"No way," said Emmett, disregarding Harry's statement.
"I bet you I can! In fact, I'll bet you a hundred bucks that I can cause Alice to get so mad within five minutes that she'll yell at me," said Harry, smirking at Emmett.
"You know what? I'll take that bet! Alice hasn't yelled in anger in years," said Emmett, smiling wickedly.
"Alrighty. The time starts as soon as we're in the same room together. When I start, you follow my lead," said Harry, rubbing his hands together mischievously.
"You're on! Let's go," said Emmett, and they both left the forest clearing and ran back to the Cullen house.
A few seconds later they both walked through the front door and found the entire family in the living room in the middle of various activities. Emmett sat down next to Rose while Harry plopped down on the couch next to Alice.
"Like I was saying earlier, the whole concept of marriage is ridiculous. I know that I've been married quite a bit, but that just means that I know better than everyone else," Harry started up as Alice's head snapped in his direction. "I mean I'm all for people falling in love and whatnot, but why spend thousands of dollars on an engagement ring and wedding when you can just buy her a friendship bracelet and be done with it." A frown appeared on Alice's face. "It might be okay for all the suckers out there, but I'm not falling for the so-called 'man trap' again." Alice had a serious frown now.
"You're saying you'd never consider having a wedding?" asked Emmett, smiling as he wrapped his arm around Rose's shoulder.
"Well, if the right girl came along I might consider it," said Harry as he placed his hands behind his head and kicked his feet up on the coffee table. Alice smiled a bit at his statement and went back to reading her magazine. "Of course it would have to have a cool theme ... like a Gilligan's Island wedding," stated Harry as a matter of factly. Alice's head swung back in his direction so fast that Emmett nearly lost it.
"That would definitely be cool," said Emmett, trying not to laugh.
"I know right! I was thinking that the bride and groom would dress like Mary Anne and Gilligan. The maid of honor would be Ginger and the best man would be the Professor. The Skipper would obviously be performing the ceremony."
"Obviously," stated Emmett. Rose was looking back and forth between the two like they were nuts. Alice had a vein forming in the middle of her forehead.
"And you can forget about spending thousands. They have some great stuff at the Dollar Store. Does it really matter that none of it matches? No sir. My decoration budget will be thirty-five dollars and not a penny more," Harry smiled. Alice's eye was beginning to twitch.
"What about food?" asked Emmett with a twinkle in his eyes.
"I'll buy it in bulk from Costco. I'm thinking half a Hot Pocket is good for each guest. Throw in a small bag of Cheetos and you've got yourself the makings of a two-course meal." Was it just Harry or was that vein in Alice's head starting to throb?
"What are you thinking for dessert?" asked Emmett in a shaky voice.
"Twinkies and Ding Dongs. Their choice. Individually wrapped of course. It adds a touch of elegance," Harry stated seriously. Esme obviously knew what they were doing. Her smile and sparkling eyes gave it away. Carlisle was just shaking his head. Alice was on the verge of having a fit. Poor Jasper had to rub her arm to keep her from lashing out.
"I assume that we'll at least be toasting you with champagne?" asked Emmett, snickering.
"Nope! Sprite. It's bubbly and clear just like champagne but at a fraction of the cost. We gotta keep it classy so I'm thinking twenty-ounce bottles. And I don't want the classic 'best man speech'. I'd much rather have a comedy roast. Talk about how I gave the bride STDs and how you first met me snorting cocaine out of a hooker's navel and stuff like that," said Harry happily. Alice was pinching the area between her eyes and breathing heavily.
"Got a good location in mind?" Emmett asked, his face twitching a bit.
"You bet. You know that lovely reservoir two towns over?"
"The one right next to the city dump?" Emmett asked for clarification.
"Yep. A few fake plastic trees and plants and it'll make a kick-ass lagoon. I know it's downwind and the smell can be a bit funky, but I was thinking that we could provide free samples of Vick's Vapor Rub that the guests can smear under their nostrils. Problem solved. Oh and don't worry about seating. I know a guy that has fifty lawn chairs I can borrow. They're a bit rusty but that's nothing a little spray paint can't fix. And the best part is that once the wedding is done, everyone can grab an armful of decorations and walk them over to the landfill." Alice had placed her hands over her ears and was shaking her head from side to side. Unbeknownst to anyone else, he was sending Alice visions of his "next wedding". She could see the guests gagging when the wind shifted.
"What about the bride's dress? They can be expensive, you know," asked Emmett, biting his lip.
"Already taken care of my friend," said Harry, shaking his head. "Why spend thousands or even hundreds on a dress when that old lady who lives down on 3rd Street can make it for twenty bucks. All you gotta do is provide the material. And I mean sure, she can't see very well so the seams come out crooked but who cares? You only wear it once then it goes right in the dumpster," said Harry, exhaling a relaxing sigh. Alice was twisting her crumpled magazine in her hands.
"Hmm. Twenty bucks you say? That's a bargain," Emmett said, smiling widely.
"Sure is. She does smoke like a freight train and owns way too many cats, but I'm sure a can of Fabreeze will take care of any lingering odors," said Harry, examining his fingernails. Alice was rubbing her temples.
What about the bride's accessories? You know? Like the veil?" asked Emmett, leaning forward a bit.
"Well, I was thinking since it's going to be Gilligan's Island themed, we can make one out of an old throw net. You know, the kind you go fishing with? You can buy them used at the Bait and Tackle shop. You just gotta wash off the fish stink and you're good to go. Then you take a pair of garden shears and a roll of duct tape and ..."
WHACK!
"AAARGH!" Harry cried out, clutching his nose. Alice disappeared in a flash, leaving everyone stunned and Emmett laughing loud.
"I can't believe she punched you," muttered Jasper. "I was even using my powers to calm her down," he said, shaking his head. He zipped off after her.
Harry was blinking away the pain as he touched his tender nose. "She can punch hard for such a tiny person," he stated.
"You know … she didn't actually yell," Emmett smiled, pointing out the loophole in the bet. Harry rolled his eyes and tossed him a hundred-dollar bill. As Emmett gloated, Harry didn't have the heart to tell him that he had stolen the money from his own bank account.
"Serves you right," Rosalie smiled. "She has a particular love for weddings and finds themed weddings to be sacrilegious."
"If she decides to stay mad, then I'll make it up to her," Harry chuckled, shaking his head at the crazy girl.
It had just turned May and the students of Forks High were beginning to get restless. They could feel summer getting closer and closer. Harry was still doing his thing. Sometimes he would go off and explore the world for a few days before coming back to Forks and spending time with Bella and the Cullens. He found them pleasant to be around. Not only that, but the wolf girl, Leah could barely function unless she was provided orgasms by him at least a few times a week.
Everything wasn't perfect though. The Cullens were keeping an eye on a situation that was getting worse and worse over in Seattle. People were disappearing at an ever-increasing rate leading some to wonder if there was a serial killer on the loose. Harry didn't get involved with that, since they weren't bothering him. The Cullens had their theories but that was for them to deal with. Harry already knew that it was vampires creating a small army. He'd deal with them if need be, but for the moment he'd let the Cullens decide how to handle it. Even so, he made sure to keep constant tabs on Bella just in case. Leah didn't need it since she could easily take care of herself and had a pack of monstrous wolves to watch her back.
Rosalie and Emmett had been trying to get to know him better. It was clear that Rosalie wanted to have a baby, but they were still having a hard time making the final decision. Harry and Emmett had built a decent friendship over the past couple of months. Harry had even found a fun pastime of irritating Alice. She was such a nice and bubbly person that he found it funny to see her lose her marbles.
"Harry? Can you hear me?" Harry suddenly heard in his mind. Rosalie's sweet voice was easy to recognize. She must have been intentionally trying to talk to him through his mind for him to pick it up so easily. Normally he blocked most of the voices from his head.
"I can hear you, Rosalie. What do you need?" he answered back.
"Can we talk in private … just the two of us?"
Rosalie gasped when suddenly, everyone and everything stopped dead in its tracks. The rest of her family were as stiff as boards, and there wasn't a sound to be heard. Looking through the living room window, she could see tree branches swaying in the wind in the distance, but closer to the house the trees were still. She could even see a moth frozen in place mid-air. She found it extremely eerie. When Harry confessed that he could slow time, or even stop it, she believed it. But somehow, seeing it was a whole nother story. She reached out and poked Emmett. He didn't even blink.
"Now, how can I help you?" Harry asked. Rose turned her attention from her frozen family back to him.
"Emmett and I talked it over … many times in fact, and we also discussed it with my family." She took a deep breath. "We're ready to have a child."
"Really?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow. She nodded her blonde head.
"I did want to ask a question though. The baby will technically be yours and mine …" she said. Harry nodded at the statement. "Well … how will Emmett fit in? I mean …"
"He wants to be the father?" Harry assumed. Rosalie once again nodded. "I'll stay out of the way unless I find you to be unfit parents, or the baby is in danger. I have a responsibility to make sure that any child I have grows up happy and healthy. But as long as you both take care of it properly, I'll take a backseat to the child's upbringing," Harry explained.
He'd been in this situation before. He'd had children with women that didn't want him around afterward for one reason or another. He usually respected their wishes, but still stayed close to keep an eye on the child and provide anything that he could for it, whether the woman liked it or not.
Rosalie let out a sigh of relief. "But you'll stick around, correct?" she asked. The family enjoyed having him around. His powers alone were a major boon in keeping them all safe. Not to mention that if the Volturi ever found out about her having a baby, they'd investigate for sure.
"For at least as long as the child lives," he told her.
"And you'll protect it from the Volturi?" she asked.
"Of course. You don't need to worry about them."
Rosalie nodded. "I'll discuss this with Emmett and talk to you again soon."
"No problem," Harry smiled. Before he unfroze them, he moved Emmett's arm and stuck his finger in his nose. Sitting back down, Harry snapped his fingers just as Rose rolled her eyes.
"Hey! What the …" Emmett exclaimed as his family laughed at him.
Immortals
"So, where's old Special Ed at?" Harry asked as he splashed Bella in the face with a handful of warm Caribbean seawater.
"He's discussing the whole baby thing with the rest of the Cullens," she said as she jumped up to avoid a big wave. Harry watched her breasts bounce as she did so. As always, when he brought her to the familiar stretch of uninhabited beach, he changed her clothes into a bikini. Like always, he chose the most skimpy and scandalous one. Bella didn't mind, since she had been through this dozens of times.
"Then why aren't you there?"
"I chose not to be. It's Rosalie's decision, and she still doesn't like me much. I figured that she wouldn't want me there, and I don't want to cause trouble. Besides, I already told Edward how I feel about it," Bella said
"Oh? And how do you feel?" Harry asked, wondering about her mindset.
Bella bit her lip in a cute way. "A little jealous, but also happy. If you give her a baby, then you'll stay longer, right?" Seeing him nod, she smiled and went on. "If it means that you'll stay, then I'm all for it." Harry chuckled.
"How gracious of you." He then appeared before her and wrapped his arms around her waist. Lifting her up, Bella gasped at being in his arms again. On instinct, her soft, smooth legs wrapped around his waist as her arms encircled his neck. "I assume that you still plan on becoming one of them?" Bella blushed and nodded.
"I've spoken to Edward about it. Even though he isn't thrilled about the idea, he still agreed." She saw Harry smile naughtily.
"Then perhaps one day you'll want a baby of your own. I'll be more than happy to put one in your belly," he teased, squeezing her smooth bottom. Bella squeaked in embarrassment before smacking his shoulder. She yelled in fright as Harry tossed her twenty feet into the air and let her crash back into the water. When she broke the water's surface, she moved the wet hair from her eyes and sputtered. She didn't notice that her top had come off until Harry wolf-whistled at her.
Immortals
"So, you both are absolutely sure about this?" Harry asked again. They both nodded.
"If we decide to have another child, then I'll be having it with a muggle girl to keep things fair. You did say that you'll help us with that, right? You know … to keep the girl safe and healthy?" Emmett asked, holding Rosalie's hand.
"Yes. If that's what you decide, then I'll keep the girl alive and healthy, along with the baby, of course," he promised.
"Good. Can you give us a moment?" Rosalie asked him. Harry nodded and faded away.
Harry avoided listening to their private conversation as they said their temporary goodbyes. For Emmett, it may only be a week or two. For Rosalie, the time away depended on her. When she was ready, Emmett walked off, and she said, "Okay, Harry. I'm ready." With that, they disappeared.
Rosalie was nervous when they appeared in a small but beautiful beach house. She could see that it was incredibly sunny outside as she set her suitcase down. Walking to the window, she looked outside. "Where are we?"
"On an uninhabited island in the Caribbean. I bring Bella here quite often. Though, I did add the beach house just for us. I stole it from a South American drug lord," Harry smirked. Knowing that she was nervous, he walked up behind her.
"You don't have to worry. Everything will work out just fine," he told her, placing his hand on her shoulder. She turned her head and smiled. Harry reached out and took her hand. He could feel how cold it was, but the temperature or hardness didn't bother him. Together they went out for a walk along the beach. Harry temporarily removed the sparkle from her skin, which she was happy about. They spent a few hours talking about themselves and their lives. After a while, Rosalie began to calm down, and her nerves settled.
"How about we go for a swim?" Harry suddenly asked. Rosalie suddenly realized something.
"I didn't bring a swimsuit because someone didn't tell me that we were staying on a beach," she said, placing her hands on her wide, sexy hips.
Harry just smirked. As he snapped his fingers, Rose suddenly felt the sea breeze on her bare body. Looking down, she could see that her two-piece bikini consisted of three tiny triangles and a lot of string. She gasped and covered her body the best that she could, which wasn't easy. Rosalie was spilling out of every side.
"Harry! This bikini is obscene!" she complained. Harry laughed.
"Don't worry. You'll get used to it. Bella did," he told her. Rosalie raised one of her perfect eyebrows at the statement.
"Bella wears one of these?"
"Yep. She looks great in it too," he smiled. Rosalie huffed and let her arms fall to the side. Harry's eyes traveled over her gorgeous form.
"What would Edward have to say about that?" she snorted.
"As it happened during her abandonment, I don't think he'd have much to say. And if he did, I don't think my reply would be too kind. Now let's go!" he said, scooping her up in a bridal carry and running into the splashing waves.