatever's left," I suggested.
He gave me a firm nod and randomly picked up a card. After flipping it over, he stared at it, a little surprised.
"What the hell is this—Ganzi? Baldy?" He looked disappointed, clearly not satisfied, though ironically, he got the better of the two.
The girls (except Takao) didn't say anything, but all of them gave me a meaningful look. There was a trace of expectation in their eyes—probably looking forward to my reaction.
Will I protest? Will I be upset? In their eyes I'm always cool and collected.
'But sorry to disappoint you all, but I already know what's coming.'
I picked up the remaining card and turned it over, revealing it to everyone.
"What the hell is this!? Why does such a character even exist?" my sister was the first to voice her frustration. Especially after looking at its description. "Pervy, a pervert!"
Looking at their faces, feeling amused. I could tell they were trying to hold back laughter—with Roka being the exception.
"Urghh... I'm glad I didn't end up with that freak!" Kenji muttered, cringing back.
"Why aren't you saying anything, Shin?" Chitose asked provocatively. "Just a heads-up, we don't have any characters left. So if you're thinking of switching, we don't have any, and I'm not giving Mr. Kids to you!" she declared boldly.
"Same here, Shin-senpai. I'm not giving up Master Sensei even if you try to take it by force," Sakura added firmly.
"I..." Roka, on the other hand, only glanced at me, her eyes filled with worry. She clearly wanted to offer her character, but I cut her off.
"Nope, I'm not dissatisfied," I said, staring at Pervy. "In fact, I'm relieved I got this. If I ended up with Ganzi, Kenji might have protested, and I would have sided with him. You might have lost your precious character and gotten butthurt, so this is a better option."
"..."
"Damn, you're too kind!!!" Kenji said, clutching his chest and pretending to wipe away tears.
"Besides, Roka created this character. It would be disrespectful to disregard someone's effort."
That statement silenced everyone. They stared at me in awe.
It was true. In my previous life, I never appreciated anything. I was picky, bitter, and a hater. I had opportunities—things that could've improved my life—but I ruined them all. I lost everything. That's when I realized I was nothing and had nothing. From then on, I started learning to appreciate things, whether big or small. I'm not perfect at it, but I try. Even if others think my words are nonsense, it doesn't matter. I used to care too much about what people thought of me. I lived by their opinions and lost myself in the process. I lost my own happiness. That's one of my regrets.
So even if the outcome is already decided, the process still matters. That's why it's better to do things my own way and be happy.
Roka looked at me, her eyes full of admiration. Her creamy face slowly flushed with a soft blush. She looked away and rubbed her reddened cheek with her index finger.
"Aren't we just playing a game!? Why does it have to be so dramatic!!" Kenji protested.
"So, who will go first?" Chitose asked with a confident smile, stretching her fingers, clearly fired up.
"I'll go first," I said, grabbing the dice.
To win this game, the standard strategy isn't to rush to the finish line—but to collect as many porn mags as possible along the way. But the tiles are obviously arranged to make it difficult to hit the jackpot tiles more than once or twice in a single run. Still… that's not a problem for me.
The highest possible roll is twelve, and the lowest is two. Everyone starts on tile 1 with zero mags by default. Just by doing basic arithmetic—adding up the mags from tiles 2 to 11—it becomes clear that the cumulative rewards from landing on multiple high-yield tiles outweigh the single reward at tile 12. Even if I tried to force it, there's no way to roll a 1. So instead of blindly advancing one tile at a time, I'll aim for the optimal route: collecting mags strategically over three calculated rolls.
To get the maximum possible number of mags with minimal turns, the ideal rolls are 2, 4, and 5. That would land me on tiles 3, 7, and finally 12. These three tiles offer the best yield. By reaching them in this specific sequence, I'll collect the highest number of mags before the game ends.
I remember back in my previous life—I lost a lot of money playing dice. My opponent always rolled exactly what he needed, no matter how many times. After beating some sense into him and taking my money back, he taught me the trick. It doesn't work in casinos, but in casual street games like this? It's more than enough to win.
With a predetermined outcome in mind, I rolled the dice.