I didn't know why I told Kanna about my past — well, about my children at least. Maybe it was because I never had anyone I could tell anything about that part of my life.
So many things I couldn't talk about: the past, the future, the way this world was so different compared to Earth… so much. Even now, even as Kaguya, I still felt a slight need to vent, but I had no one I could speak to.
Everyone… everyone I had surrounded myself with saw something I wanted them to see.
To everyone back in Konoha, the Hyūga clan sees me as the perfect, obedient branch family member, and Koji and the Inuzuka clan see me as the perfect lover for one of their own. Even Konoha itself sees me as a loyal kunoichi.
But it was all a lie.
Maybe, after lying so much, I just needed a bit of honesty — and Kanna, a lost woman completely dependent on my protection… with her, I could be anyone, anything, and she wouldn't judge me, because she couldn't afford to.
Which meant that I could be honest.
Because even if she didn't like me… what could she do about it?
Without me, she and her daughter would die…
It was cold, but it was true, and in some way, I enjoyed it… it was like having a little pet — just cuter. Little Karin was cute, really an adorable child, so full of joy even after having grown up in such a dark place.
There was no doubt that Kanna loved her daughter and gave her all her love. I, too, had loved my sons; I had given them everything, even shared my chakra with them… I could only hope little Karin wouldn't grow up to be as ungrateful as my children.
Only Zetsu — my shadow, my will — only he was loyal to me, because that was his purpose.
"Tomorrow we will go get you two some new clothes," I finally said.
Kanna was clearly startled by my sudden words, having grown used to me being quiet all the time. "You don't have t—"
"Yes, I do. I took you from your home and didn't give you a chance to get any belongings. Don't think I don't know you've been wearing the same outfit for weeks. Even if it's been washed a few times, it's hardly proper for a woman to have nothing." I waved off her concerns.
Kanna looked at me for a long moment, her lips parting as if to argue, then closing again. She bowed her head instead, voice soft and hesitant. "Thank you, Kaguya-hime."
I was about to say something, but stopped myself, because I couldn't tell her to stop being so scared of me. I wasn't going to turn around and kill her because she made a sound or a mistake.
But… me saying that would mean nothing.
I would just have to show her that I wasn't unreasonable: that yes, I did invade a shinobi village and leave behind a massacre, and yes, I did it because they insulted me — but that didn't mean I was some unstable madwoman!
Well, maybe just a bit… but it was hardly my fault, now, was it? Being sealed in the moon for that long… it did affect me, and no amount of blowing off steam as Yuki could fix that much damage.
But some shopping could help. It always could.
…
The next morning, we bought a few outfits for Kanna. Nothing much — the small town we were in didn't have much to offer — but since I was in the mood for some shopping, I decided to go to the capital city of the Land of Fire.
"Come, Kanna. We will take a few days to get there, and the walking will do you good. As a descendant of the Uzumaki clan, you are laughably weak; you need to get in shape," I said as we passed the gates and started on the road ahead.
"How long is that? Last time you said 'a few days,' it took two weeks," Kanna asked as she shifted little Karin in her arms.
"Well, I wasn't yet used to the slower pace we set back then. This time we will move to one waystation, then a town, and one more waystation before arriving around evening — so just three or four days," I said, having done the calculations for our trip.
"All right," she murmured. "Come, Karin — time for some fresh air."
Karin was happy — she was always happy in her mother's arms; such an easy child.
One day I would have to figure out what to do with her. Her mother wasn't a kunoichi and couldn't really train her, and I wasn't sure I could do it myself — but sending her off didn't feel like a good solution either.
Few places in the world would offer a female Uzumaki child a kind fate, much less a good future.
A problem to deal with, for sure — but in the future, where I put all my problems for future me to handle. Once I was back at full power… I could deal with anything easily, so why not give her all the problems to solve?
We spent most of the first day in silence, having little to talk about except when Karin needed attention. I couldn't help but offer Kanna advice.
"Hold her higher," I said when she adjusted Karin on her hip for the fifth time. "She wants to see where she's going; she is a curious little child."
Kanna smiled faintly, a shy, awkward thing that vanished almost as soon as it appeared. "That she is — always wanting to crawl around, putting everything in her mouth."
A small smile cracked my lips as I thought back to when my own children had been that age. They were just like that, always trying to put everything in their mouths. Even as powerful as I had been, I struggled to control them.
"When we get to the capital, we can buy her some small toys — safe things for her to put in her mouth. There's no point trying to stop one so young; they are a force of their own," I advised gently.
Kanna blinked at me, a little surprised by my tone, before smiling softly. "You really do know children well, Kaguya-hime."
"I had to raise mine pretty much on my own, so I know how hard it can be — and I had two, so they were quite a handful." I waved a hand dismissively. "One of them tried to crawl into the fireplace to touch the fire."
Kanna let out a startled laugh, covering her mouth as if afraid she had overstepped. "I… I can't imagine that."
"I couldn't either," I said dryly. "But it happened anyway. Children have no sense of danger."
"That's true," she said, glancing down at Karin fondly. "She tries to grab everything shiny, especially hairpins. It's like she has a radar for things that could stab her."
I allowed myself a small chuckle. "Yes, anything shiny is something they can't resist — be it hairpins or sharp blades."
Kanna laughed again, more freely this time. "You sound almost like a real person when you say things like that."
"Almost?" I raised a brow.
Her expression froze, realizing what she had just said. "I mean — I didn't—"
"I know what you meant," I interrupted, but there was no heat in my voice. "You're not wrong. Those high above see those below as little more than toys. A daimyō does not ask his people their wants; he decides them."
I didn't want to start throwing around divine titles — that would come off as too arrogant — so I put it in more easily understood terms.
Kanna nodded slowly, turning the thought over. "I suppose that's true. The people under a daimyō don't really have a say in anything. They just… live with what they're given."
"Exactly. To those above, it is mercy when they are fed, and to those below, it is justice when they starve."
She frowned slightly. "You… are you a noble? Is that why you seem so… distant?"
"You could say that," I said. (I was a goddess; it didn't get more noble than that — though saying so would be beyond arrogant.) "I was married to a daimyō. He was the father of my first two sons."
Kanna blinked in surprise. "Truly? I didn't think you'd ever been married."
"You thought I would have children without a husband?" I asked, turning my head toward her.
Kanna instantly froze, realizing she had been rather disrespectful. "I'm sorry… it's just — you are so… so independent. I couldn't see you as someone's wife."
I couldn't help but snort. Indeed, I had been very different back then. "Never fall in love. It only makes you weak — and weakness… it will only lead to danger, for you and for your children." My tone ended the discussion as we continued in silence.
After that, we didn't speak for a long while. The silence between us grew heavier with each step, but not hostile — simply weighted by the truth of what I had said.
Kanna didn't argue. She held Karin a little closer instead, her eyes fixed on the dirt road ahead. I could feel the faint tremor of her chakra — worry, perhaps, or something like guilt. Love was dangerous, yes, but it was also the only thing keeping her walking.
Maybe that was the difference between us.
"Do you regret it?" she asked finally, her voice quiet, almost lost to the wind.
"Regret?" I repeated. "There are many things I regret… but that is why I have decided to do better — to not make more regrets."
"That's very wise."
"Age and experience do that to you."
We fell back into a gentler silence after that — lighter than before. The road unspooled beneath our feet: hedgerows, terraced fields, little farm shrines with rain-dark prayer boards. We made the first waystation by dusk.
Being close and on a direct route to the capital meant the place had larger inns, which meant better beds and food than some of the other waystations.
On the second day, wind came in off the plains and carried roadside gossip faster than any courier. At a teahouse I heard the whispers clearly:
"…Grass in smoke, they say…"
"…Heard it was Iwa…"
"…an army of bandits…"
"…Bones — it must be Kiri…"
Kanna flinched at that last one. She looked almost worried someone was going to jump out and attack us. But I wasn't bothered.
"Rumors travel fast, don't they? And a whole army of bandits? I wonder if they were too embarrassed to say it was one kunoichi and made up a story," I said with amusement — and a bit of genuine curiosity.
Kanna clearly didn't share my calm, but then again, she didn't understand the way the world worked. Not yet.
On the third day the road widened and took on the particular cleanliness that says officials pass often. Patrols moved in pairs, blades tied down in ritual knots; tax carts rattled toward the provinces; the milestones grew fatter and better carved. By noon we crested a low ridge, and the world spilled open.
"There," I said.
The capital of Fire spread like a fan across the valley — tiled roofs in orderly waves, red-lacquer gates and whitewashed walls, banners bearing the daimyō's mon snapping in the autumn breeze.
(End of chapter)
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