Chapter 147: Asuna's Love Letter Dilemma
Several days after the entrance ceremony, one night in Asuna's room, Rika and Keiko came over uninvited under the pretext of a "pajama party."
What greeted them was Asuna, buried under a mountain of stationery, furiously writing away.
The chestnut-haired girl at her desk worked at an astonishing speed, the scratching of her fountain pen on parchment blending rhythmically with the ticking of the clock.
Click.
The sudden sound of the door unlocking made Asuna's hand tremble, causing ink to smudge over the neatly written line: "Thank you for your feelings, but please allow me to respectfully decline."
Keiko, hugging a unicorn pillow, and Rika, carrying a box of strawberry cake, had stumbled upon their friend overwhelmed by a sea of letters.
"Hey, what the heck is this?" "Uh… love letters?" "All of these?" "...Fifteen, nineteen…"
Nearly a hundred love letters rendered Rika and Keiko speechless. The overwhelming number stunned them, but what truly shocked them was Asuna's current "project."
"Um, Asuna… don't tell me… you're replying to all of them?" "Yup."
Keiko asked with a last glimmer of hope, only to receive a straightforward answer.
"Asuna… seriously…" "You even wrote replies to the ones handed to you in person?" "Yes, that's right."
Rika's tone turned exasperated.
"You should've just rejected them on the spot!" "But… isn't that kind of rude?"
Asuna looked up timidly, and Rika sighed deeply before explaining.
"If it's something like a letter in your shoe locker or passed through someone, yeah, a reply is polite. But if someone gives you a love letter face-to-face and you don't reject them immediately, they might think there's a chance, right? And if you reject them later, that's even more painful, don't you think?"
"Now that you put it that way… that makes sense." "I get that you're serious and want to be respectful, but it could end up hurting them more."
"...I'm sorry."
Asuna buried her face in the pile of letters with a whimper like a small animal. Seeing her clearly sunk in self-reflection, Rika decided to push things further.
Pulling a chocolate stick from the cake box as a makeshift pointer, she declared:
"Looks like we need role-play training! Keiko, impromptu theater time!"
"Improv… OS (internal monologue)? I don't really get it, but I'll try!"
Rika began a one-woman skit:
"(Hachiman) Asuna, want to hang out after school?" "(Asuna) Sorry, I need to write love letter replies! Ah, I mean rejection letters!"
"(Hachiman) I see, that's too bad. (Keiko! Inner thoughts!)" "Got it! (Hachiman's inner voice) Asuna's always like this lately. I feel kind of lonely."
Hearing this, Asuna panicked:
"I—I'm sorry, Hachiman-kun! I never meant to make you lonely! I really didn't!"
Seeing her fully immersed, Rika continued gleefully:
"(Hachiman) So… what about today?" "(Asuna) Sorry, I'm doing my best, but the pile just keeps growing…"
"(Hachiman) I see… well, it can't be helped if you're popular. (Keiko!)" "(Hachiman's inner voice) I wish Asuna was only popular with me… damn, this is frustrating."
Asuna paled:
"O-of course I feel the same! Uuu…"
Rika delivered the final blow:
"(Unknown girl) Um, Hachiman-kun, want to go somewhere together?"
"Eh!? W-who is that!?"
Seeing her pale face, Rika pressed on:
"(Hachiman) I was supposed to go with Asuna today, but… what now? (Keiko, the final move!)" "Leave it to me! (Hachiman's inner voice) Asuna's been busy replying to letters. No plans today anyway… rejecting this girl would be rude, so maybe just this once… just hanging out isn't cheating."
"(Hachiman) Alright, let's go—" "NOOOOO!! ABSOLUTELY NOT!!"
Asuna screamed and lunged at Rika, shaking her violently. As Rika tried to calm her, she chuckled:
"Easy, Asuna~ good girl~ good girl~"
"Rika-san looks like she's calming a wild horse… Asuna-san, please relax! Asuna-san, good girl~ good girl~"
Keiko joined in soothing her. Eventually, Asuna calmed down. Rika clapped sharply:
"Okay, that's enough!"
The sharp sound snapped Asuna back to her senses, and Rika struck while the iron was hot:
"So? That's one possible future, y'know."
"Ugh… no… what should I do…"
"If the love letters keep coming, rejecting in person won't solve it. You didn't give anyone your email or number, right?"
"Right. I haven't told anyone."
Hearing that, Rika let out a sigh of relief.
"Okay, then we just need to handle the existing ones. What do we do next? Keiko, got any ideas?"
Keiko had a flash of inspiration:
"Hide the tree in the forest, blend into the crowd! Let's call Kazuto for advice from a guy's perspective!"
"That metaphor's weird, but sure, let's try."
Putting the call on speaker, Rika suddenly asked:
"Hey, if I suddenly got a mountain of love letters, what should I do to stop them?"
Keiko screamed inside "He's totally going to misunderstand!!" And sure enough, the line went dead silent. She quickly grabbed the phone to explain.
"I see… You scared me, Rika." "Sorry, I guess it was misleading." "O-of course I trust you!" "Kazuto, saying too much can shorten your lifespan." "Sorry!"
Back on track, Kazuto gave an easy answer:
"Simple. Get the members of each class to spread the word about the strong bond between you and Hachiman. His fanboys will back you up.
Then, Asuna just needs to be more lovey-dovey with Hachiman in public. That should stop the letters."
"Yeah, like increase physical contact: fix his tie during morning meetings, feed him lunch, give him a lap pillow after school."
Asuna fidgeted:
"B-but public displays of affection are so embarrassing…"
Which immediately provoked the trio to yell:
"Asuna, you're the last one allowed to say that!!" "Asuna-san, that's so hypocritical!!" "With this face that flirts every day, you say that?!"
Rika pinched Asuna's cheek:
"You say that with the same face that shows off your love 24/7?"
"Ow ow ow Rika-chan stoooop! I get it... I was wrong..."
And so, the plan was finalized.
Of course, a certain someone knew absolutely nothing about any of this.