Maria
I have dealt with quite a few children in my life, nya. Like, 10 siblings, and a bunch of cousins, and a bunch of little snot pickers I had to take care of as a side-job in order to get a license to be a certified Cat Maid. It was the final course I had to take in order to graduate from the University of Región de libertad.
Thankfully, I got summoned into a relatively normal family. There was Hilda, the 20 or so year old mother. She was quite the spectacular beauty, without a doubt. Then, there was also Franz. The lovely, doting husband, and "father" towards me. There was also Granny Mai, who I personally adored.
While out on a trip, Franz also found and picked up the young spirit, Kiki. Kiki was like a younger brother, seriously. He spent all of his time cloning Franz, trying to be like him. He was so excited when Hilda and Franz announced they were expecting, it was honestly cute.
I wasn't too surprised when they announced it. The wall's in this house arent very 'thick', per say. And from the noises Hilda makes, I wouldn't be surprised if Franz was what they call a womanizer, especially in bed.
Honestly, this family is beautiful. I miss my old family, but I still chat with them every now and then through letters. With the addition of Lord Zachery, the house has also become more lively. Granny Mai went from being stoic and harsh, especially on Franz, to a doting grandma. Seriously, it only took a day and a peek, and she was already on her way to the capital to buy Zachery clothing that "suited a noble child like himself."
Speaking of, we live in the Capital of Angels, in the middle-holy-land. The Flarehearts were not fairly well off; they are well off. No way of denying it. The house has over 15 rooms, for literally no reason. We only use 5 of them for sleeping, 3 of them as bathrooms, and one as a play area/Library (specifically for Lord Zachery and Granny Mai).
Minus Zachary being a little odd, right now I'd say the family is in a great state. Everybody is happy, myself included. I'm happy to be serving here as a maid. I'm also happy that I'm treated as a daughter, because I wouldn't know what to do if I wasn't.
After all, I'm barely 18. I don't know what to do with my life. It feels existential, yet I also feel calm, knowing that I'm welcomed here. I can only hope that this family continues forever, and ever, and ever.
Also, talking about Zachary, I believe it's time I actually gloss over him. He's a young boy, clearly full of energy (or not, since he falls asleep so easily..)
Although, I would say he has too much energy. He runs around the house, constantly making messes, and always staring outside of windows or trying to learn more about the world. It's cute, yet at the same time, it's worrying how much the boy wants to learn about the world.
He also seems a tad bit… perverted. I saw him running around the house with MY panties on his head, clearly sniffing them. I don't like babies, nor little boys, but if he wants to marry me when he's older, that's when he's older.
I can only hope that his future is only the best for him. I pray for his success, alongside the rest of the family. I truly love everyone here.
*
Zachery
Okay. It's been a year, and around 6 months since I was born. First off, I finally had a decent understanding of the language of this world. It was helnian, which stood for "Human". Which makes sense. Most of the family is human. My mothers name is Hilda, and my fathers name is obviously Franz, while mine is Zachery. Zachery Flareheart.
I have my fathers auburn/blondish hair, while having my mothers red eyes. Well, one of my eyes is red. The other is a bright shade of almost pink. Heterochromia is rare in this world, but nobody truly cares enough to point it out and act like it was a disease.
This world is extremely held back. I mean that seriously. It's in the 1800's era, yet there are no cars, or anything. But, as if a trade-off, this world has something similar to "mana" from tensura or Mushoku Tensei, except it's called "Spirit" here.
To put it simply, "Spirit" is your energy. It's always changing, and the older you grow, the more you not only receive, but the more purified it is. If you truly, truly put all of your focus into spirit, you can eventually hit the same peaks as rulers or the strongest people in the universe at as young as 11.
That was the youngest recorded holder of a seat at the round table of kings. An 11 year old girl who managed to best a 50 year old master of his craft.
See, I would aspire to be like her, but clearly, neither Spirit, nor Swordsmanship were my strong suit. No matter how much I practiced in secret, I was just… mediocre at it. The same as I was with everything in my previous life. It feels harsh simply thinking back to it, but you can't really do anything about that.
It's just the truth. Atleast, though, I was considered a genius because my parents and the rest of the family saw me reading at a year and 5 months of age. Looks like they don't exactly expect kids to actively look for education in this world, which kinda sucks.
Also, my family is a duchy. My father is the Duke Flareheart, and my mother the duchess, making me a young duke? I never read many historical drama novels, so I don't really remember how this type of system works, and at the same time, I don't care.
I want to make a name for myself, as long as that may take. I think that may just be my one regret from my last life.. Never truly becoming 'Shiori'. I never exuded myself, or truly put in the effort, or did anything to warrant any rewards. That is, at least in my eyes.
For now, life was going good. I crawled around the house, read in the library, played with Granny, and slept. A lazy, fulfilling life. I couldn't ask for anything else.
*
Out of boredom, I had developed a habit of simply biting my finger. So, I occasionally sat at the window seat, biting my finger while watching Franz and Kiki spar. It was quite the interesting show, considering how badly Kiki would be beaten.
I mean, the boy is only 12, and he doesn't know much about swordsmanship, while on the other hand, Franz is renowned, and an "ex-dweller", whatever that means. The one book I hadn't been able to reach, I believe, was about "dwelling" and where one "dwells".
The mystery around the subject honestly entices me into wanting to figure out more, but I have to wait just a little bit longer before I can reach those books. Just a tiny bit longer, I swear!
The ever-continuing clashing between Franz and Kiki eventually stopped being so interesting, as I began to whine so that Hilda could pick me up and put me back on the floor. It's about time I crawl over to the library and read!
As she finally noticed my annoying whining, she sighed, walking over to me with that same motherly smile, picking me up and hugging my head on hers.
"What's wrong with you, baby boy? Are you hungry? Tired, perchance?" She asked, as I whined to imply that it was none of those.
"Ah. Let me guess, you want to read, right my little genius Zachary?" She guessed, as I let out what a happy "yes!" should be (AKA, a loud gurgle with small hints of happiness.)
She giggled softly, and put me down on the floor, watching me as I crawled away as fast as possible, while also following behind me since Granny was in the garden, planting, which left me alone in the living room, which was never allowed.
As I eventually arrived inside of the white room, I looked around. I mean, considering that Hilda is here, maybe I could ask her to grab the book about dwelling for me?
No harm in trying!
As I babble mindlessly and try to point at the book while sitting down, Hilda tilts her head.
"What is it that you want, Zachery?"
"Babing! (Dwelling!)"
She looks at me with a confused look, before looking at where my finger was pointing. She read out the subject of all of the books, with me giving a disappointed (ish) babble, until she finally arrived at the book about dwelling, where I smiled and gave her a loud and enthusiastic babble. The greatness of baby communication!
Yet, Hilda was not pleased. She didn't move for a few seconds, simply standing there, before looking back at me. She picked me up, and gone was the motherly smile she always possessed.
It was as if she had been taken over by the devil. Her grasp was simply too strong. I felt her hands gripping on my sides, as I whined out of discomfort.
"You will not, you will never ever ever touch ANYTHING having to do with fucking dwelling. You understand, you brat?" She said, clearly angry as she gritted her teeth.
Did she forget that I'm a baby? That my body is weaker than an adults? My entire torso hurts, and she's not letting go. She'll kill me at this rate, god-damnit??
As I begin to whimper, she finally lets me go roughly, nearly tossing me down to the ground, as she takes the book about dwelling away from the library.
Just how could dwelling even be to warrant such a visceral, nigh deathly response from the usually calm and collected Hilda? It's too bad she won't let me read up on it…
Oh well! On to the next subject.
I guess now I have to move on to learning about all the different types of swords… That'll be relatively interesting!
Grabbing and pulling down the book about swords took a while, but eventually, the dusty packet of papers slammed on the ground as I hovered over it with a childishly proud expression.
As I began to read through the book, one thing swiftly stood out to me. Books in this world took years for many to read, and much longer for many to understand the entirety of them. Yet, they were so simple to me. They felt so easy to just… understand…
Back to topic, though. Swords. It seems that swords in this world can be all-powerful, or complete shit. All up to the user and their capability more so with spiritual manipulation, and then swordsmanship.
Swords were actually conjured into reality through spirit, much like how conjurers conjure things in Hunter Hunter. You imagine the sword, and oftentimes, It'll appear in your hand just as you imagined it.
This also applied for countless things, like daggers, greatswords, bows, and even armor if you hit that much mastery over Spiritual Manipulation. Blacksmiths did NOT exist in this world for that reason, and that reason alone.
Many strong spiritualists have been acknowledged to be capable of making swords that are quite literally unbreakable, and never become rusty or rigged. There have been swords capable of cutting through mountains and entire countries. Stories like these truly allow me to see the world for its true potential.
I can apply myself here. Finally, I can maybe, just maybe be something great. I… want to make Franz and Hilda proud. Even if I don't consider them my parents, they consider me their son. I just… I don't want to waste my life like I did last time.
Talking is just talk, though. I need to execute myself into it if I really mean it though.
So, I stand up, and I start to focus a little bit. Just a tiny bit. I don't have much spirit, since I'm only a year and six months old. But, conjuring the little amount of spirit I have, after around 6 or so minutes of sweat-breaking focus, I finally manage to conjure something.
A tiny, embarrassingly flimsy dagger.
It was today that I realized that my brains are better than my mana.
I recognize this feeling. A mix of heartbreak, and also disappointment. I'm disappointed with myself, yet again. Always failing at something. I thought I might have the chance to really do something great this time. But…
A quick memory flashes back in my head.
A memory from when I was 5. I had just come home from school, a test in my hand…
Shiori
Daddy and Mommy are gonna be so proud of me when they see what I got on this test! I finally scored a 100! I mean, I put all of my effort into the test, but still! I'm sure they'll be happy!
Walking past the grocery store, I waved at the neighbors. I would have stopped at the playground to play a bit, but I was too excited. I really wanted to show it off.
If only I had some money, I could have bought myself an Ice cream. It was so hot outside, it felt almost unbearable. I also completely deserved it.
Yet, my secret prayers were answered, as I noticed my auntie walking down the street.
"Auntie Yui!" I shouted, running towards her as she turned to look at me. A bright smile spread through her face as she caught me, patting my head.
"Oh, Shiori! What are you doing? Are you walking home from school?" She asked, that soft smile illuminating her features, and spreading onto my own face.
"Yeah, I am." I said confidently, clearly happy. "I got a perfect 100 on my math test, Auntie!" I say, showing her the paper with a 100 mark on it. She smiled after gasping in fake shock, clapping.
"Good job~! What a smart little girl you are!" She says, making me grin. Who doesn't love praise?
As we walked forward, I asked her for ice cream, to which she complied in buying me. As we walked towards my house, I held the strawberry ice cream cone in my hand, until I ate it all, including the cone.
"How gluttonous." Said Auntie Yui, in a playful tone, eliciting a giggle from me. "I'm not gluttonous, Auntie." I say, before running forward. I wanted to show off the test, okay?!
I finally arrived at the house, the grin on my face not fading whatsoever. I was ready to barge in there and flaunt the test as I had told myself to!
Yet, as Auntie opened the door, all of the lights were off. Neither Daddy, nor Mommy were anywhere to be seen. My brother also seemed to still be on his way home.
"Mommy?" I called, looking around the house.
"Mayumi?" Auntie Yui called, with a look of concern on her face.
I checked the bathroom, the kitchen, the cabinets, me and my brother's room, everything and anything; anywhere and everywhere! I just couldn't find her, darn it!
As I hmphed and pouted, I sat on the couch for a few seconds, before sighing. I had always been told to never go into Mommy and Daddys room without permission. But, did that rule matter when I oh-so badly wanted to show off my perfect score?
No!
As I walked up the stairs, I prepared myself to be praised by my mother, to be picked up. I walked up those stairs with a smile. I was ready to be showered with love!
Yet, as I opened the door, only the worst of sights awaited me.
It was odd that my mother hadn't opened the door already for me. It was odd that she didn't respond to my shouts, or to my searching. It was odd that she didn't tell me where she was. The turned off lights in the house were equally as odd.
It is truly the small things that highlight bigger pictures. If I had paid attention to those details from the start, maybe I could have prevented this from happening. I could have saved her, as much as it was worth. If..
If I had tried harder to notice things.
Auntie Yui had noticed it. All of those little things. Maybe I could blame it on child-like innocence. But, my consciousness blames me. I blame myself.
Auntie Yui's cries were drowned out, as my body trembled and shivered at the cold sight in front of me. My hands felt like they were cold, yet I was sweating. My voice felt thin and weak, and I didnt even want to speak.
The sight in front of me was simply too horrifying to elicit words from my mouth. I wanted to run away, to reject the reality of the image that stood before me.
Yet, my brain didn't allow me, because it almost knew that I would simply do nothing. It would only cause delusion. I had to accept the tremendous fact of the reality of what was occurring in front of me.
No amount of coping, or lying to oneself can cover up what had happened that fateful day, on May 1st.
May is Mental Health Month. A month where we're supposed to remember and help those in need of our help, due to trauma, psychological conditions, and any other issues.
And May is the month where my mother took her own life, hanging from the ceiling.
That image persisted in my head, until I made myself forget it. Although, it's something I should have never forgotten. Why?
Because I could have prevented it. If I hadn't half-ass'd it, I could have saved my mother.
Zachary
No. That can't be. Mom died in a car accident. She didn't… She didnt kill herself… No… She didnt…
No.
*
It's been a bit, hasn't it? It's been around 9~ months. I haven't really done much. Practice mana, read, all along those lines. I recently started speaking, pretty fluently in this world's tongue, too. I'm quite proud of it, if I do say so myself.
I had also been practicing my mana quite frequently, and I have become quite proficient at it. It only takes me three minutes to conjure a dagger now, and it's nowhere near as taxing, or flimsy.
My magic was also decent. I was proficient more in shadow and flames, though, than anything else. My spiritual veins had also grown much more over the span of this time, allowing me to actually grow and practice more without passing out and pissing my pants.
Hilda still forbade me from reading the books and encyclopedias on Dwelling. It kinda made me mad, but what can you do when Mama Bear doesnt wanna let you do something?
Kiki and Maria had also grown substantially. Maria turned 19, as we all threw her a big party. For the first time in this world, I got to see what a party looked like here.
The entire village rounded up and met up to party. To say it was exciting was an understatement. I had to stay carried by Hilda the entire time in order to not get lost in the crowd and get kidnapped. That's how many people were here.
They brought all sorts of animals. Snakes with bunny tails at the end, Dogs with the speed of cheetahs, anything. They even brought in a mythical dog known as "Pibble." That was so cool..
Overall, though, it was awfully fun. Franz got shit-faced drunk, and Hilda had to reel him in. They had an awful amount of "fun", as everyone in the house could hear. They really need to learn how to tone it down sometimes, I swear. This house doesn't have foam or panelling, you know? It's pretty annoying to sleep with all of those noises.
Kiki had become even more proficient with the sword now, than he had been before. Obviously. It's called progression for a reason.
Yet, it was almost unreal how proficient he became with a sword. Franz quickly became just a mentor, not a sparring partner, as he found himself completely outclassed by Kiki.
Kiki had manifested an Odachi, and that Odachi manifestation came with great reward. The range was right up his alley, as he was relatively short, standing at 161 centimeters. A short king, I guess.
Maisie spent all of her time cooped up with me in the library, reading books alongside me. She often corrected my grammar, and helped me realize when I misread things (as a whole.)
She was truly a great grandmother. I don't think anything would really change that. The family has truly grown for the better!
For now, I'll keep trying my hardest. This is my second chance, of course. I may have felt deterred, but I've still got this. I have to give it all I've got. I can't waste this precious opportunity to live out life again and not make the same mistakes.
One of my bigger mistakes from my first life was being a complete and utter social recluse. I had little friends, and they didn't end up contributing to my life in the end. Not even a functional method of emotional support. They just shrugged it off as if it was dogshit on the side of the road. It infuriates me, but you can only really do so much, especially now that I'm actually dead. I'm no longer in that world, so all I can try to do is grow up a little bit.
On another note, though, I had recently been making more efforts on trying to go outside of the manor, going to the capitol or atleast a village. I need some form of social human interaction that isn't just Maisie, Hilda, or Kiki and Maria. Franz doesn't count, he does his own thing separately. He's kind of a mystery, I won't lie…
I had been annoying Maisie and Maria to take me out, for my annoying whining to simply fall off deaf ears. I guess, in this world, classism was a serious issue. It seemed like their lack of will to take me outside towards the villages directly stemmed from the difference in class between our family and the family's of those in the villages.
Personally, though, I didn't understand the logic behind classism. Being rich doesn't really make me much different from anyone else. But then again, this is medieval people we're talking about. Their brains are still all mumble jumbled. I just want to be taken outside to make human connections. I don't care about class in a situation like this, man. It's boring!
Walking into the library, I mentally fortified myself, preparing to annoy and harass Maisie again. You may think of it to be messed up to annoy your grandmother, but I believe that in this case, it's justified. Hilda told me that I needed to go out with Maisie instead of her because she was too busy, and the same sentiment was echo's by Maria. Although I personally wouldn't exactly trust Maisie with a child's life, considering the woman is a complete shut in, whatever my parents decide goes, I guess.
"Nana! Outside, Nana!" I babbled, the most comprehensively as I could. Being a 2 year old isn't the easiest feat, you know. Although it seems as if Maisie still understood the bare minimum behind what I was saying, as she sighed and stood up from the leather chair where she usually spent her days. Walking over towards me, she picked me up, looking at me with a deadly silent deadpan. It kinda made me uncomfortable, since I'm used to most people in this family looking at me with actual emotion and not as if I'm a porcelain doll.
"... I'll contemplate it, I suppose." She said plainly, before letting me go back to the floor. 'I'll contemplate it..' Jesus! Just let me out at this point! I'm tired of being locked up! I'm sorry for literally anything I've ever done, just release me and let me see the outside world again! Touch grass, or even breathe air that isn't smoke and fire!! I'm tired, okay?!
All one can do sometimes is wait though. At Least her giving it the time of day as a concept, is better than her completely ignoring me just like that.
Maisie
Mother always told me that the outside world was far too dangerous for a girl as pretty as myself. Since then, I have had minimal outside contact with the world. Until my benefactor had brought books into the newly built library, I had formulated no opinions of my own, whatsoever. Every opinion I had was built up off of various other opinions shoved down my throat by my mother, in various attempts to indoctrinate me and turn me into what she considered a perfect doll.
I know this, simply because she couldn't keep it a secret until her very death. I wonder if she only confided this information to me due to her guilt, or because she didn't care anymore, considering how her scheme had ultimately fell short as soon as she had introduced me to that man.
It's ironic. That man destroyed her schemes, yet I can't even remember his name anymore. It's almost a cloud in my memories, a rift in every memory where his face or name is. I cannot remember a detail about him. Maybe it is due to my age, or maybe he did something to me that caused me to mentally lock up and place all memories of him into the back of my head in order to forget about him.
Even now, Mothers lies have an effect on me, though. I cannot bring myself to go outside unless I want a new book. Unless it is for myself, I do not depart from the manor, much less the library or my room. I simply haven't been able to. As if the urge, the ability to leave was removed from my system. Although, many of my experiences with the outside world were abnormally negative.
Of course, I may be 400, but I still only look 40. My entire body is the equivalent of a 20 to 30 year olds. That curse that Adeus planted on me, in my dreams, still has not faded, not even 360 years later. My body is almost frozen in time, stuck in a spot where he wanted me. What a prick.
Currently, Zachary wanted me to take him outside. I suspected that his parents wanted to find some way to get me out of the library, and used this as an excuse to also get me outside alongside the boy. I don't want to go, but considering my duties as a parent, I will most likely opt in to venturing to the neighboring village with the boy, just to soothe his curiosity.
No matter my opinions, or my conditions, I feel it to be quite unfair to not satiate the boy's curiosity, his will for knowledge. He wants to learn, and that goes far above my will over not wanting to go outside.
It has been around 40 minutes since he asked me to go outside, and he had found some sort of occupation by reading. That was the one thing he loved to do; reading. He adored it, almost as much as I. He had read almost 100 books in the last 2 years. I wonder just how much he knows about the world around him, whether or not he could be classified as a genius or a prodigy. I hope that, as should any normal grandmother, that he is a prodigy or a genius. I only hope the best for that child.
Turning and walking towards the boy, I let out my usual sigh. "Zachary. Prepare yourself. We will be heading outside. Make sure to take your coat and your mittens, as it is winter time." I say, turning away and exiting the library to go and grab my own clothing and covers. The weather had recently turned dull and cold, no doubt due to the Dwells' recent lack of fighters. Maybe an ice dragon was throwing a fit. Who could possibly tell?
Waiting outside of the boys room, Maria takes note of me as she passes by. "Are you going outside-nyan?" She asks, tilting her head as she holds the laundry basket closer to herself. "Yes, I am with Zachary. I plan to take him to the village slightly up north to have him meet the villagers." I say, before turning my attention over towards Zachary, who had just walked out of his room with a large smile.
"Are you ready to go?"
"Yeah!"